I love it. I really, really do! Especially the ending, you used the quote well and it was very emotional! I love Snape :')
The only thing I would say is that you have mixed up your tenses a lot, you go from past to present and back again - I would look over that. Also, the sentence: "Even when I got sorted into Slytherin or when she disapproved of my friends did this happen before" doesn't really make sense. Other than that, there are a few missing capital letters, but seriously, I LOVE IT :) xAuthor's Response: Thank you! :D
Yeah I realise that I have to go back and edit stuff up but it was just put up really quickly. But anything thank you for reviewing! :) x Report Review
This was a wonderful look at how Snape tried to get her friendship back after he called her mudblood. I love that you didn't change this from canon and had it so that she was mad at him and didnt forgive him. I think that she might have forgiven him at a later date if he wouldn't have joined the Death Eaters but right away she was still mad. I think you did a great job describing his emotions during this and how he was sad to find out that he had hurt lily by calling her that. I think this was really well done! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: thank you, this means a lot. :) Report Review
Hi there! Sorry it's taken me this long to get to reading and reviewing your story.
I really like it. I think it is a good reflection into what happens that fateful day when Severus doesn't choose his words as carefully as he did before. I thought you did a great job bringing to life his emotions and Lily's. Severus can be quite the character to undertake.
I did noticed a few minor typos and spelling errors. They did disrupt a bit from the flow of your story, but I think in the overall case of flow you did a good job. The pace was great and I think that this was well thought out.
Keep up the good writing! =)
-SR17Author's Response: Hey :)
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it.
Yeah I've been thinking of getting a beta to help me with things like that.
Thank you this was a great review :D x Report Review
Hello! I love, love, LOVE Snily, and so when I saw this advertised on the forums, I made a mental note to come see it :)
Oh, poor Severus! I felt so bad for him, being forced to pretend to celebrate his "eye-opening experience" when all he wanted to do was go find Lily and try again, fruitlessly, to apologize. I really liked how you didn't try to romanticize him too much, here, though -- for instance, I liked how he referred to Mary as a Mudblood without a second thought, even after what the use of the word has brought him. He clearly thinks of Lily as someone different from anyone else.
This was very good, and you definitely pulled at my heartstrings. I think it could benefit from some beta-reading, since I see a few places where commas are missing that interrupt the flow a little, but it's a great piece as it is.
Nice job! :)
green with envy 2012Author's Response: Thank you! :)
I will look into getting a beta, I think it would help a lot. Grammar's not really my strong point.
I loved this review though, thank you so much. Glad you liked it :D x Report Review
Hi! That was a really lovely one shot! I simply love Snape/Lily, I think Severus might have loved Lily more than James did. The way you described things, and how Severus felt, was magnificent. I felt like I was actually there, witnessing the whole story.
I especially liked the part when Mary started to shout at Severus, it seemed so real and I could definitely imagine that scene in my head, it was wonderful to read.
You did a really good job on this one-shot. I enjoyed every single bit of it.
x LivingfairytaleAuthor's Response: This is a great review, thank you! Glad you liked it too :) Report Review
This was such a lovely one-shot. I think you did well in grasping the feelings Severus was having after his slip-up with Lily. As a Snily supporter to the end, of course I wish things would have happened differently, but I thought this was very great.
I liked how you showed he didn't care about his Slytherin friends cheering for him, and also how he called Mary McDonald a mudblood anyway. It shows that even after he realized how much the word effected Lily, he wouldn't have stopped the Dark Arts for her. Brilliant work on this, I loved it.Author's Response: Thank you so much, glad you liked it. :) Report Review
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