I haven't found a whole lot of her on HPFF, but this is really good!!
Sometimes you changed tenses and some modifiers were misplaced, but overall, this story was great!!Author's Response: Why, thank you! Getting reviews on this one-shot is /always/ nice, and your reviews are particularly lovely, if I do say so myself ;) Thank you so very, very much for reviewing, and I'm sorely tempted myself to go over and review some of your own lovely stories. Thanks again, by the way! Report Review
Hey there! Now, I know a thousand apologies are in order given these reviews have taken such a horrendously long period of time, and I have no excuse other than that I've been horribly busy with exams and stuff. But, here I am and here's my first review of the six I owe you (I may do them all tonight, or may spread them out over the next few days as revision breaks).
This was really interesting for me because I'm currently writing my own Minerva fic but I don't think I've really read that many different interpretations of a teen Minerva fic. I think you manage to pull her off very well though. I like the way you took elements of the older Minerva and sort of shifted them slightly, so we can appreciate just how young she really is at the time you'e written it - and how much more she has to learn and change and things.
Yeah, I really enjoyed the character development and the idea that there's still lots more developments to come.
Lovely one shot :)Author's Response: Pssh, it's okay, for me exams are coming up too and I can understand how much work they take :( Oh, /are/ you? That sounds really interesting, poke me when you put it up, please!
Thank you so very, very much for the lovely compliments, though, and you write some really lovely one-shots, too, you know ;) Report Review
I love your characterization of young McGonagall. She's so sad and brave and lonely. Wearing her hair pulled tightly back just suits her so well. Love Dumbledore as a teacher, encouraging young Minerva. Love the canon touches of Anti-Cheating Quills and alphabetical seat assignments and dragon pox. I love little details like that, they really make the story come alive.
I didn't see why Frances was crying. She started it, said something horrible to her sister, and managed to get something of a rise out of her but Minerva didn't respond in kind. As I saw that exchange, Frances was entirely at fault. She acted like a jerk, frankly. Carolyn's berating Minerva seemed out of place, even given the loss of her sister. One would think she'd be mad at Frances for picking on Minerva.
There were a few grammatical errors and misused words, but overall it's quite a well-written story. I really liked your take on McGonagall and the overall tone of the story. Very nicely done!Author's Response: So sad and brave and lonely - very Minerva. And the canon bits! Teacher Dumbledore I loved - I prefer him as Professor rather than Headmaster, actually. I love those little details most people overlook, too.
Oh, yes, I suppose Carolyn being mad at Frances would make better sense, wouldn't it? She did act like a bit of a jerk, but not all families can be perfect.
Thank you very much for reviewing this! Report Review
First things first, I absolutely adore McGonagall stories. I don't know why I just love hearing about her either in childhood or as an adult.
You did an amazing job with this. I love the way you depicted Minerva as a teenager and doing her OWL's, it's how I have always pictured her, not a Ravenclaw but as smart as the Ravenclaw Chiche states. I also love that she has two twin sisters in your story. It's really lovely too see, and having a 'good' sister and a 'bad' sister was a lovely touch as well.
Carolyn was a really nice character too, I liked how although they didn't have much in common they would be a big part of each others lives just because they were there for each other when they needed it the most. It's one of those things where it reminds you that just because you might not like the same thing doesn't mean you won't be closer with them then you are with anyone else in your life. It was really nice.
I think my favourite bit was the fact that Minerva actually sincerely apologised. In the HP series Minerva always seems like the kind of individual that is never wrong and would also avoid admitting it. But in your story you made it so that her feelings came out and showed that she is controlled by them just as much as the next person.
Your writing style is lovely and there wasn't that many grammar mistakes that I could see so good work :)
Lovely story.Author's Response: Ah, young McGonagall is always overlooked, and most of the time it is written well, so I don't blame you for liking it. The Gryffindor-almost-Ravenclaw bit was inspired by Hermione, who was essentially the same. I always wondered what it would be like to have two older twin sisters, and 'good' and 'bad' difference - I'm quite glad it showed, because I wasn't sure what everyone would think about Harriet and Frances.
Oh, I quite loved their friendship, too. Very peculiar, but all the same it works. Oh yes, even Minerva has to apologise at times, and this time was one of them. This was a different sort of writing style for me, so I'm glad it went well.
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I absolutely love Minerva. There aren't many stories focusing on her around, especially during her time at Hogwarts, and you've done a wonderful job. This is really beautiful.
Del<3Author's Response: Hi Del! I can't believe you came over to review this, so thanks a million doesn't quite cover it. I don't see much stories about her either, and that's probably why I chose to write about her. Once again, though, thank you for choosing to review! Report Review
This story is a very interesting take on Minerva. In the books, she seems strict, for sure, and proper, but not without compassion, especially towards her students. It's interesting here to see her so cold and reserved. Of course, at the end of the story she changes, for the better, which maybe helps improve her life too.
I like how you enumerated the different bits of Minerva's personality. You didn't just list them, but instead gave little bits of action that illustrated them, which made them more believable and powerful. It's one thing to say that Minerva treats friends and foes the same, it's another to see her treat her so-called best friend with a certain coldness.
I find it a bit hard, maybe, to have a character be that reserved and perfectly in control of her emotions. Even if she really isn't--Frances makes her cry--I would wonder why anyone would pride themselves on it. How could you live a happy life always being so aloof?
All that aside, you managed to show your version of Minerva well, and with integrity. Your writing style matched her mind's inner workings and therefore had a bit less description than normal. But it was very fitting for this story. Nice job. :)Author's Response: A random review like this one really makes my day :D Yeah, I consider myself the complete opposite of Minerva - sometimes a little overly emotional - so it was a challenge writing her, but a challenge worth it nonetheless. This was a new style of writing for me, and I'm proud of this one-shot coming out so well in the end! And, yes - show, not tell, a writer's motto, so I'm glad it showed in the story. Thank you so much for reviewing this, by the way! Report Review
Hi! You've been tagged! :D
I think I saw this go through the list of 'recently added' stories a while back and I wanted to take a look at it! :)
Probably my favorite line was this: "Minerva was never one for picking favourites." I think that shows your obvious determination to stay in character for Minerva and I love that because it totally works. She thinks things like who are her 'favorites' in her head, but she never would speak it aloud just as she did with the Mauraders and with Harry especially!
I really love the way you wrote this! The present tense really allows the reader to see into what's happening and actually become involved, as long as they can get into it! (Which I did!) I like that you were able to describe Minerva so well, but still have a plot, because that's important!
Overall, I think this story definitely deserves some more love! I don't see hardly any Minerva stories around, much less ones that are done well, so bravo! :)
~VioletBladeAuthor's Response: I've been tagged?... It must show how clueless I am since I have no idea what that means, but I'm assuming it means something good? This story was a completely random one which quite literally just popped out of nowhere, no planning or plot involved, so I'm glad it came out so well and people like it so much! And, honestly, bravo to you - thank you so much for reviewing this! Report Review
Wow that was amazing and so heart touching. I have never read a story quite like this and I love your style of writing, its so mezmorising! I've also love how this is based around our own Professor McGonagall at a young age, something I've never witnessed before. I've never looked much into McGonagalls family, but this summed it up so well that now I don't have to look it up. You've written this perfectly with no mistakes and such a mezmorising type of writing I found it hard to look away from the page until it was over.
Fantastic read and an amazing story. nice job!
June KnightAuthor's Response: Aww, thank you so much! I'm rather proud of how this random, spur-of-the-moment one-shot came out! Not all the story is canon, sadly enough. Minerva actually has two younger brothers instead of two older twin sisters, and a Muggle for a father, but oh well, close enough! Thank you so, so much for reviewing, I'm not just saying it when I say it means the world to me! Report Review
You've done a very nice job with Minerva's character-changing moment. It is never comfortable to have our flaws revealed to ourselves -- you're right that it's something that makes you grow up very quickly. How did Carolyn's sister die? I think that a brief explanation might be a nice thing to add to the story if you revise this.
There is one small typo that caught my eye, probably a spell check glitch, "wane" where "wan" should be. Beautifully done and I'm glad I found the story!Author's Response: Why thank you! I'm really proud of the story and Minerva, and it was surprisingly easy to get into her head. As for the spelling - eek! I'll fix that right away! Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
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