OMG that was amazing, I love Neville I can't wait to read the next chapterAuthor's Response: Aww thanks so much!! It always makes my day when I get a good review :) I love Neville as well and I hope you enjoy reading the next chapter!
By the way, Chapter 3 should be up in a few weeks if all things go according to plan! Report Review
Hey it's Ever here with your requested review!
I really love this. You're such a talented writer! I do love this!
Hannah/Neville is my cup of tea so I was really excited! The plot was fantastic!
The only thing I would really point out is the lack of imagery and sometimes you paragraphs get absolutely huge!
Otherwise I think everything's up to par!
EverAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
Thank you for the compliment! It honestly makes my day to get reviews like this so thank you from the bottom of my heart!
I love Neville/Hannah too! I am really excited to continue with this story and see where it takes me because exploring their relationship is causing me to see the books in a fascinating, new way.
Thank you for the constructive criticism, as well! I am a rambler when I talk so I often write really long paragraphs plus I'm not always sure when and where to break them off, but I'll definitely work on it! Imagery is something that I love when reading but that I sometimes find tedious in writing so I should definitely play around with it more to learn how I could use it to improve my writing.
Again, thank you! Report Review
Hello! I'm True Author with your requested review! =]
This is something I was looking for a long time! I mean, I always wondered how Neville and Hannah became so close to each other, while they didn't even talk to each other in the early books of the series and I really hope you'll explain everything in this! So basically, you have an interesting plot.
The characterization of Hannah was lovely. She was never explained much in the books, so it must have been very challenging to show Hannah Abbott as the central character and I must say you're doing it nicely. Neville's perfectly written, just the way he was when he was eleven.
Still, you have to work on some places, for example- Neville's Grandma's characterization. This story just says that this grandmother of his, is strict and how she keeps saying he could have been a squib, but I think you should write how much she loved her grandson. A scene with Gran talking to Neville kindly before he leaves for Hogwarts, could do.
The level of detail is a little over flowing. ;) Instead of writing paragraphs about their surroundings, you should concentrate on feelings and reactions of the characters from your story. That will make this better.
Otherwise, everything's great. =]Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
I have really loved exploring the relationship between Neville and Hannah because it is so clearly not expressed in the books. I love looking for little details about their lives and building on those to create their personalities/interactions. I am extremely excited to continue with this plot!
Thank you for the compliment on my characterization! I have whole notebooks with every little detail of my characters' lives so characterization is obviously very important to me.
Thank you for your constructive criticism, as well! I actually love Neville's grandmother and I have a few ideas for how to show her loving side later in the story. I will definitely be conscientious of her coming off as too harsh, though.
I also tend to write very long-winded/detailed paragraphs because it's hard for me to let go of phrases and ideas that I love, but I'll work on it! I also agree that I should focus more on the feelings and reactions of characters so hopefully I can explore that in future chapters!
Thank you again! Reading reviews always makes my day :) Report Review
Ah, I love it. I'd say more, but I think I rambled it all out last time-you've done so well characterising everyone, all the Gryffindor boys, it might as well be in one of the books-it doesn't seem out of place at all to what I know. I usually avoid Hogwarts era, because they're often painful, and well, there isn't much to flesh out without changing things. You've done it marvellously, and reading your AN made me all weird and happy; you know your characters well, I think that's it, the statement that Neville is more internal and all-love it.Author's Response: Thank you again! What a wonderful compliment! Obviously my writing is nowhere near J.K. Rowling's but it is wonderful to know that you think my characterization is spot-on with that of the books.
I'm bogged down with work right now but I'm extremely excited to write the next chapter and continue to fill out all the characters! (I'm thinking about attempting NaNoWriMo this year so hopefully I'll get a lot of this story done then) Report Review
Oh wow, this was so wonderfully written I'm not sure where to begin. I'm terrible with canon, in the sense I avoid it like crazy in my own writing because I feel too much pressure to..'get them right'. Neville, in this, is. Well, he's Neville all through. I couldn't fault him if I tried, and I won't, because it's refreshing to see him get his own story.
His grandmother too, I think she's well done. The right combination of foreboding and all, from what we know of her in earlier books-but she's got the spunk in there too that suits her appearance in the last.
I really enjoyed it-the bit of disappointment that he might be more good than brave, the pressure of his parents legacy. And his box of gum wrappers stashed away.
Hannah too of course, her parents were delightfully...filled. So often parents just seem to pop in and out to say a few words and help whatever needs to progress...progress, it was nice knowing how much in love they are, and how much different her world really is from Neville's.
I'm rambling, I shouldn't. Off to chapter two, definitely!Author's Response: Ahh thank you so much!! You honestly just made my day!
I am so happy you liked my characterization because that is extremely important to me (I have whole notebooks filled with information on Neville from the books and from my own headcanon because I really wanted to do him justice). It's also such a relief to hear you say that you liked Hannah's part because I definitely fear that it is less detailed than Neville's but you were right in saying that her world is totally different from his and that is exactly what I was trying to portray.
Thank you for rambling haha! I'm quite a rambler myself and I definitely appreciated all of your thoughts :) Report Review
This was an adorable read. I hope you are able to pull through with it (I understand the college schedule deal). I would love to see this love story pan out and I LOVE Dian Argon as Hannah in your banner. It is honestly what really captured my attention. I like the story, and there seemed to be very few errors. Great job!Author's Response: Aww thanks! I'll be working on the next chapter this Friday so hopefully that will go up soon (or at least once summer break begins haha) It took me so long to choose a person to portray Hannah but I'm really happy with my choice and the banner fits the mood of my story perfectly (shout out to bellatrixx@TDA for the absolutely gorgeous banner)
Loved it! So glad someone's finally writing a Neville and Hannah fanfic :)Author's Response: Thanks so much!! Report Review
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