This sounds...interesting. I'm still not sure what to expect but I like your writing style and I want to see where it goes :)Author's Response: nawww you're so kind - thank you soo much, x Report Review
Haha, wow. This is an AMAZING first chapter. I love how you just get right into it with your awesome first line of "Today is going to my last day on earth. I am going to die. No, correction, I am going to be murdered." It really did entice me to continue reading after that. This chapter is also quite funny, I very much enjoyed reading James talk about his own fan girls and awards he's one, like he's a cocky one who knows he's amazing, but he still stays with the general plot. I can't wait to find out what exactly it is he's done. I hope you update soon!
xxEnigmaticEyes16Author's Response: His James Potter, you can only have him 2 ways - in the jock catergory (up tight, self centered, cokcy, but with a little bit of love) or in the soft catergory (where his brother is the arognant one, while he trys really hard to keep the piece and blah blah blah.)
I'm just not into the whole Albus is mean James isn't - so i usually swap them :P that's why his so cocky lol
Thank you so much for reading and reiewing - and I will try to get the next chapter out asap. :)
~MMM Report Review
Oh, James! What did you do?
LOL. If I were his friend, he'd disown me, too, because I'd be with Scorpius and Matthew, laughing. Just like I'm laughing now while reading this.
I especially like how you ending this chapter; I really do wanna grab some popcorn and press next. :)
Great start with this, I can't wait to see where you go with this. :D
Sam.Author's Response: Hi sam :)
James is very naughty - he will explain his story further asap. :P lol.
I'm glad you enjoyed this :D
Kepe reading when I update yeah? :P
~Karni. Report Review
I like this chapter! It has made me really curious and I can't wait to read more! I wonder what James said yes to...
I can already tell this wil be a great story. Update soon!Author's Response: Oh, thank you soo much â¥
I always appreciate it when peopel leave me rviews - and Iwill try to update asap :D x Report Review
great prologue! :) can't wait for the actual story and to discover what is happening... so curious right now :) update, please! :DAuthor's Response: I will try and upload asap!!! :D I hope you still enjoy it next chapter.
Thank you s much fo the review. x Report Review
Hi :) Thought i'd stop by and give your new story some loving.
One thing -
+ And not being able to say no, is actually the only reason as to why I am going to die.
- It took me three tires to figure out this sentence. I got what you were trying to say, but you might want to re-word it or something.
Other than that, the grammar and everything else was pretty good :)
Characterisation was good (i'm a James II fan ^_^) and I love the voice you've given him. Interesting that you've made him best friends with Scorpius. Maybe i haven't read as many Next-Gen fics as I should have, but i don't think i've read that before, so i'm interested to see how that friendship came about, particularly as Scorpius is two years below James in cannon.
Pacing and flow - This was the main flaw I found here. You were very repetitive (which when trying to make a point is fine) but it was excessively so. Numerous times within a four line paragraph you'd use the same words, just re-arranged. You might want to have a beta read over this/tidy those bits up yourself, because other than that (which dragged on the flow and pacing) this was really good.
Overall, job well done, and I hope to see this updated soon. Let me know when you do in my review thread and i'll pop over and give you my thoughts on the second chapter when it's up if you want.
Keep it up, and hope that my comments have been helpful,
- Adele :) Report Review
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