Reading Reviews for Let's Say
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AC_rules Let's Say

5th June 2012:
Hey there Arielle! So, you requested a review for this story back. AHAHHA. The 3rd of February. Yeah. I'm really srry abut the... eh, three months this took to get to you? Yeah...no excuse except school got in the way and I got a bit fed up of everyone posting when my queue was full, so I didn't d any reviews for ages and now its... three months later and I thought I might as well get to it.

I actually read this three months ago and planned out what I was going to say in my review... and I'm pretty sure I was going to say that I really liked the repetition of the 'let's say' bit, but that it got a bit too repetitive. But, upon reading it again I like it much more than I did the first time (have you edited it slightly, since then? Or was I just in a bad mood before?) But, yeah, I thought it was a really unique and nice little thing. Really, the whole thing was just so very cute... and it was still cute even though it wasn't exactly a truly happy ending (kudos to that; love a bit of bittersweet, me).

I didn't mind that bit of bittersweet, though, because it seemed like they both were happy - it was just that the relationship didn't work out. But, that's something that's really nice to see. The idea that people can love each other and it still might not work (bit depressing, granted), but you made it sweet and nostalgic and lovely.

So, who knows what I was thinking last time. Ahahah. I think the only thing is that I am a bit of a fan of slightly longer paragraphs, so you could think about extending some of the paragraphs so it seems less bitty... but I actually don't think it does. BUT, I do constructive criticism (at least, I did... last time I left a review... in February).

So... towards the end it got a bit more confusing as to who the 'girl' was and the 'boy' because there were a few more characters. See what I mean? So I wasn't entirely sure who the kind eye's belonged to. I think perhaps if you called him the 'other guy' or something along that vein - as that would relate into the whole they-still-love-each-other-thing.

But, I thought this was a really nice experimental type one-shot and I really liked it and I'm SORRY this review took an obscene amount of time. Like, seriously, it took so long 0.o

Thanks for requesting! Come again when I have spaces (which, if we're honest, could take awhile).

-AC

Author's Response: Wow.a not 12+ word came out of my mouth when I saw this, it was just so long...and long.

At first I was worried it was full of you telling me about my mistakes. I didn't want to make mistakes...especially that many...I'm all for CC, but I hate making mistakes.

Ah it didn't take that long, just three months, that's only like...what...ninety days? Which is according to my calculator only 2160 hours.

I'm kidding with you. :) Your review was an awesome surprise. :) and I'm liked you liked the story. :)


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Review #2, by Cassius Alcinder Let's Say

24th April 2012:
Can I say that Percy/Penelope has to be one of the most underloved ships? And it was actually the first ship to appear in the books (unless you count Vernon/Petunia or Arthur/Molly) so you would think more people would be attached to it.

Anyway, I like the way you presented the characters and their interactions, and for the record, I would totally want to date this version of Penelope haha.

I also liked how you managed to work in Percy's estrangement, and how those issues would have effected his relationships, and it seems like the perfect way to have them break up, since we know now that they don't end up together.

This was a very sweet story, yet it was also very bittersweet with how everything ended up.

Author's Response: YES THEY ARE SO UNDERLOVED AND YET SO AWESOME! I'll never understand some of the HPFF writers that either ignore them or write then off as snobs.

You'd date this version of Penelope? Well, I'd date my version of Percy, so all's good. ;)

I'm glad you liked the characters and thanks for the great review.


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Review #3, by slytherinchica08 Let's Say

9th February 2012:
Wow this was really interesting! I loved the format of this, it was so different from anything else I have ever read on here which really makes it stand out in my eyes. I loved the little Let's say bits that took us along many years of their friendship/relationship. It was a wonderful idea and seemed to flow really well for me. I loved how you switched perspectives so we got to see a bit from her perspective rather then just Percy's. I loved the bits that you had in () they were funny and tied the story together beautifully. I loved the last bit especially how they still held a small candle for each other and that even though they loved each other they are still happy with someone else. Honestly, I dont know what else to say besides the fact that I really loved this! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad you liked this, it's a bit different from my normal comedy so I was very nervous when I published it. :)

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Review #4, by charlottetrips Let's Say

8th February 2012:
I noticed right off that a few of your banners have the Doctor in them. Can I tell you I love the Doctor? Because I do!

And then, you’re “right off the broomstick” in the summary—brill!

Then your whole style of writing this. It’s very adorable and just friendly. I’m smiling as I’m reading this because of all the little added words. Some could take it as distracting but overall, I find the effect just new and different!

Spock! Did you mean to say that you also don’t own Star Trek? :) How cute is it that she’s starting out with Spock.

And then we have the awkward turtle stage! My favorite part of budding relationships! his arms were all stiff as he stared at the ceiling and wondered if it the world got any better than this. ♥♥♥♥ ah, teenage love

Oh oh oh! Now she’s talking about the Doctor! Why can’t this be a love story? Maybe it is though! I guess I’ll just have to see.

Small bit: “when she couldn’t pay her [went]” – rent? There’s also bits of misspellings here and there, but not too bad. And he still lives with his mother?? Percy!

Oh no! I see where we’re going (sort of). This whole courtroom scene! Of course she’d be tried! I don’t know if she was Muggleborn but she was obviously not so Pureblood because she knew about all these wonderful shows that I love.

The “girl” got a little confusing in the end because by that time Percy had his other wife and I wasn’t sure who we were talking about.

How did you do this? You made this wonderfully adorable story into something somewhat tragic and heartbreaking, yet not completely. I’m actually amazed. I went into reading this thinking “fluff!” (I don’t read the genre so maybe you warned me there *runs to check* yes you…did to a degree) and then it’s not. But it’s still told in a lovely way and gah! The only word coming to mind is “beautiful sadness”!

Author's Response: The Doctor is AWESOME! I normally have him be my Percy Weasley so that's why there is so many banners with his pictures on them.

Awww, I'm glad you liked the story and I'm sorry it made you sad. I'm also sorry for the confusion with the other girl, I just didn't want to name any names you know?

Awkward turtle stage, haha genius. :)


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Review #5, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Let's Say

7th February 2012:
This is a really interesting way of writing; I don't think I've ever seen another fic written this way. And it goes really well if the plot; awesome. :D

My favorites parts are the extra bits of information in the brackets; some at the beginning made me giggle a little, but mainly because it added to the story in quite a unique way (unique for me as I've not seen a fic like this) which I really loved.

Great one-shot.

Sam.

Author's Response: Hello Sam :)

I'm glad you liked the story, the little bits in the brackets were mainly written to lighten the mood of the story so I'm glad you liked them. :)


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Review #6, by javct Let's Say

7th February 2012:
Yet another amazing story!!

Honestly, I don't think there has been a story that you've written that I haven't enjoyed :D

The way you wrote this story was so original and different - I really enjoyed it. And I also liked the way you wrote it without any dialogue.

Even though you casually mentioned Doctor Who, I loved how you included 'spoilers' in your story! That made me giggle.

Once again, great job! (and I loved the small Percy/Audrey in this story haha)

Jaz

Author's Response: Hi Jaz!

Oh, I'm so glad you liked this one as well! Normally I'm a firm Pen/Oliver and Percy/Audrey shipper but I couldn't help writing one about the Pen/Percy relationship.

Doctor Who is awesome, need I say more?


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Review #7, by atellam Let's Say

7th February 2012:
Woohoo, review swaps! :P

This was really cute, and different from many things I've read before. The main feedback I can give here, is that your use of commas is inconsistent - eg. At the beginning, you'd have 'Let's add' as a new sentence, but later you placed a comma there and had it as a continuation.

Other than that though, the only other thing I can point out is your language. By use of the 'Let's say' and 'Let's add' it's weaving a story in a way that almost feels as if you are having a conversation with the reader. This is great as, the majority of the time, you do it well. However, there are times, particularly in the brackets or in a more descriptive part of a sentence, you take on a different tone to the story. It becomes more casual as the story progresses and it interrupts your flow - eg. 'clearly an epic fail' and 'just thought you should know.' Does that make sense? Your pacing is fine however. :)

Either way, this is good. Just revise it, so that your commas are consistent ('Let's add' should be a new sentence by the way. It doesn't work right after a comma. Not for the tone of this piece anyway) and that your tone/language stays the same throughout.

In short, nicely done and I enjoyed it a lot. ^_^ Hope what i've said has been helpful.
- Adele :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you very much for pointing out my inconsistent commas, I'll probably have to get a BETA for this. I'm glad you liked the story though!


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Review #8, by Tonks1247 Let's Say

5th February 2012:
Hello, Nymphie Tonks here with your requested review :)

This is actually my first time reading a Penelope/Percy story. I had never really thought to read them as a pairing, even though they were together in the Harry Potter books. I’m not quite sure why that is, but I’m glad to say that your story was my first!

So. Characterization wise, I think this was good. You catch Percy’s character, his way of being quite well. He seems to fit the description of Percy from the books, with a bit of a twist because it showed him in a softer light, not in the same light his brothers described of him. It did show how he turned against everyone close to him when Voldemort first returned and no one [the ministry mostly] didn’t believe it. You also give light to Penelope’s character. I actually don’t know much of her character, but you give an exceptionally good light to her as well.

I will honestly say I struggled with reading this a bit because of all the ‘Let’s say’ sentence startings. I’m used to a variety of starters and it really took time for my mind to adjust with that. But after my brain did adjust, I was able to read it fine. So maybe get rid of some of the ‘Let’s say’ sentence starters at the beginning? No a lot, but just in the first 3-4 lines/paragraphs maybe?

Also, a thing I noticed: “Let’s say that caught each other’s eye when saying goodbye to their kids, let’s say the girl’s eyes were full of forgiveness, while the boy could barely look at her without crying.” This sentence should be split into two. There should be a period between kids and let’s. because they are two complete thoughts. Either that or work in a semi-colon. And there are more than just that one sentence that could use some semi-colons or sentences broken up.

Other than those few things, I don’t think there were any other problems. It was fairly well written and I enjoyed reading it! Please let me know if you need any more clarification of have questions of anything! :)

~Grimmerz

Author's Response: Aw, I'm glad you liked it but I'm sorry you had a harder time reading it in the beginning, I did try to keep everyone in character yet show a different side. Thanks for all the help, your review was awesome. :)

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Review #9, by MyMyMiss Let's Say

5th February 2012:
First of all - ket me just say - Thank god this isn't a one-shot over three thousand words, I don't think my eyes can take much more today ^_^

Anyone - a percy and Pen-o story, this would possbily have to be the first one I have ever read!! So I was really excited to read this :D

I'll be honest, when I first opened this story I honestly didn't know what to expect - at first I had a little giggle, it was so beautiful, the way percy did things and the way he went aorund everything - Hogsmeade, the kissing, the studying, everything was so darm cute to say he was arrognant and a lot not like the other Weasley boys!!

I really loved the way you wrote this - at times the narration was a little confusion, but in the end I thought it was really clever and very well written. I know, that I certainly could never write a story like this, I would die just from trying :P lol

You said you wanted to know if your charactereization was okay, well personally, I for one don't think we knew enough about these two to actually judge their characteristics. Penelopy we never heard much about except that she had a big nose, and Percy was just arrognant and stuck up - so your spin on both, I believe, was quite good! And cimpletely different, and I like different. Beucase I love to see characters in a new light :D
I guess you could say that what I am trying t say is that these two characters are similar to the Next Gen and Founders Era - we don't know much about them so we can run away with whatever we want :)

You have a lovely one - shot and your writing is splendid!

Keep up the good work - feel free to re-request if you have any other stories you would like me to review :) x

~Karni. xx

Author's Response: Hello Karni!

I'm glad you liked the story, I'm glad you gave it a passing grade I was really nervous because this is pretty much my first angst story. I love working with minor characters for that exact reason, you can twist their personalities.


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Review #10, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Let's Say

4th February 2012:
Everytime I read this I get tears in my eyes. Seriously, my favorite thing you have written so far. This is about the third time that I've read this and it just gets me every single time.

Stop watching Hetalia and keep writing.PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. :D

Author's Response: I'm actually done with Hetalia, but no I'm obsessed with The Fullmetal Alchemist *looks sheepish* BUT don't worry, I have too many ideas to keep in my head!

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Review #11, by KatnissMalfoy Let's Say

4th February 2012:
You made me cry /:

But otherwise adorable. And now I'm sitting here, sobbing because it's super sad and super cute.

Author's Response: Awww, I'm sorry, but I'm glad you liked it. :)

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