This is just SO sad, but also so cute! I loved seeing Dobby's perspective here, the way he kept checking to make sure Harry was okay... the way he watched to make sure Harry enjoyed his meal, it was all just too perfect and I can imagine Dobby really doing that in the series! I think the first part of the chapter really gave us some good insights into just how much Dobby was willing to do for Harry, whether it was making a simple meal or risking his life and loyally returning to a place he loathed to save Harry. Everything flowed really well and there were no spelling mistakes, it was truly a great read (although with a sad ending)! Great job dear, 10/10!! Report Review
Aww. It's so sad when dobby dies. When I read the deathly hollows, it made me cry. I think when the knife hits dobby, you should have his last thoughts. And also, during the day, maybe foreshadow a bit to add suspense. But even though i did have suggestions and room for improvement, I really liked it Report Review
Please do forgive me for taking ages to get this review across. I keep forgetting about the challenge :( Life just keep getting hectic and hectic-er. Better late than never, though, right?
'His first thought was to go and see the one that he worshipped, the one that had helped him a year ago.'
Best quote ever! The quote is so true and so adorable.
Your characterisation is spot on, Dobby would worship Harry Potter in every living day of his life and he seems to be very happy working at Hogwarts.
I really like the way your words aren't too complex, and it is as if I'm reading it from a POV of another elf (so sorry if this offend you in any way, but I meant it in a very very good way.) or at least Dobby-like POV. Its just basic simple words that an elf would use and its just...perfect!
Its really nice to see someone step-up and write something about a daily life of an elf and make it so imaginative and realistic at the same time. I mean, seriously?! It can't get any better than this!
Reading the story was quite a challenge for me because it was about Dobby. I love Dobby so dearly that I literally cry everytime I read about him and it happened while I was reading yours too, but don't be sorry! The story was sooo worth it. :D
CloakAuror9 xxAuthor's Response: Hello there
You are hereby forgiven for forgetting about this review. But the main thing is your here now LOL:D
I never thought of that as a quote, but thank you I can see where your coming from with that comment.
I to loved Dobby, Next to the trio, I thought he was one of the best characters that JK had come up with. I suppose he held that certain charm whereas he was accident prone but you couldn't help loving him.
And I'm not offended in any way with the way that you see the pov from. After all that is what a story is all about. The way I see a story as it unfolds in my mind is totally different to the way you see it unfold. That's the joy of books. You escape into a different world altogether.
I've never seen a story that really went indepth with Dobby and the behind the scenes look at his life at Hogwarts, that is the reason why I came up with this idea. I had originally planned to call this A DAY IN THE LIFE OF AN HOUSE ELF but decided that Ultimate Devotion would be better, and have more of an impact on the story itself.
As to the pov, I suppose that was really the idea of the story. If you and I were to read the same book, we'd both see the story from different sides. So don't worry, you didn't offend me with that comment.
I also cried when Dobby was killed off. I was like NO NOT DOBBY. So I know how you feel.
Thanks for the read and review.
magicmuggle01 Report Review
A day in the life of an Elf. Something we don't see that often. I always wondered, if Dobby was free and working, why we didn't see more of him? It's nice that we do here. Now I'm hungry again!Author's Response: So glad you enjoyed this. It was something that I just thought up one day.
Thank you for reading and leaving a review. Report Review
I love Dobby, and I'm so happy to find this story about him. I really love how you described the busy life of house elf in Hogwarts. It's so cute to imagine little elves sleeping :D :D :D Then it went to the busy time at the kitchen which is wonderfully written. I can hear the clattering of plates, forks, knives, etc and the roaring fire as I read along. I can also smell the savory delicious smell of the warm porridge, and the rich and crispy delicious smell of the eggs and bacon... (o boy, my mouth is watery now).
Then, I also like how you shows Dobby's way of watching over Harry through simple things like covering Harry with blanket. It's simple but came out really strong and really shows that Dobby will always be there for Harry.
For the second half of the story, I have to say that it didn't came out as strong as the first half. I think you could add a little bit more emotion in there. Like in the malfoy mannor, maybe you could add something that can make the reader feel more about how dobby's feeling at that moment... his worries/confusion/anxiety...
and at the ending, I was actually hoping that you would write what Dobby experienced during the last few minutes of his life. It was a really emotional scene in the original J.K. Rowling version; but it wasn't from Dobby's point of view. So I think it would be really intersting if you added what he felt and thought during that last moment of his. Given your writing ability, I think you could pulled it off really well.
All in all, I really enjoy reading this story.
Cheers for Dobby!
HufflepuffAuthor's Response: Firstly, thank you Gray Raven for reading and leaving a few comments.
I was overjoyed that you enjoyed this story, when people leave wonderful words like you've left makes writing very rewarding and satisfying.
I can see where your coming from where the final moments for Dobby is concerned, I could put more emotion in there, I'll work on that.
Thanks again for your encouraging review.
Hufflepuff. Report Review
This deserves way more than a 10/10! I don't think there are enough tributes to Dobby. My sister and I freaked out when Dobby died in the series like "How could J.K. Rowling do such a thing?" This was great! I pictured Dobby in his sweatshirt and shorts with his big eyes and I was like awww! My friends think Dobby is ugly but I think he's adorable. But that's unrelated to the topic. This was a great story and I think you portrayed Dobby perfectly.Author's Response: Wow many many wonderful thanks.
I thought that Dobby was one of the best none human characters that JK had come up with. And when he was killed off I was like NO not Dobby. I wish I could have kept him but the story would not have worked out.
It's well known about Dobby's devotion to Harry, and I wanted to do a more behind the scenes look and highlight some of the unknown devotions.
Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I look forward to your reviews. Report Review
Hi, I read this soon after it was first posted and now that I've revisited it a few times, I'll offer a few comments. First of all, the topic of Dobby's devotion is something that JK Rowling has thoroughly and masterfully already covered since Dobby's first appearance in the story, so I don't think there's really much that any fanfiction writer can hope to add to Dobby's tale and tragic end that wasn't already beautifully shown in the original books. But that's no reason not to write about Dobby! He is certainly a much loved character, and it's nice to see something from his point of view.
As a one-shot, this piece didn't hit me anywhere near as strongly as your other one-shots that were so emotion-filled. I agree with one of your other reviewers that this could have used more emotion. The writing style and descriptions here were in such a matter-of-fact explaining style that it doesn't let the emotion come through the way your other one-shots did.
My first reaction when I read this story was also that the paragraphs of Dobby cooking and cleaning went on too long. They took up more than half the story length, and there were very few paragraphs to follow, making the story feel unbalanced. A short charming description of house elf cooking and cleaning with carefully chosen words to involve the senses of the reader, like the sound of bacon frying or the smell of coffee brewing, might be better here than a long tedious one in the parts where Harry is not involved. Also in your first paragraph about Dobby waking up, it made me wonder where Dobby sleeps. So you might consider adding a little detail about whether he has a bed or sleeps on the floor, whether he's in a comfortable room or makes do with some drafty cold corner with other elves.
I was really happy to see the meeting with Aberforth, and feel you could have gone much more in depth from here until the end, which is really the most interesting part of the story, and the part that has the most to do with Dobby's giving his life out of devotion. I wanted to see more about Aberforth and Dobby's relationship aside from just an explanation - in fact, this would make a nice story in itself to explre. I wanted to feel more of Bellatrix's anger and hostility, and more of Harry's sadness when Dobby died.
I know you've already done some sentence editing at the suggest of another reviewer, but a lot of the sentences in this story still strike me as long and unwieldy to read. A lot of them just don't flow as well as they could throughout the whole story, particularly in the Aberforth paragraph, but throughout the whole piece.
So, on the whole, I think this story could still use some editing to give it the full impact it could have on the reader. I think this is a gem in the rough that could really shine with some more tender loving care.Author's Response: Hi it's always good to hear from you.
I was trying to convey the feelings that Dobby felt through none verbal interaction from Dobby's point of view and to try and highlight the devotion through that. If I had to describe other things like more indepth relationships like with Aberforth and such, would probably mean speech. But I'm open about new ideas for stories, so what I'll do is if a couple of other people agree with what you say, I'll edit that part about Aberforth. Though I do agree in part that some areas could do with a touch up here or there to make them better.
As to where Dobby sleeps, if I remember rightly I do say that he slept in a dorm type room with the rest of the house elves since I did not believe Dumbledore would have been cruel enough to have them sleep on the cold floor or in a cupboard.
Thanks once again for leaving a few comments which are much appriciated. Report Review
This is amazing. It's simple and to the point, very much like Dobby himself. You capture Dobby so wonderfully, I can easily picture him checking up on Harry and treating him in this manner.
You've made a very touching piece, good work.
Del<3Author's Response: Hi.
I wanted to do something that really highlighted Dobby's devotion to Harry (that was not described in the books) and I came up with this. It was the first time I did something that was non verbal. I'm so glad that it was well received.
Thanks for the read and review. Report Review
I'm back!! :D I simply LOVE reading your stories, and am extremely impressed by all of them. Another amazing story all and all... And I'm having trouble to find words to describe it. So, thought I'd leave a review anyway, because I (like all other authors I'm assuming) love that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you read a review, even one with criticism, even if it is constructive ;D
Anyways, keep up the good work. And I'd love to hear your opinion once again on my story!
Love Always Author's Response: Hi once again.
Wow I have never left anyone speechless with one of my stories before.
This is the first time I've tried a story with no dialogue. And judging by some of the response's that I've receive so far it seems to have been worthwhile writing it.
Thank you for the read and review. Knowing that your still enjoying my stories enough to continue to read and review overjoys me beyond words and feelings can describe.
I'm now going to check out your next chapter so thanks again Report Review
I love how Dobby checks up on Harry. That is definitely something I can picture him doing.
I think you show Dobby's devotion to Harry very well. Even when Harry doesn't know it, Dobby is there caring about him. I really love this line "His first thought was to go and see the one that he worshipped, the one that had helped him a year ago." It really shows how grateful he is to Harry.
I would like to see a little bit more emotion, though. The part about him worrying was very good and so was him checking up on Harry. But towards the end, how does Dobby feel about saving them? Is he scared? Angry at his former masters?
"Until that one fateful day when his devotion went to the extreme." That is another wonderful line. It is a perfect way to describe when Dobby went to rescue Harry. I like your description of that, too.Author's Response: Firstly, thank you for giving me my 300th review. The devotion that Dobby had for Harry was shown in the books, but never really went into more details. So I wanted to do something about what I thought this devotion would have been.
At the end I had hoped that I'd brought to the fore that Dobby was pleased that Harry was safe, and he'd felt that it had all been worth it and he never really bothered about dying as long as Harry was safe and well. Maybe I should go back to that part again and take another look at how I've worded it.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review this one shot **HAPPY READING** Report Review
I like the way you've managed this without any speech, although I feel you could use the descriptions a bit more to set the scene better.
Also, at the end, I believe the inscription read; HERE LIES DOBBY, A FREE ELF.
But you've portrayed Dobby's emotions towards his work and Harry very well, and this is a beautiful one-shot.Author's Response: Many thanks. It was an idea that I thought of when I realised that no one had portrayed Dobby like I've done. So I decided to go more indepth into Doddy's devotion to Harry and the fact that he'd do anything for him, even give his life to save Harry.
And it looks like another edit needs to be done to correct the error at the end.
Thanks once again for the read and review. Report Review
Aww, I just love Dobby. I cried buckets when he died. I really want him as my little pet.
Anyways, this was so cute. I loved the bit about him making a special breakfast for Harry and going up to the dormitory to make sure he was okay. Oh Dobby, why did you have to die..?
I really enjoyed it, so well done.
Alex :)Author's Response: Hi.
Good to hear from you again.
Yes it was a shame that I had to kill Dobby off in this story (believe you me, if I could have kept him I would have) but it wouldn't have turned out right if he'd been alive.
I wanted to show that Dobby was totally devoted to Harry after he had saved him from the Malfoys. And I believe I did that quite well.
Thanks once again for reading and taking the time to leave a review. Report Review
Aww! So sweet. I've never read a story written entirely on Dobby, and this was a really good idea. I loved the concept and the story too. It was really good, I felt sorry for Dobby once again.
As you've used a page-break before thrid-last para, it would do good to also use it where the incidents change, like where Harry's fourth year ends and seventh year story starts.
Keep writing... :)
P.S. My one-shot's out. It's called 'I could not save her'. Do take time to r/rAuthor's Response: Why thank you. This idea suddenly came into my head and I thought I'd try and see if I could do something further about Dobby since there's not much really about how totally devoted Dobby was to Harry after he had been freed by Harry.
Glad you enjoyed the story, there are one or two edits to be done. Many thanks for the read and review. Report Review
I really like it because it gives you a glimpse into Dobby's mind.
I think you really play into Dobby's obsessive nature as a house elf...free elf...very well.
There are a couple of places that are a little confusing... when Dobby enters the boys dormitory there should be five beds not four. Neville, Dean, Seamus, Ron and Harry.
You said when "Ollivander/Dean and Luna to Fluers and Bills house. Dobby being used to following orders had immediately taken a hold of Luna’s and Ollivanders hands and Griphook and Dean had followed suit by taking hold of the girl and old mans hands"
Fleur is misspelled and changes again to its correct spelling in the next few sentences. Griphook didn't stay in the cellar he was taken to shell cottage from upstairs when Bellatrix threw the knife at Dobby.
"Bella was so angry and threw a large knife towards where the five were standing and before she knew it the five vanished along with the knife, reappearing to find themselves on a beach, and Bill and Fleurs cottage in the distance."
You wrote in that there were five that left from upstairs, but if you disclude Griphook from the previous couple of paragraphs there would only be four.
Also and I am sure that this was over looked because I know how easy this is to do is that you had a small typo "Dobby moved over towards a door that was set into the wall at one end of the kitchen, and after taking q quick look around"
I believe you meant that q to be an a.
I also really liked Dobby's interaction with Aberforth. It is an interesting exchange between them because we don't get a chance to read about that in the book. I am glad that you brought this to light.
Overall I really enjoyed this story. I love Dobby. I think that you had a great amount to it. With a few changes to clear up some confusion would make it all the better.
I hope you don't feel that I am being over critical.
-SR17Author's Response: No you were not over critical with your review. I've taken note of what you've said and I now realize that your right and I will make the changes accordingly.
With the exchange between Aberforth and Dobby I was thinking back to the book and something there reminded me about Aberforth sending Dobby to help Harry and the others.Which led me to thinking that the two of them were friends.
Glad you enjoyed the story and many thanks for looking it over for me. Report Review
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