*dies* i want a friend like Fred!>_<
This was a great chapter^_^ Report Review
So i'm only on the third chapter, and i'm already in love with this story! Report Review
Lovely story!!! I like the ending, i would hate to be her when her mum finds ouy!Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it. I loved writing this. thanks for reviewing. Report Review
This chapter made me cry. In a good way. My Pandora played A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton and for me it fit the chapter perfectly! It's funny how it does that.Author's Response: i'm so glad you enjoyed and I didn't even think about music. some times it just works with the most random songs. thanks for taking the time to review. Report Review
THANKS FOR UPDATING SO SOON. :D
I can't believe it's over. I love how she hasn't told her mum about her and James yet :D They finally got together. SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL!Author's Response: Just Posted the sequels first chapter! I hope you enjoy it as much as this one. Report Review
FINALLY ASDFGHJKL; HE FINALLY ADMITTED IT AND SO DID SHE AH
Amazing chapter :D You always seem to update really fast. ^^ SO, UPDATE REALLY REALLY SOON. PLEASE?
`StephenieAuthor's Response: XD. I was so excited to get to this point, and I just posted the last chapter... it was so soon it was while you were pretty much reviewing. Thanks for taking the time and reading and reviewing. Report Review
Hee, good story!
I guess James took her rejection differently than she meant it -she just didn't want him to be drunk and he thought she didn't like him. So now they're both hurt and I wonder how much longer this will go on... especially now that Fred will be carrying her bag -might get James to overthink things, I guess.
Nice characters, pretty good writing. ...Neat! ;)Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing. I hope you continue to review. And i hope I don't Disappoint in the future chapters. :) Report Review
You know you spelled "decisions" wrong in your summary? I just figured I should point that out to you. Otherwise, good story!Author's Response: Thanks I'll fix that, thanks for reviewing!
I really like this whole book/fanfiction/story(don't really know what to call it). I love all the characters, and can totally relate to how Gwen is feeling, let's just say I've been there and done that. I have so totally fallen in love with Fred:) I really like the way you portray all the parents too, it kinda makes hogwarts live on doesn't it! But my only criticism would be upload faster I literally can't wait for the next chapters!! I look like everyday to see if you've uploaded! But I know it takes time to do, what with all the proofreading and stuff. I would love to be able to write like you do, believe me I've tried. Anyway I'm rambling now, I've been told I do that alot, so I'm going to stop this review. I love this story and really hope you write more and upload quicker!! Joking, I know it takes time to create this much perfection!! Thanks for writing this and good luck for your future books and whatever else you plan to do in the future! Love you and thanks again, uhoh I'm rambling again, thanks for writing this amazing story xoxoxoAuthor's Response: I'm so glad you've enjoyed my story (Well go with that because it's easier). i love the characters too well most of them. McCready and McMullen aren't my favorites but they were necessary to the story. Ramble on, it makes me happy and entertained and it makes me wanna update more often ;). and you're not the only rambler. hey that would be a cool song wouldn't it? XOXOXO Report Review
Why doesn't James get mad that Gwen's talking and dancing with Wesley? He reacted so violently before, but doesn't even seem to care or notice now. Also, Gwen and Arthur dancing was really awkward. So was Arthur's comment about Gwen looking beautiful. He's beginning to come across as a bit of a creeper. I have to agree with you; this chapter is a filler. Please include a fast-paced chapter next!Author's Response: Thank's for reviewing, to all of my chapters. and thank you for the advice as well I'm going back and working on the chapters. trying to make them better. I know I get a little wishy washy with the characters. I'm going to try and work through so that the next chapter is practically amazing. thanks again. Report Review
One word. Wow. Gwen's got herself in a bit of a mess at this point. Report Review
The events in this chapter seem a bit disjointed and rushed. You should end the chapter with a cliffhanger. Maybe end it after Dom reveals Arthur wrote the newspaper. That would convince readers to continue reading to the next chapter. Report Review
Isn't Quidditch year-round? Why does Gwen refer to Quidditch "season?" It seemed like they had Quidditch practices and matches throughout the entire year. Also, the exchange between Gwen and Fred seems a bit awkward and forced. Try to smooth it out a bit. And why wouldn't Fred talk to Gwen about her love for James beforehand? Report Review
James is starting to turn into a bit of an idiot. I think Gwen overreacted a bit to her brother snogging Clair McMullen. I was slightly baffled by James' sudden change in character towards the middle of the chapter. One second, he was storming out of the Great Hall, and the next, he's asking Gwen what's wrong. He seems to haughty and self-conceited to really pay much attention to Gwen. Maybe define his character a bit more, because he seems to be wavering between two personalities: an irascible one, and a sympathetic one. Nice job on this chapter. Report Review
I felt like this chapter was extremely rushed. I feel like you just bounced from one event to the next, without really focusing on one event for a long enough period of time. Also, there were some typos in this chapter, so you might want to get a beta reader to skim your story. Report Review
I was a bit taken aback by James' sudden appearance toward the end of the chapter. Did he just magically appear there? I also didn't understand James' transfixed state. He just blanked out for three minutes? I was a little confused about that. Also, why did James leave so abruptly? It seemed a bit uncalled for, because Wesley had done/said nothing that should have upset him. This chapter wasn't as good as the others. It seemed a bit rushed and choppy. I felt like the events didn't flow very well. But, overall, nice job. Report Review
This chapter was good, probably my favorite so far. Just a friendly tip: maybe leave readers with a cliffhanger at the end of each chapter, just to spice it up. Good job! :) Report Review
I was just a little confused about the Wotter parties. I felt like Gwen touched on the lake experience, but left readers hanging. Maybe you could edit that section, so it includes a flashback to the previous Wotter party.
I'm also a bit confused about Gwen's relationship with James and Fred. I feel like they're friends, but it seems at times that their friendship is a bit strained, where at others, they seem to be best friends. Maybe give them a bit more of a concrete relationship. Do they constantly argue? Do they enjoy the same activities? Do they spend every second possible with one another? Are they just acquaintances? Just elaborate a bit more on that. Report Review
It was okay, overall. I liked the reference to King Arthur and the names; very creative :)
However, I felt that I really didn't have any idea what Gwen looked like, or what her personality was like. I was a bit overwhelmed by the deluge of characters that you introduced that weren't all present in the books. Maybe provide a paragraph providing a brief description of each main character.
Also, you might want to have a beta reader look at this. It has some spelling, grammar, and punctuation mistakes, which can be easily corrected. Report Review
I have just found this story and read all eight chapters back-to-back and it is GREAT! So keep updating because I can't wait to see what happens next!Author's Response: Aww... Thanks, I'm so happy you enjoyed it. When I started writing I just couldn't stop. Report Review
Post more! It's really good! I Dnt want it to en :PAuthor's Response: I've posted more, and I don't want this too end either... I really love Gwen... and James... and Fred. Report Review
I love this chapter!! Maybe James is finally noticing her as more than a friend...! :))Author's Response: I think he's noticed far before, but i think it's just finally starting to go to his head. i'm glad you like this chapter. Report Review
favourite line:“I dead raccoon look’s prettier than her,” I said.
lol, that made me laugh.
anyways, i love it when characters get like makeover type things, you know? they're brilliant.
great chapter, update soon!Author's Response: That's my favorite line too. There's definitely more makeovery things to come. Report Review
gaah, i really like this story! it's so funny and the characters make me laugh. i really like the whole, idea, you know? snort.
favourie line:I don’t even like small children. They creep me out most of the time.
anyways, update soon!Author's Response: I'm so glad you've enjoyed thus far. I'm so excited to get a review that I don't even know what to say anymore! and I've just posted the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it and review! I'm just really happy! can you tell? Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection