I saw this story when I was just searching around I decided to read it :)
And I'm really glad I did! This was a great one-shot, and it portrayed Percy perfectly. He had the pompous attitude, but the stubborn Gryffindor (and Weasely) trait in him. And the facts-the way he told about the promotion, the letter, Christams- it was amazing. I loved how you wrote this, it was interesting to see Percy's thoughts. He isn't written a lot, so it's certainly unique.
The grammar and spelling was great from what I could see, I didn't notice any big mistakes. So great job on that.
The detail in this story was great. There are some parts where you could add a bit more, but all in all it was great. There are types of stories that can only have so many deatils in it, and this is probably one of them. I'm not the best to be talking about detail though-I'm horrible at it in my own stories -_-
The thought process was awesome, I loved how it went. It was very well done- it's so difficult to get into the mind of someone like Percy, he's such an interesting character. Kudos to you for personifying him well :D
Anyway, I did like this story. It was very-well written. Great job!
~SaraAuthor's Response: That's one long review! :D Thanks a lot! I was writing it for a contest, so I had a limited amount of words and I couldn't fit in all the details I wanted to :( And you have a pretty name (I have the same!... Well, middle name :D) Report Review
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