Reading Reviews for Snakes and Ladders
  
22 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Oboeliviate Curse Words

29th May 2013:
Wow. Just wow. After reading all three of your stories in the space of three days, all I can say is wow. I adore how all of your characters, with the majority of them being completely unrelated to those in the books, are so well written and characterized. The moments with the first years are so brief, but one still gets an ominous feeling that this is just the calm before thestorm. I did wonder about there not being any girls in Slytherin during their first year, but now I'm just wondering where they are? I beg of you, please finish this story! This story is one of a kind in it's originality and it would be a shame for it to join the many other stories that coluld have become something amazing, but are instead abandoned. You are an extremely talented writer and I hope to read more of your work either here, or on another site with some orginal fiction.
Sincerely,
Oboeliviate

Author's Response: Thank you!

I can't even begin to imagine how much of your life I've just taken up over the last few days, and glad I haven't just wasted it!

This isn't abandoned, don't worry: just on pause - as mentioned at the end of LEBS, I couldn't decide which sequel to write first, and wrote the first few chapters of each concurrently, before settling on the storyline of Snake Bites.

I'm also somewhat handicapped by having a full-time job at a boarding school, and then using up most of my free time as a sports coach. Consequently, in the summer term, not very much gets written, but Snake Bites is only a few chapters from the end, and then Snakes and Ladders will get more attention. It might take until 2015, but it will get there!

I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on the other two stories - particular characters, plot twists or events that work or don't work, things you'd like to see more (or less) of, or simply favourite moments!

Thanks again,

Sheriff


 Report Review

Review #2, by ScorpiusRose17 Curse Words

27th June 2012:
Hi there!

Here with your review!

I Love this chapter! I really like how the progression on the returning characters is so strong. I felt horrible for Joshua. That poor kid just cannot catch a break at all. I was excited for Glyn and Greg and attending the slug club meeting.

I really think you do a great job showing all these boys in a very positive, but true light. Boys would definitely be up to trouble and have these worries. There would be a child that would quote their rugby coach and a lot of swearing. One thing I was quite surprised with is how much a twelve year old really swears. You hold true to their ages.

The descriptions were great and I loved the picture I was able to imagine while I read along. I am curious to learn more about the first year boys and how they are all going to fit into this Slytherin mold.

Keep up the awesome writing! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: Thank you - and apologies for such an appallingly late response. Our end of term makes Hogwarts look sane.

Pleased that the character progression is strong and that they are building up their personalities and roles in the story.

I haven't written any more lately - although I am finally managing to sit down on the laptop and relocate my muse - but I get the feeling that things might just end up getting worse for Josh before they get any better.

As always,

Sheriff


 Report Review

Review #3, by ScorpiusRose17 Self Defence

17th June 2012:
Hi there!

Here with another review!

I really liked this chapter. I am glad that Greg and Zac were able to work around their differences early on. I also felt really bad for Ossie and that book. I could only imagine how difficult it would be to stay awake if I read books like that. I felt horrible for Morgan. I really can't wait to see what happens with him. I know he will come around.

The defence class was awesome. I really like the new Professor. I also liked tha approach he took on learning about them and how he taught.

I am really enjoying this story and I am so excited to find out what is going to happen next!

Keep up the awesome writing! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: You know Zac's always going to shoot his mouth off a few times. The boys are going to learn to ignore him at some stag, I figure. The book strikes me as being like any policy handbook I've ever been forced to read...

More to come about the new characters. Personally I'm not sure that Jenkins' lesson plan quite ticked all the Health & Safety boxes required.

Thanks again

Sheriff


 Report Review

Review #4, by ScorpiusRose17 September the First

17th June 2012:
Hi there!

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to review this chapter for you. I have been very busy this week, but I am here now.

I really liked this chapter. I enjoyed seeing them return to Hogwarts and I liked that Slytherin has gained more new students. The girls should be fairly interesting and what possible chaos they will bring among the second year boys seems like it is going to brew up. I am so happy that Morgan was sorted into Slytherin. He will also be a great contribution.

I really love the sorting hat song. I cannot imagine writing one myself and you make it seem so easy. It was flawless and I really like how creative you are with them.

This chapter has been awesome. I love the characters and seeing, or reading rather, how a year makes a difference. I am quite curious as to what is going to happen when they start their classes and I am interested in the new Defence teacher.

Keep up the awesome writing! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: Thank you :)

I am still not sure that my efforts quite class as songs; they're more like poems in iambic verse, but I suppose they get the job done.

My concern with this year is that a lot of this writing is just description without too much of a purpose that doesn't really hold attention - how close am I to boring you?!

Sheriff


 Report Review

Review #5, by ScorpiusRose17 Words and Pictures

5th June 2012:
Hi there!

Here with another review for you!

This was such an awesome chapter! I loved how they got to take Morgan to Diagon Alley. It really showed how grown they are becoming. Here they are taking him under their wing! Love it!

I really like Morgan. He fits in so well with the other three boys. I even liked his joke he made about Theo's hair! =) Theo is that sports crazed kind of kid. I can relate to him there. I also like how Greg reflected back to when Matthew took him to the Alley.

I thought that you did a great job with your descriptions in this chapter. They were sprinkled throughout the chapter in the perfect amount. I also liked how it flowed not only throughout the chapter, but from the one before it too. The pace was great and held my attention all the way through.

I am just always so inspired by your writing! You do such a wonderful job!

Keep up the awesome work! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: Thank you :)

The whole story still feels very much a WIP to me right now, so as we go along please do give me a shout if something or someone tails off/fades out/gets mistreated.

I'll be back requesting 5 & 6 very soon :)

Sheriff


 Report Review

Review #6, by ScorpiusRose17 The Sting

5th June 2012:
Hi there!

Here with another review!

This was very interesting. I am glad that Theo and Greg are including Joshua. I feel so horrible for him. I cannot imagine how he would feel. I also really liked the way the boys participated in the Rugby camp. Theo is such a nut for Rugby. I was shocked at the end when he threatened to not come back. I liked how you brought Theo's love for Rugby alive. I also thought the way you twisted Morgan into the story was really awesome.

I must say that I do not know a thing about Rugby other than what it is. I don't know anything about the positions or the rules. You did a great job describing everything to make me feel like I was standing there with them. Just as confused as Joshua and Greg were. I thought the chapter flowed well and that it was nicely paced. I found it really believable and highly intriguing.

I can't wait to find out what happens next!

Keep up the awesome writing! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: First up, I don't think I've ever taken quite so long to write a response, so sorry for that. Way too busy!!

My worry with this chapter was that the rugby might overshadow it for a non-fan - pleased it's come out alright and doesn't overkill it. You can now go and google "Gareth Edwards try" and see what Theo was talking about!

Thanks as always

Sheriff


 Report Review

Review #7, by ScorpiusRose17 Discovery

4th June 2012:
Hi there!

Here again with another review.

I feel so horrible for Josh! What a lot to go through being only two and then eleven/twelve. I liked how he wanted to start explaining before school started what had happened so he knew how he was going to feel and what he was going to say. It shows his growth. You even show his growth really well with his last line of the chapter. I also thought Greg was really well characterized in this chapter too. You could almost see the gears literally turning in his mind about how Slytherins stick together to We all stick together. Everyone can relate to these two characters this is why I enjoy reading about them so much!

I thought that the flow was again smooth and the pace steady. They are well balanced with the description. I see no areas where you slowed down or where I felt confused. The description is so awesome! You just have this wonderful way with words that bring the world your imagining come to life for those who read. The other awesome thing that you do is you avoid said at all costs. I've never read this many stories that have refrained in using that one simple word. It really does wonders to a story because of it. You're able to bring out the emotions easier and make them not only relatable but believable.

Keep up the awesome writing! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: Like I said, Josh has to grow up quickly. Poor kid. I guess this is what happens when characters appear out of nowhere and I have to invent a backstory for them - it all gets a bit tragic.

As for said, well, I do think I get a bit OCD about it sometimes. Although I suppose Theo tells everyone what his rugby coach always said enough times to make up for my aversion to its presence in the narrative.

Thanks as always

Sheriff :)


 Report Review

Review #8, by ScorpiusRose17 Convalescence

4th June 2012:
Hi there!

Okay so I am finally here with your review! The first one from me for this story and I have been so excited to be able to review for you! =)

I really liked the entire chapter. I thought you did a great job at pulling me into the story because it starts where you left off. I already am able to draw a connection to it.

I really liked Greg in this chapter. He's still the same Greg, but he seems more confident and comfortable now after finishing his first year. Josh was a really great character in this one to. You really get that sense that they are good friends and whatever bad or mean things said in the past are going to stay in the past. I think Josh grew up a lot during their first year and I am excited to see how you continue to characterize the both of them, let alone the rest of the characters.

The flow was smooth and the pace was steady. I LOVE your descriptions! They are always so vivid and easy to picture. Not to mention that you word your descriptions so nicely that they are as natural as can be.

I am super excited that they found the room of requirement! I also hope that Professor Tregeagle continues to get better. I am just so intrigued at what else is going to happen!! I didn't see anything that was confusing or that I didn't like.

Keep up the awesome work! =)

-SR17

Author's Response: Thank you :)

I had a few weeks off writing before this one began again so I'm glad it gets back into the swing of things.

You are right about Josh - he definitely had a lot of growing up to do... and for reasons you'll find out more about in the next chapter, he's got more to deal with than you yet know.

Thanks as always

Sheriff


 Report Review

Review #9, by BKL8008 Curse Words

26th April 2012:
Hang on, where'd I miss the "Heir of Merlin" bit?!
Good chapter. I liked the idea with the notorious Slug Club party, too. That was priceless. The interplay between Josh and Greg was very realistic, too. An accidental release of Dark Magic would be just the thing to fit the bill. Can't wait to see "Dinner Disasters" or whatever's next!

Author's Response: Chapter 25 of LEBS - Glyn's words: "Heir of Glyndwr, himself the Heir of Merlin. Cross the bloodline if you dare." Slughorn was present in the Great Hall to overhear it.

There's a little more to come before dinner with Horace... what makes you think everything won't just run to plan?


 Report Review

Review #10, by BKL8008 Self Defence

16th March 2012:
Ah, one of my favorite things to write! Battle scenes. I've often used the "attack the students" theme, and had a melee break out! This was a great touch with Josh, though, having an accidental Sectumsempra (dark magic, Snape once said) break out of him. There's good capture of emotion in here, too, pitting friends against one another. This would have to be hard for the boys to face. Such a great chapter, I could go on and on.

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. I'm not sure Joshua did, though, and I don't think he quite knows just what curse he's just fired at Isaac.

I think the characters are getting good depth here too - I hope I don't lose the strand of the storyline too much... it felt like the last chapter (5) didn't really go anywhere so I need to guard against any stagnation of plot - if I find any time to write any time soon!


 Report Review

Review #11, by Loopy456 Self Defence

15th March 2012:
Hmm, I'm not entirely sure if I like Professor Jenkins yet. He seems a bit odd, but I liked the lesson. I guess he got his point across.
I'm glad the boys sorted out their disagreement - kids and their petty arguments can go for days...
Can't wait to see what you come up with next!

Alex :D

Author's Response: Do the ends justify the means? That's the question.

Might be a bit of a hiatus on this one for a few weeks - I'm trying to get the next chapter of Snake Bites sorted out next as Daniel's character is at an important juncture. I have loose outlines for the next three chapters here planned, too, but the end of term is never a particularly relaxing time of things so we may need to wait until the Easter holiday for much to happen!


 Report Review

Review #12, by BKL8008 September the First

13th March 2012:
It's still interesting. Not sure I understand the banter at the end after reading it 3 times, but it's late and that's OK. Onward with the new interesting characters!

Author's Response: I wouldn't worry about it - it's thoroughly puerile 12-year-old trash talk with next to no relevance to the plot development beyond referencing the fact that they are starting to notice girls (don't worry, we're not going down that road!) and signalling that Isaac is still prone to talking without thinking about it!

 Report Review

Review #13, by Loopy456 September the First

12th March 2012:
Well done on the Sorting Hat's song! I would never be brave enough to try and write one but I loved yours.
I'm glad Morgan got into Slytherin, and they actually got a couple of girls. Finally! I can't wait to see what happens as the year begins...

Alex :D

Author's Response: 100 reviews! Woohoo!

I think it's more of a poem/rhythmic spoken word piece than a song but glad you like it. I have no musical gifts by way of tone and pitch but I can do rhymes!

There's one more chapter finished for this one, then the queue's going to catch up to my output. Time to get into gear...


 Report Review

Review #14, by Loopy456 Words and Pictures

6th March 2012:
Yay for Morgan! I'm so glad he got his Hogwarts letter, although it would have been fun to see the boys try and explain everything away if he hadn't...
I'm sure there must be something going on with Morgan being Welsh and the Welsh magic and Glyn but I have no idea what it might be!
I like Morgan's reactions to everything and how Greg and Theo could empathise. I wonder which House he'll be in..? Can't wait to find out!

Alex :D

Author's Response: Yeah, that would have been interesting, but - as Greg put it - "How else could all of that have happened if it wasn’t accidental magic?"

You might be right about Welsh magic... or you might not. Count the days till the Sorting: maybe Glyn will be able to tell you some more...


 Report Review

Review #15, by BKL8008 Words and Pictures

6th March 2012:
I like it! The crazy wand has Luna written all over it. And a Welsh kid with a mystery dad? The plot thickens...
I like this Morgan kid so far. I think. ;)

Author's Response: I am starting to worry that I am setting myself up a plot that will take me the next two years to get my head around and resolve properly. Do let me know if I lose a plotline at some stage along the journey...

 Report Review

Review #16, by BKL8008 The Sting

27th February 2012:
Very good! I like Morgan already. Hard to not see him as the bad-guy Morgan that I wrote about in my original stuff, though. Lots of possibilities there, like perhaps Neville intercepting the breach of security and being thrilled with the Second Years' catch of Morgan. I like it. Great stuff so far.

Author's Response: Names are awkward, aren't they? I find it increasingly difficult to avoid a name that clashes with a kid I've taught, and then you get the counter-problem, when you meet a kid with the same name as a character you've written. That's only happened once so far...

 Report Review

Review #17, by Loopy456 The Sting

27th February 2012:
Another excellent chapter I must say. I'm glad that Joshua got to go and visit Theo with Greg so he wasn't so lonely. I also love your little twist with Morgan. As soon as they started yelling about a rash suddenly appearing I just knew what was going to happen next! Quite by coincidence I am also planning a similar little twist for 'Memories' so I hope you won't think I am copying you in any way when it occurs in several chapters time.
Chapter 8 is of 'Memories' is now up if you'd like a read and Chapter 9 should be following in a couple of days depending on the validation time. I shall look forward to your updates - I getting drawn into both stories so I hope you continue them both!

Alex :)

Author's Response: Every single idea ever written has already come up somewhere else several dozen times before; don't worry about it! I look forwards to seeing where you take it, as Morgan has his part to play here.

I think I've had a read through of Memories 8, but not had the time to leave a proper review yet. I'll get onto it!


 Report Review

Review #18, by BKL8008 Discovery

23rd February 2012:
Nothing like a little early adolescent bonding, is there? I liked the bit with RoR. Convenient thing to have around, isn't it? You've brought up an interesting subject, too - what to do when Magic fails, and how can it be stripped and/or restored? You're certainly making better progress than I am!

Author's Response: It's a magnificent bit of plotting by JKR, brilliantly and oh-so-subtly foreshadowed first time around by Dumbledore on the topic of chamberpots...

It's a topic that I've seen touched in fanfiction once before - Alfred Weasley in the We Belong series - I hope I do half as good a job, but I doubt it!


 Report Review

Review #19, by Loopy456 Discovery

23rd February 2012:
I really like the idea for the Room and Requirement. And also that's an interesting twist with Prof. Tregeagle, about him maybe not being able to do magic again. I really do like your writing style as well, by the way and I look forward to your next update, be it on this story or your other one.
Oh, and the next chapter of 'Memories' is now up if you'd care to take a look :)

Alex

Author's Response: Thanks. That's going to end up as another one of those intriguing subplots if I don't get things straight in my head rather soon!

Looks like the queue's about to die out again so hopefully the next few chapters of both stories can get up pretty sharpish. I'll head over to check out "Memories" now!


 Report Review

Review #20, by Loopy456 Convalescence

18th February 2012:
Yay, a new story! And yay, back to Devon! (If only for a paragraph or two...) This looks like a really promising start. When they wished to find somewhere that no-one else knew about I just knew that it would be the Room of Requirement. I can't wait to find out what they get up to in there. Great start!

Author's Response: Ta. Lots of scene-setting and character development coming up as I try and get the plot set straight in my own mind. Midway through Ch6 now and starting to get wheels into motion. Keep an eye out for Snake Bites, the 2017 story...

 Report Review

Review #21, by BKL8008 Convalescence

16th February 2012:
Glad to see you're off to such an interesting start on your Book 2 here!

Author's Response: Thanks :)

I am still, as I said, torn between two routes for the sequel but this "second year" is starting to take better root in my mind as I get drawn into it. I am starting to find subplots, and add depth to what had originally been walk-on characters, and the process of writing is starting to flow much more easily now after a few tougher weeks.

As Stuart Pearce once said, I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.


 Report Review

Review #22, by _Leo_ Convalescence

15th February 2012:
Yay, the next instalment is up :)

I can dive right back in with Greg, and hope there's more soon. And the boys get to explore Hogwarts all on their own, though it looks like Josh is really taking the events from their last year hard.
Good start, and as I said, I'm looking forward to the next chapter,
xxx Leo

Author's Response: I still haven't quite decided whether I'm writing this year or 2017-2018 next, however having written 15,000 words and five chapters of each of them, I figure I'm not going to make that decision so I'll just publish both and see what kind of feedback I get.

Plan is to publish alternate chapters over the next couple of weeks, then take stock and see what's going down best. Odds are I'll just end up writing both anyway as it keeps my brain from frying on one plot.

I figure it'd be difficult for Josh to react much different to this... although I can't say more as it'll spoil the backstory coming up in Ch2...

Thanks for reading, as ever!

Sheriff


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login