Reading Reviews for The Five Step Plan
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm The Five Step Plan

19th January 2013:
Tag! I've never read a story from Ginny's POV so I was excited to read this, especially as I've always wondered how big a part Hermione played in getting Ginny and Harry together.

I really liked how you showed that they weren't the best of friends straight away but it was more of gradual thing. Though I did like you putting them in similar circumstances, I didn't think Harry/Cho was going on at the same as Ron/Lavender. I really liked the idea of the plan, as you can already sense the disaster about to happen! I also liked Ginny's thoughts and thought they were realistic! Good job! Kiana :)

Author's Response: I don't think that the whole Harry/Cho thing was going on at the same time as Ron/Lavender but for the sake of this story I decided to have them both take place during Ginny's 5th and Harry and co's 6th year. I think Ginny and Hermione have a bit of a different type of friendship because they aren't always near each other and they are in different years and such but I still feel that they are friends of a sort and maybe talk with each other about guys and the like. I'm glad that you thought her thoughts were realistic... Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #2, by academica The First Step

22nd February 2012:
Hey! Back again, for Slytherin Review Tag :)

I liked this chapter. It seems fitting for Ginny to try to get to Harry by using Quidditch to strike up a conversation with him. I thought you did a good job of keeping her in character, and Hermione, too, what with her being in the library and constantly working on homework. I also liked the fact that you included a bit of imagery in this chapter; it helped to draw me in a little bit and filled out the action of the chapter.

I did notice a lot of mistakes in this chapter. You've got several punctuation errors (for example, ending sentences with commas instead of question marks) and spelling errors (for example, using the wrong kind of 'your' and saying 'ruins' instead of 'runes'). I also noticed a few instances where your tense changed mid-paragraph (like from past to present). These are things that a beta can probably help iron out for you, and it sounds like you're already on that, so that's great.

Nice work! :)

Amanda

Author's Response: I'm so glad you feel that I'm doing a good job keeping her in character as this is my first attmept at having ginny as my main character. Hopefully a beta can help me fix all those small errors you pointed out! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #3, by Toujours Padfoot The First Step

21st February 2012:
Sounds like there's going to be some fun Quidditch scenes in the future! I only hope that Ginny won't go the damsel in distress route and pretend to need help with certain Quidditch-related things that she already knows how to do. She has a chance to impress him here and show him what she's made of, if he agrees to do extra practices with her. Sounds like a recipe for success! This was a fun chapter. I enjoyed it. :)

Author's Response: Yes there should be some quidditch scenes in the future which I'm really nervous about as I haven't attempted an actual scene about it yet. I can promise you that Ginny will not go the damsel in distress route! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #4, by Toujours Padfoot The Five Step Plan

21st February 2012:
Oh, I do like stories about rules people have to adhere to in order to win the object of their affections. It usually ends up blowing up in their faces, but it's a lot of fun to follow. Poor Ginny and Hermione. :( I was wondering, though, what year this was set in? I was thinking Harry's sixth year because of the Ron/Lavender, but by that time Harry wasn't interested in Cho any longer, as his relationship with her soured in OotP. I think so, at least - I could be wrong. ^ ^ Overall, an enjoyable beginning and it sounds like a fun read! This was a short chapter so I'll continue on to the next. :)

Author's Response: Yep you've got it right it usually does blow up in their faces ;) Honestly i dont have a set year but im thinking more toward harrys sixth but with him still dating cho. Im glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #5, by ariellem The Five Step Plan

21st February 2012:
Hello!

You have an interesting idea here although I would spend some time on character development, like maybe Lavender isn't that racy and Ginny has a life outside Harry. Your idea is very good though, I can't wait to see what's next. :)

Author's Response: In the coming chapters hopefully you will see Ginny without Harry! Im glad you enjoyed this. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #6, by magicmuggle01 The First Step

21st February 2012:
Once again a good chapter. I have a feeling that Harry isn't going to know what hits him when the plan goes into full swing. Awaiting your update, 10/10 and please update soon.

Author's Response: no he's not going to know what hits him thats for sure! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #7, by Ring_Felton97 The Five Step Plan

21st February 2012:
Slytherinchica!
Ou la la! I wonder what this five step plan consists of? I like the first person perspective that you used for Ginny and this plot seems very intriguing so far! I'm excited for the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: I tend to use first person when i write because i really enjoy getting into their heads, I'm glad you liked it! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #8, by PolyJuice_ The Five Step Plan

15th February 2012:
Hey there! Liz here with your review swap. :)
Phew. This is going to be long!
Lets get started with the little annoying, boring things first.

You seem to be lacking commas in some places,
~"At least not as girl much less one he would want to date."

Instead it should be,
~"At least not as girl, much less one he would want to date."

--

Some of the sentences sound a bit awkward and are too long. Such as,
~"I said exasperatedly to the brown haired Hermione sitting next to me at the dinner table as I stared at the boy of my affections, Harry Potter."

Try condensing it into something like this,
~"I said exasperatedly, turning to look at Hermione sitting next to me. I stared the dinner table at the boy of my affections, Harry Potter."

See? I've shortened it into 2 sentences by removing some less important tid bits.

--

Okay, this next one is kinda of nit picking here..
~"...but can you really sue me for wanting him?"

"Sue me" is an American thing, not British. Sorry haha.

--

This is another awkward sounding one, this time because you don't break the sentence.
~"The unfortunate thing about having six brothers is that I didn’t always remember my table manners and scarfed down my food in a manner that could probably compete with Ron."

Try something like this :)
~"The unfortunate thing about having six brothers is that I didn’t always remember my table manners. I scarfed down my food in a manner that could probably be compared with Ron."

--

~"...sure to do it real lady-like,"
This should be "really".

--

More comma issues :)
~"I told her, though I was skeptical that it would work."
Or use a period. There are a few more, though I can't really be bothered to find the rest right now. :P

--

~"I sunk down on the overstuffed red couch, trying to figure out why I agreed to this silly plan and how it would help me get Harry Potter, the chosen one."
Again, try and shorten it. Maybe something like this,

~"I sunk down on the overstuffed red couch, trying to figure out why I agreed to this silly plan. I had no idea how it would help me get Harry Potter, or 'The Chosen One' as he was titled nowadays."

--

This ending is rather stiff too, try something to add more flow,
~"I told her through my teeth as I forced a smile upon my face. Now there was no way out of this mess."

~"I told her, forcing a smile on my face. Now there was no way out of this mess."
Try not to use "through my teeth" and "As I forced a smile upon my face" together. Plus, "through my teeth" makes it seem as if Ginny is irritated at Hermione or something.

--

Overall, I liked it. The flow was a bit choppy in some places but the plot is very cute and I liked the characterisations of Ginny and Hermione. It's cannon so far, as we do know Ginny asked for help regarding Harry. I hope it will stay cannon too. :) The dialogue is good, but try to have more descriptions of the scene itself. I know a lot of writers have this issue but it is really very important. I hope we see more of Ron and Harry later on as we haven't yet found out much about them. Although if you are following cannon it's not really necessary.

--

I'd actually suggest finding a Beta reader for this, just to catch the little mistakes and to correct flow.
(I'd be willing actually, I have a bit of free time haha.)

--

Great job, please don't take anything here as negative, I do love it.

Author's Response: Alright well I've already talked to you about all the grammar and spelling errors so thank you so much for that. I'm glad you like the plot idea for it and the characterizatinos. I'm not sure how close to canon this will be so I can't tell you anything about that! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #9, by academica The Five Step Plan

7th February 2012:
Hey there! Here from Slytherin Review Tag :)

I thought this opening chapter was really cute. I like your characterization of Hermione and Ginny, and I especially liked how you contrasted Hermione's dainty behavior with Ginny burping like a boy would. I think they would have a really sweet friendship, and it seems just like Hermione to offer to help her friend out with a systematic plan.

Good job! :)

Amanda

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you enjoyed this chapter and that you liked my characterization of both Hermione and Ginny. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #10, by charlottetrips The Five Step Plan

1st February 2012:
Tag!

I’m already intrigued because I saw that you had a Blaise/Ginny pairing—something I’ve never seen. And the summary is certainly attention-grabbing! Makes me ask myself: “What are the five steps?” “What’s the third step?” “Why is Ginny going to Hermione for relationship advice?”

“At least not as [] girl much less one he would want to date.” – is there supposed to be an [a] there? Also in this first paragraph (sorry if it sounds like I’m picking on it but since it’s the first thing I saw, I just need to point it out—otherwise I think you’ll get it all down with a quick once over or a beta), anyway, in this first paragraph, after Ginny is finished talking, “or brother I should say[.]” I said exasperatedly - that period should be a comma.

Aw, look at this girl moment between Hermione and Ginny on their boy troubles. Of course Ron and Harry are so thick-headed…

Whorish Lavender! ♥

I like how you slipped in Ginny’s childhood with brothers into there. It’s true, she probably would have gross table manners, but I’m sure Mrs. Weasley would’ve snapped her out of it!

LOL, Hermione’s mom is the one with the five step plan!? Awesome.

Author's Response: Well i can't take credit for the summary as I was given it from manga girl but I'm really glad that you thought it was attention grabbing. I know that I still need to go through and fix some stuff grammar wise and hopefully I will be getting a beta for this story soon. I'm really glad you liked it! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #11, by Manga_girl The Five Step Plan

27th January 2012:
This is a great first chapter! I cannot wait for more as this is a great start; really engaging and interesting! I love how you wrote this as I thought it originally quite a hard one due to the characterisations and things but you pulled it off so well!

Emma xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this and for giving me this summary. I really like this plot that I have going for it and i'm glad that you feel i'm doing a good job with it! thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~slytherinchica08~


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Review #12, by the_edge_of_love The Five Step Plan

25th January 2012:
Oh, I did enjoy this a lot!

It was a very interesting chapter, but what I found even more interesting was the idea of the story! I always wanted to know how come and Ginny grew so close to Hermione! And I was always intrigued by what she told Harry at the end of HBP!

Also, I think you got the characterizations right! Both Ginny and Hermione are in character! I love the way you portray them and the fact that you chose to tell the story from Ginny's POV! Also, I liked how they talked to each other about Ron and Harry so freely!

Overall, this was a very promising beginning! I'll be keeping an eye for updates:D

Author's Response: Wow! thank you so much for this wonderful review! I'm so glad that you think I have their characterizations down as i've never tried writing in Ginny's Pov so this is really new to me. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #13, by magicmuggle01 The Five Step Plan

25th January 2012:
I am intrigued by this story. I also want to know this 5 step plan.
You do need to make one or to corrections, such as scarfed should be scoffed and at the beginning you need to add a between as and girl to make *at least as a girl much less one he'd want to date. Also abit more description would not go amiss such as more thinking about the feelings each of them have for the men of their dreams. The story I asked you to review gives a good example of thoughts.
Can I make a suggestion? Do your chapters on word, set your spell check to english uk (it should pick up most mistakes). Then copy and paste onto the HPFF site. Then save your chapter so you can make corrections and additions later and copy and paste again.
I am adding this to favs so I catch any updates. Great start and 9/10.

Author's Response: well since i have a deadline with this story being that its for a challenge I really dont havea whole lot of time to get stuff looked over and we have to wait until our first chapter is uploaded before requesting a beta which i'm thinking of doing at a later time. I do add more description later in chapters but i always like my first chapters pretty short so a person can get a feel for the chapter and my characters. i do write my stories in word and i'm not from the uk so i just write it as i know it from the us. My chapters are always saved as well as i keep everything i've written. I will go back through this story when i have a chance to fix the small errors such as missing the a between the two words. I'm glad you are interested in the story as i'm pretty excited about where its going. thank you for all the advice!

~Slytherinchica08~


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