Reading Reviews for A Force Of Wills
  
98 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Penelope Inkwell Revenge

1st September 2015:
Hey Gabbie! Penny here for our review swap!

So, I know I had that temporary ban on Drastoria stories, but I've been wanting to find out what happens next in this for ages. Rules are meant to be broken! So, I'm back! Hooray!

By the way, I've officially given up on Draco...in this story, at least. I can't even believe that me-from-the-past ever even considered giving him a chance. Did I have head trauma? Because he is gross and that is messed up!. I was doing some rereading to catch back up and just...uuuggghhh.

Actually, I need to add a little more, for emphasis: UGGGHHgh!!! *shivers with disgust*

Astoria deserves so much better!

Okay, so I'm liking the vibe that's sprung up between Blaise and Astoria. He actually does seem to be a gentleman, mostly. Nice to see that someone can manage to keep their hands to themselves. He's right about her, too--I can see why he'd find her intriguing. Astoria is a bit of a conundrum. She's a loner, and she hates Purebloods even though all of her family members are Purebloods themselves. Besides that, there is the sense that she's a gentle soul, kind of innocent despite all the darkness she's surrounded by, but there is that snappiness to her, and you've mentioned that she's got her father's temper. There are lots of angles there--no denying that she'd be an interesting person to get to know. It's nice that Blaise sees that, and actually tries to talk to her, rather than being...well, super creepy (*cough* Draco *cough*).

But yeah, I'd really like to see Blaise and Astoria getting to know more of each other.

And yeah! You tell 'em, Blaise. I know it'll probably get them into so much trouble with the younger Pureblood set, but I'm so glad Blaise exposed Draco's creepy, sketchy game. And the fact that he was harassing Astoria. Plus anyone that can keep their composure under the scrutiny of Scorpious "I-Cut-People's-Fingers-Off-And-Would-Do-Anything-To-Protect-My-Baby-Sister" Greengrass is obviously pretty good at keeping his cool. That could be a handy skill to have, what with the impending war and all.

And Astoria, I was proud of her, too! I know that Blaise might not thank her for it, but I'm glad she was able to make that scene at the dinner table less of a big deal with just a few words. Both their necks were potentially on the line, and while it was very noble of him to take a stand, the pragmatic side of me just insists that it was not smart. She probably saved his damn life. Definitely both their reputations.

And he smoothly slips her his number...well, address? Close enough.



CC:
You know me and my CC--I always try to give it, as a rule. But I tend to give the most on the stories I really appreciate. General: watch for run-on sentences and missing commas.

Of course, this should have alarmed her to the unnerving fact
--I think, in this case, "alerted" might be better than "alarmed"

He was vile, cruel and ignorant and the only thing he could offer her was distance and because that was how her life would end some way or another if she married a pureblood, she would not cave.
--This sentence confused me a little. What was how her life would end? With distance? It might be good to clarify that, because I stumbled over it.

(1) crisp trees in spring, “why are you acting this way with me?

(2) "did he tell you what he wanted out of me at some point?”
--the first words of both the sentences in quotes should be capitalized, even though they are part of the previous sentence. Really, though, since the previous sentences aren't describing the dialogue, those commas should probably be periods, and the sentences in quotes should be left to stand on their own.

"You have no guts Greengrass to do what you like."
--there should be a comma before and after "Greengrass"

Malfoy’s
--several times the plural of Malfoys is written as "Malfoy's", but you don't need the apostrophe--just the "s".

and Astoria felt that this all was he fault.
--he = her

“I managed to get Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy interest about a concerning problem.
--I think this is meant to be either, "I managed to get Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy's interest about..." or "I managed to get Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy interested in a concerning problem."

Astoria was surprised o see
-- o = to

Now, Blaise, what is this all about and make haste,” Mr. Malfoy said venomously.
--since "what is this all about" is a question, the dialogue should end in a question mark. But there are different ways to do it. It could be: "Now, Blaise, what is this all about and make haste?” Mr. Malfoy said venomously"--which looks kind of weird, so I see why you didn't do that. But it is a question. So maybe, "Now, Blaise, what is this all about? And make haste!” Mr. Malfoy said venomously," might work better?

Mr. Malfoy and Mrs. Malfoy exchanged looks but there was no remorse in them and Astoria was reminded of strapping dead things.
--what is a strapping dead thing? I didn't totally understand the image.


I zoomed through this chapter and am definitely looking forward to finding out what happens next! I'm dying to see how everyone will interact at Hogwarts! But then I also have so many questions about the Greengrasses that are begging for answers! And more Blaise! This party has been illuminating, but I'm hoping that, in the privacy of home, a few more answers will slip out about this mafia business? So intriguing!

Highlight reel:“Ms. Greengrass, did I lay my hand, my mouth or anything remotely interesting on you in that pantry?” --Okay, it's inappropriate, but I laughed. Such snark!

Great job with this chapter! I continue to be fascinated by this story and the situation you've set up here. I always enjoy swapping with you!

--Penny

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Review #2, by blackballet Half and Half

31st July 2015:
Hi I'm here for a review swap from the forums!

I love Astoria's character so much. I am a little confused about her half-blood status. Is she a child born of an affair, or are all her siblings half-bloods? Anyway, I'm sure that will be revealed in the future, along with more of her alleged family secrets.


I really like your characterization of Malfoy, especially the fact that he has no shame. The bit where he blatantly stares at Astoria's neck really proves his arrogance and self-confidence.

I love how you got into the action so quickly as well, and I already feel as if there is a cliff hanger! I DETEST writing first chapters, so it was lovely to see one that was so daring and inspiring. Congratulations on that front.

I was also afraid of reading such a long first chapter, as I usually stick to 2000-4000 word chapters, but this didn't seem too long at. It was the perfect length, and definitely leaves the reader wanting more.

I'm happy to say that you've absolutely made me look at Draco in a new light as a love interest. I haven't read any Draco fics since my dark dramione days back in 2012!

Thanks so much and I can't wait to keep reading
blackballet

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for stopping by! I am happy that you liked Astoria, she's a very complicated character to write for and I'm always glad that people love her. You actually don't find out about her half=blood status until much later on in the story but it's not what you think.

The Greengrass family secrets are more disturbing than you may realize but I won't spoil it for you. Hahahaha.

Malfoy is a spoiled little rat, he wouldn't find it in himself to be discreet about anything. Hahahaha. He wants Astoria and so, he's going to do whatever he can to have her.

I always write cliffhangers because I honestly have no idea what I'm doing most of the time, especially with a first chapter. Hahahahahhh.

Most of my chapters are long, I'm glad that you survived!

I'm not sure if you'll be able to look at Draco as a love interest for long but I'm curious to know what you think about him after chapter four. Hahahah. I hope to see you again!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #3, by navyfail Half and Half

16th July 2015:
Hello, it's ~chocolate from the forums here for the review swap! I'm a huge Drastoria shipper so I thought I would pick this story since the summary was so interesting. I love how mysterious you made the Greengrass family seem. I wonder what their secret is. And Astoria is the only halfblood? Is she adopted? I can see why she hates those pureblood society parties. They don't sound fun at all, especially since a lot of the people there look down at her for being halfblood.

I have to say you made Draco very cunning. If I was Astoria I would definitely be scared. He seems very determined to corner her and have his way. And I'm guessing Zabini likes her too? By the way he looks at her and Draco's comments it seems that way.

The game... I could see Slytherins playing that. And now Astoria has to go along with it. Hopefully she'll get her brother to save her or be able to hide from Draco. I have to say that Pansy's reaction to getting tickle was funny though. As was Millicent's.

You have a really interesting story here. I love Astoria already! She's seems strong-willed and smart as well as rebellious against the pureblood norm. I also like how you wrote Draco as almost ruthless. A lot of people write him way nicer than he actually was. Overall, this is a fantastic start to a story!

~Sama

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for the awesome review, it's been a long time since anyone has read the first chapter for this. Hahaha. I tried to make this as interesting as I could without giving too much away and my sympathies are with you. This doesn't follow canon so you may want to toss aside your Drastoria feelings. >:)

The Greengrass family secret will be known around chapter five or six. I leave little hints throughout the story but you just have to read the clues. Astoria as well is a mystery and her half-blood status is something that you find out more about later on.

Pureblood parties sound awful and I wouldn't want to be there either! Draco has always been cunning in my mind, I can't think of him as a nice person so Astoria's distaste of him makes more sense to me. Zabini has other reasons to be interested in Astoria for the moment but i won't give it away.

That game...please don't ever play that horrible game. Hahahah. Things don't go as planned but you'd have to keep reading.

Tickling isn't fun for everyone!

Thanks for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #4, by EnigmaticEyes16 The Rift

14th July 2015:
Ughh, Gabbie this chapter was amazing! And look, I'm finally caught up! This means you need to update again soon, yes? lol.

Anyway, as always Blaistoria are the most adorable couple ever even with all of their issues. I loved all the joking and playful banter before Aradelle so rudely interrupted them. She is definitely starting to get on my nerves...

I hope Emily and Scorpius are okay after what happened when Astoria left. For Scorpius to turn on his father like that he must have been seriously angry and broken over everything that's happened, there really don't seem to be proper words to fully describe all the feelings.

But I do worry about how Maximus will respond to Blaise's message that Aradelle will surely tell him. I hope he doesn't get hurt for it. And I still do wonder if any of Maximus's men were listening to that fight between Malfoy and Astoria and what would happen if Maximus found out Draco Malfoy knows. I wonder what that would do to his plans, and I wonder exactly what his plan for Malfoy that he expects Astoria to carry out already is really about.

But the end of this definitely tore at my heartstrings when Blaise finally broke down and cried in front of Astoria and they finally declared to each other that they would never want to be without the other. Ugh, it's so emotional and heartwarming and I love them together.

I'm really curious about what's going to happen in the next chapter and I do hope you update soon.

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again with this review, it was amazing! I really do need to start updating again soon. I actually have the next chapter half way finished, it's just been that time hasn't been on my side lately. Hahahaha.

Bah, aren't Blastoria the best? I seriously can't get enough of them. They're a very cute couple and it is really upsetting that Aradelle showed up and ruined it. Hahaha.

Actually, you find out if Emily and Scorpious are all right in a few chapters but it won't be pretty. Scorpious must have lost his mind (Even more so) after Astoria left, which is probably why he attacked his father. The feels were nearly too much for me as well...

Ah, Maximus's response to Blaise's threat will not go the way you think. I've already got this entire story played out but it's not going to be a nice meeting between the two of them. There may have been men hiding around listening to Astoria's battle with Malfoy and that makes you wonder, doesn't it? Maximus may already know everything and that is not good thing. At all.

*Shudders*

I can't tell you what Astoria has to do in order to keep up her bargain with Maximus but I've been hinting at it for a while. You just have to look a little closer. Hehehehe.

Blaise has never cried in front of anyone, I think so that was a really emotional part of this chapter. The fact that all barriers were gone for just that moment says wonders about how much they love each other. That was the one good thing that came out of this. Hahahahha.

Thank you so much for the review, honey!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #5, by EnigmaticEyes16 Need

14th July 2015:
I forgot to review this chapter before moving on to the next, and they are so long I know I won't be able to even touch on everything. But I LOVE THIS STORY! In case you didn't know.

I'm glad that Ginny and Astoria and Blaise were able to come to a draw at the end, and I wonder what will come of this alliance in the future. Also, I'm very curious that Draco went back to his so-called friends who abandoned him and told them about Blaise and Astoria's return and I do wonder if this is one step in a ploy to get the Slytherins back on his side, by agreeing on a common enemy. I'm also very curious about what gossip will spread soon about Blaistoria (I'm just gonna call Blaise and Astoria that from now on...). Although I have to wonder, while I do understand why Draco may think ruining Astoria and taking away everything from her might make him her last resort, wouldn't being with the girl everyone hates and despises in the end bring him down a few notches as well? To end up with the same girl he ruined? Idk. I'm very curious to see how it all plays out.

And Blaistoria are so cute! At this point I have to wonder if anything really could break them apart, they are so devoted to each other. But we will see.

Great chapter, Gabbie!

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

Hahah, thanks for stopping b again and I'm so sorry that the chapters are so chunky. People are always fussing at me about that but it's a bad habit, I guess.

Ginny, Blaise and Astoria came to an uneasy truce. The three of them, including Luna and Neville will be together again at some point but I'm not sure if they'll ever be friends, really.

Draco is all about survival so he would have gone back to his old friends in order to make it through unscathed. He knows that their fragile friendship is gone but he ALSO knows that distracting them from what he intends to do (No pun intended, since I'm talking about Astoria) will benefit him in the end. I'm not sure if you noticed or not but Draco is actually kind of petty. If he starts a rumor about Blaise and Astoria, he's getting some measure of revenge as he watches the backlash from the sidelines.

What a child, right? Hahaha.

Oh, please call them Blastoria! I started that with my friend Cassie Potter ages ago and it just stuck. Anyway, the rumors about them won't be pretty but you'll just have to wait and see.

You know, Draco hasn't really thought this through much. He understands that being Astoria's last resort might give him what he wants but at the same time, he hasn't really thought about the consequences. I think that he assumes that his fragile influence will be able to get him through but it's not going to be that easy. Also, he would love to be with Astoria as a constant reminder that, "Yes, I was the one that brought you to this point. There's nowhere else to go and I'll never let you forget it." Yes, the boy is THAT vindictive.

Blastoria forever! \m/

Thanks again!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #6, by EnigmaticEyes16 Monster

8th July 2015:
This was definitely a surprising ending to this chapter. I did not see that coming. But I'm glad that Ginny, Neville, and Luna went out of their way to help two Slytherins despite all the hate between Slytherin and Gryffindor. And Malfoy knows Astoria and Blaise are engaged! I wonder what he'll do next! I'm very curious to see how this plays out! Great chapter, Gabbie!

xxNix

Author's Response: HEllO!

I'm glad that you liked the ending! I was trying to do something different and it worked really well. I had never written Ginny, Neville or Luna before so it wasn't as easy as I thought. I was worried that they would be kind of bland but the chapter wouldn't have worked without them.

Malfoy doesn't know what he's gotten into but you'll just have to wait and see what happens. Hehehehe.

Thanks for the review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #7, by EnigmaticEyes16 Turmoil

5th July 2015:
Ugh, Draco. I can't handle it.

He's so evil and yet just ever so slightly caring that I just can't write him off. Although, to be honest, I thought he was pretty tame in this compared to his other encounters with Astoria, in this story and in the corresponding one-shots.

And I forgot that he saw everything at the shack in Knockturn Alley! And he has an idea of what her father does! But her father still has people in Hogwarts. People who could overhear this conversation!

I don't know what to think. And I have no idea what Astoria will do with this decision he's given her. She of course doesn't want her family to die, and she especially doesn't want anything to happen to Blaise now that he's associated with the family. Although I wonder how Draco will react when he finds out Astoria and Blaise are engaged... that probably won't be pretty.

I'M SO CURIOUS ABOUT EVERYTHING! THIS STORY IS JUST TOO AMAZING!

I love it.

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by again, I was missing your reviews!

Ah, Draco. I thought that after you guys hadn't seen him in a while that introducing him again would be so much fun. He's crazier than you thought, right? Hahahaha.

There's this little bit of humanity in Draco that makes him hard to completely hate and I wrote him that way on purpose. I didn't want him to be just some one-sided villain but there's more to him than what you would expect at first glance. Hahaha, Draco is far from tame but I see that you read the chapter after this and know that he's wilder than you could have anticipated.

Draco saw everything that day in Knockturn Alley and you know what that means for Astoria and her family. It's scary to know that! Draco will not react well when he learns that Astoria and Blaise are engaged but the mind games are just beginning.

Hehehehe.

Thanks so much!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #8, by EnigmaticEyes16 Secrets

5th July 2015:
OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL, GABBIE!?

*takes a deep breath*

Okay. It was really sad seeing Astoria argue with her family over Blaise again. And having to say goodbye to them when they are so upset with her and don't understand. I am glad Emily finally gave in at the end and promised to always be there for Astoria when she could. But Scorpius... Astoria clearly still holds him very near and dear to her heart and it must have broken it to see him refuse to even look at her. And then at the end, when he couldn't hide the tears any longer. I hope they patch things up eventually. I think he got the worst of the punishment when she ran away because now he's been unable to see his muggle girlfriend who he wanted to marry when the time was right. But Astoria is clearly deeply in love with Blaise and nothing they do or say can alter that.

And Blaise is so freaking cute! I love the two of them together and I was really hoping for that to continue on...

But then of course, Astoria probably wasn't feeling paranoid for nothing, because then, boom, Draco Malfoy comes out of the shadows!

AND I LOVE DRACO! BUT STILL! I TOTALLY SHIP BLASTORIA!

I'm gonna read on now to find out just what Draco does next. Because even though I'm currently mad at him, I've missed him and his twistedness for quite some time now...

xxNix

P.S. I'm also getting more and more curious about exactly what Astoria's origins were and where she came from and why she thinks anyone who knew would be disgusted by these facts...

Author's Response: Hello!

Hahahaha, I'm sorry! I had a lot of trouble writing the scene with Astoria and her family in this chapter. I knew that they were all at their boiling point and it was difficult to get their emotions right. They're never going to understand why she chose Blaise over them, which is actually the sad part of this entire thing. Emily may have warmed up a bit but Scorpious will never forgive Astoria for leaving them, he may never even forgive himself for what he did to her.

Oh, the tears...Scorpious crying pretty much solidified everything that was destroyed about his relationship with Astoria. It hurt to write but Astoria loves Blaise more than she loves being in a cage, which might make the two of them reconciling impossible.

Blaise is adorable! I love writing him, he makes everything better. Hahaha.

I think Astoria jinxed herself, she's Draco's preferred prey and kind of learned her lesson about being so unguarded. Hahaha.

BLASTORIA FOR LIFE!

Hope to see you around soon!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #9, by EnigmaticEyes16 Sibling

18th June 2015:
Ahh! I am back and I am very curious as to what will happen next! I can't believe Maximus is allowing them to marry! But I have to wonder if those rings he gave Astoria and Blaise have a downside to them. And of course the promise she made to protect Blaise still stands but what is it she has to do? And it does involve Draco!!?? I knew it! I'm super excited to see him again! I can't wait to read on and find out what happens once they are back at Hogwarts!

Great chapter, Gabbie!

xxNix

Author's Response: HellO!

Thanks for stopping by again, I certainly wasn't expecting this review! Maximus certainly has his reasons for letting Astoria and Blaise marry. He's got it all sorted out in his mind on what he wants from them and yes, there is something about the rings. Please pay careful attention to them as the story goes on, they actually play a role in what might happen to Blaise and Astoria. Heheheh.

I don't necessarily say what Astoria needs to do in order to live up to her end of the bargain but you'll figure it out soon. It involves Draco in the worst possible way but I'm keeping my lips sealed!

You'll be seeing Draco again and not in the way you think! ;)

Thanks so much!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #10, by CassiePotter The Rift

7th May 2015:
Hi Gabbie! I'm FINALLY caught up on this story! It's taken me ages, but I did it!
I'm not even sure what to think after reading this chapter!!! So much happened and it was so packed with emotions!
As always, Astoria's family is terrifying. Particularly her father. I'm honestly really worried about how far he's willing to go to get what he wants. I really hope no one ends up dead because of him. But if that did happen, I really don't know how surprised I would be... He did hurt his own children, and kill his son, after all. I was also surprised about how nasty Aradelle got! It made me really sad to read that, because she would only have gotten that way after years of living with the Greengrass family.
I feel so bad for Astoria! She's terrified of her father, has no idea what Malfoy might do to get to her, and can't see any way out of the situation. I really hope that she's able to get away from her father and get Malfoy to stop stalking her... Maybe Ginny, Neville, and Luna can help keep Malfoy away? I'd like to see them help Astoria again.
As always, Blaise is fascinating. His emotional range in this chapter alone was incredibly written. It's obvious how much he loves Astoria (YAY!) but I have a feeling that that love is going to get him into trouble. If anything happens to her, he's either going to get hurt protecting her or do something stupid out of anger... Either way, things wouldn't end well for him!
He was really scary when he got angry! When he was yelling at Aradelle and grabbed her arm, I really thought he was going to hurt her!
The kiss at the end of the chapter was a really nice way to wrap things up. Everything has been so intense and angsty, and Astoria and Blaise just being together, knowing that they have each other to hold onto, helped relieve that a tiny bit. Hopefully they at least get a moment of calm before things get really crazy!
This was an amazing chapter, and I can't wait to see what happens next! Now I want to work on getting caught up on your other stories!
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

I'm so sorry that I haven't had the time to really answer your reviews but here I am! Hahaha.

Thanks so much for coming back and you have no idea how long it took me to write this. I almost didn't survive. Hahaha. I think that the Greengrass family will prove to be more terrifying as this story goes on and because Maximus controls everything, he can affect Astoria no matter where she is. He hurt his children and killed Leo but there's so much mystery here that you can't understand when it might end.

I feel bad for Astoria as well. There's so much stacked against her and you're not sure what might happen. I think that I like writing her in this situation though because it forces her to be more emotionally diverse and to stay strong. She can't do it alone, however. This is what this chapter was about though.

You'll see Luna, Ginny and Neville again!

I have never written Blaise like this before and I'm so glad that it was able to really show another side of him. He's not the sort of person that breaks down like this and so it took a long time for me to get this just right and I'm so happy with how it ended. He may have to reign in his temper and his love for Astoria if he wishes to stay alive but he has put himself in danger.

I'm going to try and get more fluff into this story to balance out the angst. Things will get crazy but I don't want to wear you guys down with it! Hahhaa.

Thank you so much, dear!

Gabbie


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Review #11, by CassiePotter Need

17th February 2015:
So I don't even know where to start with this chapter. So much just happened and I'm feeling so many feelings right now! AH.
I thought Draco's interactions with his former friends was fascinating, but his little conversation with Pansy was definitely my favorite part of that scene. Throughout it all you can see him trying, and failing, to hang onto this image of being cool and collected and above everyone. He can't boss them around anymore and they all know it. I think the fact that he's trying to use information to keep some kind of status among them is really interesting, and I can't wait to see how the relationships among that group progress. Like I said before, his conversation with Pansy was wonderfully written. She's able to touch a part of him that he doesn't want to think about, because that part knows that Pansy is right, and that he's going to do a lot of damage that can't be undone if he keeps doing crazy things to get to Astoria.
Then we go back to our trio of rescuers! You wrote them fabulously! Luna, in particular. You really managed to capture the wisdoms that she has because she's so honest in the way she interacts with people. I definitely got the childlike sense of wonder that JKR gives her in the way you write her! I hope she, Ginny, and Neville come back into the story. They added this wonderful spark to things, because they're all so different from one another and from Blaise and Astoria. It's really cool getting to see how Astoria reacts to them, as well.
AND THEN THE END HAPPENED AND MY HEART MELTED. Blaise is so, so in love with Astoria. I just know it. And I know she's worried that he doesn't love her as much as she loves him but he just has to! He's so good to her, and he wouldn't be that protective if he didn't really love her. Also when he called her darling I squeeled a little bit inside. It was such a perfect little moment.
I can't wait for more of this! I know it took me AGES to read this chapter but I'm sticking with this story until the end. It's one of my favorites, both of your work and on the site as a whole, and I just want to know what's going to happen!!! On my end, there's a new chapter of The Fourth Daughter up and I have a new Hannah Abbott one-shot up, too! Incredible writing, as usual, Gabbie! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HELLO!

I really liked writing the scene with Draco and his former friends. It was something that was gnawing at the back of my mind and I'm glad that I finally had the time to write it in this chapter. Slytherins are always about power play, aren't they? Draco is trying so hard to portray that he's a confident guy but in the end, he's a mastermind at scheming. I have some things planned for his relationships with his friends but I won't spoil them here. ;)

Pansy sees into a part of Draco that he would rather ignore. You would think that they would be a better pair but he's far too gone with madness for Astoria. It will not end well for him.

I really LOVE Luna. I was nervous about writing Neville, Luna and Ginny because I was unsure if it would be written well. I was happy that you enjoyed them and we do see them again sometime later. I'll put Astoria and Blaise in more situations like this in the future, they're such a mysterious pair and it's fun seeing them around other people.

Blaise is in love with Astoria, he just won't admit it to himself. I'll hint at that later on though and he can call ME darling anytime he likes! :3

Thanks so much, dear!

Gabbie


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Review #12, by EnigmaticEyes16 Denial

29th January 2015:
This is quite possibly the longest chapter I have ever read. And so very, very intense.

I'm surprised Blaise is even still alive after all that fighting! And now he's asking for Astoria's hand in marriage! What!? I can't believe I waited so long to come back to this. This is the best, most intense story I've ever read. I can't wait to find out what happens next. Will Astoria say yes? And if so, what will happen in her and Blaise's private meetings with her father. And what happens if she says no?

Plus, this sentence right here: “my intentions to have an intention with the intention of marrying your daughter aren't a lie, as you can see.”

Part of me loves it when he talks like this, and the other part is wondering what the heck I just read because it still doesn't make sense to me.

And when will we see Draco again? I've been missing his character, is that weird? Probably.

Great chapter!

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

I am so sorry that this chapter is so long and that I'm just now responding to your review but I've been so busy. It's so annoying! Blaise is asking for Astoria's hand in marriage indeed! He's quite the shocker, isn't he? The meeting with Maximus won't go well but I don't want to spoil the twist for you! Hehehehe.

Also, Blaise makes absolutely no sense at all so it would be wise not to think too much on when he talks so strange. Hahahaha.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #13, by CassiePotter Monster

15th December 2014:
GABBIE OH MY GOODNESS THIS CHAPTER.
I forgot how intense things were for Astoria and I was so nervous for her throughout this entire chapter. Once I started reading I could look away because I just had to know what was going to happen next!
I honestly was really surprised at how far Malfoy is willing to go to get what he wants! I thought that he would back off a little or just keep making empty threats but seeing how much he terrifies Astoria really makes me anxious for her. I'm really worried that Malfoy is going to do something horrible to her or Blaise!
I was really surprised to see Ginny, Neville, and Luna at the end of the chapter but I loved it! You wrote all three of them so well, and now I'm really hoping you bring them back into the story! Maybe they can help Astoria and Blaise run away together so they can get married and ride off into the sunset to live happily every after? I hope so, but I have a feeling that's not what's going to happen.
I'm SO happy Blaise is ok, considering everything that's happened! I was so worried about him! He's just so sweet to Astoria and I love the way you write him so much! He's definitely my favorite character in this story.
This was a fantastic chapter and I'm so glad that I have time to get back into your stories! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

I am SO sorry that I'm late with your reviews, I haven't been able to get on lately and my life has been a mess. Hahah.

Things are really intense for Astoria at the moment and because Malfoy is stalking her, I think that she's going to be out of luck for a while. I had a hard time writing this chapter in particular but I'm glad that you were able to enjoy all of the characters that I introduced. I'd never written Luna, Ginny or Neville before and I was so afraid of how they turned out. But apparently they're all right!!!

Blaise is going to be all right but I think that you might have to watch his temper in the future. Hahahha.


Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #14, by EnigmaticEyes16 Bargains

29th October 2014:
Hey! This is a very interesting chapter, seeing Astoria with her father in his office for the first time. Like it's a strange initiation to her family's business. He's decided to spare her life but now she has to play by his rules.

It's very intriguing the dynamic between the two, how she is mostly able to keep her cool in her father's presence, and even wants to raise her upper lip in a sneer at him, the way she would with other purebloods.

I also like how you include the portraits of her father's siblings and how they are sort of a lesson as to not let the business make you go mad, as it did for his brother and, possibly, sister. I wonder if they are all really dead (kind of assuming they must be, but I don't know) or just no longer apart of the family business, and I wonder if the older brother wanted to turn away from it when he wanted to change things.

I'm very curious to know what her father asks of her, and what it will mean for Blaise as well. I wonder if he'll ask her to get close to Draco again in order to get back into the Malfoys' good favor.

I love how Blaise enters at the end, making jokes and acting as if nothing has happened. I think him and Astoria are so cute together and I wonder what he means when he says he'll make her a part of his life when she's basically promised hers away in order to keep him alive.

I really want to read on to find out what happens, but this may be the last you hear from me for a while because of NaNo, but I will be back!

xxNix

Author's Response: HELLO!

I'm sorry that I'm just now getting back to you with this response! ;_;

There are a lot of things about Astoria that I love and one of them is her defiance. She hates her father and isn't afraid to show it sometimes but at this moment, that might have gotten her killed. I tried to play this out where no one really has the upper hand and I just enjoyed writing the two of them here, warring against one another to gain the upper hand.

The Greengrass family has a lot of secrets and what happened to Maximus's siblings is one that will be revealed in time. Leo had his own thoughts about breaking away from the life he was given and yes, it did have horrible consequences. We learn more about him later though.

Ah, Blaise. He's the life blood of this movie and I adore him! He makes no sense sometimes but you really need him in your life. Hahaha.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #15, by EnigmaticEyes16 Sacrifices

25th October 2014:
Hi! Sorry I've been terrible at reviewing, I've been so wrapped up in reading the story and there's so much to comment on in every chapter, but I'm going to start trying again. So, commence this very long review.

This was a really sad chapter. Astoria's guilt is clearly evident as she feels responsible for Blaise's injuries (although why he went without his wand is completely unknown to me and just blows my mind. I wonder if and where they will find it.). And she says she never knew things would turn out this way, but then she admits (to herself) that she had known. But of course she knew. That's why she wanted to leave the Zabini Estate the second Blaise was willing to let her in, and she kept trying to convince him that he was in danger but he wouldn't have any of it. And clearly he made her feel safe and gave her hope that her family wouldn't find them. And even though they've only really known each other for a few days, and she might not even admit it to herself, I think she's already fallen in love with Blaise, and it really shows in this chapter.

I love, LOVE the part when Blaise wakes up and tells her he wouldn't mind hearing her continue to confess her undying love for him. It's a relief to know he's okay enough to be cocky and make fun, but the same time they're so cute together. I practically squealed when he got her to come close enough and he kissed her.

I'm very anxious to know exactly what Astoria is to her family. The way her mother calls her their gift is very strange. It almost seems like she was brought to replace Leo in a way, and maybe not even share any blood with the Greengrasses at all. Although, I wonder if Leo was also a halfblood. It seems like whatever he did to get killed must have been very serious, especially if their own father is the one who killed him. I mean, to kill his first son seems like a very drastic measure.

Now, onto Draco's bit of the chapter. I think it's interesting how happy he is. Even though his friends had shunned him on arrival, he's so happy because he thinks he has Astoria right where he wants her, except he has yet to notice that she's not even on the train. Or maybe he expects her not to be on the train after what happened the day before.

I do like how your Draco doesn't seem to be very fond of the Dark Lord and his Aunt Bellatrix, afraid one of them may off his family if they make a mistake. And you can tell he cares for his mother, telling her to stay strong, and wishing he could just take her and run away.

I find it intriguing though that Draco is finally starting to figure out Astoria's secrets and instead of being scared of what they could do to him, he only wants to know more about her and her family. And I think he may even see her in a higher respect knowing they both deal with the same kind of violence and madness on a regular basis. It seems like he may be finally seeing her as his equal. But at the same time he still thinks he owns her. I wonder how it will all play out in the upcoming chapters and if/when Astoria will return to Hogwarts...

Guess I'll just have to keep reading to find out. Anyway, great chapter!

xxNix

Author's Response: HEllo

Astoria had a lot guilt about what happened to Blaise and although it had its consequences, she won't really give up her feelings for him either. She won't be able to say that she loves him just yet but you can tell that he means a lot to her. It's scary that she's back with her family after all this time and I didn't want you all to think that this was going to be an easy victory for her either. Hhaaha. I'm evil like that.

You find out more about what happened to Leo in later chapters and it was a pretty serious thing that got him killed. I don't want to reveal it too soon but I thought that having that little mystery hanging around Astoria only emphasized how trapped she was.

Blastoria for LIFE! They are so cute together!

I never got the sense that Draco liked what his father was doing. I think that he admired him for some reason and yet was afraid of what might become of them. He doesn't care for the Dark Lord and I think that he's just as afraid for his life as Astoria. It's weird that that's what draws him to her but it may have horrible consequences for them both if they're not careful.

Thanks for the review, sweetie!

Much love,

Gabbie




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Review #16, by TidalDragon Purebloods

18th October 2014:
Yes, I'm alive believe it or not (and finally here). Life's been insane recently with no sign of letting up through the end of the month. I'm sorry this is so late.

This chapter was quite dialogue-y, but I thought the way you handled it was largely good despite the imbalance. You did a nice job with the tags or accompanying thoughts/observations so that we were still able to get more out of the conversations than the words themselves.

I also think you're doing a good job with painting a picture of pureblood society within the context of your story rather than beating us over the head with it. The descriptions of settings and activities has really helped in that regard.

What did strike me as rather odd was the number of brazen death threats and the attitudes all the kids (Draco, Blaise, Pansy, Millicent, etc.) had toward each other. I definitely got the spoiled rich kids one-upping vibe, but at the same time, even if they're forced together by these events, you'd get the sense that there's more genuine friendship between them than the heavy almost omnidirectional disdain. Just a thought.

Author's Response: Hello!

Goodness, I'm so sorry that I'm just now answering this review. I've been ridiculously busy and I haven't had the time to really crack down and take care of some of these but here I am! Hahaha.

I didn't intend for the chapter to have so much conversation but I couldn't really avoid it. Haha. I was still setting up the world and all that jazz but thanks so much for saying you were able to follow it. I certainly wasn't able to. Hahahaha.

Okay, Draco and his friends have a relationship that's based more off of convenience than anything else. They know where they stand but they don't exactly like one another, they're always going to attack the weakest of the bunch. It didn't really come off the way I wanted but that was the gist, I guess. Hahaha.

Thanks so much for the review! I'll have to stuff some requests in your thread whenever you're not busy!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #17, by Penelope Inkwell A Force of Wills

27th September 2014:
Oh, Brava, Gabbie! This is the best chapter I’ve read from you yet. I was constantly engaged, just waiting to see what could happen next. The writing was tighter--orderly, great flow.

You just did such a good job on this chapter.

Now I need to gush about the things I enjoyed.

"Mrs. Malfoy having abandoned her quite some time ago to scrape up her ego.”--I love the image you create with this quote

And, oh, Scorpious inviting her to live with him and his girlfriend was so sweet! I know you’ve mentioned that their relationship will have some ups and downs, but right now I love the interactions between the siblings. I love how he knows that, more than anything, she just wants to escape.

I do have this weird, bad feeling for Diana, though. I’m quite worried that she isn’t going to make it.

I found another twin brain wave! Muggle novels! If things stay the same as they are in my drafts, my Astoria has reason to be interested in them, as well.

“They both knew that their father’s business would never be over so long as he was filled with so much hatred.”--this intrigues me. I wonder what her father’s backstory is. Is there a reason behind his vendetta? Have the Greengrasses always been part of the magical mafia, or did her father choose this business, and why?

Ha! When Draco threatens to cut off her fingers and Astoria responds, “You don’t have the guts or the stomach for it, Malfoy. It’s a dirty business.” Brilliant! I just love her so much more, in that moment. I love how, even though she feels so endangered, she never backs down.

“I heard that he’s going to go back to Hogwarts to teach as Potions teacher. And there was something about a girl—”
--Now that’s interesting. But I thought Blaise was still underage? How is he old enough to have a teaching position? It would be interesting to see what Blaise could do at Hogwarts in a position of relative power. If he is planning to work there, I imagine there’s an important reason behind it.

-"'I like you,' Zabini said after a while. 'You’re not nearly as stupid as I thought you were. Good for you.’

-'Thanks, I live for your opinion.' Astoria said dryly."

--Bahaha, I already really like them together!

-“Zabini continuing to make mocking faces until she actually laughed. 'Would you stop doing that? We’re supposed to be hiding!’

-‘Sorry.’”

--That is adorable.

"Astoria said as she distractedly stared at his face, wondering how he was able to stretch and pull at it so easily.”
--I really loved this quote, because I feel like it gives us some interesting insight into Astoria. So, she feels like she always has to keep her face expressionless, and is intrigued by someone who shows so much emotion? That’s such a great detail!


CC:

There are still some run on sentences, or long sentences in need of some extra punctuation.
And, if a character is speaking, unless their words are incorporated in the surrounding sentence, then the quote should start a new sentence.

Eg.) Rather than, Worry lines sketched their way onto Albus’ brow, “I don’t know,” he hedged. it would be, Worry lines sketched their way onto Albus’ brow. “I don’t know,” he hedged.

Or, with a more complicated sentence from the story:

Astoria heard snippets here and there but could not imagine her sister seducing Malfoy, it sickened her to no end, “Be careful, Emily.” Astoria said tightly.

It would be more correct to write:

Astoria heard snippets here and there, but could not imagine her sister seducing Malfoy. It sickened her to no end. “Be careful Emily,” Astoria said tightly.

* I think you could also put a semi-colon between “Malfoy” and “it” if you’d like it to remain one sentence.

That’s just little grammar stuff, but it can help the flow of the story.

--

Overall, I was just really impressed by this chapter. It’s definitely my favorite so far. The way Draco’s demanding nature is juxtaposed against Blaise’s good humor and gentlemanly conduct was excellent. I really felt like I got a stronger grasp on the central characters--what they are really like beneath their masks. Astoria had some one-liners that made me laugh out loud. I just want to applaud her. I love how you make her both brave and vulnerable. It’s very well done.

Thanks so much for the swap, for being my official 100th reviewer for TH (eep!), and for the great reading material.

--Penny

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by with this awesome review, evil twin. I think that we're pretty even when it comes to chapters right now! Hahahhaa.

This was actually my favorite chapter to write but no a real favorite for some of my other readers. I was actually more engaged in this chapter than the others and it just keeps on rolling from here. What I liked the most about this was that there was a good power play going on, you weren't sure what was going to happen next.

Scorpious inviting Astoria to live with him and Diana was just really sweet. It was also kind of sad at the time because we all know that things never go smoothly. You should have a bad feeling about Diana and although I don't mention her much, things don't work out well for her. Hahahah.sorry.

Muggle novels! Whoo!

You get more details about the family business in chapter six. You might be left with more questions but Astoria's father wasn't the one who started it, it was her grandfather. I won't spoil it for you though so you'd just have to keep on reading to find out! :D

Oh, that part with Astoria destroying Malfoy about the fingers. Hahahaah. It was one of my favorite lines. My girl has a sharp mouth, she keeps bouncing back no matter what they do to her.

Okay, that thing about Blaise becoming Potions master was a mistake on my part. I should have elaborated more on that but what I meant was that he was going to try for the position after he had graduated. It would be a good position for him too but for someone who doesn't like children, I feel sorry for his students already...

Hahaha, yes, the face pulling was something that Astoria found fascinating. She can't reveal very much about herself but it was also something that would add a bit of humor to these two. And aren't they just the cutest?!

Oh, the CC's...they make me weep. Hahha.

Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews, this story has gotten a bit of a bump lately and I couldn't be more grateful. I usually only got one review until now! :D

And you're welcome for the 100th review as well! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #18, by GingeredTea Traitors

27th September 2014:
Okay, I'm back for another!

I'm getting curiouser and curiouser about Astoria's father. What, exactly is his 'business'? It's all sort of sounding mobbish to me...

Yup, definitely want to know what Astoria's other 'half' is.

That was a surprise with Zabini.Astoria's reaction was not surprising at all, however (obviously, I'm smarter and more perceptive than you, Draco Malfoy!)

And oh, Draco looks as though he has something terrible planned. He reminds me a bit of petulant toddler.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks again for stopping by! I drop hints about what Astoria's father does and you'll get your answers by chapter six. It's a complicated business that they're in and he's very, ah, demanding. How is it that you're the only one who has guessed the true nature of what they do? Hahahaha. "Mobbish" is exactly right.

Astoria is half demon! That would actually be awesome but nah, she's not.

Blaise is a whole big box of surprises and that's why I love him. Astoria is fascinated by him and well, poor Draco is going to have to get over himself. HAHAHA.

Draco has something planned but nothing works out he way he thinks. Hahahaha. And yes, he's a major brat.


Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #19, by GingeredTea Purebloods

27th September 2014:
You have me interested. I have a suspicion that Astoria is not as sullied as they believe? Perhaps her father is someone worthwhile? Or are all the children actually 'breeds'? Ugh - lots of possibilities. Something is important about her though.

As you can see, I made it pretty far in before I came up for air! Sorry about the delay with reviews - my schedule just doesn't seem to be evening out for me recently and it can be hard to predict when I'll have time to review. I always get back to them, though. :)

"“Emily, what have we always been taught?” Scorpious asked hotly. Astoria said it for her sister. “Never trust a pureblood.”"

Interesting. There is something 'off' about this family, I think. Is the father a spy??

Blaise seems interesting, but maybe he lost interest?

There are lots and lots of questions.

The flow of this chapter was excellent. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back! Hahaha, Astoria's father is not to be trusted and there's nothing worthwile about him, trust me. If you keep reading, you'll see what I mean but until now, keep guessing. Astoria has a secret but I won't reveal it for a long time and no, her other two siblings are purebloods.

Curious, yes?

It's perfectly all right with how late your reviews are. I'm usually late on everything I do so I'm all good.

There are a lot of things wrong with this family, they're all a bit touched in the head. Hahahahhaha.

Blaise hasn't completely lost hope in Astoria but you'll have to keep reading. Hahaha.

So many questions, not enough answers. I know I'm evil. Hahahaha.

Thanks so much, dear!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #20, by TidalDragon Half and Half

25th September 2014:
Well, I've finally made it! You probably thought I forgot about you, right? But I didn't. Just had a rather nightmarish load of work recently.

Anyway, it's really interesting to see how much your writing has evolved over time. You're so much stronger with description, word choice, and characterization now than in this piece! Still, there were ghosts of those here, especially in the beginning that I enjoyed. The attire and Greengrass family relationships were fine examples.

There were two things I found most interesting overall: (1) your main character is once again a marginalized figure, even in the circles they travel in - this seems to be theme for you and it's intriguing (I'd love to know the whys, and here particularly the mechanics of Astoria's half-blood heritage) and (2) you had an incredibly consistent pattern of not exceeding 3 lines per paragraph in this story (was there a rationale? At times it felt deliberate, to sharpen Astoria's negativity and criticisms, but other times it made things a bit unnecessarily choppy.

I'll be back for the next chapter soon as penance for being late.

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey, there! It's good to see that you have returned from the struggles of Real Life! I welcome you back with kittens and lots and lots of chocolate. :D

This was my third (Not quite sure but I'm going to have to check) fanfic and I was still trying to get into the groove of things. I'm glad that you're able to see how much my writing has evolved though, this story itself has changed a lot since this first chapter. It's up to about...24 chapters at the moment so if you kept reading, I hope you'll be able to see how my writing has improved. I've been working on this for almost two years now, can't you believe that? Hahahhaa.

There's a lot of mystery around Astoria in particular and you might not expect some of them. Her half-blood status of course is the main thing that everyone wants an answer to but I think that the truth will surprise you and won't be what you think, at least I hope it won't be.

Ah, some of the paragraphs were like that on purpose and others were just me trying to get through this monster in one piece. It's a bit choppy in places where I was trying to get the kinks out but I smoothed over a lot of those problems in later chapters. :D

Hahahah, I hope to see you again soon with a review for the next chapter. I might have you reading this one for a while until I get Transparent back up there, I'll stop by and request again soon.

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #21, by EnigmaticEyes16 A Force of Wills

23rd September 2014:
This story is getting VERY interesting. I was very intrigued by Astoria's little chat with Blaise in the pantry. He doesn't really seem like a terrible guy and it was nice to see him come out of his quiet shell a bit. I can't wait to see more of Astoria's interactions with him, because looking at the titles of upcoming chapters, I can see that there is definitely going to be more. And I'm also very curious to see what Draco does next. I wonder if we will see him again before they go off to Hogwarts.

But that is it for today, I need some sleep. These are some very long chapters you write, but I have to say, it never gets dull.

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again with this lovely review. I'm glad that a lot of people have come to this story and I hope we continue to chat, I still owe you a review and I'll get to it right after this!

Blaise isn't nearly as terrible as Draco is and might actually be a decent guy. Hahaha. I wrote him as a bit more reserved and the conversation that he has with Astoria in the pantry only shows the first real signs of his character.

Oh, there's going to be more interactions between Blaise and Astoria. Hahaha. The story goes into a way different direction after chapter six so you're just going to have to wait and see. Draco does show up again but just not in the way you expect.

Hahah, go to sleep! I have long chapters and I'd rather not have you guys passing out when you need rest. Hahahah.

Thanks a lot!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #22, by EnigmaticEyes16 Purebloods

22nd September 2014:
Jeez, that was intense. I was reading the second half of this to the end, practically on the edge of my seat, my little ipod touch less than a foot away from my face, mentally going "ah!" the entire time. And the game hasn't even started yet! Or has it? Hmmm.

Okay, a lot happened in this chapter. I think I like and I don't like Draco. I'm legit torn on my feelings for him in this story. He's kind of a total jerk. Especially when she's fainted and he still wants to have his way with her, and at the same time keeps telling Blaise to just dump her somewhere. But I was glad that Blaise was gentlemanly enough to catch her before she fell and lay her down gently, and that he protected her from Draco and the other guys until her siblings came in.

I'm also glad we got to see that there's a little more to Emily in this chapter. She cares for her sister, but she seems to smooze her way through things, purposely involving herself with men she's trying to get information out of. I'm very intrigued by their "family business" and very curious as to what exactly their father's goal is here since they seem to all hate purebloods so much. And I'm very curious about the threats Astoria has on Malfoy... although I don't know why he would want her to be his, and want to ruin her at the same time... is that so she has to turn to him for help? Maybe? He's seems to have a pretty twisted view of things...

I am going to have to read on some more because I'm very curious to know what's happening and this story has totally ensnared me. It's very well written, too, my only issue is there are so many commas around the dialogue where there should probably be periods and it can be slightly confusing figuring out who's speaking at times. But other than that, I'm loving this story.

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by, I'm glad that you've enjoyed the story so far. Bwhahaha, I hope you didn't hurt your iPod touch by having it that close to your face though, I've learned my lesson with technology. Hahhah.

Anyhoo, Draco is a complete and utter sleaze in this story and a lot of people pretty much give up on him right about now. I wrote him that way on purpose and its really sad that the only thing on his mind is when he can have Astoria for his own. Blaise is more old fashioned than the others and he wouldn't have let anything happen to Astoria, he's actually human.

Ah, yes. Emily has a bit more depth to her than what you might have seen in the first chapter and while she's not particularly a favorite, I'm glad that people understood that she does love her sister. Being with various men for information is all a part of the business their family is involved in and you'll find out more about that later.

Astoria's father has information on everyone so of course, she knows more about the Malfoy family than Draco does. Hahaha. Draco has an intense lust for Astoria, it really can't be explained very well so I hope you do stick around longer. :D

I'll have to go in and fix those mistakes, it's been a long time since I've actually took a step back and looked through each chapter. Thanks for telling me though!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #23, by EnigmaticEyes16 Half and Half

22nd September 2014:
Hi! I am here for our review swap! Sorry it took me so long, I got temporarily distracted but I did not forget.

Anyway, so far this seems very intriguing. I like Astoria a lot so far and her disdain for pureblood society, and just about everyone we've met so far, lol. Although i was a bit confused with her siblings, since I always see her and Daphne as sisters. But I'm intrigued by her brother being called Scorpious... But I do love that he has her back as her sister has yet to have a personality under her good daughter demeanor.

There's definitely something going on in Draco's mind about Astoria that I am dying for a glimpse of. I saw that you have two one-shots concerning this coupling and I may have to check those out, too.

This game so far is also very interesting and I think I'm just gonna have to read on to find out what happens during it. I did notice a few mistakes here and there, just some little typos and one or two weird word choices but nothing that couldn't easily be cleared up with a beta maybe.

So far though, this is really good. I think I'm definitely going to have to read on because I want to know what happens next.

Again, thanks for the review swap! I'm glad I got to read this story so far.

xxNix

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by and it's really all right that it took you a minute to get here. I always take too long with my own reviews and people have too much faith in my power to resist chocolate. Hahahha.

Astoria has a lot of issues with purebloods at the moment and I think that if you keep reading, you'll only see that it goes far beyond hatred. There's no Daphne Greengrass in this story, it's sort of an AU so don't worry about that. Hahaha. Ah, so many people are interested in Scorpious's name and well, it really isn't what you think.

Scorpious does love his sister though and he'd never let anything happen to her.

If you had wanted to know more about Draco's feelings towards Astoria, you could try out those one-shots. I'm going through an editing process for "Monsters in the Dark" though so if I update it and you seem a little confused, that's why. Hahhaah.

Thanks so much for stopping by with this lovely review!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #24, by Penelope Inkwell Traitors

20th September 2014:
Woah! Points to Blaise! (though, after spending so much time in my version of Astoria’s head, my first thought is still, “This is not wise!”)

I also like Emily a lot more, here. She’s gone back up in my estimation, being protective of her little sister like that. And her advice does not sound half bad...

“He was dating that broomwreck?”--I always enjoy seeing normal idioms translated into the wizarding world. Love it!

So the Greengrasses are, like, Personal Revenge Consultants? Who you can hire to ruin your enemies? That is fascinating! It’s also a nice twist, since I was assuming that Astoria had her own room because she was, like, a werewolf or a vampire or something, but this is more original and makes perfect sense.

So, the count so far is that our Astorias: (1) Both have issues with Pureblood society, (2) Both are well trained in digging up secrets, (3) Have a penchant for revenge, (4) Have connections to the Order of the Phoenix, and (4) Cannot get rid of Draco Malfoy. However, I still find our stories to be really different. It’s so interesting! Our evil twin mental connection is apparently quite strong. ; )

I have hope that Draco will improve, but right now he’s truly despicable, so I’m inclined to have to temporarily ship Astoria and Blaise. I’m still stuck on his very dramatic departure from the Death Eaters. What will that mean?! I’m certainly interested in finding out, so that was an excellent use of a plot twist. Bravo!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hey, there!

Thanks for coming back, you've been really awesome. Points to Blaise indeed but of course, it's going to backfire in some way and I'm glad that you're catching on to it.

Ah, Emily does grow on you after a while and she's very protective of Astoria. I don't think that her advice is going to work out in the way that she thinks though...

Bwhahah, "broomwreck" always makes me laugh.

Well...I would say that the Greengrass's are more like the mafia but you've given them a much more esteemed title. Hahahhaa. Astoria would make a good vampire and that idea is actually so AWESOME that I would totally write that! Too bad that I didn't think of it at all...

Our Astoria's continue to be so unique and so different! I'm really eager to get back to TH too, I want to know how your Astoria is doing.

Twin mental connection power!

I'm supposed to transform but it didn't work...

Anyway, Draco doesn't improve but I don't want you to give up on him just yet. You should ship Astoria/Blaise though, there's something happening there. Hahhaha.

You'll have to read the next chapter if you want to find out what happens though, I won't tell you! :D

Thanks for coming by!

Much love,

Gabbie


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Review #25, by GingeredTea Half and Half

20th September 2014:
I really liked the first line you chose for this story - setting up the mood of the main character right off the bat.

I pretty much suck at grammar, but I was a bit distracted by the lack of it some places. Like here:

The moment [or opportunity?] would spare her the agony of being near the horrid people that[who] were[would] (going to - cross out) be tainting her night later on[;] but[crossout] when no such hole appeared[,] or no unearthly creature offered her the salvation she craved, her heart sank.

You have a few paragraphs/ sentences that would work awesomely with a semi-colon.

I really like the thought-process you have exposed to the reader in this story and the flow just kept getting better and better as you went on. I was laughing somewhere toward the middle, which I usually don't.

The end was admittedly a bit creepy. The game was...well lets just say I share Astoria's opinion on it exactly.

All in all I really enjoyed this first chapter and would love to come back for another! Sorry this review took so long. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh, goodness. I thought that you had vanished on me and it's so good to see that you're back! This means that you can stuff as many requests for Devlin Potter in my review thread! I'm already excited! Go do that nyow! I have another slot open in my review thread! DO IT.

Anyhoo, thanks so much for stopping by, I didn't think that you would actually read/review after so long. I think my favorite part of this entire chapter is the fact that it starts off so dark and poor Astoria's thoughts of her pureblood counterparts only gets worse.

ARGH! I hate that part of this chapter, I am totally going to edit the mess out of that. I had been meaning to upload the edited chapter for this but I keep forgetting, I'd actually cleaned that little bit up a looong time ago.

Ah, dark humor. It is my friend! I'm glad that you were able to laugh though, I can't really write an angsty story without a few laughs.

The end is supposed to make you feel really creeped out. So many people have commented on that game and I can't blame them for wanting to whisk Astoria away. Hahahaha.

Come back anytime, it would be lovely to hear from you! :D

Much love,

Gabbie


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