Pretty cute story so far. Seems James is starting to fall for her. I hope you'll add more soon! Report Review
Hello Sally -- this is the long due review from the Holiday Review Swap. *hides*
First of all, can I just say how cute I find James and Autumn? Their tiptoeing around one another is irritating, I'm going to lock them in a broom cupboard at this rate and shower them with love potion from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!
Rambling aside, I think the relationship they have is adorable to read. I reall wonder who will be the first one to give on though!
And on an unrelated note, I also have an Autumn, except that I ship her with Louis.
But anyway, yes. I find your characters wonderful to read, and Fred has now earned his spot in my part.
"I'M A HELICOPTER, A WIZARD HELICOPTER" &hearts Report Review
This story is really good! (: When is the next chapter? :D Report Review
Hey, it's Whiskey fromHoliday Review Swap!
The frist chapter was so short,I decided to read on :)
I love the tone of the story, the narrator have a very unique voice. It makes it easier to view the world through her eyes and get a different perspective on the most ordinary things.
I do wonder though, how did her family meet the Potters and develope such a strong bond if they weren't anyone we know from Hogwarts? In the first chapter you seemed to imply that James and Autumn knew eachother since they were babies, so the Potters must have met her parents before the kids were born and had the time to establish a very tight bond...Well, i'm sure you will explain this later.
Also, sort of worrying that unrelated 17year-olds of opposite genders are allowed to sleep in the same bed!! ;) I understand that Autumn and James would feel that they are like brother and sister, but I can't imagine a parent that would not have suspicions and worries...
Well,these were pretty short chapters so I can't really say much more except that the tone is great and good luck! Report Review
This is a very interesting idea! The idea that James and Autumn are best friends and sleep in each others beds when they are over at the others place reminds me very much of dawson's creek! I think that this chapter set up your characters pretty well, it at least let us get a good idea of what they are like with each other and their relationships. I would have liked to see a bit more description or something other than conversation to add to the story. I mean you touched on description a bit with saying that her room is painted yellow but other than that, I dont know what she looks like or James. I think if you were to add a bit more it would capture the reader more. This is a good beginning though and very enjoyable! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
Hello my ever lovely little Sallykins. Always the picture of perfection I see ;) Anyways you know I love reading all about James, and Autumn is such an interesting character.
One little grammatical issue that I noticed:
"We have to spent Christmas" -- spend
Anyways keep on being awesome and you better keep on writing your little butt off. I need more ;) Report Review
But yellow is a happy color! It should be a happy morning! Heh, I kick pillows off the bed all the time, and then I get sad because the floor is not a clean place.
Hah, her name reminds me of Beyonce. This is now my mental image.
I noticed some typos:
he didn't fell asleep -> fall asleep
doctors -> healers?
I KNOW YOUR A TEENAGER -> you're
17 year old -> seventeen-year-old
The pair of them seem cute! Glad to know the mother didn't know at first because I could not imagine her being so blithe about the pair of them in bed, hehe, and I like how you led us to believe they were, in fact, sharing the bed. Her thoughts are a bit all over at times, so you might want to look into a few of the things she thinks about, and take some time to explain them, instead of listing facts like how they're heads and on the Quidditch team. There's something that I learned works wonderfully - describing with backstory, I like to call it. Describing current events by comparing to things that have happened or that the narrator wants to explain :) Kind of like what you did with this - I barely remembered that my mom didn't even know James slept over. Not that it matters anyway - he's practically living here the second part of the summer holidays. More like that!
Hee, it's lovely to see more TDA artists around these parts! ♥ That's the second Kristina banner in a row! 8D Report Review
It's me again ^^
Aww, Autumn and James ♥ they are just adorable together! Is it weird that I ship them already? I think it's weird. Oh well, nothing wrong with fangirling, right? (x But they just interact so well together and I get that friendship-y feeling from them.
Once again I'm chuckling at Autumn's little comments. She's the perfect narrator.
I'm glad she still seems to be close with her Mum, even though that can't be a nice situation she's in. Hopefully it won't cause any tiffs between them!
"The Potters have a lake in their garden. Just saying. Cough. How "ordinary". Cough." - my favourite part ^^
Anyways, such a lovely chapter! And once again an important lesson! Mums do see everything!
~E Report Review
Where on earth did you manage to find that awful banner of yours? ;) haha
Seriously Sally you have to stop being so awesome cause it's making all the rest of us look like utter poo on a stick. I really like how you've started off the story and your characterization of Autumn.
I really love James and I hope that they eventually get their act together and you know, get together.
As for criticism, one thing I notice is that sometimes your chapters are a little short. So just as I'm getting into it, it seems to be done. But really that's me searching for something to be mean about ;)
Keep on writing you beast of a girl, cause I know this story will only get more popular and popular. Why you don't have more reviews, I don't know... Report Review
So I finally came back :D.
RIGHT sorry being distracted review review...
I LOVED THIS, the concept and everything it was all good :D AND I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPPIE (so do it quickies yep?)
I think you developed a good characater with Autumn and the relationship she has with James is realistic and just *feels bomb...dies*
I cant even.
I should stop while I'm ahead...
I really should ;__;
None that I can see, which is a wonderful sign :D and don't brush it off BECAUSE YOU ARE *drumrol* TALENTED :D
Peace out :p Report Review
Told you I was going to check out your stories ^^ and make it a Holiday review swap too d:
Ooh, I'm really liking Autumn! She's a very fun narrator, I loved all those little comments she made and that evil laughter (x Her name fits her personality really well, I'm adoring the last name you picked! Does somebody really have that last name in real life? Because if they do, I'm very, very jealous! I want to be fierce too!
Hmm, so James is the best friend? I wonder how long that lasts d: anyways, I really liked him. Seems like a very fun BF!
And her mum ♥ she reminds so much of my own d: Brings back memories, I've heard a similar lecture so many times in my past (x Thank god I've already moved (although it still hasn't stopped my mother)
This was such a fun chapter and I chuckled many times. It was quite short, but I still enjoyed it very much. My only suggestion would be expanding it a bit?
Oh, and I really like the idea that every chapter has a lesson in them. The first one is very important (; can't wait to see what the others are!
Lovely work, dear!
~E Report Review
This is a really good chapter! I am glad to see more James in it as well! Please update soon! Report Review
This. Is. Awesome. Siriusly Report Review
This is a great chapter! I love Autumn's point of view! Please update soon! Report Review
This is an amazing chapter. I really enjoy Autumn's perspective. She is very funny. 10/10. Please update soon! Report Review
oh whats the next lesson? hehe and whats up with Freddo? Hes one of my favourite characters!! WHATS WRONG WITH MY BABY?!?!?? (okay that did not sound strange AT ALL) anyway i really like this story and i hope you keep up with the updating! :) xx Report Review
Awww, what is wrong with Fred? Please update soon! Report Review
Wonderful chapter, love your OC her personalty is infectous! :) I adore the name Autumn and her middle name :) Report Review
Loving the story line so far. Freddy is easily my favourite character now. I can't wait to see where you are going with this. Love the pea war ;)
P.S. now that you have a new review, that means you can continue posting and writing and what not. Love ya ;) Report Review
I loved the last chapter! Thank you so much for updating again. Can't wait to read the next chapter and find out what's wrong with Freddie! Report Review
I love love loved the first chapter! Going on to read the rest now! Report Review
This was a really great chapter! Please update soon! Report Review
I am awesome right? ;)
Another very good chapter. I love the characterizations you use and I'm a sucker for a little bit of cliches. Freddy is fast becoming one of my favourite characters. Now I demand some good fluff soon.
P.S. I can't believe you used that banner lol Report Review
I always wondered how people changed into their robes when the compartment doors are glass... Report Review
So let us just face some facts: you are awesome and this story is so good. I'm loving it so far. Man stop being so awesome, it's making me look bad. Can't wait to read the next chapters.
Love your twin Report Review
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