4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarFeather Unforgiven, Penitent and Alone

13th September 2013:
I enjoyed this chapter, thank you.

Author's Response: This was the original beginning story of Dragon. I wanted to make Draco seem like a real person. Flawed, probably hard to like, but a not a cardboard villian. I was not sure I succeeded and I compromised by putting my old 'troll' story in first but I gave it a try, afterward.

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Review #2, by saloho Job Interview

9th September 2012:
When do we get part 5?

Author's Response: Thank you for your interest. I am still working on a last effort toward Part 5. I will stop dawdling my evenings away by watching Top Gear and get it finished.

thanks


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Review #3, by Melou Job Interview

23rd August 2012:
I loved the series! It started off a bit wonky but definitely a unique story and I enjoyed it immensely. Several of the chapters had me laughing quite loudly (especially the joke itch scene!) Others had me on the edge of my seat in confusion, wondering what was going to happen next. I really enjoyed your characters and I thank you immensely for allowing me to be a part of their world for a little while!

Author's Response: Thank your for your comments. It began just as sort of a test to prove to myself that I could do this, for one short story, and has sort of turned into a hobby. I didn't want to stray too far from the original characters, but after a few stories, you can only have so many of the same people.

I really appreciate that you liked 'Joke Itch'. I am painfully unfunny, and it must have been the hardest thing I have ever had to write.


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Review #4, by Live Life Large Different Kinds of Trolls

18th July 2012:
I think you might want to consider splitting this chapter into two or maybe even three. 10k words is a lot for one chapter, and I totally respect you for being able to write that much, but it takes a long time for someone to read this. Also, it kind of puts people off reading your story since your first chapter is so long.

That being said, your characterization was good. I liked how Harry was a detective, it was nice to see something different from the average "Harry becomes head auror" thing, even if it is canon. It was a nice change.

I wanted to point out a few things that I noticed while I was reading:

-"...and only distant car traffic was visible evidence of any Muggle activity, whatsoever."
I think the "whatsoever" at the end sort of messes up the flow of this sentence and makes it feel a bit clumsy. I would still understand that distant car traffic was the only sign of muggles if you took that out.

-"'The client said that decided for her that some wizardry was about...'"
I had to read this a couple of times to understand what you were trying to say here. I think it might sound better if you said something like, "The client said that made her decide..." just because the flow felt a little off before.

Interesting chapter, I enjoyed reading it!

Live Life Large(:

Author's Response: Thanks for writing. I appreciate the comments. I haven't had many.

The original beginning chapter with Draco seemed rather weak. I got rather frustrated after resubmitting it, so gladly went on to other things as soon as it passed the editors. Sorry about the bad syntax.

Originally, this was a stand-alone short, from when I first started writing. I had to dumb it down (at first the children were real prisoners in a dungeon and the troll a lot meaner). I tried to clean it up when I resubmitted it, but should have been more diligent. At least I removed most of the misspellings.

I've gotten bored with the 'canon' stories. They are great and I don't put down readers who like that, but after awhile I just begin to want a bit of Harry living in the real world. I tried to give him an average job I thought fit his skill at solving puzzles. But I also wanted to write about the other characters, who are mostly just background in the original HP books.


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