11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 The Caustic Ticking of the Clock

28th May 2012:
Wow... Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw... That was definitely unexpected!!
I don't necessarily like the idea of them being a couple; I can't really see it happening.
But you made it work, and quite vividly, too!
Bravo for an extremely well-written story!

Author's Response: It is a bit of a random pairing, lol. A bit like Katie/Leanne (I've written about them, too, and you can find the story -- Flicker and Fail -- on my author page, if you're interested; if you do read it, I would love a review). I wouldn't have expected you to like the idea of them as a couple, though I hope I've changed your mind now.

Thanks for the review :)

~Soraya~


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Review #2, by adluvshp The Caustic Ticking of the Clock

15th May 2012:
Hey!

Okay so this is the first time I am reading a Female slash story. I have never before, as the idea never really appealed to me, but I have decided to open myself and read this. I have to say, I don't regret it.

You have done a good job with this. I love the way the emotions in Rowena's thoughts play out. Your characters and plot are well-developed for a one-shot. The second-person narrative confuses me in a lot stories, but yours didn't. It was written very well.

Good work! 10/10

Cheers!
AD

~Recenseo~

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, thank you so much! I got into SSP about a year ago, and I think the relationship dynamics, while largely the same as het ships, can also be very interesting when it's SSP. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and that second person didn't confuse you.

Thank you for your review!

~Soraya~


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Review #3, by SunshineDaisies The Caustic Ticking of the Clock

11th April 2012:
Well, I'm certainly not going to tear this apart! It was absolutely stunning. I enjoyed it very much.

I'm afraid I'm not going to be very much help, I've not read much of the Founders, but as a history buff, I'd say it all worked very well. I think the setting was unintentionally much later than the eleventh century, but as you didn't go into great detail about the setting, I don't think it affects it terribly.

Normally I would actually recommend going into more detail, but but this is actually perfect. Any more detail would take away from the emotion, which is the real subject of the story here.

Okay, I really have no criticism. I'm sorry. This is just fantastic.

Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this -- the reception it's received has been overwhelmingly good, and I'm really pleased with it.

Hahahaha, I am completely inexperienced with historical, hence the setting and all. It's good to know that that didn't affect the story too much.

Thank you so much for your review, and for your kind words :)

~Soraya~


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Review #4, by javct The Caustic Ticking of the Clock

9th April 2012:
javct45 here with your requested review!

I adored this! Rowena&Helga is a ship that I haven't heard of before (I've heard of every other founders ship - literally - but never Rowena&Helga) this didn't stop me from liking your story :) In fact, I rather enjoyed the ship. After I finish reviewing this I may search up some Helga&Rowena :)

This is your first time writing a Founder story? I don't believe it; for a first time writing a certain era this is really good :) I can't really comment on the dialogue (because the way they spoke back then was very different) but from what's there it's good :)

You did a great job at writing in second-person, I've read quite a few stories in second person lately (and I've just out a second POV story into the que) and I'm really enjoying it :) The way you wrote it was excellent!

I picked up a few grammatical errors but nothing that detracted from the story :)

All in all, great story!
Jas

Author's Response: Hiya!

I'm so glad you liked this. Yes, I practically invented this ship, lol (along with Katie/Leanne and Louis Weasley/Lily Luna -- though I do know the latter could be squicky and isn't allowed on HPFF anyway) so it's nice to know you liked it despite the pairing being a bit random.

My beta and one of my friends who modded this story on MNFF had to help with timeline errors, I'll admit, so it wasn't all me, hehehe. And there wasn't exactly any dialogue in here, except for a very select few words. If I may be so bold, I think the story works better with little dialogue, as it's more of an introspective piece, really.

Yay, you liked the POV too! Second person is very subjective, so it's nice to know you liked that too.

Thanks for the review!

~Soraya~


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Review #5, by WeepingWillows The Caustic Ticking of the Clock

2nd April 2012:
Hi there! :) I typically don't read too much founders, but I found this very interesting to read! Here is what I overall thought.

Characterization: I liked the way you wrote Helga and the way you wrote her made us as readers really experience what she was going through with Rowena.

Descriptions: When it comes to the descriptions I think that there could have been more. You described the emotions of the characters really well, but there were other things that could have been described more to get the reader more involved and interested in the story.

It was very good though and I enjoyed reading this! It was different from what I normally read so I had to open my mind to this. I generally don't read female-slash too often so this was also very different. Good job :)

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you enjoyed the story, so thank you for the review :)

I'm pleased you liked Helga's and Rowena's characterisations. There isn't much we know about their personalities from canon (except for the obvious -- Helga being loyal, Rowena being intelligent, etc) so it's nice to know that I still characterised them okay.

Yes, I think that description-wise, it was a bit on the skinny side. I will definitely bear that in mind for next time, if I ever decide to write a piece like that again ;)

I'm really happy you liked it! Thanks for the review :)

~Soraya~


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Review #6, by Roots in Water The Caustic Ticking of the Clock

1st April 2012:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

This is an interesting idea and I think that you executed it well. This far in the past it's very safe to assume that they weren't welcoming of people of Helga's leanings and you showed this by having them keep their relationship hidden. It was interesting, though, that they themselves weren't a little more reluctant to start their relationship, growing up in the time period that they did, but I suppose that their reluctance would have posed a large problem in your story. :)

The style in which you wrote this leant well to the transfer of emotions and it didn't come across as awkward at all. The second person makes the depth of her emotions very apparent and the present tense gives the story a sense of urgency, which suits the mood of the story very well.

As for your characterization, I think that you wrote Rowena very in character. She's wise and very aware of her surroundings and expectations. However, I was a little confused about some of Helga's actions. She's reknowned for being kind and accepting of all, so I doubt that she would openly complain about a student. Feel frustrated, yes, but not express those feelings. As well, though I understand that she would be feeling depressed at the ending of her relationship with Rowena, I also feel that she would be trying to be optimistic about Rowena's future, if not hers. I think that she would be trying to raise her thoughts by thinking that her fiance is a good man, a person that will treat her well. I don't think that she would be quite so bitter.

However, I think that you did a good job with your description and if the clock wasn't supposed to be there it didn't feel like it. :)

All in all I think that you pulled off an unusual idea very well. Thanks for requesting a review and I hope that my comments are helpful!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for your review :)

I've had this idea for quite a while, so I think it was interesting to see how it turned out. I'm glad you seemed to have liked it :) Yes, I think society would have definitely not approved of their relationship back then, so yeah.

I'm so pleased that the POV and tense choices worked. I was really worried that it would seem kind of cloying, so it's great to hear that it wasn't.

And I think I understand Rowena more than Helga. (Probably because I'm such a Claw myself, lol.) I understand what you're saying about the complaining about a student, but I think no one's perfect, and no one can be *that* kind that they wouldn't ever complain about someone. And Helga would be bitter about Rowena's future because she's jealous that someone else is with her and not Helga. I think love does strange things to one's character, hence why I characterised them that way.

I hope that didn't come across as defensive, lol. You've raised some valid points, and I'm basically just making excuses, hehehe. I am really happy you liked this, so thank you for reviewing :)


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Review #7, by Deltaris The Caustic Ticking of the Clock

28th March 2012:
Wow. This is absolutely so different from anything that you've ever written before. To start with, I commend you on the use of second person. It's a hard tense to use and be comfortable with, and I feel like it was perfect for this piece.

I love this. It's so great to see you move away from the way you write your other pieces, and have it turn out so beautifully.

I really don't know what to say, heh. The pace and flow are perfect. You focus so wholly on Helga's love for Rowena that the characters are not developed as they would be in any other story, but are still just as real. Your descriptions are perfect, so wonderful. The use of action instead of speech to tell the story is superb.

Del<3
(Oh, and I never did get around to finishing Checkmate. I left the archives and forums before you'd finished posting it. I'll probably have to reread it just to refresh my memory, but I will get back around to it eventually. Promise! And I missed reading & reviewing your work :D)

Author's Response: Hi :)

Thanks so much. I am really, really surprised, as well as overwhelmed, with the lovely reception this fic's got so far, so I'm ever so glad that you enjoyed it.

Second person was the only POV I could write this in. First person would be too introspective, and third would be too detached (and with the way I didn't use names until towards the end, that would have been a nightmare!), so second was the natural choice, I think. I'm really pleased it *seems* to have worked, though -- I was rather worried about it to begin with :)

This is definitely very different from my usual style, especially with the lack of any real dialogue. And it's nice to know the pace/flow was good because that was definitely something I was concerned about.

I see what you mean about the characters not being as developed as in my other stories. I think it's because I didn't use any dialogue, but I'm pleased you didn't seem to mind much nevertheless.

Thanks so much for the review! And, by the way, you don't have to read Checkmate if you don't want to -- it's definitely not my best work or anything, and looking back on it more than a year later, I don't like it half as much as I did at the time, lol. Anyway, thank you lotsly, and if you ever need anything betaing that's not chaptered, do shoot me a PM :)

~Soraya~


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Review #8, by ScorpiusRose17 The Caustic Ticking of the Clock

28th March 2012:
Hi there!

First of all I just want to say that I am completely amazed. I haven't read a lot of Founders Era stories or One-shots, but this totally took my breath away. You have such a wonderful way about approaching a subject that most stay away from and I think you did a sublime job doing it.

I felt like I was sitting right next to Helga as she watched Rowena and the man dance along with all of the others. It felt so real and vivid with the way the you described it. I thought that you characterized Helga well. She was someone who seemed to blend in, but managed to be seen because of who she was. Rowena was just as well described. Intelligent and beautiful, yet with intelligence comes the let down of your mind to over rule your heart. It's a constant struggle.

The flow was smooth, pace was great, and I didn't see any typos, spelling errors or oddly worded sentences or misused words.

Overall, you hit a homerun with this story. I have never read something so beautifully written. It was almost like you were an artist painting a masterpiece and you let your paint brush do all the speaking for you. It was simply one of the BEST one-shots I've ever had the opportunity to read.

Keep up the great work!! =)

Thank you so much for sharing it with me and I hope if you ever need someone to read and review more of your stories you'll re-request.

-SR17

I am definitely going to favorite this story.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much :) I really am blushing now, lol.

This was a territory that I hadn't gone anywhere near before now, so I was really pleased with the reception it's got so far, both on HPFF and on MNFF.

I'm glad you liked Helga's characterisation. She's a difficult character, imo, and I wasn't sure I got her voice right, hence why I ended up using second person. (Third person would have made it very confusing -- writing third person SSP is difficult enough as it is without avoiding names like I did here.)

And I love Rowena. On MNFF, I was sorted as a Ravenclaw, and I think that kind of made me like her more, so I'm glad you liked the characterisation there too.

It's nice to know there weren't any typos or anything -- I only had one beta for this, and I just gave it a final once-over before submitting, so yeah.

I'm just really chuffed with how much you liked it :) It can't possibly be one of the best one-shots you've ever read, but I'm so flattered that you thought so anyway (I'm very bad at taking compliments, lol) that I'll just say thank you.

Do wander over to my author page if you want to read more of my stuff. You don't have to leave a review or anything, though I'd be tickled pink if you did. Also -- I have a Louis/Lily one-shot planned (yes, Louis Weasley and Lily Luna Potter, which is a potentially squicky pairing and probably not to your taste, and it's not even allowed on HPFF, so if you don't like that sort of thing, no worries) and it's almost completely finished. If, by some amazing miracle, you like/don't mind the pairing, do go over to MNFF and read it when it's up :)

Anyway, thank you so much for the praise, and the review, and, of course, the favouriting :D Until we meet again!

~Soraya~


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Review #9, by NeverKnew The Caustic Ticking of the Clock

9th March 2012:
Genius. It's enticing, and beautifully written.

Author's Response: Oh wow, thank you so much :) I'm blushing, I really am. I'm so glad you found it enticing and beautifully written -- this story gave me a lot of grief, so it's lovely to know you enjoyed it.

Thank you very much for the review, and I hope to see more reviews from you soon! (Pssst, I have another femmeslash up if you want -- Flicker and Fail. It's Katie/Leanne, only three chapters long, though at the moment, chapter one has been posted, and I'd love to know what you think of it. /shameless self-promotion :P)

Thanks again

~Soraya~


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Review #10, by DracoFerret11 The Caustic Ticking of the Clock

5th March 2012:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums, here with your review.

Well...I think you have something very interesting here. I know that not many people read or write Founders, so I don't have too much experience with it, but I'll be honest in terms of what I saw:

Characterization: I liked the way you showed Helga's indecision. Her emotions were very believable and I liked how realistic she was. I definitely felt bad for her when she had to give up her relationship with Rowena.

Descriptions: the story was lacking a little bit here. I felt like I didn't really get "into" the story, if you know what I mean. I couldn't connect with the setting because I didn't hear too much about it. The emotions were pretty well-described, and Rowena at the beginning, but other than that, there wasn't too much.

Plot: I thought this was a sweet story. I felt really bad for Helga, but I understood why it ended the way it did. The part that I liked the best was when Helga DIDN'T tell Rowena that she loved her. She put Rowena's happiness in front of hers and to me, that showed she really did love her.

Overall, I think you did a great job. This was well-written. I know Founders is a hard era to deal with (I've only tried it once myself), but you did a good job. Don't be discouraged if this doesn't get many reads. I think you did great. :]

Keep up the good work!

--Emily

Author's Response: Thank you for your review :) Yes, I know what you mean -- Founders isn't an era most people like, so I'm not too surprised at the lack of reception, tbh.

I'm glad you liked the characterisation -- that's something I was really on the fence about because I've never written about Helga or Rowena before, so that's a first :)

I know what you mean about description. Perhaps I might describe the setting more in the next thing I write. Thanks for that -- will definitely bear that in mind.

I'm so happy you liked it -- and that was definitely what I was trying to put across. I'm really glad you enjoyed this story, and thank you for a lovely review.

~Soraya~


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Review #11, by Timechild The Caustic Ticking of the Clock

5th March 2012:
Interesting fic.

Emotions done well for Rowena. The detail was also nicely done.

Overall - Good Job

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review :) I'm glad you liked the emotions, and the detail, but most of all, I'm pleased you liked it.

~Soraya~


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