Reading Reviews for This Christmas
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by momotwins This Christmas

10th December 2012:
Ah I couldn't resist your Christmas one! And it's fun to read Marauders now and then ;)

Lily staying at school to avoid Petunia's Muggle future in-laws is so sad. Poor girl. Petunia is a pretty crappy excuse for a sister. And Lily's boyfriend is a big fat jerk too. What a crap Christmas.

I did want to point out though that it's only the boys who can't go to the girls' dorm (or the stairs turn into slides). The girls can go to the boys' dorm without that happening. ;) They thought girls were more trustworthy, according to Hermione.

The food baby made me laugh. My best friend always says that. Lily and James are cute together. And slipping in a "silent night" on Christmas, lol. James is a bit touchy (teenage boys!) but he's such a nice guy.

You jumped between tenses a few times - present tense here and there - and I noticed a spot where James is speaking but it's marked "I said". Aside from that, I didn't notice any grammatical or spelling errors, so nicely done :)

Author's Response: Aw thanks so much for this! I really enjoyed writing this piece last year for the secret santa and I'm so glad that everyone else is finding it to be cute as well. Yeah the whole past tense then present tense is something I have a hard time with. I'm really glad that you enjoyed this piece and thought it was a cute Christmas read. Thanks for taking the time to read and review!


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Review #2, by TenthWeasley This Christmas

2nd December 2012:
Hi, Erica! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to get to this review -- I started reading this earlier in the day, and then I had to put it on hold until just a little while ago. I didn't mean to keep you waiting so long!

This was a very cute one-shot! Since writing their pairing more in-depth, I've really come to an appreciation of the both of them together, and I love reading stories about them and seeing how other authors view their relationship. This was fluffy enough to warm me up as it was festive enough to put me into the Christmas spirit -- and yes, I was listening to Christmas music for the majority of the time I was reading this! I think it's sweet that James gave Lily that necklace, and that she was still wearing it a year later. It's like her finding David kissing that Ravenclaw girl was fate!

And I'm glad she gave James a chance, too. Poor guy -- in the best way, of course, because he had years to plan out just how to make everything perfect, didn't he? Every girl needs a James in their life. And is there really a better place for a first kiss than under a snow-speckled Hogwarts? I don't think that question even needs an answer!

This was very adorable, Erica. Thank you for pointing me in the direction of this story -- I enjoyed reading it! And hopefully will talk to you again before too much time passes! ♥ Good job!

Author's Response: Rachel! Your review just makes my day! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this oneshot! Your opinion really does mean a lot to me so to know that you enjoyed it and felt that I did a good job on it really warms my heart! Christmas music does help to keep you in the spirit and I'm glad that my story was festive enough to keep you in that mood, this was written with Last Christmas in mind! Yes every girl does deserve to have their own James who loves them so much that he has been planning for a date with her for as long as he can remember. Thank you so much for offering to leave a review! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!


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Review #3, by Ginny45 This Christmas

10th September 2012:
Hey! Tag you're it :P Not really review tag doesn't work that way but oh well.

I love Lily and James and I have read an absurd amount of fanfiction based on them. For me, this story was lovely. It outlined why they needed each other a lot more that most Lily/James stories which just point out the love/hate part. I don't think they hated each other as much as people seem to suggest, they had their moments.

I think this is a really unique way of getting them together as well. Not the normal shoving in a broom cupboard story, although there is something addicting about those.

The only thing that bothered me is she calls him James a lot. Not that her using his name is the problem, it just doesn't feel like natural dialogue.

"Voldemort has to be stopped and I will lay my life down before joining his crew or allowing them to live." James announced as he stopped in his place, looking at me. I really loved this, personally I think you captured James in that one section. It still showed them misunderstanding each other without them screaming at each other. It was very nicely done.
All in all, a really good Lily/James story.


Author's Response: I'm so glad that that one part really caught your attention and made you still see them not understanding each other but not yelling at each other. this was written as a christmas present last year and I'm so glad that so many people are really enjoying it! I'm glad that you felt it was an original way to get them together and not something that is seen a lot. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!


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Review #4, by Remus This Christmas

7th September 2012:
Heya! Perelandra once again with your second review! Sorry I've been slow at stuff. Hopefully I can get the third review done today before my friends come visit me.

Over all this was such a cute story! I liked how different it was from other Lily and James' first date. Its usually the same 'Lily slowly starts realize that she's in love with James' cookie cutter story line. However, the fact that she needed James to pretend to be her boyfriend just makes me laugh.

I find it cute that she wants to make the gift look perfect. Honestly, its something I would do since that's me several days before Christmas. It also reflects on how she is though. He's a perfectionist who leaves no room for imperfection. That's why James is the best match for her because he just brings chaos to her life.

Also, made me sad to see Lily's sadness about Petunia. The way you described her hurt really came through in this one-shot. James here is both cheesy and cute all at the same time! XD

The only tiny critique that I have is the line:

"So-"we both started before "gestured for me to continue.

You have the extra quotation mark and I think you're missing the word "he" in order for the sentence to make sense. But that's it though! :)


Author's Response: wow if thats the only mistake that you coud find than thats awesome! I didn't want this to be the usual story of james and lily in that she slowly falls in love with him but rather that it just happens when she finally gives him a chance only because she created the lie in the first place that she was dating him. I'm glad that you enjoyed this stroy! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #5, by Siriusgirl This Christmas

4th September 2012:
Hi, it's me!
Thanks for your submission into the First Date Challenge! Great job, it's fun seeing how James and Lily first got together and I like the backstory about her ex boyfriend. The awkward and tentative nature between them definitely fit considering the tension between them. I hope James hexed Lily's ex into next week. Great job! Results will be up soon.

Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed this oneshot! I wrote it as a christmas present last year and I'm glad that so many people are finding it to be a good read. I wanted there to be more than just a cute romance, it needed a reason especially since its a james/lily and i'm glad that it works for everyone else as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!


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Review #6, by daretodream This Christmas

25th August 2012:

Oh, I love James/Lily! They're my OTP and this one shot was absolutely adorable!

I like your reasoning for why exactly Lily finally decided to go on a date with James. I think that a lot of people just spontaneously throw them together, but I like that there is a reason why: he did her a favor, and this is her favor in return.

James was so cute in this one shot! I felt bad for him all of the times that he got flustered or when Lily wasn't taking him seriously.

Lily's ex boyfriend is a real jerk, huh? Man, thank goodness James is saving her by being a complete sweetheart.

I liked this one shot! Good work!


Author's Response: thank you so much! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this oneshot! I love reading james and lily as well and they are one of my otp.. i have a few! I didn't want them to just get thrown together with no reason at all and at the time was really into the song last christmas and still love it as a matter of fact and this oneshot just came from that! I felt bad for james as well as I was writing all his nervousness but to me it made sense.. he finally gets the chance with the girl of his dreams and he can't mess it up so of course he is going to be really nervous about messing it up. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!


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Review #7, by ginerva_molly_weasley This Christmas

9th March 2012:
Here's part 5 of our review swap!

This is fabulous!

I adore Lily and James stories and when I first started to read this I thought that it was going to be a Lily/Oc which would have made me really sad but as it went on I was sort of glad that everything didn't go well with Lily and David so that she finally got to date James despite not really liking him..

Their date is really sweet and how James tries to be a gentlemen to her is really just adorable and even though everything doesn't exactly go right (with him pushing her in too far) it is just one of those fluffy little romances and that is why I love it so much!

The fact that he also brought her that necklace was the cutest thing ever is just amazing. I love James so much and I wish I was Lily in this piece because he is actually so cute. That necklace sounded amazing and just how he was caring for her with the little note is amazing :D

Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed my view of their first date and that you liked my james trying to be sweet. I knew that i wanted the necklace to mean a bit more as I was writing it so I pictured it being given by him as another way to show that he cares for her even when she didn't care for him. thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #8, by Owlpost68 This Christmas

8th March 2012:
lol I picked this one to review 'cause it reminded me of the James/Lily one-shot I did :)
This was very cute, I kinda wish there were more description of the setting around them 'cause it seemed that it was one event after another. Another tip is to try rereading it and see if the dialog seems natural. Unfortunately there were a few parts I felt that could use some work. Otherwise it was a lovely idea, and there were many sweet moments, like them discussing the necklace, and it was too funny when he pushed her chair in! lol. Really great job :)
Congrats getting your 600th review!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this oneshot. I know there is still stuff that needs to be fixed but I had wrote this as a Christmas present and wanted to get it out as soon as possible for the person since it was already well after christmas. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #9, by Hazel Black This Christmas

17th February 2012:
[Slytherin Tag]

Very cute! Overall I thought it was a nice story, you have a good descriptive way of writing which makes for an easy read =)

I have a couple of concerns which are there were a few spelling mistakes in places, but they can be easily fixed. Also you swapped tenses in some places and at some times I thought the dialogue was a little stiff between James and Lily, but maybe that can just be contributed to the awkwardness of a first date!

I think you did a lovely job though, I enjoyed reading this =)

Author's Response: I'm still looking for a beta for this so hopefully I will have one soon to fix all those small errors. I'm glad that you enjoyed this and liked my description! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #10, by adluvshp This Christmas

5th February 2012:
Tag :D

This was a sweet little piece, a nice take on how James and Lily got together. The narrative flowed well, and I liked the characterizations over all.

The grammar was a bit off in some places though, as you switched between tenses unnecessarily. Apart from that, everything was good.

Over all I think this was a nicely written piece.


Good work!


Author's Response: I always seem to have a probelm with switching tenses and hope to get a beta for this to help with that. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #11, by Elenia This Christmas

4th February 2012:
Hey, Elenia here from the review tag!

Many things in your story that I liked! Firstly this was very well written! I think it flowed very smoothly forwards and held the interest during the whole story! Great job there! Pacing was good, a little fast in few parts, but that didn't matter much. Overall very easy to read. I would suggest reading it through once though, as there are a couple minor spelling errors, but otherwise I think Grammar was very good!

About characterization, it was good in most parts, but from time to time I got a feeling that it was something that I couldn't picture James and Lily doing. Like how they ended up going on the date. I don't think Lily would have said that she was dating James just to drive a guy away. But I think this got better once they were actually on the date. The interaction there was very believable.

Only other thing I'd like to mention is that I would have wanted you to make up another riddle for the Ravenclaw common room door, or at least made Lily answer it a bit differently than what we had read in DH.

Otherwise I really liked everything you have going on here! It was nice and cute and I really liked the ending.

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you felt this was well written and that you felt is flowed well. At some point in time I will look at getting a beta for this but I had written it for a christmas present for someone and it had already taken awhile to finish it. As for the riddle... i'm absolutely horrible at them so i figured my best bet would be to use the one in the book. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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