Reading Reviews for their 7th year
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Spartan333 hogwarts express

31st March 2013:
I liked the idea, and even thought of writing something similar. I have two problems though. When a person who was not speaking begins to speak, in answer, retort, or changing subject, writers must begin a new paragraph. Please fix this, because i was very confused. Second, I believe you might have missed the period key a couple times while writing this, try getting a new keyboard, or have that one you have looked at. Other than those two, i loved it.

 Report Review

Review #2, by potterhead42 sorting hat?

20th February 2012:
i really enjoyed thoose first to chapters. i hope u update soon.


 Report Review

Review #3, by Miss Muggle hogwarts express

16th February 2012:
Overall, this is a good first attempt.
I would like to share some things that I wish somebody had told me on my first fanfiction.
Break up some paragraphs. It can be difficult to read big blocks of text.
Watch your spelling/grammar/capitalization/punctuation. Betas, or even spell check, can be extremely helpful.
I know how difficult it is, but make sure to show instead of tell as much as possible. There are some incredibly useful sites out there if you need help.
In the summary, it isn't necessary to add "basically, this is what the story is about" when it already tells that very well. It detracts from the eye grabbing a bit. Also, there are some spelling and capitalization errors in it.
I think your characters were in character, which is wonderful. Your plot seems great and interesting. I actually really like the idea of this fic. There are definitely a lot of ways you could go and I think you'll do well.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login