Reading Reviews for In Crimson Ink
  
39 Reviews Found

Review #1, by long_live_luna_bellatrix September 1st

18th July 2012:
I'm back again. :D I have to tell you, usually when I read stories set on September 1, I silently (or not silently) moan the entire time, because they all follow the exact same formula. But here, for whatever reason, I didn't even connect this chapter with the usual September 1 pattern. Maybe because it was the second chapter, but more likely because of the quality of the writing, it worked. I think it was the conversation about the Hogwarts Memorial that made the difference; because you introduced it early on, and continued the thread throughout the chapter, it felt like it actually had a purpose other than getting the kids to school.

Other things I enjoyed included many tidbits: Fleur's comment about zat ugly lion and the Fake Weasley especially. Fleur sounded perfectly in character, and the Fake Weasley thing makes a ton of sense. The mention of Luna giving a really powerful speech also was a great idea, one I pictured with ease.

One thing that felt out of place was all the background information that you stuck in at various points. Some of it worked, such as the way we learned quite a bit about James without him ever making an appearance: most of it was actually from the family conversation, which was great. But then there was the huge story about how Lily and Hattie met, which I think would have been okay normally, but it was so long that it interrupted the action a bit, in my opinion. Then there was also the long section about Hugo, which felt unnecessary to me, at least at this point in time, because he hasn't played a role in the story.

Another thing that may need some work is your dialogue. Specifically, the tags. You used a lot of adverbs, such as "I smiled apologetically" or "Ginny Potter said absently." They didn't add too much to the story, because usually, the dialogue can illustrate the speaker's mood by itself. The same thing for people's body language: after people spoke, a lot of the time you added actions, such as jerking heads or clapping hands on shoulders. Same as with the adverbs, those usually didn't add much because I could tell their mood without the extra words. All of those things hanging around tended to clutter up the story, at least in my opinion.

Other than that, it was a great continuation of the story. I can't wait to see how things pan out, both with the scandal and "him." He's Ben, maybe? I don't know, I'll wait and find out. ;) Sorry for all the tense switches in this review, I wrote it in about five sittings because I kept getting interrupted, it was all I could do to retain my train of thought.

Author's Response: Hi again! :D Ahh, now I'm blushing from that amazing compliment. Thank you! I'm guilty for having a lot of September First scenes (they totally do follow the same formula, I know what you mean) but they seem like the natural way to start a story for me. This was the easiest way for me to introuduce the memorial, and I'm glad you liked that! It really was just to get the kids to school, but as long as it seemed like it had other purposes, I'm happy :P

Ooh, glad you liked those! I've had a lot of fun writing the Weasleys and Ben is my favorite character (even though he's not really a main character, nor is he "him" :P) Oh and you picked up on the speech! Remember that. It's important ;)

Like I said, I'm sort of a background information nut (the amount of flashbacks I have in my other WIP shoudl be illegal :P) but I definitely see what you mean about it interrupting. I'll take a look at it and see if I can break it up/take some parts out. lol I love making up elaborate backstories but there's a place to put them, so I'll have another look at that.

I have a terrible habit with dialogue :P When I was in elementary school, everyone said to never use "said" by itself so I got into the habit of putting other things with it. So thank you for pointing that out, because I probably wouldn't have noticed it otherwise. Clean dialogue is something I always bring up in my own reviews, and now I'm guilty of not doing it myself *headdesk* That's /definitely/ something I'll work on because it bothers me as much as it does for you.

Not a problem at all, this review was just about the best thing ever! I'm so glad you're enjoying it and thank you for reading the second chapter too! As for the scandal and him...we haven't quite gotten to either yet, but soon ;)

-Naida


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Review #2, by long_live_luna_bellatrix April 3rd, 2024

18th July 2012:
Wow, you've totally sucked me into this in just 1300 words. You would have had me at the beginning, when it was clear something huge had happened to Lily and you clearly weren't going to give anything away, but it just kept getting better. You got a fairly good amount of background information in, you showed that Lily had a pretty good relationship with her brothers, and just generally made me curious as heck. ;)

But the best part was the ending. By about halfway through the chapter, I understood the beginnings of what was going on with Lily, and thought I knew that you were going to leave it there. So imagine my surprise (and delight) when you bring up this mysterious "him" that changes everything! That added the perfect second layer to the story, and complex stories blow two-dimensional ones out of the water every time. (I just compared layers to complexity to dimensions, but you get the picture.)

The ending completely caught me by surprise, not only because of its content, but because it came on so fast. Don't get me wrong, I loved it where it was, and you did transition into it. But I don't know, it still came on a little strong for me. I think I would have liked another short paragraph between the last and second to last ones. Then again, if you had done that, the last sentence might not have had its impact. So I'm split. Maybe I was just reading it so fast I had to do a double take. ;)

Either way, great start to a story, you can bet I'll be reading on.

Author's Response: I can't even tell you how much these reviews mean to me. Wow. Made my day/week/year! THank you so much for taking the time to leave such thoughtful reviews. You were definitely one of the first authors I looked up to when I joined, and getting these reviews has just blown me away ♥

I'm really glad you liked the prologue :D I love a sense of mystery in the first chapter so I tried to hint enough that you would be curious, and I'm glad that you were. Background is always fun to write, so I had to throw that in as well :D

I debated a lot about the ending, actually. I never actually meant for "him" to be such a secret, but people really loved that :P And that is a huge compliment! Wow. So in awe of that. I'm all about subplots in this particular story, so sque! :D

Yeah, and I did think a lot about the ending. I completely see where you're coming from with that. It is a bit quick, but I like shorter prologues so I wanted to end it quickly. It's worth a read through though, to see if I could soften that transition at all. Thank you again for this loveeely review :D You should have seen my face when I woke up to two lovely long review from you; I still haven't stopped smiling :P

-Naida


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Review #3, by LittleWelshGirl99 September 13th

18th July 2012:
Naida!! Whoo, so I've finally managed to review this chapter! I am an incredibly lazy person, so sorry about the massive intervals between reviews. I'M HEREE!

But anyway, this was such a great chapter! It seemed to flow much better than the previous few, though I'm not sure why. Lily and Hattie's friendship is really natural and relaistic, if that makes sense? It's not loads of hype and sarcasm and randomness like in so many humrous stories- it's really fresh, and so I really enjoyed reading the scenes iwth the two of them in.

The humour's definitely there- subtly, but surely! It's all building up plot-wise, and looking generally fabby.

This was a lovley chapter with a sparkly, polished feel to it. Can't wait for more!! ;D

xox
Annon

Author's Response: HI ANNON I LOVE YOU ♥

Ooh, flow is good :D I never really pay attention to my flow to be honest, so it's nice to know that I must have done something right :P I'm glad it's realistic. Most friendships aren't built on sarcasm and random comments, and I wanted to show that. You're so lovely for leaving me this *is very happy now* Thank you so much!

-Naida


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Review #4, by RosieQueen April 3rd, 2024

18th July 2012:
First off, this first chapter really caught my attention. It was a great prologue because it just keeps the reader wondering how Lily managed to get herself into this mess. I kept wondering about what had happened, and that's great because now I just feel the need to read the next chapter to find out what!

I also enjoyed the detail on Lily's dream to become a journalist and how her aunt and uncle got her a photo album and a camera, and how she'd spend her time writing captions underneath the photos. It's just those interesting details that make a story feel real. :)

It was great how you conveyed Lily's character so wonderfully in just one chapter. She's quite nosy, just like an aspiring journalist should be, a bit stubborn, and bookish. The characterization of her and her family was great too, and I liked reading about how her parents and brothers had reacted. It really helped me understand the situation and the characters better.

This is a really good start! Keep on writing! :D

~Ravenclaw~

Author's Response: OMG THIS REVIEW MADE ME SQUEE SO LOUD :D

I'm so so glad you liked it. I do like prologues with a bit of mystery, lol. Detail and backstory is definitely some of the most fun things for me to write, so I'm glad you enjoyed that! And her characterization is a major point for me in this; she is a lot like a journalist yes. Very stubborn (but don't tell her :P)

Thank you again! Made my day!

-Naida


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Review #5, by manno_malfoy September 7th

26th May 2012:
Nope! I haven't abandoned reading this story or got bored of it. Life was just getting in my way! But I'm here, and I'm reading, and I'm loving it!

Like you had said, finally, we're getting to see the plot start to pick up a pace and there are actual big events for us to ponder over. I really was trying, while reading the chapter, to pick up on any clues, so I can figure out anything, and that really excites me and makes me want to read more because I hate not knowing things.

Anyway, I shall stop gushing now and start writing sensible things. I should firstly point out that there's one newly introduced characteristic I LOVE about Lily! I love the fact that she's a Ravenclaw but doesn't like studying and finds that getting assignments during the first week of school is quite a burden. Because I honestly believe that smartness and wit is not all about how much you can score on a final but rather how you use your brain to develop yourself and move on forward and things like that. So I love how she believes, even if not confidently enough, that not being someone who's obsessed with studying does not make her any less of a Ravenclaw.

Oh, and how she's obsessed with chocolate! One must always admire a character that cares about getting their well-deserved daily dose of chocolate just as one must admire chocolate and its amazing-ness.

On to other things... like the mystery of the wrecked memorial. I believe I will side with Lysander and insist that it wasn't Lorcan. Although we haven't found out much about him yet, I've always had a soft spot for Luna's kids -almost like Lily does, and I just refuse to believe it was him. After listening -ahem, reading- to Lysander's side of the story, I'm thinking that maybe Lorcan's under a curse or something. Maybe someone broke the memorial and now they're trying to put the blame on him. But that's probably just my brain being overly supportive of the character.

Anyway, I will probably be reading the next chapter later on and will be gushing more. You are brilliant, and this is brilliant, and it wasn't Lorcan. It can't be Lorcan.

Keep on writing!

-Manno

Author's Response: HI HI HI. I feel like such a terrible person for taking so long to reply to this because it was so lovely and I felt so warm and fuzzy when I got it and I still DO ♥

YES HAI PLOT. Clues...been a while since I read this chapter but I don't think there's anything big in it. Ahhha, I'm glad it excites you :D

Oh please, feel free to continue gushing xD Though sensible things are always good too. YES. I'm so glad you liked that about Lily. One of my goals with this story is to break free of House stereotypes because people just don't fit into four neat and perfect bubbles. I'm a Ravenclaw through and through but I'm also the worst procrastinator :P SO YES. GIANT SMILE AT THAT. You're so right. AHha, new favorite person xD She is a total Ravenclaw, but not a stereotypical one.

I was craving chocolate when I wrote that scene so yeah...Lily likes her chocolate. Well, what girl doesn't? :P

Is it Lorcan? I don't know...it could be...I'm all about breaking house stereotypes, y'know...And maybe Luna's kids can be rebels. Hahahahaha, I really can't say anything on that. I really want to. I really want to tell you everything, but I won't :P

Thank you so so much! Suppose I should write the next chapter...hmm...SO MUCH TO DO. Thank you. Really. ♥

-Naida



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Review #6, by LittleWelshGirl99 September 7th

20th May 2012:
NAIDA NAIDA NAIDA HI! Sorry it's taken me so long! Also, excuse a potentially spazzy and unhelpful review as I'm drinking coffee.

Yum. I really love coffee. And chocolate. Honeydukes chocolate, like Lily 8D.

Wow, the memorial getting destroyed? What a great plot twist! I love seeing more of Lily's character in this (a 'Claw who hates studying? Interesting. Veerry interesting :D).

AND I LOVE SEEING THE NEWSPAPER GETTING PULLED TOGETHER. That camera sounded gorgey. I want it.

-steals camera and runs off into the sunset cackling-

Mwahaha.

I love the Scamanders too! There are SO many different ways you can portray the pair, but I like how you've done it. I can't wait to see the aftermath of all this!

Wonderful job :) Here's some of my coffee!! -gives coffee-

-Annon x

Author's Response: ANNON ANNON HI I LOVE YOU! And it's perfectly okay cause it took me equally as long to respond. I love spazzy reviews :D Chocolate is the best. Lily knows it too. *nods* YES LILY IS NOT A TYPICAL CLAW. I really wanted to do away with House stereotypes in this. Lily doesn't like studying. Lorcan will not be a pushover Hufflepuff :P Hahaha, you can have the camera because you left such an awesome review. YOU'RE SO AWESOME THANK YOU. ♥

-Naida


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Review #7, by LittleWelshGirl99 September 2nd

13th May 2012:
Okay, so I honestly wnated to cry when I read what lily had written about the memorial. It was so beautiful! Lily (or rather, you ;P) has such a talent!

The memorial itself sounds perfect- just the way I'd imagine one. It's surprising how fe next-gens include memorials in their descriptions of the Hogwarts grounds. It just makes so much sense for there to be one.

A SCHOOL NEWSPAPER> GENIUS. I tried to start one once, but no-one was very enthusiastic about it apart from me. I hope Lily has loads of success with it :). Oh and also, Professor Stan is just such a cool name.

Hehe.

I love this chapter, Naida! :3
-Annon x

(PS- I have that OCD thing about chapter lengths too. That, and dirty whiteboards...I just itch to clean them... )

Author's Response: ANNON HI! Sorry for taking so long to respond to you! Ahhh, that's a giant compliment. I dI didn't mean for it to be tht sad, but the words were coming nd then BAM :P Yeah, I always thought there would be a memorial. I mean, it just makes sense. After all Muggle wars, there are memorials built, so why not a Wizard war. I used to be part of a school newspaper! :P Lily will hopefully be successful in her attempts, though. And lol I literally just put something down for that name. I hate coming up with names xD You're the best and I'm glad I'm not alone! ♥

-Naida


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Review #8, by EverDiggory September 1st

11th May 2012:
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Brain--not--functioning.

Why? Why must you do this to me? Your stories just--they're so good that I can't even think straight.

Everything is brilliant--flow, characterization, dialogue, etc, etc.

I did laugh, and it was great.

I loved how subtle your transitions were--they were smooth and flowy:D

This read was amazing! I cannot wait to go read more!

xx

Ever

Author's Response: So so sorry for taking forever to respond to this! You made my day with how sweet this was, so THANK YOU! Ahhh, I so don't deserve all these compliments and thank you so much. I don't even know what to say. adhfsfahlg!! ♥

-Naida


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Review #9, by LittleWelshGirl99 September 1st

1st May 2012:
I've decided that I have too many favourite authors! I had to scroll down for about a year until I found your name :P

But that's very irrelevent.

I like getting to know Lily better in this chapter! If I'm honest, I think the person you've characterised the best in this story (after Lily) is Ginny! The absent minded way she talks about Percy's report on cauldron bottoms is so spot on and sweet :) Love it!

I also think the casual, fmaily banter was done really well and realistically. They all sort of tease each other, but underneath that I can see they're all really close. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy ^_^

I really like Hattie too! She reminds me of my friend :) And she seems quite gossipy- the perfect friend for a budding journalist.

Enjoyed every minute of it!
-Annon x

Author's Response: Hahaha, don't we all :P I'm honored to be one of your favorite authors though ♥ Not irrelevant at all :P

This is a more normal!Lily chapter. And thank you, that's so sweet! You know, I'm actually shocked at the amount of positive comments I've gotten on Ginny, considering I didn't like her much and didn't really think about her. But that means a lot!

I can't see the Potters being any other way. Along with the Weasleys, they're kind of an "ideal" family for me. The kind that everyone wants, that teases each other, but you can just feel the love :P Exactly what you said, basically.

Hattie! :D Ironically, she's based on one of my friends :P

Thank you so much! These reviews have completely made my week.

-Naida


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Review #10, by LittleWelshGirl99 April 3rd, 2024

1st May 2012:
Naida! I must now admit to a terrible thing...
---

---

I've already read this whole story! And haven't reviewed yet! *runs away and hides in shame* But it's only because I was too hooked to stop at the end of every page and review :P Then I suppose life and things got in the way until I...I'm finally here... -flails with pathetic excuses-

BUT. I really love this story. It's such a fresh take on Lily, and the whole of the next-gen humour genre. This first chapter is so brilliant! I was hooked from the word go (not that there was a word go at go...that's an odd expression...). I've always been a /bit/ of a gossiper, and I've been in a similiar situation to Lily...except with writing not journalism.

I love Lily's personality, and her cute little photo album and captions. It's nice looking at photos and thinking about the story behind it- I can completely relate :)

I will definitely be getting a review on the rest of the chapters tomorrow!

-Annon x

Author's Response: Annon! That isn't terrible at all! I can't tell you how happy I am that you read it, and it means even more to me that you came back to review! Ah, this is like the biggest compliment ever. I'm so happy right now. I'm going to dance and sing and shout to the world how lovely Annon is. Except then I mght get weird looks :P

I get so excited every time someone calls this fresh! Hooked? Really? I can ie happy now. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm a total gossiper too :P And Lily's interest in journalism spawns from my thoughts on how corrupt media is :P

I'm so glad you liked that! Especially that you could relate to it.

So you're like amazingly perfect and THANK YOU!!

-Naida


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Review #11, by Moonyxluna September 13th

1st May 2012:
Congrats on being made a TA!

I loved this chapter, so much setup. :) I read it the other day at work but I'm finally here to leave a proper review.

The humor is there. I know you said you've been worried about it but I was smiling through the whole chapter. I loved the bit about 'pitching to Incastra' about the calming draught killing someone. I was laughing for a while at that one :)

I have one small suggestion if you go back and edit; I think you should give names to the seventh year Gryffindor and third year Hufflepuff-- they showed up twice in this chapter and if they are going to be on the staff full time; I felt myself wondering what their names were when they were brought back into the conversation again. Just a suggestion though, feel free to ignore :)

I loved the little interaction with Lorcan! I really got a good sense of his realization of the slip up, along with Lily's ideas turning that there may be something more to the conversation.

Great work on this! I can't wait to read more♥

Author's Response: Thank you!

I'm so glad you liked the chapter. Honestly, your input means so much to me. Ahhha, THE HUMOR IS THERE. LET ME REJOICE. That's so exciting. I made someone laugh! :P I can die happy.

That's definitely a valid suggeston. In fact, I'm going to go do that right now (benefit of being a TA :D) So yeah, it was mostly me being lazy and not wanting to think of names. I'll do that in a sec.

Lorcan finally shows up xD I'm glad you liked that bit :D

Thanks again!

-Naida


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Review #12, by AC_rules September 13th

30th April 2012:
HEY NAIDA CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING A TA I'M SURE I ALREADY MENTIONED THAT BUT I'M SURE YOU CAN TAKE A SECOND CONGRATULATIONS OR A THIRD OR WHATEVER ELSE IT WAS.

Okay, you know you asked me for humour advice ages ago? This line has to be one of my favourite lines in the history of forever After all, thereís nothing much calmer than death. For the drinker, at least. So, don't you go saying those things again. Yeah?

This was such a lovely shiny chapter and I really enjoyed it, ahha. Lorcan seems a little bit fabulous. My gosh, my fever just came back waahhh I'm realy hot. Okay, well, this was a wonderful update and I lovedlovedlovedit:D

Update tomorrow?

-AC

Author's Response: HEY HELEN I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT BUT IS EXCITING AND I'M GOING TO SPEAK IN RUN ON SENTENCES AND IN ALL CAPS JUST LIKE YOU.

I still need humor advice. That line was like sort of kind of verging on the edge of funny but not really there. Yeah. So I'm going to keep asking. BUT IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT.

Ahha, I really hope you like Lorcan! He's fun to write :D NO FEEL BETTER ♥ Don't burn up on me. I NED YOU.

thankyouthankyouthankyou

I think tomorrow is a bit too soon, haha ;)

-Naida


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Review #13, by Aphoride September 13th

29th April 2012:
Ooh, this is so exciting! First off, though, I thought I'd say congratulations on getting made a TA! It must be such a good feeling, so well done!

This is just brilliant! I love how it's so compact - you're not wasting space or words by talking about random events which don't matter, you know (although I loved the Potions lesson, with Lily somehow making it perfectly! Haha, reminds me off Harry with the Prince's textbook, lol), and it makes it seem so much more like a documentary or like we're seeing what Lily wrote down - without it being a diary story, which is great.

Lily is brilliant. I love how you're introducing us to new sides of her and showing us her different traits without spelling them out or anything. She seems like a really good combination of Harry and Ginny - she's got Ginny's stubbornness, Harry's belief about things, Harry's curiosity... it's just perfect.

I'm going to admit, when I first read the prologue I wondered if 'he' was Scorpius... which terrified the Rose/Scorpius shipper in me, but it's Lorcan! I love the Scamander twins - there's not nearly enough out there about them. So far, he seems so interesting and caught up in something so much bigger than himself.

The plot is amazing. Seriously. I'm so invested in this now, so curious about where you're going to go with this (what happened to the memorial and all that jazz). I'm definitely going to keep reading this!

Keep going! :D
Aph xx

Author's Response: Okay, wow. I'm in shock right now. THANK YOU. Lovely long review and so many compliments and e I do't even know what to say.

I'm so so glad you like it. See, I can't bring myself to write all the other stuff. I don't know, I suppose I just like writing plot so everything else just goes out the window :P The potions lessons was fun, though :D Very fun. I got the idea from the HBP textbook, actually. Yes, it is supposed to be a bit of Lily's diary, in a way. Since she is a journalist.

Ee, comments on characterization are always the best. Because since I tend to be so plot focused, I kind of rely on the plot to reveal a character, and I never know if I've done it or not. It makes me so happy that you like her. Like omg. You don't even know.

No, I could never make this a Lily/Scorp story. Huge ScoRose fan here :P I love Luna too much to not write about her son in a next gen. They really do need more love.

This review is so amazing. I can't even tell you. I think I'm going to go finish chapter 6 now, because people like you make me want to keep writing! Gaahhh, thank you! So so much. :D

-Naida


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Review #14, by Lizzie September 7th

23rd April 2012:
Was it the imperius curse, maybe?

Author's Response: Hmmm, I don't know ;) You'll have to keep reading to find out :P Thanks for the review!

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Review #15, by Ravenclaw_Charm September 1st

22nd April 2012:
A fabulous chapter yet again.
I'll be honest: I thought I was going to kill myself after reading 3000+ worded chapter. But I just want to read more! Your writing is just so amusing and I laughed so much! :D I love how you characterized Lily. She's like her mother but a funnier - perhaps cooler? - version of her. (I don't like Ginny very much :P)
I enjoyed how all the Next-Gen kids were scattered through different Houses. Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of hearing about Gryffindors as main characters -.- Just make sure their personalities fit their House! (I think they do so far, so that's good :D)
I love Hattie and the way she and Lily became friends. I'd definitely be Hattie in that situation, haha ;) I also love "The Fake Weasley" - haha :)
I also enjoyed how you characterized the Potters. I think you kept them to cannon while making them quite humorous. (Harry kissing his daughter on her forehead to embarass her - classic!) The way Lily feels about her extended family was great to read, too. It was a new and interesting take on the Wotters. Also, the memorial! Can't wait to see what that is like!
Can't wait to read more! This story is just SO good! :D

Author's Response: Eeeep, thank you so much. You're honestly way too sweet. I try not to make my chapters too long, but Lily likes to talk :P She's a bit crazy, but don't tell her that. I do want Lily to embody some of Ginny's characteristics-her strength, but also her tendency to be overly dramatic. I'm glad you prefer her to Ginny though :P

Oh, I know. Not every NextGen can be a Gryffindor! I have my own little head canons for all of them, of course, but Lily has always been a 'Claw to me.

Yeah, I wanted the friendships to seem real. People do have nicknames and strange friendship stories. And gosh, that's like the biggest compliment ever. I fail at canon characters, really I do.

You're way way too sweet. Thank you so much!

-Naida


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Review #16, by Cassius Alcinder April 3rd, 2024

22nd April 2012:
Here from the review swap!

So first of all it looks like you have a pretty unique idea. Most next gen's I've read kind of blend together in my head because they're pretty much the same story, but this is definetely unique.

There was a good introduction to Lily's character, and we got a good look at her ambition and determination, as wll as insights into how she got onto her path. I wonder if the scandal is as big as she's making it out to be, or if she's just a bit over dramatic? I would have liked to see a little more information, maybe a couple hints as to what the scandal is, but I'm sure this will be revealed in time.

Overall it looks like you're off to a really good start.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for swapping :D

I freak out whenever someone says my idea is unique :P I'm so so glad. One of the reasons I don't read a lot of Next Gen is exactly what you said. They all blur together with the same plot and same ships and same characters.

Ohhh, she's very over dramatic ;) I'm hoping to reveal that later, so you can have a better idea of the size of the scandal. She's a bit paranoid as well, so that's why it seems a lot larger to her. I can definitely see how a little more information could be put in. Personally, I like to have a complete sense of mystery in the first chapter and then begin to drop hints as we go along. But yeah, I do see your point :)

Thank you so much!

-Naida


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Review #17, by Moonyxluna September 7th

21st April 2012:
I'm here finally! I've been seriously slacking on my favorites but I'm slowly getting all caught up. Just need to take a second-- this is my 350th review (: yay milestones!

Anyway, an actual review!

So the memorial is broken! I can't really say I didn't see it coming (obviously :p) but I liked how you brought it in as the first sentence of the chapter. It just hit home for the reader in a great way. I loved Lily through the 'finding out'-- you had her grimacing at the prophet as she read it-- every time through the chapter the prophet was mentioned I liked how you had it in italics as if she was truly annoyed by it merely existing. I also liked how you had her character react to the situation. Instead of freaking out, she was sort of numb to the things going on around her. It clearly hit close to home for her being the kid of Harry Potter, and her 'realization' was very well written.

And hey, if it involved talking to extremely fit Quidditch blokes with their shirts off? That was just a bonus. -- I loved this line. Loved it. Just another reason I wish Hogwarts was real-- Quidditch boys ;)

I loved all of her excitement getting to do her 'first interview'! I'm wondering if you'll have her end up printing the article even if the whole school doesn't believe it. She seems like she is really caught in the middle here (which is expected if she's just finding out from Lysander now) so I'm wondering if/how her feelings will be swayed.

Fantastic work! This chapter was a great introduction to the plot, and I'm looking forward to seeing how things progress from here.

Author's Response: YAAAY YOU'RE HERE :D You don't even know how much your reviews mean to me ♥ I look forward to every one of them :P And yay for the 350th review! :D Makes me feel special.

Haha, I'm so glad you liked that. The format of this is one of my favorite parts, just because I can introuduce everything so quickly. The Prophet being in italics is actually canon-that's how it's written in the books-but hey, it can have two purposes :D I feel like if she wants to be a journalist, she can't freak out about anything. She has to be calm and professional, y'know? :P I actually didn't even think of it being Harry's trait, but you're totally rght. YAY.

Ohh, I couldn't not mention Quidditch boys. It's just part of Hogwarts ;)

And that is coming up in the next chapter which is ALREADY WRITTEN :D I'm so proud of myself :P It'll be out in about a week. Yeah, she is caught in the middle a bit. Lorcan will definitely start to sway her ;)

Thank you so much for this review! I look forward to your reviews for every chapter. They keep me writing ;)

-Naida


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Review #18, by Ravenclaw_Charm April 3rd, 2024

21st April 2012:
I really enjoyed reading this! The way you introduced us to Lily's situation and her Next-Gen world was great; it was short but extremely informative. I really can't wait to hear what had actually happened and who this mystery guy is! There's nothing wrong with this chapter. Keep it as is, please :) It seems like the beginning of an amazing fic :D Good job!

Author's Response: Eeek, thank you so much! :D I'm a big fan of shorter first chapters, since wading through a 5000 word first chapter tends to turn me away from a story. I definitely wanted it to be informative though. Yeah, and setting up a sense of mystery is always fun for a first chapter :P I'm really glad you think there's nothing wrong with it! This review was super sweet. You totally made my day!

-Naida


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Review #19, by AC_rules September 7th

19th April 2012:
HOMG WE KNOW WHO HE IS THATS A WILD TURN UP FOR THE BOOKS.

He's been framed. He's so been framed. Like waay framed. Well, this is exciting, I thought the memorial was just a sort of thing rather than being like a really important plotty point, who knew Naida? You knew. That was clever of you. Smarty pants. Claw to the core (that rhymes and I loves it, it's so amawefansudible).

ANYWAY. I loves everything and I'm excited about all things. I should be doing revision but I feel like that doesn't really matter in life, right? Cept my Mum's threatening to cut off the internet on a mostly permanent basis but we won't talk about that, right?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENED. But anyway, lovely update (and fast too, your rascal) so... keeep it up woman :D

AC

Author's Response: YES YES YES WE KNOW WHO HE IS.

Oh, but has he been framed? Hmmm? I don't know about that. Nope. He did admit to it after all. Why would he admit to it if he had been framed?

And yes, the memorial is the basis of the plot :P Always thinking. And dude, that's my new favorite expression. Claw to the core. Word.

I'm sorry, I've been having trouble with articulating myself all day. I ended up crying into a friend's shoulder halfway through the day because I couldn't speak. No joke. Ignore the randomness of this response ♥

I also just said word. That was weird.

You're amawefansudible. I love how I see that and think of it as an actual word now, like in the dictionary and everything. I can even spell it now :D

I IS EXCITED TO :D I've already started chapter 5 because my muse has decided to work overtime, so quick update? Maybe? Nahh, everytime I say that, it takes several months.

Crap. So Maybe I jinx it by saying quick update? So I should say slow update.

THIS WILL BE THE SLOWEST UPDATE EVER.

Noo, but isn't that a jinx too? Like a reverse pyschology jinx? AHh, I can't do anything right!

And I should be doing my history homework but hey, history is dumb. It happened in the fast. Let's fugghetabouit.

Omg never read this response. I'm ashamed of what I'm writing.

AND IF YOU EVER LOSE INTERNET I WILL CRY.

A LOT.

I REALLY DON'T NOW WHAT'S HAPPENING EITHER BUT YOU'RE AMAWEFANSUDIBLE AND I LOVE YOU AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.

...

I think I should really just get some sleep.

I leave you with a heart



And my name.

Because that's what I do.

-Naida


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Review #20, by Moonyxluna September 2nd

10th April 2012:
Such a wonderful chapter! I can't believe I didn't notice this until now. I really like the change into lily's perspective.

I loved your description of the memorial. When she was reading the inscription from george, I felt her sadness. I wasn't just reading about lily being sad; I felt that pang of emotion that she felt watching her uncle fly away from the school.

And yay for the paper getting started! Brilliant work on this, I really love how it is progressing so far. I can't wait to read more :) And still looking forward to meeting 'him' :)

if anything sounds weird I'm on my iPod and the autocorrect got me!

Author's Response: Ohh, the horrors of ipod autocorrect. You seem to be good, though.

Anyways, I just freaked out a little bit because you're being so awesomely loyal to me and all that (don't worry about not seeing it-it got lost in the 0 hour queue :P)

The memorial description was so fun to write. Insanely fun. Even though it was depressing. But wowww, huge compliment! I'm in awe. Thank you! :D

You're really too nice. Huge thank you! ♥

-Naida


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Review #21, by AC_rules September 2nd

4th April 2012:
So you pretty much broke my face.

I know that makes no sense, but oh Naida, here I was thinking I'd take a cheery trip in your direction whilst pretending to revise and then you hit me with this great big pile of SAD (awesomely done, btw, the bit that Lily 'wrote' gave me goose pimples) and then I'm here like NO NOOOTTT FREEED and, well, you didn't give me due warning.

And also, it was in first person and I wasn't expecting it. You're good at it though, really you are. Have you written it before? I'm trying to remember... I know you mostly write third person but Im still a little unsure about this.

So we didn't meet him.

But I love Lily and Hattie and Lily's /plan/. You're making me want to start a school newspaper. The closest I ever got was writing this thing and sticking it to the vending machine anonymously, although it was a big hit.


AHaoijdoajdoiajfojijoas. So, this was great and the fact that this chapter has zero reviews (or at least, it did when i started reading) is nothing sure of a crime. HPffers should be ARRESTED. well, no, that's a lie.

They should all be hugged.

Have a hug, Naida.

And a review.

(and this seems like an eloquent place to end).

AC

Author's Response: Hi there lovely! ♥

I'm very sorry. I just can't seem to get the hang of this whole humor thing. This chapter was more like-TO HELL WITH HUMOR. LILY NEEDS TO SHOW OFF. But yeaahhh, I'll try and be happier next time. Except there's still a lot of sadness. UGH I HAVE YOUR PROBLEM. I CANT HAVE MY CHARACTERS BE HAPPY. But I'm insanely glad you liked Lily's part. She'd be very happy.

The first person was a stupid spur of the moment thing on my part. Lily was just talking to me and it was working and I could hear her thoughts and it just felt right to be inside her head! I have written it before, but you're right, I prefer third person. But this is a story of new and exciting things! (aka, Naida failing at trying to step out of her comfort zone)

And no. We don't meet him :( There was also a serious lack of Ben in this chapter (I really need to get over him because he's not a major character in this!) which makes me sad. I love Ben. For many reasons. I'm already planning a Ben sequel novella thing. OKAY SHUT UP AND STAY ON TOPIC, NAIDA.

Ohh, I knew the school newspaper thing from the start :D I was part of one when I was, what, 10? Something like that. It was a long time ago. And the articles were all weird stuff like "10 people like apples and fifteen like bananas!" Lily's will be much better. And I'm totally stealing that vending machine idea. Except there are no vending machines in Hogwarts. Ermmm...I'll find a subsitiute.

WELL, I think it got lost in the mass updating chapters bonanza spree thing, since I updated this when the queue was 0 hours. So I'm not too fussed :P They should all be hugged.

(Though the fact that Lily was nominated for SOTM just makes everything perfect. I love Ravenclaws. They make my heart happy and my ego go through the wall. Seriously, QTR comments are just one massive LOVE FEST)

But again, getting off topic. I really suck at answering reviews.

But have a hug yourself. Or two.

-Naida


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Review #22, by manno_malfoy April 3rd, 2024

31st March 2012:
Okay, so I remember a few months back when I told you on the forums that I'll be going through your stories. I've only started now, but I'm very happy I finally did!

This first chapter has me very intrigued as to what will happen next. You had Lily think about so many things, yet we didn't get to know what that big scandal is! I was really hoping there'd at least be a clue, but there wasn't. Although I'll probably be going to the next chapter after I finish writing this review, I'm sitting here wondering if I'm going to find out the scandal in the next chapter and if the events will continue from the point they had stopped at here; or if you're going to have us go back in time and have Lily trace out her involvement in this predicament from the very beginning.

I love the idea of the album and the captions, as it does seem as a thing a want-to-be journalist would do for fun. It makes the whole journalist thing reasonable and characteristic.

Though you didn't have Lily interact directly with any characters in this chapter, as all this was in her head, you were still able to show us a bit of her personality without being overbearing with self-introductions. We can tell how much she cares about what her family thinks of her, how dedicated she is to the things she loves, how she always tries her best to not disappoint. I really like all of that!

I also must congratulate you for deciding to write a story that is humor! I could never take such a step myself.

Anyway, I'm going to read on! But marvelous job! I'm enjoying myself so far!

-Manno

Author's Response: Um, wow, thank you so so much for this review. I'm flattered right now. Gahh, you people are all too good to me!

Lily+Self Pity+Drama=MYSTERY. At least, that's what I did in my head :P She really is quite pathetic in this chapter, to be honest. She's a bit of a drama queen. Hmm...now I'm trying to think if there is a clue or not...Well, there isn't in this chapter, but there is one in the next chapter. Promise. The events will go back to the very beginning after this. How it all started.

Yeah, I definitely wanted her to get an early start on the whole journalism thing. She's very stubborn, so I figured it would be good to have her know what she ws doing from an early age.

I was originally going to have the second chapter of this be the first, but I was talking to some other people who told me of the horrors of too much introduction in the first chapter, so I switched to this. I'm glad her personality came though though. Yes, she does care a lot about what other people think.

Once again, MAJOR thank you for the review! It was such a lovely surprise. You're like, my new favorite person for taking the time to leave such an amazing review!

-Naida


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Review #23, by Aphoride April 3rd, 2024

31st March 2012:
Firstly, I just want to say that you have no reason to be nervous about this at all - it's really, really good! I'm absolutely hooked on the plot, for starters. It seems so unique - using journalism as the main character's dream for the future, using Lily Potter II as the main character, the idea of her getting involved in this huge scandal that shocks the Ministry and the whole wizarding world... wow. I'm so curious to how this happens, what happens, that I almost can't wait to read on.

Lily's character is so interesting... although, since it's just her kinda going over the results of what's happened, there's not any interaction with other characters it's a bit hard to grasp too much of her personality, she seems pretty confident, stubborn and so brave (with the whole 'I wouldn't have had it any other way' thing) but also compassionate. She's aware of others and that what she does effects them, which is lovely to see. Her confidence is outstanding and is so like the confidence JKR gave Ginny it's unreal. In short, I love her characterisation.

I really, really want to read more of this - I'll have to start making a HPFF reading list or something, I think, lol - because it's just so intriguing and fascinating... :D

Aph xx

Author's Response: Gaahhh, thank you so much. I really hope the plot is unique. Half the Next Gens seem to be about the same thing these days, and well, I wanted this to stand out a bit. The journlism bit comes becuse Lily is a reflection of me in a lot of ways, and I'm sort of using this story to make fun of everything wrong with media. The scandal is fun :D Well, not for Lily, but she is a bit of a drama queen.

Yeah, not a whole lot of interaction yet, but you've summed up her character well. VERY stubborn, but also confident and hopefully compassionate. Her confidence and stubborness is going to come into play a lot in this, so I'm really glad they came though. Eeek, thanks so much. It means a lot!

Thank you so so much for the review! :D One of the best reviews I've ever received, thank you ♥

-Naida


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Review #24, by slytherinchica08 April 3rd, 2024

27th March 2012:
I really like your first chapter! It really starts off by giving us this huge mystery about what happened to her that caused her this great embarrassment and really keeps us interested to try and find out what happened and then who is this boy that she mentions! It was wonderful and very enjoyable. I loved your characterization of her so far as well she seems like a very strong character, already knowing what it is she wants to do with her life and being able to pursue it so much. Even the strongest characters have their moments of weakness. Also I loved your description in this chapter as well! You did a great job with your story and I'm really interested to see where it goes from here! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I have to have mystery in a first chapter. I can't tell you the story straight up :P That would be no fun. (I really should have just put the ship in the summary. So many questions about HIM! :P) She is relatively strong, though I'd describe her more as stubborn. Very stubborn. Thank you for the lovely review!

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Review #25, by Snapdragons September 1st

26th March 2012:
Poor hungry grey box. :( I shall do my best to ease its hunger.

I like Lily lots and lots! ♥ And I love the depiction of the Potter and Weasley families. It just seems so... natural, if that makes sense. I liked it. Sometimes they feel weird in other stories but I was reading this and it sort of reminded me of my own sort of nutty family and yes I liked it PHEW.

Also on the topic of realistic stuff I liked: Hogwarts and her friends and all that! -shifty eyes- Normally train rides seem to be filled with professions of love etc and personally, I think Quidditch is a worthier pursuit/better conversation (I'm such a romantic) but it just felt like a lovely first day back at school. Once again, my compliments are coming out sort of funny (what else is new) but I enjoyed your Hogwarts - and thank you for putting Peeves in! PEEVES! Poor Peeves is not very loved in fanfic and it makes me sad. :( Because he's funny. Tears.

And yes, I found it funny! She's a funny girl, that Lily. ♥ I'm still not sure of who HE is (definitely deserving of caps) and this makes me quite anxious to read some more, so I guess you'll just have to post a new chapter soon. -whistles- lovely job! :)

Author's Response: Hannah! I'm so glad to see you back :D

I'm really glad you like Lily. The Potter and Weasley families were actually pretty difficult for me to write, as all my extended family is still back in India, so it's nice to hear that came across well :) It's always nice to hear that it feels natural!

See, and I didn't even /think/ of having the train ride be anything other than Quidditch and the Memorial :P The one thing that's good about me not having read a lot of Next Gen is that I'm very unfamiliar with how the stories typically go, and I think that if you've seen a general pattern, it's very hard to break out of that. You do it almost subconsciously :P PEEVES SHOULD BE MORE LOVED. I'm tempted to write a Peeves-centric fic now. Oh dang, GO AWAY PLOT BUNNIES.

HE will be there next chapter! (I think. Don't come after me with pitchforks if he isn't :P)

Thank you again for this lovely review!

-Naida


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