Hey, I'm here from tag.
You've really got the whole feeling of nothingness in Azkaban perfectly; the depressing kind of apathy. You know what I mean. Something like that, anyway.
And the entire idea of memories and escape are used to great effect here - you should feel proud.
You've also done really well with mixing the good memories with the bad. Stuff like:
>The teasing from my jealous fan girls
although I don't ship Sirius/Dorcas at all, this was funny.
There are maybe a few typos here and maybe I'm not too sure about your tense changes when it's not in flashback - you might want to check that out - but overall this was great. Well done! Report Review
I. Am. Floored.
Wow, just wow.
After reading this, I can't seem to find the words to describe how I feel. I can only imagine what Sirius felt in Azkaban--but you, you did more than what I could imagine. It seems so right, it just fits! It perfectly fits!
And your analysis of Strawberry Feilds and the way you tied it into your story is remarkable! I would've never thought of it that way. Knowing me, I would've chosen a song too obvious to the situation.
At first I couldn't help but wonder why out of all songs you chose, you chose Strawberry Feilds, but now thinking about it, it makes sense. I honestly face palmed at myself, so I applaud you for your incorporation of the song.
(Oh and Brownie points as well, because I love the Beatles!)
I'm glad you didn't give up on it. It's such a beautiful piece, and I'm so happy that you were able to share it with us.Author's Response: Thank you so so much! :D
This is really is a lovely review and I'm so happy to see you enjoyed the story so much! I had to use the song for a challenge although I do really like to song too. I'm so happy to hear you like the analysis because the song I think is quite abstract so it was tricky to say the least.
Looking back now I'm happy I didn't either... I feel its one of the best things I've written and it means so so much to know you enjoyed it. Thanks again for the awesome review. :D Report Review
Hey there! Tagging back from the review thread.
I thought this was a very well-written story. You have a natural flow, jumping between flashbacks and the present easily and allowing the story to flow organically yet still keep us within Sirius' disturbed mind frame. There were a couple instances where his monologues were incongruent with his Wizard upbringing ("It was like those memories were on am and I was constantly on fm.") and you should watch out for little things like that because its easy to get lost in a monologue sometimes.
There were also other areas where you had a couple run-on sentences. For example...
"In fact she was one of the most talented duellers in our year at school, she can hex like no tomorrow."
There needs to be some sort of conjunction between the two independent clauses or else they just run-on. There were a few other spots where you could have used commas to avoid confusion (mainly for prepositional phrases), but they're just tiny things in the grand scheme of things.
I did like his eventual transformation, physically and mentally, at the end of the story where he realized he still had something to live for. The progression between his nightmares to his hope was done very well and I commend the writing in that area.
Good one-shot!Author's Response: Thank you so much! :D
Oh yeah, I forgot about that. That line in particular was actually a reference to one of the lyrics form Strawberry Fields Forever (''That is you can't you know tune in but it's all right'') but I get what your saying. I'll remember that for future reference. :)
Ahh yes, I've been meaning to edit this story for a while. Thanks for pointing that out!
I'm so glad you did. This story was definitely one of the most challenging that I've had to write so it means so much to me to hear such nice things about my writing.
Thanks again for the awesome review! :D Report Review
This is so beautfiul I love how confused he is until he becomes a dog. And i love the way memories flit to him, it's lovely. i love the way you write! it's lovely! I think this was an uplifting ending which i like, because sirius has had a tough life. I do love this lots! Author's Response: Thank you ! :D I'm really happy to hear you loved it and that you love the way I write. It means so so much. Thanks again for such a sweet review! :) Report Review
Wow. That's all I can pull together at the moment.
I have never really thought what life must've been like for Sirius in Azkaban - wallowing in the loss of his friends, but you've done a brilliant job with recreating all these scenes in a hauntingly powerful fashion.
Speaking of haunting (see what I did there :P), this is one of the finest horror/dark stories I have read - FanFiction or original, and it strikes that perfect balance between giving a detailed description of a scene and leaving enough to the reader's imagination so that their impression of the world is their own, something which is rare (most stories end up either missing details or not giving us enough to create a mental image).
I'll be honest, I've always seen Sirius as a player as far as he is presented, but his relationship with Cass seems believable, as she doesn't feel cliché like most of the other characters who date Sirius in other stories.
Overall, I loved this, well done, great characterisation and detailing!Author's Response: Oh my goodness! You're really complimenting me here. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
It means so much to me that you've enjoyed this. Honestly it was one of the hardest things I've ever written, I had multiple blocks while writing it.
I'm at a loss of how to reply to that. A couple of thousand more thank you's perhaps? Really it means so much to me to hear it particularly seeing as I usually write in the romance genre and doing a dark story was really out of my comfort zone. I really pushed myself on this so it's great to hear that all the hard work was worth it.
Oh, I'm so glad you like their relationship! Sometimes, characters just come to you so easily and I have a very clear idea of who Cass is in my head, so it's really nice to hear her relationship with Sirius seems believable. I hope that someday in the future, I'll be able to write another story on these two.
It means so much to me that you loved it and thank you so so much again for such an amazing review. It really made my day! :D Report Review
Very nice! I could definitely feel the tone of the song while reading this.Author's Response: Thank you so much ! I'm glad to hear it and I'm happy you liked it ! :D Report Review
Like I said before. Just WOW! you should really do more maurauder fanfics because your really good at them . :) Keep up the goodwork and give yourself a little break ;) XDAuthor's Response: I'm happy you like it ! :D Especially since if it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't have finished it ! !
Haha ! I'd like to ! But not right now. Yes I really need to get onto finishing writing Chp 4 of LTA but the effort... XD Lol I'll keep charging up then ! :P
Thank for reading and reviewing again ! ! :D Report Review
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