Reading Reviews for The Help
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm The Deal

14th January 2013:
Hey it's me again from the review tag:)

I think it was really good that you didn't make Lorcan and Lysdander identical, because even though they are twins, they do have differences still so it was nice to see that you showed them from the start. By creating them as unique people it makes a lot more interesting to read.

I thought it was nice to see that the only thing he was good at was Herbology, as the way you make him out it sounds like he's another Neville. Therefore Neville would be more compassionate towards him as he understands it's not always that easy.

I think you should consider writing a sequel as I'm interested to know whether Lysander ever overcomes his problem about girls! Overall I really liked it:D Kiana :)

Author's Response: I do plan on continueing this story sometime, at least I hope to. I just end up getting caught up with my other stories and forget to work on ones I already have posted but I'm hoping to come back and work on all the stories I've got posted! I'm glad you liked Lorcan and Lysander! I wanted to make them different, and this was my first attempt at doing something rather funny. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for the read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #2, by adluvshp The Deal

9th January 2013:
Review Tag!

This was a nice start to your story. I liked your characterisation of Lysander. He does seem to be Luna and Rolf's son xP I like the whole way you set the story in this chapter utilising your scenes :) This seems to be a fun story!

There were some grammar typos here and there though. Like, there was no need for the apostrophes in "screw’s", "Potter’s" and "Weasley’s". But anyway, apart from that, this flowed pretty smooth.

Good work!
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: This story was really my first attempt at writing something funny and silly. I love this story and will hopefully return to it again soon! I know its in need of a touch up to get those errors straightened out so thank you for pointing them out. I will hopefully be able to come back and work on this story more. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #3, by StormThief17 The Deal

9th June 2012:
I love the Scamander boys :) They definitely deserve more attention in the next-gen! Anyway I really enjoyed this chapter, although it was a bit short. Lysander is so awkward and funny! One thing, I would be careful of making Lorcan TOO perfect. Obviously its only the first chapter but just a warning. :) I can't wait to see more!

Author's Response: I also have a start on the second chapter for this story and hope to find some time to finish it up and post it! I think this story is really my first attempt at being funny so its a bit challenging for me. I'm glad that you enjoyed it and found it to be funny as well because I do want this story to be a fun read for all my readers! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #4, by Siriusly3 The Deal

10th April 2012:
I love these two because with a mum like Luna how could you not be a little crazy? I want to hug Lysander, he's adorable. I love how he's scared of everything, heights, girls...haha :). I like how you've characterised him, kind of like a helpless puppy and this could make for a funny story-with the boys helping him you could get some hilarious situations. I giggled when he sat up and realised he was surrounded by girls :D.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked my characterization of Lysander and him being very shy around girls. I hope that this will be a funnier story and those boys will have some fun thats for sure. Thank you so much for readind and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #5, by magicmuggle01 The Deal

21st February 2012:
For a first attempt it was very good. I think that quite a few people have been in the same predicament as Rolf. And also had a well meaning friend who tried to help them out. You highlighted the insecurities very well. 10/10.

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you thought this was a good chapter and that i highlighted his insecurities as well. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #6, by Ring_Felton97 The Deal

21st February 2012:
Slytherinchica,
I think this is a really cute start! Lysander seems like the typical loner of high school, poor guy. Hopefully help from the guys will help him talk to that girl of his. I wonder who it is! I think you should definitely continue this story, it has a lot of potential for a humorous and fluffy story!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like this! The guys will be helping him.. but we shall see who the girl will be. I plan on continuing this story soon! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #7, by charlottetrips The Deal

14th February 2012:
I like that this is about the Scamander twins! They aren't characters I've read much about and I like seeing the different takes authors put on the children of Luna.

It's true I would consider the kids possibly weird just because they're Luna's kids! Thats awful isn't it? But it's something that happens even in our Muggle world, people judge us from where we come from, who our family is, etc.

I don't think Luna and Rolf "hunt" animals so much as study them as magizoologist and naturalist. They wouldn't kill what they're studying, you know what I mean?

You switched tenses here: "I’m not exactly sure who she is but she is gorgeous."

This was a good set up chapter. You've gone into the thick of the story and hopefully you'll use the coming chapters to fill in the twins as well as their friends and this mysterious girl :)

Author's Response: Yeah I figured that the twins would be rather off or more of an interesting type anyways. I tend to switch tenses quite a bit while I'm writing but I'm hoping to have a beta for this soon! I'm really glad that you enjoyed this piece! Thank you so much for reading and reviewnig!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #8, by Hazel Black The Deal

6th February 2012:
Great start, I think this first chapter is really well done!
It's nice and short, and really to the point. You've defined such a great character for Lysander, how he has trouble talking to girls is such a realistic thing for some guys his age. I do hope he doesn't have too much trouble with it in the future!

I laughed at the bit where Lysander thinks Lorcans better looking than him, even though they're identical.

I only have one small concern which is I think words like Quidditch and Quaffle should probably be captalized. Apart from that I think this is really great and you have the makings of a very interesting story :)

Author's Response: Wow! thanks so much for the wonderful review! I'm so glad that you really enjoyed this chapter! I hope to get a beta for this story soon to help with the small mistakes. thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #9, by Moonyxluna The Deal

17th January 2012:
Small side note, I love stories about twins (Fred and George, Lorcan and Lysander, ect) So I'm happy you had me check out this one :)

I just want to give Lysander a hug. It'd probably scare him, me being a girl and all, but he's adorable! I love the awkward, shy personallity you gave him. I think you're exactly right, with a mum like Luna Lovegood, you would have a few loose screws.

I'm favoriting this right now! It's going to be great, I can tell.

Is the cute Huffelpuff girl going to be the girl Davis and Lorcan are going to help with? Ok don't answer that, just write :D

I can't wait to see how Davis' character grows through the story, as well as Lorcan's. The line "Did you just now realize..." was great.

I already can't wait for chapter 2, great job!

Author's Response: I promise you that I will be working on this story soon.. i think it will be the month of May's story! I'm so glad that you like this.. honestly i was just messing around at work and this idea just sorta came to me. thank you so much for reading and reviewing this! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #10, by Cirque Du Freak The Deal

15th January 2012:
I have a feeling this is going to be fabulous. :D

A few things I'd just like to point out would be capitalization of Quidditch, Quaffle, Keeper - just keep that in mind. :) Also a beta would be very helpful as well just to help you iron out all those little things to make this even better than it already is!

I really liked this so far and you've already established Lysander's personality so well in this and you've created that line of difference between the twins and I'm GLAD you did because I always read stories where they're just a bit weird and exactly the same and its really annoyed me, because they have so much potential!

Anyway I can't wait to see what you do with this!

Cirque xxx

Author's Response: Wow! Well thank you for this. I was really nervous that Lysanders personality would be too wierd for some people but i'm really glad you liked it. I do plan on getting a beta but i have to have a first chapter up before finding a beta for it. Thank you for the wonderful review and suggestions.

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #11, by raberbar The Deal

15th January 2012:
I am really liking this so far. A reasonably unique idea if you keep focusing on them. (at least for me)

Keep it going!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This idea just came to me at work one night and I'm so glad that you feel it is a unique idea. Hope to have more of this up soon! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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