Reading Reviews for Cold as the Sea
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by peppersweet Cold

29th December 2013:
Hello! I'm also here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge (truth be told, there's a real dearth of Hagrid stories on this site, so take ten house points for having the skill to write one!)

Goodness gracious, this was a terrifying depiction of Azkaban (not that I wasn't terrified of the thought of it already!). You've captured the despair of the place perfectly both in the physical description of it and Hagrid's reaction to the Dementors. My heart really went out to him - it's so sad to see such a cheerful character that we know and love so well suffering for no good reason. It's perverse that the Dementors can destroy people with their own insecurities. At first, I felt as if there was a glimmer of hope in this - Hagrid seemed to be working really, really hard to fight them off - but ultimately there's no way out, as you so brutally summed up in that closing line (and what a powerful closing line it is!).

This is a very small detail, but I liked how our first introduction to Hagrid in this was of the manacles cutting into the 'warm flesh of his hands'. After those two paragraphs of scene-setting, establishing Azkaban as cold, dark, and horrifying, the mere mention of Hagrid's hands being warm stands out in really stark contrast and, I think, sets up his fear and alienation quite beautifully. It was sweet and actually a bit heartbreaking to see his rescue of Harry amongst his happiest memories.

Spinning until his mind was not his own anymore, until the small voice that called on him to fight the piercing frost was silenced. - I especially liked this line!

Thank you very much for sharing this one-shot with us, and a merry belated Christmas! ♥

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Review #2, by writeyourheartout Cold

29th December 2013:
Hello there! I'm here for the 12 Days of Reviewing challenge that's taking place on the forums! Today I am meant to review stories starring Hagrid, and can I just say that I am beyond thrilled that yours is one of the ones I came across! This was just an absolute pleasure to read.

Right from the top with that opening paragraph: Wow. Gorgeous descriptions. It's immediate how talented a writer you are, and it only becomes more apparent the further I read along.

I love the topic you chose to write about. Missing moments from canon are always really cool to read about in fanfiction, but I've never read one about Hagrid's stay in Azkaban; and to be honest, I never really even thought about what it must have been like for him before today! I thought you did a brilliant job at not only describing Azkaban itself, but in the exploration of memories that would be replaying themselves in Hagrid's minds; of the painful things in his past most likely to haunt him in his cell. This feels so very canon in its choices. I loved it.

"Don't think, or they'll steal that away too - along with your freedom." - Ah, what a poignant line. It's so heartbreaking to think of Hagrid in a place such as this, wrongfully accused and punished. And oh God, the whole back and forth between the version of Hagrid fighting to stay in his right mind versus the Hagrid being affected by the Dementor's and the thoughts they provoke is just so heart-wrenching! It's such a terrible internal struggle to be faced with, and the entire time I can't help but think that he's going to lose this battle and succumb to the devastation more often than not. And sure enough... :-( So heart-breaking.

This whole sea analogy that is weaved throughout the fic is just perfect; it fits so perfectly every time you bring it back to that. Like when Hagrid thinks, "Keep your head above the water." or, "Fighting is useless. You'll just sink faster." And that final line: "There was no escape from the sea." There are a handful of other examples I could use, each as flawlessly integrated as the next. I love the cleverness of it all. It's just wonderful.

So, before I wrap this review up, I have to tell you this: When this story began, it was immediately captivating and beautifully written and perfectly constructed, but I didn't feel as though I could really relate to the subject of being thrown into a jail cell in the middle of the sea surrounded by soul-sucking creatures (naturally, because there is not actually a place quite like that in the real world). Not that not relating to the story line really matters all that much, especially when it's written as beautifully as this was. But then you twisted everything I thought I knew right at the end with this line: "There was almost a perverse pleasure in the prospect of sinking into the pain." All of a sudden, at the very end of this story, I suddenly felt like I could understand Hagrid's pain in some way. That line, how you said that, is such a human way of thinking sometimes - usually when we are at our worst. It can become so easy to just drown in our sorrows rather than to fight our way out of it, and obviously Hagrid has a lot less of a choice given his location, but still. That line just clicked everything into place for me and reminded me of all the times I was faced with hardships and found it almost comforting to sink into the darkness rather than fight for the light. I'm not sure I'm even making any sense, but I just had to tell you that I thought your story was stunning the first time through, and just absolutely brilliant on a whole other level the second time.

Grammatically, structurally, and all of that fun stuff, the entire story was perfection. In fact, the only mistake I found at all was in your Author's Note where you spelled 'feeling' 'fealing'! LOL And speaking of your Author's Note: it is not too much; it is not overloaded; it is perfect. Your hard work certainly paid off.

I have no critiques. This was wonderful. :)

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Review #3, by OctoberBlueMoon Cold

18th April 2012:
I think you've managed to capture the feeling of Azkaban very well - the coldness, the hopelessness. What must have been a difficult story has turned out very well indeed.The metaphor of the sea was great. Poor Hagrid! He had to live for months in that place!

Author's Response: Hi!!! thank you so much :D
That was pretty much what I was going for, and the metaphor felt a little difficult to work with at times, so I'm glad you liked it! Yes, poor Hagrid- people need to appreciate him more.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #4, by kestral14 Cold

29th February 2012:
Wow, very dark. I loved it, awesome descriptions!

Author's Response: Hi! glad you found it dark :D thank you so much!!

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Review #5, by ScorpiusRose17 Cold

28th February 2012:
I am litterally at a loss for words. I have never read a story about Hagrid that has been just about him before. It was simply a beautiful story with tons of description and wonderfully written transitions. Thank you so much for sharing your work of art! =)

Author's Response: Hello! Wow, really? That's so awesome- I've never made someone at a loss for words before :D Hagrid is a special guy that's been through a lot more than people give him credit for, so I felt he deserved it. Thank you! The descriptions were giving me a fairly hard time, so I'm glad you like them! Thanks for reviewing ^_^

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Review #6, by Aderyn Cold

28th February 2012:
I think you did a good job here combining description and plot. Often I feel like one of the two is lost, but you kept both up!

I think, however, the plot was stronger than the descriptions. The whole experience really felt horrific here. And the descriptions did help with that. I think maybe that some descriptions tended towards cloches. Like ' wrought iron' it works, but its not as vivid or as chilling as itcould be.

I think its fun to come up with new descriptions. Try to find a few adjectives with tension. Don't just use similies.

Overall, great job! I'm mostly nitpicking!

Author's Response: Hi!! Thanks! You're right. I don't often write such intense stories, and I've been trying to find the balance between description and action/plot. Thanks for the advice! it really helps, and I will try to find more original/new descriptions :D

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Review #7, by javct Cold

25th February 2012:
here with your review swap!
Wow. Just wow. This was incredible! It's not very often that I stumble across (even though, technically, you asked me to read it) such a descriptive and unique story.
You portrayed the emotion beautifully and wonderfully. I write angst all the time and so I am quite harsh on reading it but this was really good!
I couldn't pick up any grammatical errors or anything like that which also pleased me (I hate reading stories that have a really good/powerful storyline & is ruined by bad grammar!)
Jaz

Author's Response: Hi!!! thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. It was hard for me to put the emotions into words and to be able to judge how effective they were, so thank you for the compliments - they're reassuring :)



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Review #8, by Violet Gryfindor Cold

21st February 2012:
Wow, this is phenomenal! The emotions in this story are incredibly powerful and the imagery equally so. I don't think that it's overdone - you kept it just within the optimal limits and in fact made it perfectly suit the atmosphere of Azkaban, where memories and emotions swirl about like the waves and wind outside. You portrayed Hagrid's confusion and grief extremely well - I've never seen him written in this way, which made this one-shot a refreshing change from the cliched visions of Hagrid one too often sees in fanfiction. Here, you've explored more of his past and his inner feelings, the things he has never told another living soul, but that the dementors attempt to snatch away from him. I've gotten so used to seeing Hagrid as a jolly, loving character that seeing him in this way makes the story all the more painful - it wouldn't be the same, even with Sirius, because he's already a tragic character, while Hagrid isn't meant to be. So the choice of character was perfect in accentuating the emotions and overall power of this one-shot.

The language was what really caught me, though, as it's so beautifully arranged - seeing your author's note at the end made me think back to how much obvious care and thought was put into each sentence so that it would have the right sort of sound and rhythm. I'm always appreciative of authors who go that extra mile and edit and re-edit, especially with a one-shot of this genre, because it tends to sharpen the emotional impact of the story. It's like the effect that the that "Every Word Counts" challenge can have, but without the word count limitations. Your words definitely evoked vivid images of the action and Hagrid's memories, making sure that most, if not all, of the senses were included.

Excellent work with this story, and thank you very much for entering the challenge! It's been a delight to come across stories of such a high quality as this. ^_^

Author's Response: Hi!! sorry it's taken so long to respond.

Thanks! I had read over the story so many times that it started sounding stupid and trite. I wanted to show Hagrid as a fighter, except when it comes to his family - I always saw him as a softy :) Sirius already had such a dark past, that I didn't think he'd have anything to hold on to. With Hagrid, it felt like there was more to lose.

I've never written anything this intense before- I do have a bad habit of over editing though, I've lost the ability to write freely- and it's really annoying, but it helps for stories like this where everything feels more poetic. So, thanks! The language is something I stress on a lot.

Thanks for reviewing! and for issuing the challenge- this story was torturing me for a couple days until I had finally written it, and it's made me appreciate writing even more :D


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Review #9, by justonemorefic Cold

20th February 2012:
I love how you described dreams dying in Azkaban. Very visual, and gives me that chilling atmosphere too. You've got a lot of lovely description; when I first read about Hagrid, I can feel sort of the... insanity of Azkaban. How it's "always winter" and every day is the same and the madness creeps into his mind. Bit of a nitpick I think mixing up your sentence structure more in some of the initial paragraphs will make it flow a little better and really bring out the power of the description.

Ohh, and then the walk of doom. I love Hagrid's thoughts, how he tells himself to keep strong. And the snippets of someone talking to him. They're really well chosen words - meant for comfort, but eerie.

I think you did the transition into the funeral scene and out of it really well. That can be tricky, but I think it suited the story :) Tied all the things about his dad together.

Lovely oneshot! ^__^

Author's Response: Hi!
Thanks, that was exactly what I was trying to get across. It did feel kind of clunky to me- too much heavy description in the first couple paragraphs. I'll try changing sentence structure, thanks for pointing it out!

The inner voice talking to Hagrid- not sure where it came from, but glad you though it was eerie :) I've never been great at transitions, so I'm glad that worked out.

Thanks for reviewing! it was helpful ^_^


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Review #10, by Expelliarmus26 Cold

19th February 2012:
This is beautifully written. I can absolutely feel the emotion in it!

Author's Response: Thank you!! That's great to hear, sometimes I get too lost in the wording and the writing feels too mechanical.

Thanks for reviewing :D


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