Reading Reviews for Traitor
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hedwigs_theme Prologue

17th June 2012:
Wow this is so good, even though it's short :) I really hope you add more chapters because this could turn out to be a really amazing story!


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Review #2, by Erised Prologue

19th March 2012:

What I liked in this nice and short prologue was your form. You've used a lot of short and sharp sentences, which is great at portraying Pettigrew's emotions and raising the tension of the piece. I also liked the single word sentences at the beginning of each paragraph which really set the tone for the rest of it, which was great. Pettigrew's emotions really come through as you demonstrate a whole range of emotional capacity for him which really gives the impression that he's mentally or emotionally unstable.

I found it a little descriptive towards the end - the sentences got longer and the piece lost some of its impact. You also might want to try to slow the pace a little, so that you can really explore Pettigrew's emotions fully.

Nonetheless, this remains a good, solid prologue which sets the mood. Well done!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I was hoping to make some impact with Peter's feelings, so yay for that!

I'll keep in mind what you said for the next chapters! Thanks again!

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Review #3, by Pen2Paper Prologue

12th February 2012:
So this is a very interesting character you've chosen to create a story around. I've always been insanely curious about Peter. The best friend of the great three. There must have been somethig truly great about him that made James, Remus and Sirius befriend him. I want to know your story :)
You've got a fair bit of grammar errors and some verb confusion which you can quickly sort out with a once-over edit or by getting a beta. Other than that this looks like a great prologue for a good story.
I'm very interested to know about Peter's past and hope to read an update on this story soon.
If you'd like me to review this story's future chapters bring it by my review thread in the forums! Peter Pettigrew is a rarely approached character. I can't wait to see how you write him.
Best of luck for the future chapters!


Author's Response: Hey there!

First of all, thank you for the review (was so excited when I read it :P) And I agree with you, Peter is such an underestimated character, but he was best friends with three amazing characters, there certainly has to be something about him!

I already got a Beta Reader, so those mistakes should be gone in no time! I'll be updating this weekend (hopefully) so stay tunned! :D

- Fooenti.

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