Reading Reviews for Inertia
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon We Might as Well Be Strangers

2nd February 2015:
Howdy!

I thought independent of anything else, the story was very well-written mechanically. Your word choice was impeccable and in a story (fittingly) without dialogue, you wrote James's musings in such a way as to really draw the reader in.

As far as the characterization goes, I don't think you touched the realm of implausibility with this "reimagining". You took the darkest parts of James and Lily and brought them to the fore in a time of darkness where (in your vision) they were no longer allowed to play their part. It was the vision of a nearly-dead star, its light fading closer daily to nonexistence. However, I'd also consider the idea that both James and Lily are completely removed from the War that arguably brought them together (I think it's a decent argument as fighting for a greater good probably made she or them [depending on your perspective] see beyond their personal animosity to who they truly were and find something greater she/they never imagined in James/each other). For Lily, this makes sense - in their era, she would have been expected to stay home and raise Harry, not fight in a war. For James, less so. The Order could probably not afford to sacrifice both of them at the point of its greatest peril and I imagine James still being capable of fighting (though this is admittedly not an absolute).
I'd also consider the Snape bit (there are other, more believable ways for James to be cruel).

All in all, I thought it was very well-written and thought provoking. Out along the borders of believability while still being possible for me (though I'm a BIG James/Lily fan), but still very good.

Hope this helps!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you! That's always important, that regardless of the content, it should at least be well written so I'm thrilled that you thought that.

I can totally see it from your point of view :). The way I see it, being in such a high-stress situation like the one Lily and James were in can either bring them closer together or drive them further apart. It's like being trapped in a pressure cooker. The argument could be made that James felt like a caged animal and Lily had postpartum depression. I agree with you that James would be the most affected of the two to suffer from the isolation. This could manifest itself into resentment that since he can't direct towards Dumbledore or the Order, Lily becomes the unwitting target.

The Snape bit was a cheap shot from James. I guess I did it because I read somewhere that James hated Snape as a potential rival among other reasons. In his state of mind, that insecurity raised its ugly head.

It really means a lot that you could give a fair, constructive review even if this might not be your cup of tea.

Thank you!
~Misty


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Review #2, by academica We Might as Well Be Strangers

18th November 2013:
Hello, here at last with your requested review!

Wow, it must have taken some courage to write this piece given the many people on the site who think of James and Lily as canon romantic gold. Overall, I really enjoyed the story and liked the dark tone. There were several places where I think you really pushed the envelope, and I mean that in a good way -- for example, Lily no longer being physically perfect, and James's jealous suspicions about Severus.

I think you did a fairly good job with explaining how James and Lily grew to feel this way about their marriage. It seems very realistic for James to resent Lily because he's stuck with her and unable to talk to Sirius anymore. He's been forced to grow up and take on the heavy weight of being a husband and father, and all while not being permitted to move about freely in the world. With Lily, I got some sense of why she's resentful--that pregnancy suspicion seems to have done a number on her when it comes to regret--but I think you could make it even more clear by giving us some specific examples of things she missed (I guess Severus could count here, though). I recognize that the story comes from James, but it seems like you wanted to dwell on both of their miseries, not just his.

I didn't think the writing style was too melodramatic at all; in fact, it seems quite fitting for a situation like this one. As I mentioned earlier, you had some gritty description that was really very effective.

I like James's characterization as well. It's interesting how you juxtaposed what seems like lingering love for the girl he once knew with his distaste for the woman standing in front of him. I guess the only thing slightly dissatisfying is my perceived lack of a resolution, a final word regarding his feelings about his wife and his marriage. Something about it just isn't quite clear there at the end. Of course, it's entirely possible that you meant for it to be like that :)

Really nice work. Hope this review is helpful!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hiya, here with my overdue response (so sorry!)

I'm really happy you enjoyed this. This was a story that'd been churning in my brain for the longest time. While I do love canon as much as the next person, I do feel realistically speaking that James and Lily's situation was uniquely and highly-stressful especially at the young age they got married and had Harry at.

You're right on point about James. Even before, he had to put on a facade for Lily to fall in love with him in Hogwarts. It could be maturity but being a rich only child, I think it was really taxing for James to grow up and taking on responsibility, in addition to being locked-up like a prisoner.

After you pointed it out, I think you're right that Lily's miseries could have been highlighted more. Some examples that come to mind is her estrangement from Petunia and not being able to visit her parents and introducing them to Harry. I might just add them in some time in the future. Thank you for that :)

I'm glad! Gritty was what I was going for rather than soap-opera.

I had a great time exploring the dark side of James the person, not the Marauder so it's heartening to hear that you liked his characterization. I can see where you're coming from about the lack of resolution. They might have come to one eventually but this story took place in October 1981. Maybe the resolution was James' self-sacrifice as penance. It is open to interpretation though.

This review has been exceedingly helpful, I couldn't be more grateful for you taking the time to write this. Thank you so much!

~Misty


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Review #3, by LovelyMioneWeasley We Might as Well Be Strangers

16th February 2012:
We drank too quickly from our cup of bliss. Now we are left with the dregs of apathy and resentment.

My favorite line(s) still; the imagery is powerful and there. I love the title, the images, everything you have done with this beautiful, twisted little fic darling.

It is such an honor to call you a friend and a fellow author. Your talent is definitely all over this one; I liked the little tweaks you've done with this one and the fact that you posted. I hope all is well with you, writing life or otherwise.

xoxo Lindsey

Author's Response: .

Even when you first posted this back in February, I had no idea what to say. Now months later, I still don't. You're too wonderful for words, Linds, I count it as a blessing to know you as a friend and fellow author and know that your support is so strong and enduring. Your encouragement was a massive part of me posting this and I thank you so very much!!

*earth-shattering hugs*
Misty


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