Hello! So, I think that the start to this story is really really interesting, and I don't believe I have seen anything like it on the archives. So right away, you're off to a good start . One thing I would definitely recommend is breaking up your paragraphs more. It can be difficult to find a breaking point, but it really will make a world of difference. As they are now it's easy to lose track in them and it's a huge distraction. That should be a relatively simple fix. Beyond that, I think you really do have an interesting premise! Dom's voice is interesting, not boring. Also, I like that you've brought in the mystery at the end with the unknown male character. Good work! Keep writing! ~CassieAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! The review and kind words are very much appreciated. The formatting/paragraph advice is excellent, thank you. I will remember that and hopefully have time to keep going with this story. Again, thanks for the review! Report Review
Great! Keep writing, you have a gift! :)Author's Response: Thanks! I will try my best to continue with Blue Moon Report Review
navigation
home
search HPFF read stories write stories login/register get help site links forums podcasts Terms of Service Site Rules contact us
categories & genres
Genre: - crossover - drama - fluff - general - horror/dark - humor - mystery - romance - action/adventure - angst - au - young adult
Popular Pairings: - harry/ginny - ron/hermione - james/lily - draco/hermione - more...
Format: - one-shot - short story - novella - novel - short story collection - songfic
quick links
my account ToS random story site rules help merchandise
fanfictionworld.net