Hi! Here for review tag from TGS!

Ah, this was such a short yet powerful story. I loved your plot concept, of Gellert loving Ariana.

Your writing style was very beautiful too, and I liked the glimpse you gave us into Gellert's mind. I would have liked to see a little of his power-obsessed side as well though.

However, the ending was incredibly sad, and I liked the way you ended it.

There were a couple of grammar errors though, which disrupted the flow for me a little.

For example, in this sentence, it seems like there is something missing- 'It with the frivolous things like happiness and love that brought about fear and darkness.'
Also, it should be 'conscience' and not 'conscious' in the first paragraph.
And then in the ending also, there should be a period/full stop after the "dear" and not a comma.

Besides that, this made for a nice original read. Good work!

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thank you. Gellert was an interesting character to write and I'm glad that you liked it. yeah, i'll go and fix those up right now. thanks for pointing them out!

-Jasmine

 Report Review

Very lovely.

This was very sweet and beautifully written. A different idea going here, but I must say that I enjoyed it very much! This is a nice play on characters and the cannon story and this was fantastic! Keep up the amazing writing!

Author's Response: Thank you!!

I tried to get a different theme going through this story; something that wasn't read very often :) I'm actually on planning wiring a novel/novella about Gellert/Ariana at the moment :D

Thank you

 Report Review

This one-shot was wonderful to have brought across a completely new ship - at least, not one that I have ever thought of - and made it believable. I thought the description of the blood was what made this piece so sad - it gave me a powerful image to associate with the entire thing. How his blood is on his hands but really, it's her blood on his hands. I also really loved the way her greatest defence was also her greatest offence and that she would do this thing for her boys. A great story :)

-Maybe

Author's Response: Yay for new-ships! Be warned thought, there is very few of us poor shippers with a ship with no creative name *sad-face*

Thank you for such a wonderful review; I'm glad you enjoyed it :)


Jasmine

 Report Review

Hi, I'm here with your requested review.

It really is extraordinary that someone could fit so many emotions, so much pain, and have it all so vividly described in just 500 words. Honestly, this was such a wonderful one-shot!

You said that you were worried how believable the story is but I don't see why you should be worried at all. You've shown a man who was in battle with his own heart and he was losing it. The way he felt for his lost love drove him insane that he edged away from comfort and happiness because the last time he had felt them was with her. Like in Wuthering Heights! Though twisted and insanely painful, I find it so believable and so touching!

I have never read a Gellert/Ariana before, but I still think that this is a very special story. You've made us understand a man's destruction in a few vivid words, and I can't even imagine how you managed to do that.

I think that, as far as I understood anyway, Gellert considers Ariana as the person who brought the most amount of change to his life -that though he was raised to not feel or care, he managed to fall for her and continue to love her even when she was dead. And I find that believable as well.

There were a few wonky sentences and there is a couple of mistakes with punctuation, but they're not necessarily prominent or distracting.

Anyway, you've done a marvelous job here and I really enjoyed reading this small piece of art! Well done and keep on writing!

-Manno

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you! Looking back, I'm still worried that people won't accept it because Gellert was as evil (if not more evil) than Voldermort and was incapable of love but I'm glad that you thought that I did a good job at conveying his human side :)

Thank you!!!

Jasmine

 Report Review

Oh. Oh my gosh. How did you make a murdering villain so, so lovely? And sad and broken. I've never shipped these two before but now I can't see it any other way. Oh wow, in such short words you found a way to express so much!

Author's Response: haha, thank you! (I think...) I never shipped them before I wrote this but now I ship them too! Yay for converting people to new ships! *Celebratory dance*

Thank you!

 Report Review

Review swap!

Sorry for the long wait but sleep, school and making homework got in the way. Well seeing this one is also a Ariana/Gellert and I have not read one yet on the site I decided to check this one out.I thought your descriptions were very beautiful and the emotions Gellert felt of her passing. You captured everything in those 500 words. Well done! I greatly enjoyed it!

Author's Response: Yay! That's okay, I completely understand :D THanks! I had never really considered this ship before I wrote it :) THanks you so much!!!
Jaz, x

 Report Review

Wow. What an interesting ship, I have never read this ship before but I really liked your take on it. You made it really interesting. This was really good, you have a great writing style, you're very talented. You put so much into 500 words that I am just amazed. You captured Gellert emotions perfectly at his sadness of Ariana's passing. And your description was beautiful. I adored this, thanks so much for an amazing read!

- SexyDoorFrames

Author's Response: Thank you! I had never read this ship before I wrote this anyway which was good because it kind of gave me free reigns (unlike dramione and romione that tend to stick to a certain plot)
Thank you so much!!
Jaz

 Report Review

first things first, I just need to mention how amazing the banner is. The artist did a brilliant job, and I thought I should just say how lovely it is.

I must say, i've never considered this ship before, but I kinda like it. It sort of makes the situation sad, the one Dumbledore loved, in love with his sister. The way you wrote it was truly beautiful, in 500 words no less.

The way you captured his emotion about Ariana's passing was heartwrenching. To be able to capture such a feeling in your reader in a little amount of words is a talent you should be proud of. You've taken a ship that isn't canon, and made me completely believe it happend. Brilliant work.

Author's Response: I know right! Amoretti. made a wonderful banner didn't she? It is amazing! And the movie Up! was beautiful as well, I kind of chose it because of the love between Ellie and Carl :)

I never really considered this ship before I wrote it either. Thank you!
Thank you! I am quite proud of this story and all the reviews I'm getting are amazing!
Jaz

 Report Review

Hi! Thanks for swapping!

I really enjoyed this. I've always been in awe of people who can portray any sort of emotion is just 500 words, and you definitely did that. This ship is actually really interesting-it makes sense in a strange, twisted sort of way. I like that you had Gellert in love against his will, so to speak. He didn't like being in love with Arania, but he couldn't help it. The descriptions of carving his heart out and the broken mirror were two of my favorite parts. They both had great, vivid imagery, which I absolutely adore.

You did have a few awkwardly worded sentences here and there, but I think that was most because you were trying to take out conjunctions and such to make it fit in 500 words. It's definitely something to watch out for though :)

Overall, it was a beautiful story with a great ship. Excellent job!

-Naida

Author's Response: Hey!
Thank you! It is a weird, twisted shipping isn't it? I think it's just the thought of Gellert loving anymore- I mean it's more absurd then the thought of Voldemort loving someone.

Yeah, i read through it today and picked up a few things but I kind of had to so that it would fit to 500 words :)

Thank you!
Jaz

 Report Review

Review swap :)
This was very good. It gave a lot of insight to what he became, and what caused him to become evil. He had lost the one thing he loved, and he had nothing more to live for. This had very good characterization. Great job :)

Author's Response: Thank you!
Gosh, I love review swaps; don't you? I love writing about the under-rated characters in any fandom (harry potter or anything else) because it almost opens people's minds up to other characters :)
Thank you!!

 Report Review

Wow. I pretty much adore anything with Ariana in, but this was something else. The ship was brave, but I love this all the more for that. Gellert's pain and loss felt so real. I could almost feel the blood, your descriptions were so vivid. It was simple and thus haunting and memorable.

I'm not sure how you managed to put so much across in 500 words, but I'm impressed. I feel like I know so much about them just from what I read here. You create their characters so well.

I loved it!

Marina

Author's Response: Thank you! Ariana is such an underloved character! It's an unusual ship isn't it but it's weird because it kind of works? Thank you so much! :D

Jaz

 Report Review

Oh I love this, I love this so, so, so, so, much I picked this up because I loved your banner, I mean Up is my favorite pixar movie of all time, how much loved they showed in less than five minutes was amazing.

Moving on this was just as amazing I was so, so, happy with this one-shot why on earth does it only have two reviews this story should win dobbys, loads, and loads of dobbys!!! I am so adding favorites.

Lizzie

Author's Response: AHH! Thank you so much! Up! is such a great movie isn't it? I have to admit I cried when Ellie passed away. I kind of chose the banner subconsciously because of the relationship between Ellie&Carl and Ariana&Gellert.

THank you so much! Dobby's? Oh wow. Thank you so much!

Jaz

 Report Review

Now that was different, I never imagined that they could have been a couple but you wrote this so well in only 500 words, that you made it seem like he really loved her.
I really enjoyed how you wrote Gellert :-D
A great one shot!

Author's Response: Thank you! I never imagined them as a couple either, but the challenge was the to write them.
Thank you! It's the first time I wrote something that dark and I'm glad it worked! :D
Jaz

 Report Review

Wow, that was so good! There was so much emotion that you put in such a short story, and i loved it! It was beautiful. Fantastic. I actually cannot even imagine how you managed to write such an amazing story in such a short space! There was a clearly defined plotline and emotion and i just cannot say how amazing it it! You should honestly be a professional writer. You're just that amazing! Keep writing!
-RavenclawWayToBe

Author's Response: Yay! First review!
Thank you. I think I was having a really bad day when I wrote this which is why it's so angsty haha.
Thank you! THis honestly made my day so much better! I shall now go and write my original stories! *holds a sword in the air*
Jaz

 Report Review