Reading Reviews for Fall For You
  
54 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Christalle... Again We're Good, For Now

12th March 2013:
I hope you don't just leave/abandon it, I really miss this story and the Rose/Jonathan thing (I'm against it, but I really miss reading this story) And, I WANT TO READ MORE

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Review #2, by Christalle We're Good, For Now

9th February 2013:
I HAVE BEEN WAITING SINCE LAST YEAR. LIKE MAD.

Author's Response: oh my god I am so sorry I feel like such a bad person :(

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Review #3, by MadiMalfoy We're Good, For Now

16th December 2012:
This is getting curiouser and curiouser.liking it so far! One suggestion I have is to slow down the plot just a little, let it thicken up and build tension until the boiling point where rose and scorpius finally realize they're meant to be together. Happy holidays! :)

Author's Response: thank you! this was my first fanfic, so i have noticed that the plot runs really quickly. happy (belated) holidays to you!

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Review #4, by I_trusted_Snape13 Burying the Hatchet

21st July 2012:
Aw, Scorp and Rose are friends now! Yay! :)

Author's Response: haha I wouldn't say friends.but sure :)

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Review #5, by I_trusted_Snape13 What are Cousins for?

21st July 2012:
I liked this story! It's very believeable with the characters. Keep going! :D

Author's Response: Thanks! I'll try and update soon.

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Review #6, by Gryff_Girl0208 We're Good, For Now

21st July 2012:
I just finished reading what you have so far; and I must say, it's really quite excellent. I love how many differennt directions this story could go - Rose and Scorp end up cheating on Jon/Bon or the pairs break up or you could even go the whole midsummers night's dream route and have everyone fall for the WRONG person. You really have yourself quite an excellent story going here, I can't wait to see how you run with it. Update soon! :D

Author's Response: I will try so hard to update. Writer's block :(

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Review #7, by M We're Good, For Now

12th July 2012:
Please please update I check every day to see if you have!!

Author's Response: I'm so sorry! I've been really busy since I'm taking summer classes.

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Review #8, by Brittany We're Good, For Now

23rd June 2012:
write more i love it!

Author's Response: more will be up soon!

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Review #9, by Christalle We're Good, For Now

6th June 2012:
This is sooo god! I've been waiting for an update. Are u going to continue this or just abandon it?

Author's Response: i'm sorry, i have a lot of finals right now, but i'll try to update sooner in the summer.

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Review #10, by The Little Romantic We're Good, For Now

9th May 2012:
Pretty good so far. I think what you do with the plot depends on how quickly you want things to go. I ultimately think Rose should end up with Scorpius. Whether she gets fed up with Jonathan and breaks up with him via anger. Or if he breaks up with her because he wants to be her first priority, not her last. In the meantime, since Scorpius and Rose have to work together for the rest of the semester they should have to work on something outside of class, therefore Jonathan could get jealous and annoyed.

Author's Response: good ideas :) I'll definitely take them into consideration.

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Review #11, by Willow We're Good, For Now

23rd April 2012:
Love it! I want to know how Bonnie and Scorp turn out, as well as how Jonathan and Rose get along. You should write a chapter with Scorpius's POV, that would be epic!!!

Author's Response: oooh great idea :D

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Review #12, by AriesGirl40 We're Good, For Now

23rd April 2012:
Sounds to me like Rose id trying to compare her relationship to her peirs and not coming out with the answer that she would like. She likes Johnathan, but when they fight, it's not very constructive. He gives in too fast, and apologises for nothing. She needs a lion, not a mouse. I'm sure she will figure that out. Great chapter, gave me something to contimplate.

Author's Response: And who would that lion be.? xD Something else for you to contemplate. Jonathan is not as mousy as he seems...

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Review #13, by MercyWaters The Beginning: Starting from First Year

22nd April 2012:
I am here from the review tag. :)

This was a nice start to the story. I've always liked Next Generation fics, and out of the Next Gen Rose, Albus and Scorpius are definitely my favorite, so I'm interested to see where this is going.

One big thing I noticed--you should show, not tell. Use more description and don't outright tell the reader what is happening or how the character is feeling. Tell them through observations and description. Use the 5 senses. Describe what the character is seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling, maybe even tasting, if appropriate. The dialogue could be a bit smoother as well. Try not say "and said" before the speaking line, it sounds a bit awkward. Use it after.

I feel like the relationship/rivalry between Rose and Scorpius sprouted a bit too fast. I understand she's only 11 and so hearing such a biased opinion from her father would have a large influence on her, but you have to remember they've only just met. I feel like she wouldn't be so insulting and forward with him yet. Maybe she would get rubbed the wrong way by his attitude and find him irritating, but I feel like it's unrealistic to confront him in such a way, especially since she's just gotten to Hogwarts and been sorted and probably would have other things on her mind. But that's just my opinion, I'm starting to ramble now, haha.

Other than those things, I thought this was good. I thought the little addition about Ron not being able to stand Viktor Krum "for no apparent reason" was clever. I also thought your sentence usage/structure was good. There weren't too many run on sentences and you didn't overuse your commas, which is usually a big problem with writers. I also enjoyed how you put Albus in Slytherin--that's how I always imagined it would turn out, despite the little bit of Albus being so afraid of that in the DH Epilogue.

This was a good chapter, keep writing! :)

Bri, xx

Author's Response: Thanks for all the constructive criticism, i appreciate it. I'll try and change some of the stuff :)

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Review #14, by RageGirl Trouble in Paradise

20th April 2012:
Will you ever update again!? Gr... Update.Update.Update!!

Author's Response: next chapter is in the queue :)

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Review #15, by AJPotter Trouble in Paradise

7th April 2012:
watchoutfornargles

Great story, I hope you one day write an amazing novel. I will be reading and reviewing the rest of your stories. This one just caught my eye.

Keep up the great writing.

AJPotter

Author's Response: Thank you :)

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Review #16, by Remus What are Cousins for?

6th April 2012:
Perelandra here with your second review.

While your story has no grammar errors, you still have a long way to go. I really commend you for the lack of grammar and punctuation making your story really coherent.

Plot wise, this is still moving slow but its just the second chapter.

Also, you seem to be going against canon already as Luna's kids were Lysander and Lorcan, twins. I have no idea if this was on purpose or if you didn't know. Also, if you wanted the reader to know that Ginny and Xeno were Luna's children, you could've given a back story a bit...because it seems that Luna is a single mother despite the fact that in your A/N you fully acknowledge that they would not have Luna's last name.

Imagery, Imagery, Imagery. That's something you really need to work on because otherwise your story feels very choppy. Imagery helps the reader see through Rose's eyes. First person POV is hard, because you have to portray the emotions that your character is feeling, what they're seeing, and their view of the world around them with limited narration.

You did made me laugh when she asked herself about "which one?" regarding her cousins.

Overall, I suggest that you get a beta reader that can help you out.

I hope that don't think that I'm being harsh. I'm just being honest. Feel free to re-request again if you wish once I'm open.

--Perelandra

Author's Response: you're not being harsh at all :) thanks for all of the advice, i changed some of the things you suggested.

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Review #17, by Remus The Beginning: Starting from First Year

5th April 2012:
Hey! Perelandra here with your review. Sorry it has taken forever and ever to review but better late than never, right? :)

Alright so the first thing I noticed was in the third paragraph "something of the like my mind wandered and my eyes wandered around the train station" I believe there needs to be a comma after 'like'. And when it comes to flow, you could've just written 'my mind and eyes wondered' instead of just repeating yourself making it feel a bit awkward.

What's with Al? He seems like a jerk even without doing much. And he's just 11 and treating his cousin like..well, I can't add that word on the review page. He seems well out of character. I've read stories where Al is sorted into Slytherin and he's either in panic or accepts the Sorting Hat's decision. However, he wouldn't sit quiet when Scorpius calls Hermione a mudblood, she's his aunt after all! And grew up to be tolerable.

Another thing is pacing. A lot seemed to happen in this chapter and it definitely felt choppy. You started out fantastic but when you have dialogue you seem to lack description. Imagery will always give the reader a picture in their head instead of 3 kids in a compartment talking. Specially when you're doing it in first person point of view.

For now this is it.

On to the next chapter.

--Perelandra

Author's Response: i changed all of the things you suggested, thanks.

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Review #18, by Dmlong Trouble in Paradise

3rd April 2012:
Amazing chapter! Loved it. I loved how your making Rose & Scorpius spend more time together. Interested to see what happens between them! Update soon please! I can't wait to read more!! :))

Author's Response: i will try to update as soon as i can :)

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Review #19, by Dmlong Good Job, Rose

3rd April 2012:
Haha way to go Rose! Cute chapter I loved it! :)

Author's Response: thanks :) :)

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Review #20, by Dmlong There's A First Time For Everything

3rd April 2012:
Ugh oh Rosie still has a thing for Scorpius!! I sense trouble in the future. It was cute that they all started dating at the same time though. Great chapter!! :))

Author's Response: Okay good, everyone finds it cute, not creepy :) Who said Rose liked Scorpius? 0.0

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Review #21, by Dmlong Surprises

3rd April 2012:
Omg loved it! :) Scorpius & Rose crack me up. I sense a lot of fighting in their future. Can't wait to read more, actually I'll do that now. :))

Author's Response: You sense right :)

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Review #22, by Dmlong Burying the Hatchet

3rd April 2012:
I love this story already! :) Can't wait to see what's in store for Rose!!

Author's Response: thank you :) It means a lot.

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Review #23, by Moonyxluna Trouble in Paradise

3rd April 2012:
*does little Rose/Scorpius cheer*

Yay for rough times with Jonathan! Oh flitwick, I could hug you! Assigning partners, and Rose and Scorpius! Oh the tension is so beautiful!

I know I said this before but I love the banter between them! I'm really getting a lovely sense of Rose's personallity, as well as Scorpius, and Bonnie and Celia. I like what you have done with these characters and I'm looking forward to reading more! Brilliant work dear!

Author's Response: Rose/Scorpius probably won't happen just yet ;) Wait a while and see...

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Review #24, by Moonyxluna Good Job, Rose

3rd April 2012:
Loved this chapter! I got a bit deeper of a sense of Rose's personallity here, so brilliant work with that. Again, I love all the banter between Rose and Scorpius :)

I especially loved this -- "Not really," I said, "Pompous, ___ Slytherin versus Smart, Handsome Gryffindor. Decisions, decisions." I laughed for a while on that one :D

I really love the triangle you have set up here! Jonathan's so sweet, but I can see the startings of her maybe getting bored with him? Maybe i'm reading too much into it or looking for some Rosieus :p but I think she's already beginning to realize that her and Scorpius (which, btw I love what you have done with his personallity) would be a good fit for eachother. She just wouldn't admit it at this point :D

lovely work!

Author's Response: Rose and Scorpius might be good for each other, but their problems would make them explode, in my opinion. Maybe they'll work out their issues? ;)

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Review #25, by Moonyxluna There's A First Time For Everything

3rd April 2012:
ahh, leave it to the boys to plan out an all ask out the girls on the same night! I loved the bit where Rose asked if they did, and Jonathan denied it, only to admit it a second later :) I liked Jonathan's asking out, but I thought Al's was the cutest.

TOTALLY noticed the bits of jealousy (Rose can deny it all she wants, but I saw it) Rose was shoving away throughout the chapter, which I thought you did a brilliant job throwing in subtily. I just noticed because I'm on Team Rosieus here. BUT for now, I guess I can like Jonathan for a bit :)

so.. this is deffinately going on my favorites list. I'm really enjoying reading it and you're totally getting extra reviews because I am really loving reading this.

I didn't think it moved too fast, for the little part I mentioned eariler. I think that you showed that the boys sort of 'planned' to ask the girls out made what seemed like 'fast moving' really just gave it a bit of humor and adorableness!

Last line: Rose, you care because you like Scorpius!! :p

Author's Response: Hahaha, we'll see if Rose likes Scorpius :)

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