Reading Reviews for A Force Of Wills
  
90 Reviews Found

Review #1, by EnigmaticEyes16 Sibling

18th June 2015:
Ahh! I am back and I am very curious as to what will happen next! I can't believe Maximus is allowing them to marry! But I have to wonder if those rings he gave Astoria and Blaise have a downside to them. And of course the promise she made to protect Blaise still stands but what is it she has to do? And it does involve Draco!!?? I knew it! I'm super excited to see him again! I can't wait to read on and find out what happens once they are back at Hogwarts!

Great chapter, Gabbie!

xxNix

Author's Response: HellO!

Thanks for stopping by again, I certainly wasn't expecting this review! Maximus certainly has his reasons for letting Astoria and Blaise marry. He's got it all sorted out in his mind on what he wants from them and yes, there is something about the rings. Please pay careful attention to them as the story goes on, they actually play a role in what might happen to Blaise and Astoria. Heheheh.

I don't necessarily say what Astoria needs to do in order to live up to her end of the bargain but you'll figure it out soon. It involves Draco in the worst possible way but I'm keeping my lips sealed!

You'll be seeing Draco again and not in the way you think! ;)

Thanks so much!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #2, by CassiePotter The Rift

7th May 2015:
Hi Gabbie! I'm FINALLY caught up on this story! It's taken me ages, but I did it!
I'm not even sure what to think after reading this chapter!!! So much happened and it was so packed with emotions!
As always, Astoria's family is terrifying. Particularly her father. I'm honestly really worried about how far he's willing to go to get what he wants. I really hope no one ends up dead because of him. But if that did happen, I really don't know how surprised I would be... He did hurt his own children, and kill his son, after all. I was also surprised about how nasty Aradelle got! It made me really sad to read that, because she would only have gotten that way after years of living with the Greengrass family.
I feel so bad for Astoria! She's terrified of her father, has no idea what Malfoy might do to get to her, and can't see any way out of the situation. I really hope that she's able to get away from her father and get Malfoy to stop stalking her... Maybe Ginny, Neville, and Luna can help keep Malfoy away? I'd like to see them help Astoria again.
As always, Blaise is fascinating. His emotional range in this chapter alone was incredibly written. It's obvious how much he loves Astoria (YAY!) but I have a feeling that that love is going to get him into trouble. If anything happens to her, he's either going to get hurt protecting her or do something stupid out of anger... Either way, things wouldn't end well for him!
He was really scary when he got angry! When he was yelling at Aradelle and grabbed her arm, I really thought he was going to hurt her!
The kiss at the end of the chapter was a really nice way to wrap things up. Everything has been so intense and angsty, and Astoria and Blaise just being together, knowing that they have each other to hold onto, helped relieve that a tiny bit. Hopefully they at least get a moment of calm before things get really crazy!
This was an amazing chapter, and I can't wait to see what happens next! Now I want to work on getting caught up on your other stories!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

I'm so sorry that I haven't had the time to really answer your reviews but here I am! Hahaha.

Thanks so much for coming back and you have no idea how long it took me to write this. I almost didn't survive. Hahaha. I think that the Greengrass family will prove to be more terrifying as this story goes on and because Maximus controls everything, he can affect Astoria no matter where she is. He hurt his children and killed Leo but there's so much mystery here that you can't understand when it might end.

I feel bad for Astoria as well. There's so much stacked against her and you're not sure what might happen. I think that I like writing her in this situation though because it forces her to be more emotionally diverse and to stay strong. She can't do it alone, however. This is what this chapter was about though.

You'll see Luna, Ginny and Neville again!

I have never written Blaise like this before and I'm so glad that it was able to really show another side of him. He's not the sort of person that breaks down like this and so it took a long time for me to get this just right and I'm so happy with how it ended. He may have to reign in his temper and his love for Astoria if he wishes to stay alive but he has put himself in danger.

I'm going to try and get more fluff into this story to balance out the angst. Things will get crazy but I don't want to wear you guys down with it! Hahhaa.

Thank you so much, dear!

Gabbie


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Review #3, by CassiePotter Need

17th February 2015:
So I don't even know where to start with this chapter. So much just happened and I'm feeling so many feelings right now! AH.
I thought Draco's interactions with his former friends was fascinating, but his little conversation with Pansy was definitely my favorite part of that scene. Throughout it all you can see him trying, and failing, to hang onto this image of being cool and collected and above everyone. He can't boss them around anymore and they all know it. I think the fact that he's trying to use information to keep some kind of status among them is really interesting, and I can't wait to see how the relationships among that group progress. Like I said before, his conversation with Pansy was wonderfully written. She's able to touch a part of him that he doesn't want to think about, because that part knows that Pansy is right, and that he's going to do a lot of damage that can't be undone if he keeps doing crazy things to get to Astoria.
Then we go back to our trio of rescuers! You wrote them fabulously! Luna, in particular. You really managed to capture the wisdoms that she has because she's so honest in the way she interacts with people. I definitely got the childlike sense of wonder that JKR gives her in the way you write her! I hope she, Ginny, and Neville come back into the story. They added this wonderful spark to things, because they're all so different from one another and from Blaise and Astoria. It's really cool getting to see how Astoria reacts to them, as well.
AND THEN THE END HAPPENED AND MY HEART MELTED. Blaise is so, so in love with Astoria. I just know it. And I know she's worried that he doesn't love her as much as she loves him but he just has to! He's so good to her, and he wouldn't be that protective if he didn't really love her. Also when he called her darling I squeeled a little bit inside. It was such a perfect little moment.
I can't wait for more of this! I know it took me AGES to read this chapter but I'm sticking with this story until the end. It's one of my favorites, both of your work and on the site as a whole, and I just want to know what's going to happen!!! On my end, there's a new chapter of The Fourth Daughter up and I have a new Hannah Abbott one-shot up, too! Incredible writing, as usual, Gabbie! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

I really liked writing the scene with Draco and his former friends. It was something that was gnawing at the back of my mind and I'm glad that I finally had the time to write it in this chapter. Slytherins are always about power play, aren't they? Draco is trying so hard to portray that he's a confident guy but in the end, he's a mastermind at scheming. I have some things planned for his relationships with his friends but I won't spoil them here. ;)

Pansy sees into a part of Draco that he would rather ignore. You would think that they would be a better pair but he's far too gone with madness for Astoria. It will not end well for him.

I really LOVE Luna. I was nervous about writing Neville, Luna and Ginny because I was unsure if it would be written well. I was happy that you enjoyed them and we do see them again sometime later. I'll put Astoria and Blaise in more situations like this in the future, they're such a mysterious pair and it's fun seeing them around other people.

Blaise is in love with Astoria, he just won't admit it to himself. I'll hint at that later on though and he can call ME darling anytime he likes! :3

Thanks so much, dear!

Gabbie


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Review #4, by EnigmaticEyes16 Denial

29th January 2015:
This is quite possibly the longest chapter I have ever read. And so very, very intense.

I'm surprised Blaise is even still alive after all that fighting! And now he's asking for Astoria's hand in marriage! What!? I can't believe I waited so long to come back to this. This is the best, most intense story I've ever read. I can't wait to find out what happens next. Will Astoria say yes? And if so, what will happen in her and Blaise's private meetings with her father. And what happens if she says no?

Plus, this sentence right here: “my intentions to have an intention with the intention of marrying your daughter aren't a lie, as you can see.”

Part of me loves it when he talks like this, and the other part is wondering what the heck I just read because it still doesn't make sense to me.

And when will we see Draco again? I've been missing his character, is that weird? Probably.

Great chapter!

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

I am so sorry that this chapter is so long and that I'm just now responding to your review but I've been so busy. It's so annoying! Blaise is asking for Astoria's hand in marriage indeed! He's quite the shocker, isn't he? The meeting with Maximus won't go well but I don't want to spoil the twist for you! Hehehehe.

Also, Blaise makes absolutely no sense at all so it would be wise not to think too much on when he talks so strange. Hahahaha.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #5, by CassiePotter Monster

15th December 2014:
GABBIE OH MY GOODNESS THIS CHAPTER.
I forgot how intense things were for Astoria and I was so nervous for her throughout this entire chapter. Once I started reading I could look away because I just had to know what was going to happen next!
I honestly was really surprised at how far Malfoy is willing to go to get what he wants! I thought that he would back off a little or just keep making empty threats but seeing how much he terrifies Astoria really makes me anxious for her. I'm really worried that Malfoy is going to do something horrible to her or Blaise!
I was really surprised to see Ginny, Neville, and Luna at the end of the chapter but I loved it! You wrote all three of them so well, and now I'm really hoping you bring them back into the story! Maybe they can help Astoria and Blaise run away together so they can get married and ride off into the sunset to live happily every after? I hope so, but I have a feeling that's not what's going to happen.
I'm SO happy Blaise is ok, considering everything that's happened! I was so worried about him! He's just so sweet to Astoria and I love the way you write him so much! He's definitely my favorite character in this story.
This was a fantastic chapter and I'm so glad that I have time to get back into your stories! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

I am SO sorry that I'm late with your reviews, I haven't been able to get on lately and my life has been a mess. Hahah.

Things are really intense for Astoria at the moment and because Malfoy is stalking her, I think that she's going to be out of luck for a while. I had a hard time writing this chapter in particular but I'm glad that you were able to enjoy all of the characters that I introduced. I'd never written Luna, Ginny or Neville before and I was so afraid of how they turned out. But apparently they're all right!!!

Blaise is going to be all right but I think that you might have to watch his temper in the future. Hahahha.


Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #6, by EnigmaticEyes16 Bargains

29th October 2014:
Hey! This is a very interesting chapter, seeing Astoria with her father in his office for the first time. Like it's a strange initiation to her family's business. He's decided to spare her life but now she has to play by his rules.

It's very intriguing the dynamic between the two, how she is mostly able to keep her cool in her father's presence, and even wants to raise her upper lip in a sneer at him, the way she would with other purebloods.

I also like how you include the portraits of her father's siblings and how they are sort of a lesson as to not let the business make you go mad, as it did for his brother and, possibly, sister. I wonder if they are all really dead (kind of assuming they must be, but I don't know) or just no longer apart of the family business, and I wonder if the older brother wanted to turn away from it when he wanted to change things.

I'm very curious to know what her father asks of her, and what it will mean for Blaise as well. I wonder if he'll ask her to get close to Draco again in order to get back into the Malfoys' good favor.

I love how Blaise enters at the end, making jokes and acting as if nothing has happened. I think him and Astoria are so cute together and I wonder what he means when he says he'll make her a part of his life when she's basically promised hers away in order to keep him alive.

I really want to read on to find out what happens, but this may be the last you hear from me for a while because of NaNo, but I will be back!

xxNix

Author's Response: HELLO!

I'm sorry that I'm just now getting back to you with this response! ;_;

There are a lot of things about Astoria that I love and one of them is her defiance. She hates her father and isn't afraid to show it sometimes but at this moment, that might have gotten her killed. I tried to play this out where no one really has the upper hand and I just enjoyed writing the two of them here, warring against one another to gain the upper hand.

The Greengrass family has a lot of secrets and what happened to Maximus's siblings is one that will be revealed in time. Leo had his own thoughts about breaking away from the life he was given and yes, it did have horrible consequences. We learn more about him later though.

Ah, Blaise. He's the life blood of this movie and I adore him! He makes no sense sometimes but you really need him in your life. Hahaha.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #7, by EnigmaticEyes16 Sacrifices

25th October 2014:
Hi! Sorry I've been terrible at reviewing, I've been so wrapped up in reading the story and there's so much to comment on in every chapter, but I'm going to start trying again. So, commence this very long review.

This was a really sad chapter. Astoria's guilt is clearly evident as she feels responsible for Blaise's injuries (although why he went without his wand is completely unknown to me and just blows my mind. I wonder if and where they will find it.). And she says she never knew things would turn out this way, but then she admits (to herself) that she had known. But of course she knew. That's why she wanted to leave the Zabini Estate the second Blaise was willing to let her in, and she kept trying to convince him that he was in danger but he wouldn't have any of it. And clearly he made her feel safe and gave her hope that her family wouldn't find them. And even though they've only really known each other for a few days, and she might not even admit it to herself, I think she's already fallen in love with Blaise, and it really shows in this chapter.

I love, LOVE the part when Blaise wakes up and tells her he wouldn't mind hearing her continue to confess her undying love for him. It's a relief to know he's okay enough to be cocky and make fun, but the same time they're so cute together. I practically squealed when he got her to come close enough and he kissed her.

I'm very anxious to know exactly what Astoria is to her family. The way her mother calls her their gift is very strange. It almost seems like she was brought to replace Leo in a way, and maybe not even share any blood with the Greengrasses at all. Although, I wonder if Leo was also a halfblood. It seems like whatever he did to get killed must have been very serious, especially if their own father is the one who killed him. I mean, to kill his first son seems like a very drastic measure.

Now, onto Draco's bit of the chapter. I think it's interesting how happy he is. Even though his friends had shunned him on arrival, he's so happy because he thinks he has Astoria right where he wants her, except he has yet to notice that she's not even on the train. Or maybe he expects her not to be on the train after what happened the day before.

I do like how your Draco doesn't seem to be very fond of the Dark Lord and his Aunt Bellatrix, afraid one of them may off his family if they make a mistake. And you can tell he cares for his mother, telling her to stay strong, and wishing he could just take her and run away.

I find it intriguing though that Draco is finally starting to figure out Astoria's secrets and instead of being scared of what they could do to him, he only wants to know more about her and her family. And I think he may even see her in a higher respect knowing they both deal with the same kind of violence and madness on a regular basis. It seems like he may be finally seeing her as his equal. But at the same time he still thinks he owns her. I wonder how it will all play out in the upcoming chapters and if/when Astoria will return to Hogwarts...

Guess I'll just have to keep reading to find out. Anyway, great chapter!

xxNix

Author's Response: HEllo

Astoria had a lot guilt about what happened to Blaise and although it had its consequences, she won't really give up her feelings for him either. She won't be able to say that she loves him just yet but you can tell that he means a lot to her. It's scary that she's back with her family after all this time and I didn't want you all to think that this was going to be an easy victory for her either. Hhaaha. I'm evil like that.

You find out more about what happened to Leo in later chapters and it was a pretty serious thing that got him killed. I don't want to reveal it too soon but I thought that having that little mystery hanging around Astoria only emphasized how trapped she was.

Blastoria for LIFE! They are so cute together!

I never got the sense that Draco liked what his father was doing. I think that he admired him for some reason and yet was afraid of what might become of them. He doesn't care for the Dark Lord and I think that he's just as afraid for his life as Astoria. It's weird that that's what draws him to her but it may have horrible consequences for them both if they're not careful.

Thanks for the review, sweetie!

Much love,

Gabbie




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Review #8, by TidalDragon Purebloods

18th October 2014:
Yes, I'm alive believe it or not (and finally here). Life's been insane recently with no sign of letting up through the end of the month. I'm sorry this is so late.

This chapter was quite dialogue-y, but I thought the way you handled it was largely good despite the imbalance. You did a nice job with the tags or accompanying thoughts/observations so that we were still able to get more out of the conversations than the words themselves.

I also think you're doing a good job with painting a picture of pureblood society within the context of your story rather than beating us over the head with it. The descriptions of settings and activities has really helped in that regard.

What did strike me as rather odd was the number of brazen death threats and the attitudes all the kids (Draco, Blaise, Pansy, Millicent, etc.) had toward each other. I definitely got the spoiled rich kids one-upping vibe, but at the same time, even if they're forced together by these events, you'd get the sense that there's more genuine friendship between them than the heavy almost omnidirectional disdain. Just a thought.

Author's Response: Hello!

Goodness, I'm so sorry that I'm just now answering this review. I've been ridiculously busy and I haven't had the time to really crack down and take care of some of these but here I am! Hahaha.

I didn't intend for the chapter to have so much conversation but I couldn't really avoid it. Haha. I was still setting up the world and all that jazz but thanks so much for saying you were able to follow it. I certainly wasn't able to. Hahahaha.

Okay, Draco and his friends have a relationship that's based more off of convenience than anything else. They know where they stand but they don't exactly like one another, they're always going to attack the weakest of the bunch. It didn't really come off the way I wanted but that was the gist, I guess. Hahaha.

Thanks so much for the review! I'll have to stuff some requests in your thread whenever you're not busy!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #9, by Penelope Inkwell A Force of Wills

27th September 2014:
Oh, Brava, Gabbie! This is the best chapter I’ve read from you yet. I was constantly engaged, just waiting to see what could happen next. The writing was tighter--orderly, great flow.

You just did such a good job on this chapter.

Now I need to gush about the things I enjoyed.

"Mrs. Malfoy having abandoned her quite some time ago to scrape up her ego.”--I love the image you create with this quote

And, oh, Scorpious inviting her to live with him and his girlfriend was so sweet! I know you’ve mentioned that their relationship will have some ups and downs, but right now I love the interactions between the siblings. I love how he knows that, more than anything, she just wants to escape.

I do have this weird, bad feeling for Diana, though. I’m quite worried that she isn’t going to make it.

I found another twin brain wave! Muggle novels! If things stay the same as they are in my drafts, my Astoria has reason to be interested in them, as well.

“They both knew that their father’s business would never be over so long as he was filled with so much hatred.”--this intrigues me. I wonder what her father’s backstory is. Is there a reason behind his vendetta? Have the Greengrasses always been part of the magical mafia, or did her father choose this business, and why?

Ha! When Draco threatens to cut off her fingers and Astoria responds, “You don’t have the guts or the stomach for it, Malfoy. It’s a dirty business.” Brilliant! I just love her so much more, in that moment. I love how, even though she feels so endangered, she never backs down.

“I heard that he’s going to go back to Hogwarts to teach as Potions teacher. And there was something about a girl—”
--Now that’s interesting. But I thought Blaise was still underage? How is he old enough to have a teaching position? It would be interesting to see what Blaise could do at Hogwarts in a position of relative power. If he is planning to work there, I imagine there’s an important reason behind it.

-"'I like you,' Zabini said after a while. 'You’re not nearly as stupid as I thought you were. Good for you.’

-'Thanks, I live for your opinion.' Astoria said dryly."

--Bahaha, I already really like them together!

-“Zabini continuing to make mocking faces until she actually laughed. 'Would you stop doing that? We’re supposed to be hiding!’

-‘Sorry.’”

--That is adorable.

"Astoria said as she distractedly stared at his face, wondering how he was able to stretch and pull at it so easily.”
--I really loved this quote, because I feel like it gives us some interesting insight into Astoria. So, she feels like she always has to keep her face expressionless, and is intrigued by someone who shows so much emotion? That’s such a great detail!


CC:

There are still some run on sentences, or long sentences in need of some extra punctuation.
And, if a character is speaking, unless their words are incorporated in the surrounding sentence, then the quote should start a new sentence.

Eg.) Rather than, Worry lines sketched their way onto Albus’ brow, “I don’t know,” he hedged. it would be, Worry lines sketched their way onto Albus’ brow. “I don’t know,” he hedged.

Or, with a more complicated sentence from the story:

Astoria heard snippets here and there but could not imagine her sister seducing Malfoy, it sickened her to no end, “Be careful, Emily.” Astoria said tightly.

It would be more correct to write:

Astoria heard snippets here and there, but could not imagine her sister seducing Malfoy. It sickened her to no end. “Be careful Emily,” Astoria said tightly.

* I think you could also put a semi-colon between “Malfoy” and “it” if you’d like it to remain one sentence.

That’s just little grammar stuff, but it can help the flow of the story.

--

Overall, I was just really impressed by this chapter. It’s definitely my favorite so far. The way Draco’s demanding nature is juxtaposed against Blaise’s good humor and gentlemanly conduct was excellent. I really felt like I got a stronger grasp on the central characters--what they are really like beneath their masks. Astoria had some one-liners that made me laugh out loud. I just want to applaud her. I love how you make her both brave and vulnerable. It’s very well done.

Thanks so much for the swap, for being my official 100th reviewer for TH (eep!), and for the great reading material.

--Penny

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by with this awesome review, evil twin. I think that we're pretty even when it comes to chapters right now! Hahahhaa.

This was actually my favorite chapter to write but no a real favorite for some of my other readers. I was actually more engaged in this chapter than the others and it just keeps on rolling from here. What I liked the most about this was that there was a good power play going on, you weren't sure what was going to happen next.

Scorpious inviting Astoria to live with him and Diana was just really sweet. It was also kind of sad at the time because we all know that things never go smoothly. You should have a bad feeling about Diana and although I don't mention her much, things don't work out well for her. Hahahah.sorry.

Muggle novels! Whoo!

You get more details about the family business in chapter six. You might be left with more questions but Astoria's father wasn't the one who started it, it was her grandfather. I won't spoil it for you though so you'd just have to keep on reading to find out! :D

Oh, that part with Astoria destroying Malfoy about the fingers. Hahahaah. It was one of my favorite lines. My girl has a sharp mouth, she keeps bouncing back no matter what they do to her.

Okay, that thing about Blaise becoming Potions master was a mistake on my part. I should have elaborated more on that but what I meant was that he was going to try for the position after he had graduated. It would be a good position for him too but for someone who doesn't like children, I feel sorry for his students already...

Hahaha, yes, the face pulling was something that Astoria found fascinating. She can't reveal very much about herself but it was also something that would add a bit of humor to these two. And aren't they just the cutest?!

Oh, the CC's...they make me weep. Hahha.

Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews, this story has gotten a bit of a bump lately and I couldn't be more grateful. I usually only got one review until now! :D

And you're welcome for the 100th review as well! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #10, by GingeredTea Traitors

27th September 2014:
Okay, I'm back for another!

I'm getting curiouser and curiouser about Astoria's father. What, exactly is his 'business'? It's all sort of sounding mobbish to me...

Yup, definitely want to know what Astoria's other 'half' is.

That was a surprise with Zabini.Astoria's reaction was not surprising at all, however (obviously, I'm smarter and more perceptive than you, Draco Malfoy!)

And oh, Draco looks as though he has something terrible planned. He reminds me a bit of petulant toddler.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks again for stopping by! I drop hints about what Astoria's father does and you'll get your answers by chapter six. It's a complicated business that they're in and he's very, ah, demanding. How is it that you're the only one who has guessed the true nature of what they do? Hahahaha. "Mobbish" is exactly right.

Astoria is half demon! That would actually be awesome but nah, she's not.

Blaise is a whole big box of surprises and that's why I love him. Astoria is fascinated by him and well, poor Draco is going to have to get over himself. HAHAHA.

Draco has something planned but nothing works out he way he thinks. Hahahaha. And yes, he's a major brat.


Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #11, by GingeredTea Purebloods

27th September 2014:
You have me interested. I have a suspicion that Astoria is not as sullied as they believe? Perhaps her father is someone worthwhile? Or are all the children actually 'breeds'? Ugh - lots of possibilities. Something is important about her though.

As you can see, I made it pretty far in before I came up for air! Sorry about the delay with reviews - my schedule just doesn't seem to be evening out for me recently and it can be hard to predict when I'll have time to review. I always get back to them, though. :)

"“Emily, what have we always been taught?” Scorpious asked hotly. Astoria said it for her sister. “Never trust a pureblood.”"

Interesting. There is something 'off' about this family, I think. Is the father a spy??

Blaise seems interesting, but maybe he lost interest?

There are lots and lots of questions.

The flow of this chapter was excellent. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back! Hahaha, Astoria's father is not to be trusted and there's nothing worthwile about him, trust me. If you keep reading, you'll see what I mean but until now, keep guessing. Astoria has a secret but I won't reveal it for a long time and no, her other two siblings are purebloods.

Curious, yes?

It's perfectly all right with how late your reviews are. I'm usually late on everything I do so I'm all good.

There are a lot of things wrong with this family, they're all a bit touched in the head. Hahahahhaha.

Blaise hasn't completely lost hope in Astoria but you'll have to keep reading. Hahaha.

So many questions, not enough answers. I know I'm evil. Hahahaha.

Thanks so much, dear!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #12, by TidalDragon Half and Half

25th September 2014:
Well, I've finally made it! You probably thought I forgot about you, right? But I didn't. Just had a rather nightmarish load of work recently.

Anyway, it's really interesting to see how much your writing has evolved over time. You're so much stronger with description, word choice, and characterization now than in this piece! Still, there were ghosts of those here, especially in the beginning that I enjoyed. The attire and Greengrass family relationships were fine examples.

There were two things I found most interesting overall: (1) your main character is once again a marginalized figure, even in the circles they travel in - this seems to be theme for you and it's intriguing (I'd love to know the whys, and here particularly the mechanics of Astoria's half-blood heritage) and (2) you had an incredibly consistent pattern of not exceeding 3 lines per paragraph in this story (was there a rationale? At times it felt deliberate, to sharpen Astoria's negativity and criticisms, but other times it made things a bit unnecessarily choppy.

I'll be back for the next chapter soon as penance for being late.

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey, there! It's good to see that you have returned from the struggles of Real Life! I welcome you back with kittens and lots and lots of chocolate. :D

This was my third (Not quite sure but I'm going to have to check) fanfic and I was still trying to get into the groove of things. I'm glad that you're able to see how much my writing has evolved though, this story itself has changed a lot since this first chapter. It's up to about...24 chapters at the moment so if you kept reading, I hope you'll be able to see how my writing has improved. I've been working on this for almost two years now, can't you believe that? Hahahhaa.

There's a lot of mystery around Astoria in particular and you might not expect some of them. Her half-blood status of course is the main thing that everyone wants an answer to but I think that the truth will surprise you and won't be what you think, at least I hope it won't be.

Ah, some of the paragraphs were like that on purpose and others were just me trying to get through this monster in one piece. It's a bit choppy in places where I was trying to get the kinks out but I smoothed over a lot of those problems in later chapters. :D

Hahahah, I hope to see you again soon with a review for the next chapter. I might have you reading this one for a while until I get Transparent back up there, I'll stop by and request again soon.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #13, by EnigmaticEyes16 A Force of Wills

23rd September 2014:
This story is getting VERY interesting. I was very intrigued by Astoria's little chat with Blaise in the pantry. He doesn't really seem like a terrible guy and it was nice to see him come out of his quiet shell a bit. I can't wait to see more of Astoria's interactions with him, because looking at the titles of upcoming chapters, I can see that there is definitely going to be more. And I'm also very curious to see what Draco does next. I wonder if we will see him again before they go off to Hogwarts.

But that is it for today, I need some sleep. These are some very long chapters you write, but I have to say, it never gets dull.

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again with this lovely review. I'm glad that a lot of people have come to this story and I hope we continue to chat, I still owe you a review and I'll get to it right after this!

Blaise isn't nearly as terrible as Draco is and might actually be a decent guy. Hahaha. I wrote him as a bit more reserved and the conversation that he has with Astoria in the pantry only shows the first real signs of his character.

Oh, there's going to be more interactions between Blaise and Astoria. Hahaha. The story goes into a way different direction after chapter six so you're just going to have to wait and see. Draco does show up again but just not in the way you expect.

Hahah, go to sleep! I have long chapters and I'd rather not have you guys passing out when you need rest. Hahahah.

Thanks a lot!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #14, by EnigmaticEyes16 Purebloods

22nd September 2014:
Jeez, that was intense. I was reading the second half of this to the end, practically on the edge of my seat, my little ipod touch less than a foot away from my face, mentally going "ah!" the entire time. And the game hasn't even started yet! Or has it? Hmmm.

Okay, a lot happened in this chapter. I think I like and I don't like Draco. I'm legit torn on my feelings for him in this story. He's kind of a total jerk. Especially when she's fainted and he still wants to have his way with her, and at the same time keeps telling Blaise to just dump her somewhere. But I was glad that Blaise was gentlemanly enough to catch her before she fell and lay her down gently, and that he protected her from Draco and the other guys until her siblings came in.

I'm also glad we got to see that there's a little more to Emily in this chapter. She cares for her sister, but she seems to smooze her way through things, purposely involving herself with men she's trying to get information out of. I'm very intrigued by their "family business" and very curious as to what exactly their father's goal is here since they seem to all hate purebloods so much. And I'm very curious about the threats Astoria has on Malfoy... although I don't know why he would want her to be his, and want to ruin her at the same time... is that so she has to turn to him for help? Maybe? He's seems to have a pretty twisted view of things...

I am going to have to read on some more because I'm very curious to know what's happening and this story has totally ensnared me. It's very well written, too, my only issue is there are so many commas around the dialogue where there should probably be periods and it can be slightly confusing figuring out who's speaking at times. But other than that, I'm loving this story.

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by, I'm glad that you've enjoyed the story so far. Bwhahaha, I hope you didn't hurt your iPod touch by having it that close to your face though, I've learned my lesson with technology. Hahhah.

Anyhoo, Draco is a complete and utter sleaze in this story and a lot of people pretty much give up on him right about now. I wrote him that way on purpose and its really sad that the only thing on his mind is when he can have Astoria for his own. Blaise is more old fashioned than the others and he wouldn't have let anything happen to Astoria, he's actually human.

Ah, yes. Emily has a bit more depth to her than what you might have seen in the first chapter and while she's not particularly a favorite, I'm glad that people understood that she does love her sister. Being with various men for information is all a part of the business their family is involved in and you'll find out more about that later.

Astoria's father has information on everyone so of course, she knows more about the Malfoy family than Draco does. Hahaha. Draco has an intense lust for Astoria, it really can't be explained very well so I hope you do stick around longer. :D

I'll have to go in and fix those mistakes, it's been a long time since I've actually took a step back and looked through each chapter. Thanks for telling me though!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #15, by EnigmaticEyes16 Half and Half

22nd September 2014:
Hi! I am here for our review swap! Sorry it took me so long, I got temporarily distracted but I did not forget.

Anyway, so far this seems very intriguing. I like Astoria a lot so far and her disdain for pureblood society, and just about everyone we've met so far, lol. Although i was a bit confused with her siblings, since I always see her and Daphne as sisters. But I'm intrigued by her brother being called Scorpious... But I do love that he has her back as her sister has yet to have a personality under her good daughter demeanor.

There's definitely something going on in Draco's mind about Astoria that I am dying for a glimpse of. I saw that you have two one-shots concerning this coupling and I may have to check those out, too.

This game so far is also very interesting and I think I'm just gonna have to read on to find out what happens during it. I did notice a few mistakes here and there, just some little typos and one or two weird word choices but nothing that couldn't easily be cleared up with a beta maybe.

So far though, this is really good. I think I'm definitely going to have to read on because I want to know what happens next.

Again, thanks for the review swap! I'm glad I got to read this story so far.

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by and it's really all right that it took you a minute to get here. I always take too long with my own reviews and people have too much faith in my power to resist chocolate. Hahahha.

Astoria has a lot of issues with purebloods at the moment and I think that if you keep reading, you'll only see that it goes far beyond hatred. There's no Daphne Greengrass in this story, it's sort of an AU so don't worry about that. Hahaha. Ah, so many people are interested in Scorpious's name and well, it really isn't what you think.

Scorpious does love his sister though and he'd never let anything happen to her.

If you had wanted to know more about Draco's feelings towards Astoria, you could try out those one-shots. I'm going through an editing process for "Monsters in the Dark" though so if I update it and you seem a little confused, that's why. Hahhaah.

Thanks so much for stopping by with this lovely review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #16, by Penelope Inkwell Traitors

20th September 2014:
Woah! Points to Blaise! (though, after spending so much time in my version of Astoria’s head, my first thought is still, “This is not wise!”)

I also like Emily a lot more, here. She’s gone back up in my estimation, being protective of her little sister like that. And her advice does not sound half bad...

“He was dating that broomwreck?”--I always enjoy seeing normal idioms translated into the wizarding world. Love it!

So the Greengrasses are, like, Personal Revenge Consultants? Who you can hire to ruin your enemies? That is fascinating! It’s also a nice twist, since I was assuming that Astoria had her own room because she was, like, a werewolf or a vampire or something, but this is more original and makes perfect sense.

So, the count so far is that our Astorias: (1) Both have issues with Pureblood society, (2) Both are well trained in digging up secrets, (3) Have a penchant for revenge, (4) Have connections to the Order of the Phoenix, and (4) Cannot get rid of Draco Malfoy. However, I still find our stories to be really different. It’s so interesting! Our evil twin mental connection is apparently quite strong. ; )

I have hope that Draco will improve, but right now he’s truly despicable, so I’m inclined to have to temporarily ship Astoria and Blaise. I’m still stuck on his very dramatic departure from the Death Eaters. What will that mean?! I’m certainly interested in finding out, so that was an excellent use of a plot twist. Bravo!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hey, there!

Thanks for coming back, you've been really awesome. Points to Blaise indeed but of course, it's going to backfire in some way and I'm glad that you're catching on to it.

Ah, Emily does grow on you after a while and she's very protective of Astoria. I don't think that her advice is going to work out in the way that she thinks though...

Bwhahah, "broomwreck" always makes me laugh.

Well...I would say that the Greengrass's are more like the mafia but you've given them a much more esteemed title. Hahahhaa. Astoria would make a good vampire and that idea is actually so AWESOME that I would totally write that! Too bad that I didn't think of it at all...

Our Astoria's continue to be so unique and so different! I'm really eager to get back to TH too, I want to know how your Astoria is doing.

Twin mental connection power!

I'm supposed to transform but it didn't work...

Anyway, Draco doesn't improve but I don't want you to give up on him just yet. You should ship Astoria/Blaise though, there's something happening there. Hahhaha.

You'll have to read the next chapter if you want to find out what happens though, I won't tell you! :D

Thanks for coming by!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #17, by GingeredTea Half and Half

20th September 2014:
I really liked the first line you chose for this story - setting up the mood of the main character right off the bat.

I pretty much suck at grammar, but I was a bit distracted by the lack of it some places. Like here:

The moment [or opportunity?] would spare her the agony of being near the horrid people that[who] were[would] (going to - cross out) be tainting her night later on[;] but[crossout] when no such hole appeared[,] or no unearthly creature offered her the salvation she craved, her heart sank.

You have a few paragraphs/ sentences that would work awesomely with a semi-colon.

I really like the thought-process you have exposed to the reader in this story and the flow just kept getting better and better as you went on. I was laughing somewhere toward the middle, which I usually don't.

The end was admittedly a bit creepy. The game was...well lets just say I share Astoria's opinion on it exactly.

All in all I really enjoyed this first chapter and would love to come back for another! Sorry this review took so long. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh, goodness. I thought that you had vanished on me and it's so good to see that you're back! This means that you can stuff as many requests for Devlin Potter in my review thread! I'm already excited! Go do that nyow! I have another slot open in my review thread! DO IT.

Anyhoo, thanks so much for stopping by, I didn't think that you would actually read/review after so long. I think my favorite part of this entire chapter is the fact that it starts off so dark and poor Astoria's thoughts of her pureblood counterparts only gets worse.

ARGH! I hate that part of this chapter, I am totally going to edit the mess out of that. I had been meaning to upload the edited chapter for this but I keep forgetting, I'd actually cleaned that little bit up a looong time ago.

Ah, dark humor. It is my friend! I'm glad that you were able to laugh though, I can't really write an angsty story without a few laughs.

The end is supposed to make you feel really creeped out. So many people have commented on that game and I can't blame them for wanting to whisk Astoria away. Hahahaha.

Come back anytime, it would be lovely to hear from you! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #18, by Penelope Inkwell Purebloods

20th September 2014:
Ugh. I feel violated. You do an excellent job and making Draco the absolute king of sleaziness. Ick! Poor Astoria. I mean, that is some serious harassment.

I was really happy with Emily for a while. She didn’t seem like such a simpering fool when she swooped in to save her little sister, and she legitimately seemed more concerned with her than she was about her reputation.

And then, after seeing how absolutely horrid Malfoy is, she suggests that Astoria try to get close to him, to benefit the family? Ick. Pureblood manipulation, through and through. But it was very realistic.

“What? We do, I’m just saying, we could…let him go missing.” Scorpious said with a playful shrug and Astoria shuddered, they couldn’t have that happening again. It was why there was only three of them now...” Oh my gosh, do they mean Daphne? I know you said that she wasn’t part of the story, but did she die?!

Way to be a gentleman, Blaise. It’s nice to know that one of their number is at least capable of being decent.

I am interested in the way that the Greengrass siblings talk about Purebloods. Obviously Astoria isn’t one, but Emily and Scorpius are, yet they’re pretty derisive towards the whole group. Do they think they, themselves, are untrustworthy as well? Or are they not really Purebloods?

"She omitted the fact that it only became necessary when there was information that needed to be stolen...” Ah! An Astoria after my own heart. Love it!

You really do a great job with the creepy, skin-crawly tone. I’m interested to see how Astoria handles Draco. I believe in her!


--Penny

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again with this awesome review! Hahaha, Draco is the nastiest bit of pureblood out there, isn't he? I liked writing him though and poor Astoria indeed.

Emily would probably kill someone for Astoria (There's a pun in there somewhere) and she would toss aside her reputation in a heartbeat. Hahahahaha. Well, Emily is a Greengrass through and through, she knows what they need and puts that over say, having a soul.

Blaise is a gentleman. He's fantastic.

Daphne was not killed, don't you worry about that! Hahahaha. It does make you wonder what that might mean though...doesn't it? >:)

Scorpious and Emily have a rather interesting view on purebloods. Their parents raised them to hate them, obviously but I've seen a lot of people in RL who hate their own race and sort of played off of that there.

The skin-crawly tone only gets worse as you read! I hope you stick around for more!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #19, by Penelope Inkwell Half and Half

17th September 2014:
So, first of all, woah. I love seeing different portrayals of Astoria, because they’re pretty rare, and this one certainly looks to be interesting. You have an incredible way of creating the feel of the chapter. I could really feel that sense of just...sickly opulence. It was like Edgar Allen Poe. I just imagined all these people at this glittering party, but somehow everything is just gross and twisted and wrong. You really did a wonderful job of creating that sensation of a hideous masquerade. I wouldn’t want to be there, either! And your description of the room the school-aged kids are in--the yellow light and the opening of hell--that was just so striking. Very good work. This chapter just has what I think of as “good texture”.

Now, for a running commentary:

I am already intrigued! Why does she have her own room?

Hmm. Emily seems a bit brainwashed, but excellent for contrast. So there’s Scorpius, Emily, and Astoria. Does Daphne still exist in this story? Has something happened to her? Is that one of the many family secrets?!

“And the children can relax and chat,”--snort. Yeah. This seems like a chill sort of crowd, right?

I love your description of the pureblood boys as, “looking dark and sickly.”

Astoria is a half-blood? OH MY GOSH THE SCANDAL!!!
...possibly I’ve been a Slytherin for too long.

Clearly Astoria and Scorpius are brothers/sisters-at-arms. It sounds as though they’re the only thing keeping each other remotely sane. I love that you made Scorpius her brother’s name, so that her son will be his namesake. (But I do hope that doesn’t mean he’ll die!)

I like that Astoria is already standing up to Draco. Way to show some spunk, girl! The fact that she’s a half blood living in a pureblood world and still has so much spirit is really admirable.

Hide-and-go-seek with this lot will NOT go well, Astoria! These are not people you want to be sought by Astoria! Go back into the hallway and find anyone else to talk to, Astoria!

Oh, good, she’s not planning on being there. No doubt she’ll somehow be dragged into it, but I’m very pleased that Astoria is sensible.

Ew. Draco is just so slimy here. That must have been fun to write!

Aaaand, she’s dragged into it. Heavens, this game sounds positively debauched, especially for a girl growing up in the psuedo-1800’s! Run, Astoria, run!


CC:

Mostly it’s just general grammar stuff. There are some places where a sentence needs to be split in two, or commas need to be added--little stuff like that. I did jot down one specific thing:

"Emily liked this sort of thing, parties and dances and zoos, because that was what this was and Astoria groaned inwardly and tried to salvage the remains of her scalp. “ I think you could cut out ‘because that was what this was’. Your meaning is already clear, and the addendum makes the snarky comment sort of lose its bite. It’s a brilliant comparison, though. I like Snarky Astoria!


This is fascinating. I am just so intrigued! Great work!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by evil twin! I'm really glad that you enjoyed this first chapter, I wasn't sure if you were going to or not. I am so glad that we found each other! :D

*Plays sexy background music*

I am going to be honest and say that I am a lover of detail. I think that I can go a bit overboard sometimes but I really love putting a reader right into the scene and making them see what I'm writing, if that makes any sense. Edgar Allen Poe, you say? Why, thank you! I had meant for Malfoy Manor to feel sort of like a circus or a ball with a dark, dreary undertone. There's something so sickening about being in a room with people with fake smiles, there's nothing more chilling to me. Well, clowns are scary too so never mind.

Astoria has her own room because of...reasons which will be made clear later on in the story. Hahahaha. This story is sort of like an AU and there is no Daphne Greengrass in this story, I didn't want to include her for some reason. I can't remember why but I think that it sort of works without another child, though there used to be four Greengrass children originally but that's another story. :D

Astoria IS a half-blood! How dare she be anything other than pure?! >:D

Ah, Scorpy. I think that a lot of people are rooting for him and Astoria in the first half of the story but he won't be the same person towards the current chapter. You might not like him so much! But here, he's supportive and kind to his baby sister and they do make a great pair. :D

Emily is a bit brainwashed but she enjoys the spotlight.

Astoria and Draco have had many encounters in the past and their relationship is far from sweet. I think that their like two cats circling one another or something, she is never going to be able to tolerate him.

Bwhahah, I have way too much fine writing Draco. I think that he's a character that has so many faces and he's just so unlikeable in this story! I can't resist the challenge!

Oh, that game. SO many people have told me that its quite scandalous of the children and well, Astoria will find her freedom. The night won't go as planned but she isn't going to be forced into something that she can't get out of. At least not right now.

Muahahahhaha.

Thanks for the CC's too, I'd spotted those ages ago and for some reason, have been too lazy to put up the edited chapter for this story. Hahahahha.

Much love,

Gabbie



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Review #20, by Infinityx Monster

14th September 2014:
Hi, here for your requested review.

I just couldn't stop reading. My eyes were glued to the screen until I completed it and I wanted to leave reviews as I read but it was too engrossing to stop.

This is like, everything I enjoy reading put together in one and I LOVE IT. Also, if you haven't noticed, it's gone straight into my favourites.

Okay, since I'm reviewing the final updated chapter, I guess I won't be able to completely touch on every single aspect so when I get the time, I'll go back and review each chapter.

You have created such a brilliant, enthralling universe here with such a deep, dark plot, and your writing style completely brings out the various moods in each situation in a really powerful way. There were so many times when my heart began racing and I just had to read on and find out what happened.

Totally love the whole Mafia type setting you've got going on with the Greengrass family. Maximus Greengrass gives me the chills and it's as though he's omnipresent, it's so creepy. Every time his character appeared, even the slightest of movements he made were filled with
so much significance, especially during the whole exchange between him and Blaise.

And BLAISE. He's just oozing with exterior calm and confidence and the way he handles Maximus is just. Wow. I was so scared that he would be cursed any second and I was kind of waiting for him to just drop dead but I'm glad that didn't happen. I knew it probably wouldn't happen in order for the plot to progress, but that didn't stop me from being terrified. Just. andepfmkm.

And Scorpious. You know, about the spelling. I get that it's a typo but I think the spelling makes a distinction between Astoria's brother and Scorpius from canon - Draco's son. I suggest you keep the spelling that way. I don't think I'll be able to think of him as 'Scorpius' because the entire personality is formed and now there's an identity to 'Scorpious', if you know what I mean.

Coming to his characterization. There's something about him that keeps me at the edge of my seat. Until the whole incident at Knockturn Alley, he seemed like quite a rational person who cared about what Astoria's wishes were, and he was just endearing in a way. And the other side to him, the mad one. That gave me thrills. You wrote that scene so brilliantly that I was put in a kind of scenario where I could visualize the expression on his face and the extent of his anger clearly. You really have a knack for writing action scenes. And when Scorpious finally showed his tears when Astoria was leaving...that broke me. I really hope there's some way of making him understand Astoria's position because she needs as much support as she can get right now.

Emily on the other hand. I don't really like her much. She seems really overbearing and egotistic and it's sad the way she doesn't really have a mind of her own because of her fear of her dad. But she's also quite intriguing. She does kind of understand that she's being controlled but she's fine with it. I am SO curious to know exactly how Leo died. It's obvious that Maximus killed him or had him killed and I'm trying to piece the various details together but I need MORE. :D

Draco Malfoy makes me want to throw up. He's such a slime ball in this and I hate how he has such pure lust towards Astoria. The amount of mental scarring she must have with his hands and mouth all over her whenever he sees her...it's just horrifying. I'm also really curious to see whether you'll follow canon and have Draco end up with Astoria or whether you'll break away from that.

I TOTALLY SHIP BLAISE/ASTORIA, I MEAN, WHO WOULDN'T AFTER READING THIS, THEY ARE JUST THE CUTEST.

So, I'm guessing that Astoria has to give in to Draco's advances? That's probably the condition her father gave her? I'm not to sure because she was fighting him off quite vehemently in this chapter so I'm DYING to know what happens.

The plot so far has been AMAZING and I can sense that there'll be a lot of twists coming up. I really love how you've tied this in with canon. The appearance of Ginny and Neville was a lovely surprise and I'm really impressed by your writing.

I noticed a lot of misplaced apostrophes throughout the chapters though, like when they're used for plural words. I suggest you go through them or have someone look over the chapters because, at least for me, they were quite distracting and I wouldn't want the flow in such a great plot disrupted because of such errors.

I am so curious about the engagement rings as well. There has GOT to be a catch. I refuse to believe that they are a harmless gift. Nuh uh. Not from Maximus.

And I NEED to know Astoria's background. I am so confused there because I wasn't able to completely understand how she ended up in the family even though there's some mention about it in the initial chapters. What could be so extreme about it that knowing it would scare Blaise away? :o

I'm sorry for such a rambling review but I just read all the chapters at a stretch and my head is reeling from the intensity of every scene. Love this. Thank you for requesting, I'm so glad I read this.

BUT I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND THE BACKGROUND AND EVERYTHING, GABBIE, PLEASE, FOR THE SAKE OF MY SANITY, UPDATE SOON.

~Erin

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks a lot for leaving me this really amazing, monstrous review. I've been trying to find the time to answer this for a few weeks now and I'm finally going to crack down and do it!

I apologize in advance if I don't touch on everything you talked about! D':

I'm so happy that you enjoyed this story so much, it really means a lot to me. I have been writing this for a little over two years now, I think and it's only just now getting noticed. I was starting to think that maybe I had pushed myself a little too far with my plot but you've made me feel a lot better about it.

This is one of my more darker stories when it comes to tone though so I have to really get into the zone. Whenever I write Maximus, I have to really stop myself from shuddering, he's such a nasty character but he's kind of like a ghost. He can be everywhere and nowhere at once.

Blaise may come to regret testing him though and I'm really glad that you like him as well, girls love that guy. Hahahha.

I'm really relieved about how you feel about Scorpious too. I feel that the more I wrote him, he became more MINE and I didn't think that I would be able to write him any other way. I can't change his name because then he would be a completely different person to me and it wouldn't feel right.

A lot of people have commented on the fact that Scorpious changes so much during this story. I wanted to show that things could change without warning and that madness was something that ran in the Greengrass family as closely as secrets. It was hard writing him hurting Astoria though and it was even harder for me to get him to a point where his madness truly took over. BUT it was obvious when she left home that he did still love her and I don't thin that he'll ever be able NOT to. I'm not sure if he'll ever accept what she's done though but he'd kill for her, that's for sure.

Emily is not a favorite for many but I thought that she would have been an interesting contrast for Astoria. I thought that she would be the final product of a life that their father wanted and well, it sort of ruined her in some way.

Leo's death is a fishy mystery that I'm going to clear up in a few chapters. I don't want to keep you guys guessing on that one too much but yes, Maximus either had him killed or killed him.

Draco will continue to be a sleaze, trust me. I can't imagine the kind of horror that Astoria has gone through, dealing with him for so long.

BLASTORIA FOR LIFE!

Ah, Astoria doesn't have to give in to Draco, her father is after blood. >:)

I'm trying to show more canon characters as this goes on. Now that they're at Hogwarts, they're going to be surrounded by people you all recognize so I'm hoping that goes well.

Hahah, you're the only one who has picked up that thing about the engagement rings. It's not at all what it appears. Hehehehehe.

Astoria's background will be made clear soon, I'm hoping to get to that before chapter thirty.

Thank you SO much for the review and I promise, I'll be stuffing another chapter into the queue as soon as I update my other stories. Hahahhaha.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #21, by Xavier Kadmiel Half and Half

4th August 2014:
I thoroughly enjoyed this. Although I was not entirely familiar with all the characters beforehand, this made me feel like I could identify them with no problem now. I especially love the characterization of Historia, you can really identify with her plight. The only problem I encountered while reading was sometimes not recognizing which characters were speaking at a moment. But that could simply be my inability to juggle multiple characters at once with my mind processing lol. Overall, its a really well written first chapter, its inviting and leaves me wanting to find out what happens next.

Author's Response: Hello!


Thanks for taking the time to stop by and leave me a review, buddy! Its a shame that you're not very familiar with the HP universe and I suggest you get on that right away before I cast you in the fire! Hahah.

Astoria, not "Historia" my friend and yes, I think that I put in a sense of doom with her fairly well. You can obviously sense that things aren't going to go very well for her and I like that you were able to keep reading! I know that its kind of hard to figure out who's speaking sometimes and I have to go back and edit that at some point but thanks for pointing that out to me!

I hope I see you again!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #22, by CassiePotter Turmoil

13th May 2014:
GABBIE. GABBIE THIS WAS SO GOOD BUT IT WAS SO SCARY. DRACO IS SO CREEPY AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT.
I wasn't expecting this chapter to go the way it did! Astoria is such a fighter that I never thought she'd consider giving Malfoy what she wants! But he knows where her weaknesses are, and he knows exactly what to say to get to her and it kills me! Can't Blaise just regain consciousness and go beat Malfoy up and sweep Stori off her feet?
I just can't believe how far Malfoy is willing to go to get Stori. You did a brilliant job showing his obsession with her. I could tell that for him it seems like his fascination with her is almost out of his control and he can't not go after her every time he gets the chance. I also felt how afraid Stori was and honestly this whole chapter just gave me goosebumps!
This story is so fantastic and I can't wait for more! Also, there's a new chapter of ASOS waiting for you! :) 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm so sorry that it took so long for me to review for you but here I am! Its always lovely getting your reviews for this story, I hardly ever hear from any other readers so its always nice knowing what you think! This was the chapter that took me FOREVER to write, I had no idea how it was going to turn out and I'd worked through about three other versions of it without really getting what I needed. In the end, this turned out way better than I thought. Thank goodness.
Hahha.
Astoria will fight until she has no breath left and you know how much her freedom means to her but Malfoy knows her just as well as Blaise to some extent. He knows how to push her buttons and he knows that she has no other option but to do as he says.
Ah, the next chapter will give you the action you want! Blaise will be back and things will get so dramatic and bloody that I can hardly stop myself from giggling. Hehehe.
You have been warned.
Draco was a hard character to get back into, I hadn't written him for nearly six-seven chapters and it took a long time to get back into his mind. I'm glad that it worked though but his obsession with her will be something that proves to be his downfall.
I'm working on the next chapter so I hope you'll be patient and wait for it! :D
I left a review for ASOS so you can hop on over and check that out! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #23, by CassiePotter Secrets

8th February 2014:
GABBIE. GABBIE OH MY GOODNESS I'M SPEECHLESS.
This chapter... And the end... Blaise... Stori... Maximus... the end with Draco.
Wen this chapter started out I honestly had no idea where you were going to take things, and Stori's father just continued to make me feel so awful! He does so many horrible things with no mercy whatsoever, and I don't understand how he can be so cruel while being so nonchalant about it! And Scorpious isn't any better! The change between how he was at the beginning of this story and how he is now just makes me really horrified! It shows how much control Maximus really has over his wife and children, which is terrifying! I'm so impressed the Stori had the courage to leave when she knows how much her father is capable of!
Then when she and Blaise got to Hogwarts, and he was being so charming and cute and I LOVED it, I thought they were finally going to get some peace! I was curious to see how Draco would come back into the story, but I never expected what actually happened! I thought it was going to be at least a day later, when Stori was alone. I never thought he would attack Blaise and actually drag her out of there!
Speaking of which, OH MY GOSH. I'm really scared for Stori right now, because I don't think Draco understands the concept of "too far." Plus, they were on their way to her private dorm, so there probably aren't going to be a lot of people around, and Draco just covered her mouth so she can't scream, and BLAISE IS UNCONSCIOUS. You have just made me melt into a nervous little puddle of feels!
I can't wait for you to update this story after that cliffhanger, and I hope it won't be too long until I get a new chapter to devour! This story is incredible, and I can't believe how often you keep surprising me while I read it! Just when I think things can't get any worse for poor Astoria, they do! I need more to read!!! Wonderful writing, as always! Please update this as soon as you can! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

I am so sorry that I'm just now getting back to this review. I've been really busy and things have been crazy lately but here I am and this is about to get intense! Hahahahaha.
This chapter too me forever to write, I went through a lot of different versions before I was finally able to get this right. Maximus is just the worst but what's sad is that Scorpious is sort of turning into his father and that was so awful for me to write, especially since he's so consumed with rage.
Stori had to get out of there or else she would have been completely devoured by the insanity that was in that house and I'm glad that she finally got out of there too. I had been wanting to get them out of the house for a while but hadn't quite managed to do it right. I'm glad that it worked out. D':
Oh, Blaise! Isn't he just the most perfectly acharming person in the world? I love him to death. But right as you thought that they might get some peace, things just get worse for them! Muahahahahahaha.
Draco has been going through his own sort of insanity and in the next chapter, he really does show what he's capable of. I hope you won't be too scared...he's just going to be a little naughty, though that could mean all sorts of things with him. >:D
Blaise is unconscious and that means that Astoria is in some serious trouble! How will she get out of this?! Hahahahha. I'm sorry that you turned into a puddle of feels but I was sort of surprised that I was still able to breathe after it was over. HAHAH.
This chapter...the feels...
Anyhoo, I'll be updating this pretty soon so I hope you stay tuned and patient!
Thanks so much, as always!
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #24, by jazz16 Sibling

12th January 2014:
I really love how angsty your stories are :) I really like how Astoria is portrayed in these stories but I have to ask...are Astoria & Blaise together forever now? I really like Draco/Astoria but I admit, he is a complete jerk. Great job, I really enjoy all your stories!

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there newbie! Its great that you've stopped by to check out all of my stories and feel free to leave me a thousand reviews and junk. That would make me happy! DO IT.
All joking aside, Astoria and Blaise are together now and forever and ever sounds really great but then again...there's Draco Malfoy to deal with and yes, he's a major prat! But just wait until what he does later and you might just want to beat me up. HAHAHHAAHAHA.
Much love,
Gabbie


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Review #25, by CassiePotter Sibling

17th December 2013:
Hi Gabbie!
Oh my goodness. I absolutely adore this story. It is so wonderfully written! I can't get enough of it (not just because I LOVE Blastoria :D), and I'm so excited to see where it goes from here!
I got chills through probably this entire chapter. The beginning with Scorpious was amazing, and the change from how he was in the first few chapters to how he is now is mind-boggling! He was so sweet and caring when we first met him, and now he seems like a completely different person! It really shows what being a part of the Greengrass family can do to someone, and I'm happy that Astoria is trying to get out of there before she's totally stuck!
Then there's Maximus... He is so terrifying. The way that he always keeps this cool composure while toying with the idea of killing people is so scary! You've created such a layered character through that, because we're never really able to tell what he's thinking, and he can say one thing but mean something else entirely! It's a good thing he and Rowena never met... Imagine how scary that couple would be!
I love, love, loved the end of this chapter! The moving engagement rings were a bit unsettling, but it was the moment after that that's sticking with me! We got the reminder that Malfoy is still very much a part of Astoria's life, and I'm really nervous about what will happen when she goes back to Hogwarts! (I have to be honest, I'm also kind of excited just because I love the way you write Draco)
This chapter was really incredible. Your characters are fabulous and the plot always keeps me guessing! I can't wait for the next chapter! I think ASOS is up next for me... I'll let you know when I figure that out! Haha. 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HellO!

I'm glad to see you again and its so great to see that you're still in love with the story, it means a lot to me! Scorpious goes through the most changes aside from Astoria in this story and it was really hard to write for a while because I'd loved his character so much in the beginning. Watching him become slowly more like their father just gives me the chills!
Astoria is trying to get out as soon as she can but there's still so much that she can't let go of, her love for her siblings and mother will be something that she won't be able to forget.
Maximus Greengrass is perhaps the most terrifying character I have right now. I mean, I really have to get into the zone when I'm writing him and its a lot tougher than you might think! Technically, he would be considered a sociopath if you wanted to get a name for why he's so calm and controlled about what he does. There's no real warmth in people like that and its great to write but I sort of have to take a deep breath after writing his scenes.
You'll never be able to tell what he's thinking and it only gets worse from here...
God, he and Rowena would probably be best friends! How horrifying is that?!!
The moving engagement rings will play a bigger part at some point but oh, dear! That ending...Mr. Draco Malfoy is getting ready to show up again and I can't wait to see what you'll think about him! God, I've missed writing him...hehehehe.
Thank you SO much for the compliment my dear and I hope I see you around! Albus, Audrey and Abandon are all up so you have plenty to read until we're able to update again!
Much love,
Gabbie


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