Reading Reviews for Hear us Roar
38 Reviews Found

Review #1, by harrypottergirl55 The Beginning of an Era

10th January 2013:
so so good! very sad, and really addictive keep writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!! New chapters up soon!!

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Review #2, by harrypottergirl55 The Beginning of an Era

10th January 2013:
so so good! very sad, and really addictive keep writing!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for stopping by to review, means a lot!! I'm getting back to writing now so hopefully new chapters shall be up soon!! Yay!!

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Review #3, by TimeSeer The Beginning of an Era

27th August 2012:
This is a great story! Please update soon!

Author's Response: Thankies!! I am updating soon, promise!

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Review #4, by Lizzie The Beginning of an Era

25th April 2012:

Author's Response: Aww thankies!! I'm going to update, promise!

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Review #5, by atellam The Beginning of an Era

16th March 2012:
Hey there, back with the second review ^_^ (see? I'm not always useless...)

+ “What’s a pureblood.”
- Might want a question mark there, yes? haha

There where one or two other things, but I can't find them again now.

Anyway, this chapter certainly picked up the pace, which was excellent. You got a lot in here, and while at some points I found the transitions jumpy, overall it was really well done. :)

I enjoyed your Marlene, and even though she'd blonde in canon, she seems fantastic. I also loved how you included Molly, even though she was already married. I found that really different. I just wish we'd had more of an introduction to her. But either way, I still really liked it.

The development of Ivy here was also interesting, and I hope to see her grow up a lot more now that she's at Hogwarts. I feel her mental growth has been a bit stunted due to her isolation, but i'm hoping she'll mature now that she's with people of her own age, etc.

Overall, this was a good chapter that really helped set up the story. How long is the Novel expected to span? You've got it set up for a long story line. ^_^

Anyway, again, i'm so sorry I took so long to get around to these reviews and hopefully you don't hate me.

Feel free to re-request and keep up the good work!
- Adele :)

Author's Response: Oh grammar's usually okay, will need to sort that...

Oh thanks!! So worried about that...

That's cool, think Marlene's near my favourite so she? Oops... Molly, I just love her so I had to include her, y'know??

Yeah, it was set up to be long I think, not sure now...hopefully once I get to writing it again it'll sort itself out...

Thanks for reviewing! You're awesome once again!


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Review #6, by atellam Growing Up Lonely

16th March 2012:
You must hate me, dear god. I am so sorry that this has taken me so long, but i'll review the next chapter as well because I feel so bad about keeping you waiting.

Anyway, on with the rest of the review :)

This was an interesting chapter, that hints at a lot for the upcoming stories, such as the two boys across the road (Sirius and Regulus?) and obviously sets up her introduction to Hogwarts. I didn't pick up on any spelling mistakes etc. so well done on that one ^_^ (though that might be because it's after midnight and haven't been to bed before 1am any night this week...)

Pacing and Flow - This went both ways, as some places it ran really well, others, I found it was a bit awkward. Pretty much after her dad calls out 'IVY' the flow becomes a bit jumpy. It's not BAD, it's just not as strong as it was before then. Just something you might want to look back over when you get a chance, because with some small fiddling there, I think it'll boost an already good chapter. :)

Plot - Well there wasn't much plot development, but it certainly helped set up the back story in an interesting way, which I suppose is vital for the plot... so yeah. A good base for building on, and done in a way that gives more characterisation to her parents and everything than flashbacks might. Nicely done. :)

Characterisation - This was interesting. You gave an interesting backstory to your protagonist, and tying Sirius in as her neighbour is an interesting approach. You've given us a good base for her character to build upon, and i'm interested to see that. She certainly seems unique so far, if not her situation then her voice.

I think that's everything I wanted to talk about... So on that note, I'm going to pop over and review the next chapter because I kept you so long for this one. (So, so, so, SO sorry about that. D:)

Keep up the good work,
- Adele.

Author's Response:'s been almost a year...I'm so sorry for not replying! Kinda dropped off of the HP world for a LONG while, so so sorry!!

That's cool, intros are always so hard to get right, I'm glad you think I've done an alright job...yeah, Sirius and Regulus.

Yeah, reading it back I totally see what you mean, I'll try my best to fix that...Think it was because I was trying to put all of it down at once maybe?? I dunno, but thanks for pointing it out

Thanks! I always find the start so hard, cause I've got it all in my head and I'm just wanting to tell everything at once, then I have to tell myself to hold back...

Ivy, gawwd, had to try so hard to make her NOT cliche, like your lavvely Keira. Glad you think she's interesting and not just another Sirius' OC Mary-Sue type.

Thanks for being such a fab reviewer! You are awesome and sorry for being so horrid at replying...


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Review #7, by ShieldSnitch3 If All Time is Unredeemable

15th March 2012:
Why, hello there! It's ShieldSnitch3 from the forums here with your review!

So. Yeah. Wow. You asked for my thoughts, there they are :p Seriously, this is really good. You asked if I would want to read more, and I definitely do. You've got me hooked :)

Okay, now onto a real review. First off, I /loved/ the opening line. It was so blunt and short, but it pulled me in. It was kind of a daring move, to be honest, but it worked. Also, I love the lack of dialogue in the chapter. It makes this feel like a prologue, which I guess is appropriate, as it's the protagonist looking back on her life. So yeah, the lack of dialogue added a lot to the tone/mood of the chapter. Just make sure to add some in once the story gets rolling.

I was really intrigued by the theme of the chapter. It's a fascinating concept, really, like the butterfly effect. It's got me wondering what type of choices she made, and how those choices screwed up her life so much. There was this one bit I really loved:

"Then again, maybe it wouldn't have made any difference. Maybe the decisions we make in life are what define us, and to wish a one hadn't been made is something of a sin against ourselves."

Sorry, I'm a philosophy nerd. I love thinking about deep and meaningful questions like this. GAH. That's probably why I'm freaking out about this chapter ;)

I also liked how you started putting in a bit of characterization in this chapter - not too much, but just enough for us to keep in mind as we read on. Talking about the bit that starts with "One boy wouldn't see the implications of his Sorting before it's too late..." here. So yeah, I loved the subtle hints about what's coming up.

All in all, I thought you had a very well written chapter that definitely drew me in to the story. The only slliight issue I found was a few mechanics mistakes, but they were so small that it's hardly worth mentioning. I'm just a grammar freak and pick up on the smallest things, so don't worry. It was just little things like a missing comma in one sentence and two apostrophe marks in a contraction. Overall, the grammar was very good.

Anyway, I hope this review helped! If it did, feel free to re-request because I really want to read more and I'm afraid that I'll forget unless you remind me because life is super-busy right now and I'm rambling so I apologize and I'll stop now :)

Author's Response: Sorry I'm like a year late in responding...

Aww thankies!! That's exactly what I was going for, the WOW factor. Kidding...but it's amazing you think that!

That's cool, I was really worried about opening like this, it's so ambiguous and there's like no story or anything, so I'm glad you're getting it!!

I KNOW, right?? I love being all philosophical, adding frustrating mysterious questions, love that you love it!

Kind of wanted to put one action to one main character, so hopefully later we'll see whose actions caused what, if you get what I'm meaning??

Aww that old enemy of mine, so annoyed a few mistakes got through!!

Thanks for reviewing, sorry the reply's so late again! You're a super reviewer!

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Review #8, by littlemisssnape The Beginning of an Era

12th March 2012:
Oh, I can't wait for the next chapter! I'm enjoying this story immensly. please update soon!

Author's Response: Oops, sorry I've not replied at all for like nearly a year, but I do intend to write this again so...stay tuned!

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Review #9, by littlemisssnape If All Time is Unredeemable

12th March 2012:
I absolutely loved it!!! It's so well written and I enjoyed every word. I am literaly shaking and can't wait to start reading the next chapter!

Author's Response: Cheers m'dears, means so much that you'd stop by to leave a wee review


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Review #10, by PhoenixCatchingFire Growing Up Lonely

10th March 2012:
Wow, her life sucked that much in Hogwarts that she'd rather stay at home?!
But AMAZING chapter! You write so good that it chases me all day long. Love it!!!

Author's Response: Thankies!! Chases you, wow...but thank you!!!


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Review #11, by DracoFerret11 The Beginning of an Era

5th March 2012:
Okay! Me again!

Well, some thoughts before my actual review: I think it's a little bit odd that Ivy named her teddy-bear and then her owl "Clive," even though she has no real connection to her father. And, other unrelated thought--when Sirius is sorted, you mention that the Slytherins throw food, but they don't even have food on their plates at that, that doesn't make sense. :P

Okay, real review time:

Characterization: I love everybody! Ivy is still going strong. She's very well-done and still believable. I like Marlene too. So sweet. :] I'm excited to see more of the Marauders, but I think James and Sirius are going well so far. I loved their chant. :D Good job with all the Gryffindor girls too. They look like they'll be good characters. Also, a sidenote: did you deliberately spell "Sirius" as "Serious" for the first part of the chapter?

Descriptions: there weren't as many of them in this chapter, but the length made up for that. I enjoyed hearing the little things about the characters. There could have been more descriptions of the setting though. :]

Plot: things are moving along! I'm interested to see where they go from here. You're doing very well. I like that Ivy is evolving, but not too quickly. Keep up the good work.

Overall, you've done a great job here. Keep it up. I think you have a promising story and you can take it far.


Author's Response: Really was such a long time ago, so I have no idea what I meant by calling both Clive. Maybe it was her attempt to connect to her absent father? Sounds clever...I'm sticking to that...and oops! Did not realise that at the time, that's getting changed :s

Love that you love Ivy so much! She really was someone I wanted to get right - at least I've got one person on board with her! Always the problem with the Marauders...characterising them effectively and in as little words as possible, but thanks! I love Marlene too! Yep, Ivy's little mistake, meant to be a joke but maybe it just looks like clumsy writing...hmm...

Yeah, I'm always so caught up in the characters that I forget about their next edits I'll try to fix that :)

Thank you! I know I'm responding so late but really I love your reviews! Love love love!! Better late than never, right?


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Review #12, by DracoFerret11 Growing Up Lonely

5th March 2012:
Hey there, it's me again!

Well...this is another good chapter! I really like how your character is evolving. So, we'll chat about different parts of this, okay? :D

Characterization: this! I've already sort of mentioned it, but I'd like to continue. I like the fact that Ivy isn't a Mary-Sue. She's really believable, so that's great. It's a bit cliche that she lives on Grimmauld Place, but it's not too terrible. Overall, I think this is probably one of your strongest points.

Descriptions: this is pretty great too! I like how detailed things are when Ivy describes them. It's a bit scary sometimes, but it's very good how realistic it is. She's got a good storyline and her background really forms her character.

Plot: I love that McGonagall came to get her, and the younger Molly Weasley was a good touch. I'm glad that things are sort of working out for Ivy. I thought that the ending was really poignant. I'm very curious to see where Ivy goes.

Style: I think you have a very distinct and well-done style. The way you write brings the story to life. I'm quite fond of it. :D

Anyway...overall, I think this was another very good chapter. I'll read the next one ASAP. Good job!


Author's Response: Yeah, I was realy worried about the whole Grimmauld Place thing, but seeing as it's all important to the story I let that one little cliche slide...

Love McGonagall, couldn't leave her out of it!! And I kinda wanted to explore wee Molly's character as well, so that's the route I took. Glad you liked it!

Aw thanks! Such a great review!

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Review #13, by DracoFerret11 If All Time is Unredeemable

2nd March 2012:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums, here with some reviews you requested a couple of weeks ago. I've been very busy, so I'm just getting to them. So, let's talk, shall we?

Characterization: I love starting with this because I feel like characters really make a story. This case is no different. I don't know anything about your character at this point, but she's wonderful. Very non-cliche, non-Mary-Sue. I like her a lot.

Voice: this was brilliant. I absolutely loved it. It was very professional and very well-done. I got chills. The only part where it slipped was in the last large paragraph before the end. But other than that: great job.

Descriptions: we didn't get too much here, but since it was sort of a prologue, that's fine. It didn't detract, but I'll be looking for some good imagery in the following chapters.

Plot: I'm really excited to read this story. I think you've started in a way that makes it promise to be incredibly interesting and I can't wait to see where you take it. GREAT job.

So, overall, I think you did terrifically with everything here. This is sort of a short review since it was a short chapter, but the other ones will be longer. Keep up the terrific work. I'll read the next chapter ASAP.


Author's Response:'s been nearly a year. I'm so SO sorry...there's no excuse dear!

Thanks so much for the whole non Mary-Sue thing, that's totally what I wanted to avoid. You have to be so careful with an OC to make her different from all the others, so I hope I achieve that. Thanks!

Great, em chills, really? Wow...thanks. I'll make sure to take a look at that last paragraph though. :)

Yeah I was kinda trying to keep the mystery with this wee prologue, glad you got that.

Thank you! Makes me so happy that you want to read the rest...thanks for reviewing, so sorry for being absent since like forever...


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Review #14, by acrownofroses The Beginning of an Era

2nd March 2012:
Great job! I really enjoy reading this story.

I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! You're awesome! ;P

Next chapter coming soon, I promise. Should have it in the queue by the weekend!


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Review #15, by Laugh A Lot If All Time is Unredeemable

2nd March 2012:
Ah I really enjoyed this story in a sad way! I'm glad your main character isn't all giddy and cynical but a nice person. And you have a lovely way of writing!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for being so nice about the first chapter! I wanted to make her different from other OCs and this is what happened, so hopefully it works. ;P


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Review #16, by LilyFire Growing Up Lonely

1st March 2012:
I think this is as good as the first chapter :) You are developing Ivy fairly well, and the style of your writing is wonderful. I do worry about how amazing she is with magic though, simply because I'm afraid that she'll turn into a Mary-Sue if you aren't a little careful with it. Right now, it's great though :)

This chapter was different that any I've read as well...I like it still.

Author's Response: This is such a brilliant review! Thanks for my comments about Ivy and my writing style - I really wanted people to know where she comes from so I can sort of justify things that happen later. ;P Trust me, magic is about the only thing she gets right during her time at Hogwarts, but even so when I come back to rerequest the next chapters (which I definitely will:)) I'd appreciate it if you tell me whether she's turning into Mary-Sue or not. ;)

Different from any other? That's brilliant. Thanks again for another amazing review!


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Review #17, by Elenia Growing Up Lonely

28th February 2012:
Heey! I'm so incredibly sorry of how late this review is! I mean ten days... But I'm here now, so let's get this review started d:

First of all, great chapter! I think you did an awesome job building up the mood in this. I felt so sad for Ivy as I read about all the abuse and dismissal she has had to go through in her life. It was really heartbreaking and I wanted so much to save her from that horrible base!

Amazing work on her character too. All the things she's had to go through have made her such a strong girl. And really talented! I can't wait to see what happens to her in the future, especially with her tendency to break the rules. How will she fit into Hogwarts...

All the other characters were great too! Especially McGonagall, she seemed to be very true to her canon. Oh and I loved that it was Molly that took Ivy to the Diagon Alley! Really nice idea to add her there.

The plot seems so interesting, I had big expectations after your first chapter because I really liked it, but you managed to even top what I was expecting to find! I really interested in what will happen next. I'm hoping Ivy will finally find happiness in Hogwarts, but I'm sensing more trouble on the way.

Oh, and all the little details you kept dropping here and there! I really loved those!

Hopefully you'll come and re-request! I'll promise to get to you faster the next time!

Happy writing!


Author's Response: Hey there! Don't worry about the lateness (I'm like thirteen days or something behind on my thread so I can hardly talk ;P).

Thanks so much for such a great review! I'm so glad this is what you felt about Ivy's life because I was trying to convey how dismal it really was, and how it was utterly without hope...until Hogwarts. Before most of my OCs have been really quite flat and unmemorable - I wanted to make Ivy a real person and so lavished a whole chapter on her character development. ;P Rule breaking extraordinaire...that's all I'm saying.

McGongall is my favourite character, and Molly's a close second, so I just had to include them. I really couldn't stomach leaving the Weasleys out, because that would be bad...);

I'm so happy I met your expectations! And yes, Ivy's journey will be stressful but hopefully it'll be good.

I'll definately be back to rerequest, loving your reviews. :)


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Review #18, by PhoenixCatchingFire If All Time is Unredeemable

28th February 2012:
I have nothing to say. I'm just speachless.
Where did this beautiful chapter come from?!
You just owned yourself a fan from Israel. XD
But seriously, amazing chapter. So confusing, so dark, so perfect. I'm dieing for another one. Fast!! :D
XX Netta

Author's Response: Thanks so much for such an amazing review! I swear I had a smile on my face all the while reading it - you are awesome to the extreme! I like to think that the chapter came from my own equally-awesome mind ;P, but that's just me so...

*insert sarcastic sigh here*

But seriously thanks for reviewing, every single one mean so much to me and you taking the time to write down your thoughts on my writing is appreciated muchly (if that's a word)...


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Review #19, by MERLINEXISTSWITHINMEFOREVER The Beginning of an Era

28th February 2012:
This is amazing! Please write more??? This is one of my favourite stories :D

Author's Response: Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!

I had the next three chapters all written up and ready, but I had a bit of a catastrophe and I ended up losing about 20,000 words - argh! I've written up about half of the next chapter (again) so it should be up within the week.

I love you!


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28th February 2012:
I really love this, and I also think that the way you showed her magical abilities was amazing- also the fact that he barely knew anything about the wizarding world! :D also, i hate clive. ;)

Author's Response: Wow, thanks for reviewing again! I'm glad you thought her magical abilities were described well - I was really worried about that part - and I sort of wanted to give the sense that if you read this, you were sort of rediscovering what it felt to be magical, and how much of a privilege it seemed to muggleborns. ;P


(I also hate Clive. ;))

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Review #21, by mollytaylor If All Time is Unredeemable

27th February 2012:
Okay, so I'm hooked! Seriously, I love this story; first chapter instantly pulls me in. You wrote it a way that gives me enough information to already know what's going to happen (in a very general sense), but it makes me want to know more. It's great!

Author's Response: Wow, hooked already? Amazing! Seriously, I love you for writing this lovely review ;P and I'm so SO happy that's the way you thought about the chapter - that's exactly what I was going for!

Thank you!


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Review #22, by atellam If All Time is Unredeemable

27th February 2012:
Hey there, here to review :)

Alright, first up, I think this is a pretty interesting introduction to the story. Like, it gets you REALLY intrigued. The absence of dialogue, i'm guessing was done with the deliberate attempt to add to the atmosphere of this chapter (more a prologue really, but oh well.)

I also find the way she's reflecting on her life to be interesting as you wonder what's happened up to this point. Maybe it's because my thoughts always follow the same thought pattern, link this as a reaction to that, which was caused by this, which was a result of something that happened that was far out of anyone's control, yet if something had happened differently as the results trickled down to that moment, everything would change. Or maybe they wouldn't, because at the end of the day, maybe your insignificant to the master plan.

But anyway, enough of my rambling.

Quick tip, when editing, check out the simple editor. I think you might find it far easier to centre the chapter image (i think that's what you were going for (it's brilliant by the way)) and the heading text, with html coding. Also, getting rid of some of the spaces between the breaks would help tidy it up. It's no big deal, but thought i'd point it out, just in case :)

I think this is a good start to what promises to be a great story, and I hope you re-request. (I'm so busy at the moment, normally i'd review two (sorry about that.))

Keep up the great work, and you have the promises of a brilliant plot line in the making here. Well done,
- Adele :)

Author's Response: Wow, thanks for such a good review! You guessed right, the dialogue was absent on purpose to adds to the mystery. And you're so right, this is meant to be a prologue, but I couldn't really justify sending the chapter in for edits just to change that. ;P

I'm so glad you saw her reflecting on her life like this, because that's exactly what it's supposed to be like. Sort of to make you think in later chapters "is this what she was talking about at the beginning of the story?"

Thanks so much for suggesting this! I did want to centre the image and everything else, so this is the answer to my prayers. I didn't realise there were weird spaces, and I'll sort it out as soon as possible. ;)

Thanks so much for your comments, and don't worry about it - I know what being busy is like :) I'll certainly be around to rerequest - your reviews are amazing!


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Review #23, by City Lights The Beginning of an Era

27th February 2012:
I love the story, please please please continue with it!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing - I'll be updating soon!


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Review #24, by MERLINEXISTSWITHINMEFOREVER If All Time is Unredeemable

26th February 2012:
This is amazing, I'm already hooked! I could never even dream of writing something amazing as this, it is brilliant!!! Keep writing- i'll try to read the next chappy as soon as possible, but i need to go to bed for now :( cya!!! xxx

Author's Response: *squee*
Thanks so much for leaving such a nice review, you inflated my ego greatly. ;P I'll be sure to upload the next chapter very soon and I hope you like the next two as much as you liked this one!


(love your penname by the way...)

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Review #25, by ginerva_molly_weasley Growing Up Lonely

25th February 2012:
This was such a sweet chapter.

At first it was very hard reading because you told about child abuse and to be honest it really is such a sensitive subject that most authors wouldn't even attempt to broach is as it could be in violation of TOS and a whole heap of other things but I think you've done it really well as to not over glamorise it but instead make sure that you show the effect it actually has on the child.

I love the way you've made her mother seem indifferent towards her, instead only using her for social occasions and to be a middle class child, who will one day make a good house wife. The use of the governess is shown to be crucial in this as it increases the readers feelings about the mother's indifference towards Ivy because she doesn't even care about her enough to bring her up herself.

I love the way you actually introduced McGonagall into this story by Ivy introducing her to us as a woman in a dressing gown. That was quite comical but also showed the innocence of a young child's mind. I also think it was a good use of juxdeposition as you expected Ivy to get in a lot of trouble for running away, instead she was met by her saviour.

I was interested to see Ivy's mother's reaction to Ivy being taken to a boarding school as she seemed like she didn't want to let Ivy go, although I am almost positive that you intended this to be shown in the way that Ivy's mother only wanted to keep her around for her own personal gain which was good.

The part I found very interesting was Ivy's father in this mainly because he wasn't mentioned very much, so didn't seem to have a big part in his daughters life. I think you've shown him to be quite an influential character despite his lack of appearences. He seemed to be able to change Ivy's mother's mind about letting Ivy go but he was also the one that gave McGonagall the money which allowed Ivy to move onto a better life. (I know she could have gone to Hogwarts anyway but it made nice reading).

By showing Ivy's magical potential already through the events that she's already done, you show already that she is a very powerful witch particularly by saying she saw through the fidelius charm which I can only assume belonged to number 12 grimmauld place seem as you said she lived at number 5.

My one critisism in this would be that you showed that Ivy had brought two pets whilst in Diagon Alley which would have been against school rules as they're only allowed one but I think by including Molly Weasley in the Diagon Alley scene, you showed how easily Ivy was able to fit within the wizarding world.

This chapater was a very good read and I can't wait for you to re-request so I can read on!

Author's Response: Hey again!

I really was worried about adding the child abuse in, it's really a sensitive issue which could mean so much to a reader. In the end I chose to add it because I felt that people really had to see how horribly desperate Ivy's life was, and how magic saved her from it, if you know what I mean. So I'm really happy that you think I've done the subject justice.

Again the mother was another reason why Ivy's life was horrible, and I'm so glad you've picked up on the reason why I got Mrs Thimmel in to raise Ivy.

McGonagall's my favourite character, so yes I had to have her in here at some point. The dressing gown part was my favourite so I'm happy you mentioned it.

Yeah, I did mean for her mother to want to keep her for very selfish reasons. She's an upper-middle class lady, expected to have an obedient daughter she can take out and flash around whenever she feels like it. So she hates this idea of Ivy being magical and leaving her without an accessory to show off at parties. I hope I explained it properly.

The father was a strange one for me. At first there was no father, he'd died, but this guy just seemed to add more to Ivy's terrible life - having a father who'd only seen her a few times in eleven years. The reasoning behind him giving Ivy money is because it's expected of them by society to make sure their child is well-looked after. So he was only doing it because if he didn't, there might be the chance that some high-society woman recognised Ivy and spread about that she wasn't looked after.

I'm so happy you picked up on the Grimmauld reference, and yes you're right by saying the Fidelius charm belonged to the Blacks' house.

Oh my goodness I can't believe I forgot about that rule. In next edits I'll just delete Clive (the owl) or make him one of the other girls' pet. Something like that should work. ;P

Thank you so much for taking the time to review this story so fully, I really appreciate it. I'm definitely coming to your thread - your reviews are amazing!


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