I like the cliffhanger, and I especially love this line "Their thirteen year old sister was ready to kill them. Needless to say, they were trembling in fear."Author's Response: Thanks so much! :D
I loved writing that line! ;D Report Review
This is so good, I am really intersted now! I wonder who is supposedly dead, please update soon!Author's Response: Thank you so very much! :D
Who died is revealed in chapter two, which is up now! (:
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Hey, I posted on your status about the review swap, so here I am!
Oh god. I want to read more!! This was very brilliant. I loved how happy the beginning was, and James' character is brilliant, as well as Al's. God if I was magical, and my parents threatned 'normal school', yeah I'd be an angel too :) I loved how you had the mood very abruptly stopped by the news, it roped me in to wanting to read more!
I do have two suggestions, and they're just a small ones :) first, i'd keep an eye on your sentance lengths. There were a few spots where I think that two shorter sentances would have worked more effectivly than one long one; makes sense? Second, and this is completely up to you either way, but having a telephone was a bit weird for an all magical family, I think getting an owl would make sense. Although, I can see why you would use a phone, being that the news of someone dying is almost too urgent to send an owl. Perhaps a patronus? Just suggestions, feel free to ignore :)
Again though, brilliant job! I'm looking forward to the next chapter, I want to know who died! God I immedetly went to thinking it was Hermione, and then Rose, when Harry went up and hugged Lily. I hope not though!! Great job!Author's Response: Sorry for just now responding! I had thought I'd already gotten to it, but realized I hadn't! :p Lol
I am so very glad that you enjoyed it! I'm happy you like the characters, I like them myself! Lol I wanted the scene to be normal, not eerie and ominous or anything haha (:
I'll work on both of those things! (: I didn't think of the patronus idea, so thank you! :D
Next chapter is up and who died is reavealed! It could be one of those people, but it might not be. ;p Lol
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