Reading Reviews for Seeing Scarlet
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MidnightMarauder A Train to Nowhere

27th January 2014:
Hello,
Just wanted to say that I'm enjoying this story, thus far. However, I also wanted to point out that this chapter seems to be cut off short--as in it's incomplete. Don't know if you'd noticed...

Thanks for sharing.
P.S. Your Remus is adorable!

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Review #2, by AlexFan Sink or Swim

23rd June 2013:
The only thing that I have to point out is that Remus, Peter, Sirius and James all sat in the same compartment on the train and they were all getting along fine. James and Sirius especially. I don't remember them not getting along or anything like that.

I have to say though, I do admire the cocky and arrogant attitude of Sirius though, it sounds exactly like what he'll be when he's older. I thought James was really funny. Especially when he said to Remus that he'd push Sirius off of the boat.

Anyway, awesome chapter!

Author's Response: Oh I do know that - Of course...but that would be why the story is an AU. I thought I made that clear in an author's note somewhere, but looking I don't believe I had. At least now I know what I need to go back and redo.

This was an experimental plot bunny with an AU Marauder's first year went a little...rockier...mostly because I'm a tad tired of *OMG let's be best friends for LIFE* right from the get go...and mostly because I while I love Sirius there are points were I could totally see him being a total arse. Ergo - plotbunny...which will rectify itself once I go back through and add in the aforementioned Author's Note. Thank you for pointing it out to me, though! I'd likely never had caught it at receive more flack for purposefully flaunting canon.


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Review #3, by AlexFan A Train to Nowhere

23rd June 2013:
That was such a sweet chapter! Peter seems like a lovely child to hang around. He's so energetic and friendly, picturing him this way it's hard to imagine him turning evil and betraying his friends!

I love the easy friendship between Remus and him and I felt so had for Remus because he was so worried that he was going to get chucked out. Poor boy, I'll always feel bad for Remus and for what he's had to go through.

The only constructive criticism that I have is that there are a couple of grammar errors but other than that I'm really enjoying the story so far!

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Review #4, by AlexFan Prologue: Black as Their Name

23rd June 2013:
I've almost gotten all of your reviews! Marauder era stories are usually my favourite ones so I was super excited when I saw this one. This is competing with Friday's Child in terms of how much I like it. They're both really great and well written.

I don't know why this doesn't have more reviews considering that it's so interesting and well written! The only thing that I want to point out is that it was a little bit confusion to see who was talking with Sirius and Regulus.

Those two are similar yet so different in personality and I think that you really showed that! Anyway, off to the next chapter!

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Review #5, by dobbys_socks Sink or Swim

22nd May 2012:
And THERE'S the last line. Nice one.

I took what you commented on about from my last review into account while reading this, and yeah, I get it. I'm so glad you like criticism: I hate it when you review using it and then the author goes spazz at you. Anyway, I understand, so thanks for explaining.

A few typos but that's it. I have loved this story and cannot wait for the next lot of chapters to be up. Keep me posted!

Thanks for letting me review this!
~dobby~
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Yay! HPFF isn't cutting off my story endings anymore! This is cause for celebration!

Oh yeah, feel free to critique away - it's how we learn, after all - and it keeps you in line, definitely. Without criticism I'd be back to writing some of my nine-year-old self's ideas of what made good fanfiction...which was mildly terrifying, I'm sure!

I'm really glad you like it - and that you've enjoyed reviewing thus far. Once I figure out how to turn the next chapter into something sensible it will be up too, so there'll be something new for everyone!

Thanks FOR reviewing it!


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Review #6, by dobbys_socks A Train to Nowhere

19th May 2012:
What's the last line? NO!!!

There's some constructive criticism coming up here if you don't mind.

I'm not quite sure about your characterisation. Your Peter is more like Sirius, your Remus is like Peter, your Sirius is like James and your James is like Remus. Now, I'm someone who THRIVES on character portrayal and description, and this chapter has kind of disappointed me a little. I really like to see that happening and I haven't in this fic.

Apart from that, I loved the end. I mean how Peter and Remus were like, best friends when they'd only spent a few hours together. It was cute, and I loved it!

So, yeah, I think you should work on this for further chapters.

I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I'm just helping you to improve your story is all.

~dobby~
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Eeep...I see what you mean by the last line...I'll have that fixed in a jiffy.

Yay for constructive criticism! I'm all for that.

You bring up an interesting point about the characterization, although I think for this chapter I would like to defend my choices juuust a hint. I do recognize that there are set characteristics of all the Marauders, but in this chapter in particular my logic was this - it's a new situation, if you would. Emotions run weird when you go away to school. I started a new school when I was around this age and frankly while I'd consider myself to be a relatively extroverted person it scared the jeebus out of me starting again. That's my reasoning for a meek Remus - who in all fairness has a bit more at stake going away to school after all he's been through. I know my Peter is a little more...confident than usual but that's just how I see him; a jumpy, talkative little twerpy kid. I am planning to develop all the boys from this stage into their better-known counter parts, but I will definitely be taking a look through to see in my chapters if I can change anything monumental since you've brought it up.

I don't think you're being mean at all! In fact, I relish criticism more so than being told everything is sunshine and lollipops - because even I know it's not. I really do appreciate it when I get feedback on how I can go through and develop things better, so thank you for that.


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Review #7, by dobbys_socks Prologue: Black as Their Name

19th May 2012:
Ooh, nice! When the mean lady came into the fireplace I was thinking, I know who she is but I can't remember her name. And then she had the two boys and I was jumping up and down because I couldn't remember who they were. And then when she went, "Quiet Sirius" or something I was like, yes! Anyho...

I am very intrigued. Some of the dialogue was a bit confusing, so you should probably go over that, especially when you're alternating between Sirius and Regulus and when Mrs Black arrived.

It seems I've become a fan of the last line of your stories. Keep doing that! It's almost like a cliff-hanger that leads into the next chapter, and it's really exciting but also kind of mysterious. Good on you for writing this! I can't wait to finish it (in a good way)!

~dobby~
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Yay for creating some sort of suspense!

I will definitely take a look at the dialogue and see what I can tweak. I know writing Sirus and Regulus in this chapter was just...gah...mind-numbing at times. It used to be a LOT worse, trust me!

Really? Well, I do like to go out with a bang. I hope to get some chapters up soon to satisfy that curiosity.


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Review #8, by PolyJuice_ Prologue: Black as Their Name

14th February 2012:
WHOO! First review! This is really good, I'm working on it now. :)
Your sentence structure could be improved and you have some run-ons. Anyway, toodles!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, dear! Glad you like it, and think it's good - shall be working on the sentence structure definitely!

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