Hey! You chose a plot with quite some potential; I'm afraid you had problems with the execution of your idea. My point being, the scenes were short and abrupt; you should've added in more details and scenes to make your story more interesting and fluid for instance: one second she's picking up the twilight book and the next she just spotted some random guy at the pub and thought him to be a vampire. Description of how she made a first few wild guesses and then she ended up sitting with him would've made more sense and interesting. The idea of the whole Lavender wanting a Vampire boyfriend was unique; I don't really expect that kind of demand from her character but it's good to see you experiment with the
characterization. =) Good job!
~Recenseo '12Author's Response: Thanks! I appreciate the criticism. It helps me improve on my writing abilities, as not many people give it out! Anywho, thanks again :) Report Review
This is a very good start; really interesting and quite an original idea! I also found it to be quite humorous and can't wait to see where it goes from here! The flow and spelling/grammar were perfect! 10/10, adding to my favorites, and can't wait for an update!!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Report Review
This was funny, I think you really nailed Lavender's character! She definitely seems like she'd be a Twilight fangirl and I liked that you didn't have her expectations come true, knowing what we know about the vampires in Harry Potter not being the "beautiful and sparkly" type.
I really enjoyed this and I like to think Lavender and the vampire became friends, and maybe she did get that vampire boyfriend she wanted after all, even if it's not the way she'd hoped ;)Author's Response: :) Thanks for the review! And yes, Lavender did get herself quite the vampire boyfriend Report Review
Okie dokie, brithewriter from the forums!
I have to admit (and I don't mean to offend) but I think you are spot on with Lavender being the type of girl to try and find a vampire boyfriend after reading Twilight. Maybe that's the fanfic version of her, lol. Anywho this was pretty good, good job!Author's Response: Thanks for the review! :) Report Review
"They were supposed to be beautiful and sparkly"
this made my day. I should tell you, I have a huge soft spot in my heart for Lavender, so I love reading about her. This... just had everything I love; Humor, satire, and an adorable happy ending. brilliant job :) Thanks for this, I loved reading it.Author's Response: Thanks! Lavender is such a fun character to write :) Report Review
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