This is Ron. It is most definitely Ron Weasley. This is his character, you nailed it completely and utterly. I love the use of the colour throughout. The first sentence, my mind immediately went to Slytherin and, for some reason, I completely forgot about Harry's eyes and the Killing Curse. I think that line was my favourite: "You look at the Killing Curse and tell me good things are green." It sounds like someone who has been through a war, there's this bitterness about him - which I think Ron always had - and yet I can't dislike him for it (and not just because I could never hate the Ron JKR created.) Love the flow and the imagery, and just the whole thing. It was very elegantly written :)
-MaybeAuthor's Response: Oh, I'm so happy that you think this is actually Ron -- honestly, that's like the best compliment ever. :) I love writing Ron, and I really did want to bring out his sort of bitter side here, and not just show him as the comic relief, like a lot of people seem to do. He is sore about always being in somebody's shadow, and I went to this really great panel once (my geek side's about to come out, brace yourself) on writing techniques JKR used in her books. And it talked a bit about that -- how Ron had to come full circle by destroying the locket Horcrux before he could get over his insecurities. It really was very interesting! :D
I love that line you pointed out too, if I can love something I myself have written. ^_^ I'm so pleased you enjoyed the imagery, too, and I was actually quite surprised how well using the color green worked throughout this.
Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and tell me your opinion on this story -- I'm so, so glad you did! ♥ I really appreciate it! Report Review
Amazing! Truly awesome.Author's Response: I'm happy you enjoyed it! I really had fun writing this one-shot -- I love Ron, and I think a lot of Ron's feelings come from really personal experiences, though I might not want to be admitting that to a bunch of strangers. But it made things go more smoothly, at any rate. ;)
Thank you for taking the time to leave a review, and I hope to see you back here before too long! Again, I'm very glad you liked the story! Report Review
I quite like the colour green. >.>
But anyway. Your Ron is bitter without being horrible. He sounds human, which isn't always easy to pull off when you're focusing on the negative, so well done. I wasn't entirely convinced that he does actually love Harry as a brother, but then again, I'm not sure if I was meant to.
The tight focus on this one train of thought worked well, too; it can sometimes feel like in these kinds of fic that there is something more that should be said, but you manage to avoid that well.
So, overall, this is a great little one-shot, and I may just read some more of your fic in the future. :)Author's Response: Hey -- thanks for the unexpected review! Little surprises like this are always so nice to have. :) I, too, am rather partial to the color green, but it worked well here for Ron to hate it.
Quite frankly, a lot of Ron's thoughts in this story are taken from ones of my own -- which might sound horrible, but I've got two sisters my age and it's easy to get lumped together in a group, if that makes any sense. The brotherly affection Ron does feel for Harry (and he really does) didn't make its way into this particular story because -- well, that's not really the thing you focus on when you're wallowing in self-pity. ;)
I'm glad the length worked for you! I love these Every Word Counts one-shots, and that's normally my go-to writing exercise when my other WIPs are feeling a bit suffocating. But anyway, thanks again for taking the time to review this for me. If you dropped back by sometime in the future, well, that'd be awesome!
Great to have a review from you! :) Report Review
Oh how I felt for Ron in this oneshot! I really do feel that he would be jealous of Harry and not just when he has the locket on and the bit in fourth year but all the time. I mean it must be really hard to be seen as the side kick but never the hero so to speak! I think you did a great job portrying his emotions in this piece and really touched the bases of why he was jealous of Harry. I loved the bit where he mentions Hermione and how he isn't totally sure that Harry never wanted to be with Hermione and how Harry being with his sister does bother him a bit! The bit about him quitting the Ministry and getting a job with his brother was good too especially when he mentions that its better being a Weasley than a sidekick. Loved it! Great Job!
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: For some reason, I've got a really fond place in my heart for this one-shot, because I think I (unintentionally) incorporated a lot of my own emotions into it. :) My sisters are so close in age to me that it's sometimes hard to break from the stigma of being associated with them. I'm glad you felt for Ron!
He's such a fun character to explore -- well, maybe not 'fun' but absolutely interesting. Thanks so much for leaving me such a sweet review on this, too! It really means so much to me. And I know I've told you that before, but I keep feeling the need to repeat it, just so you don't forget. ♥ Love you! Report Review
I hate the colour green as well.
I really liked this, it's good to see Ron voicing his opinions about how he feels, always compared to Harry or his brothers.
This was a wonderful read and you really got Ron's emotions across in such a small amount of words. Fabulous!Author's Response: I don't hate the color green, really -- I'm a bit indifferent to colors -- but I think it worked pretty well for Ron here. :D
I always loved the bits where Ron got angry -- which sounds weird -- because they seemed such honest and real emotions. And coming from a house where I'm often closely linked to my two sisters, I can identify a lot with his thoughts. That may have been the basis for writing this in the first place. :)
Thank you so much for such a lovely and unexpected review! It absolutely made my day to see it, let me tell you. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story, and thanks again for taking the time to tell me what you thought! ♥ Report Review
HEY GUESS WHAT I'M ON YOUR AUTHOR'S PAGE.
Ahhh Ron. I love him even when he is jealous to the point of being slightly insane. I always felt so bad for him because of his hand-me-downs and his too-small-pajamas that he was wearing on the stairs when he came down in GoF to see Harry at the fire after he'd talked to Sirius. I do consider it a pretty large win that he got the main character female, even though Harry was never interested in her. But as it goes, Hermione is a far cry from Ginny and Ron definitely won there. ALL THE HUGS FOR RON. I liked the pacing of this one-shot. I mean, it was short, but like, I blinked and it was over because of the sort of stream-of-consciousness of it. Very dark undertones.
~eternal loffs~Author's Response: HAI I SEE YOU THERE. ♥
I always love how you appreciate Ron. And I don't know if I've ever properly told you that before, but I'll go ahead and say it now. Because, as with Snape, I think you and I see him similarly, which means that you know exactly what I'm trying to convey when I write him, even if it's not explicitly expressed. And that's just really cool. :)
I think the thing about these 500-word pieces is that they really almost write themselves. Hardly any thinking goes into them at all, sad to say -- I just write until I hit 500, tweak a bit, and post. Probably not the best strategy, but I DO WHAT I WANT~
You are fabulous. End of story. Thanks a million bajillion, Sarah, for all the support and encouragement! ♥ Report Review
Here for your challenge review! Thank you again for entering the challenge, and I wish your entry the best of luck against the others! :)
Wow. This story is incredibly powerful. Not what I was expecting, but better because it hits one like a punch, that simple, strong voice, confessing the secret jealousies of his soul. It's the story of all sidekicks lost in the shadow, and in Ron's case, he was in the shadows long before Harry arrived on the scene - his whole life, really. You capture this long-term grudge wonderfully, especially in the ways that you have Ron continuously say that Harry is his friend, etc., but each time, he can't convince himself that he's happy to be just the best friend - he needs to be more.
The title of this story fits perfectly in this way because the jealousy is a monster that's eating Ron away from within - he's definitely in danger of becoming a monster himself, the next Dark Lord in the most extreme sense (that would be an insane plot bunny, actually). Certainly the way that Ron associates green with both Harry's eyes and the death curse can be read as disturbing, but it's also a natural association, one that Harry himself would make, too, seeing that the death curse has followed him around all his life (it's as though Harry lives in its shadow, drawing an interesting parallel between the way you've portrayed both characters here).
You've found a very complex way of weaving various ideas surrounding the word "green" through this story, which is made all the more impressive by the story's brevity - you were able to do a lot within a short space, and it feels as though it's a recording of Ron's thoughts for a brief moment in time. I can imagine him seeing something green, or having heard someone mention the word, then this rant pops into his head, and once it's over, he carries on. It's a very natural process - rather like how the word association game works - and you capture it amazingly, going more in-depth with a curious aspect of Ron's personality. It's something easy to feel sympathy for, that desire for attention, to be seen as special, but there's a sour note to Ron's point of view. Maybe not "sour" because it too is understandable in a way, but how he rejects any compliment given to him because it's for something (action or trait) that's shared with one of his rivals is troubling, even worth pitying. He's done this to himself to a large degree by trying so hard to distance himself, and he ends up "proving them right" in the end. He fails to achieve his goal, and it's horrible - very canon and to character, but still very sad. And very real.
If I go on any further, I'll write something longer than your story. This is an exceptional one-shot (it's rather more like an extended drabble because of its constrained focus) written with great feeling and care for every word. Thank you for this. I can definitely see why your stories are so popular and have to get myself reading more of them!Author's Response: I just don't even know how to begin to respond to this. For the sake of curiosity, I put this in a word counter, and you /did/ write something longer than the story! And so now I'm just sitting here and trying to convey my appreciation for this. You've left dinosaur-sized footprints to fill here. :)
I think one of the things I have to thank you most for, though -- or maybe not thank you for, but definitely comment on -- is how accurately you got everything I was trying to convey with this story. You caught all the subtleties, all the emotions I didn't necessarily name but tried to include, and as a writer I have to really thank you for that. It's always such a rush to have someone take the time to read something not just for the sake of reading, but to really /read/ it, and catch all those things that go into a story.
I just... I am so sorry that this response is not going to do this review the justice it warrants. Just thank you, so much, both for leaving it and reading the story with the critical and intelligent eye that it needed, in part. I am so grateful and I am so glad you made the challenge that brought it on, as well! You made my day, Susan, if not my week. :) Report Review
I really liked this peek into the mind of Ron. I felt that you were right on target with how he feels being in the shadow. TO think that you were able to do so in 500 words without it feeling rushed is amazing. There is not a thing about this chapter that I would change. I think it is really good and you should be proud of it.Author's Response: Hey, thanks so much for taking the time to leave this review! I'm glad you enjoyed it, too -- I love these little 500-word pieces, I don't know why. They just come quite naturally, and that's always good. :3
This review is seriously so sweet -- thank you so much! I'm very grateful for it! Report Review
Javct45 here with your review!!
This is the first story that I've read from Ron's POV and I have to say that I loved it.
I think that you portrayed Ron's jealously really well and got across the emotion perfectly! Throughout the books we see Ron overshadowed by Harry and it is very interesting to read Ron's POV of Harry.
I didn't pick any grammatical errors or typos which was good. You did a really good job at telling a story in 500 words as well :)
Good luck with the challenges!!
*Jaz, 10/10Author's Response: Hey, I'm so glad you enjoyed this story! :) I think that Ron's jealousy is an aspect of fic that gets overlooked a lot, and that's always sort of bothered me, because it's definitely prevalent in some of the canon books.
Thanks very much for leaving such a quick and lovely review! I really do appreciate it, and it means so much to me that you took the time to offer, too. Report Review
I know I gave you a really long review before, but I'm afraid I don't have many things to criticize so I can't do that this time!
I really like this story, and honestly I don't have any complaints. It flowed well and you did a good job portraying Ron's character and the many emotions he was feeling. I applaud you for being able to fit so much information and feeling into such a short little piece. :) It's difficult to do that, but you pulled it off well.
I've always liked little ideas like this, taking a character and focusing on one aspect of their life or personality. Ron's jealousy is alluded to several times in the books, but I've never actually read a fic dedicated to that and I really like how you wrote it. :)
-MercyAuthor's Response: Oh, please don't worry about the review size! I really am just so glad you came by at all, and no criticisms really can't warrant a complaint from me! :3
I love these little 500-word pieces -- they are, if I may be so bold as to say so, some of my most emotional stories, and I think it's because I'm so conscious of having to convey a message in a drastically reduced space. I don't know why, but these entries have always been some of my favorite stories of mine.
I agree with you, too, in that Ron's jealousy is rather overlooked in fic. People tend to go for having him serve as comic relief, and while I certainly don't have a problem with that, there's a lot more to him than that! Anyway, you didn't come by to hear my ramblings, I'm sure. Thanks so much for the quick and lovely review, and I'm really glad you enjoyed the story! Report Review
Again, I loved this. :) It just had that different feel to it. I mean, you didn't shy away from putting out Ron's feelings; to undermine his jealousy, and sort of loathing of being shunted aside by some brotherly love or anything. It felt like the truth, even though it feels harsher than in canon. I think the shortness of this piece reiterated just how much Ron loathed being the ignored one, even after the war and everything.
My favourite part was the resentment on his behalf; the way he sees Harry as some competitor (ouch), that he feels like he let him have Hermione.
The overall use of the colour green (especially the ending!) was pretty amazing too. Your writing always inspires this emotion in the reader; it's near-impossible not to connect with what you write :)Author's Response: This is one of my darker stories, I suppose, which I actually like better than my fluffy ones -- they're all a bit harsher, a bit more ragged, I suppose. I think Ron's jealous feelings are so interesting, and I wish more people touched on them in fic! They're definitely present, of course, especially seen in GoF and DH, and even a bit in CoS.
I loved writing about green, too, because it was as though the more I looked, the more I found. But my brain's very English-centered, so there's that. :3 This review, and your others, they just made me pleased as punch today. Truly I cannot thank you enough for leaving them! ♥ You're amazing!! Report Review
Oh, this is very good! I love Ron's perspective, and he's portrayed wonderfully. Thank you for enerting this!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the placing! I am very honored. :) Ron's darker side, shall we say, isn't often seen in fic, and I like writing about little-known things.
Thank you so much for taking the time to review this, and thank you again for second place! I'm really glad you enjoyed this! :3 Report Review
So I read this a few days ago but didn't review because I had no idea what to say. You managed to blow me away with just 500 words. And you made it seem so easy.
Taking the color green and using it to symbolize everything bad in Ron's life is really interesting, and well done. It makes me really feel for him as a character, though it's really nice to see him angry for once about always coming second best. I know we caught a glimpse of it in DH, but you really dig into Ron's jealousy here, expose him raw for us to examine. It's very real.
The ending killed me, when Ron was like, 'It's pretty natural, if you ask me. But then, not a lot of people do.' Oh, Ronniekins! My heart breaks!
Just, really fantastically done. You're definitely a writer that I admire and am completely jealous of. You're just so phenomenal, in everything that you do.Author's Response: I love these 500-word stories -- they are my go-to exercise when nothing else seems to be working for me, and I love the challenge of such a strict word count.
Figurative description is one of my favorite things, and so this challenge was obviously a go for me from the beginning. I cannot begin to tell me how much it means to me that I have your admiration, as well, because you yourself are a prominent and talented author, and that just... I don't even know what to say. Just thank you so much, Missy, and I am forever grateful. ♥ Report Review
OMG. I am going through all your stories like a maniac right now. I can't believe I didn't start earlier. I have always loved Harry's green eyes. It's amazing how you compared them to jealousy. This whole writing is so sad and yet so beautiful. :DAuthor's Response: Haha, wow! I'm glad to hear it, for lack of a more appropriate thing to say! :3 No rush, of course, I don't foresee any of these stories being taken down any time soon.
I loved playing with the idea of the colour green here -- /really/ made me think, and my favorite stories are the ones that make me think while I'm writing them. :D I'm glad you enjoyed it, too, and thank you so much for taking the time to leave me a review! I really appreciate it! Report Review
ho ho ho.. how in the merlin's name did you come up with that??? 500 words of sheer awesomenessAuthor's Response: I love writing these stories -- I've got two others on my page -- and for some reason, it's not terribly difficult to hit exactly 500 words. I'm not too sure why. :D
Thanks so much for leaving a review! It really does mean so much to me when people do, as clichÃ© as that might sound. I hope to see you back again sometime and I'm glad you liked the story! Report Review
Wow, that's a take on Ron which, while shown by JKR in GoF, I hadn't really considered when reading. I always did think the films made him look too much like a buffoonish sidekick, though. I suppose it would be easy for him to fall into this kind of mood, and you've certainly dragged that right out into the open here. Very well done, and every word DOES count! I think you nailed it.Author's Response: I think that, despite the fact that he eventually comes into his own, a lot of people DO see Ron as the comic relief -- both in the books and in real life -- and I know how tiresome it can be to be compared to people constantly. These emotions come from a very realistic place, and it wasn't hard to write them when they were based so much on truth.
Thanks so much for swinging by here again -- it was a pleasure to see your name crop up in my unanswered reviews once more! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story, too! Report Review
Hello, lovely :)
So, fact? I saw the title for this and my first thought was that this would be about Slytherin's Locket. But I love that you've tried to dissect Ron a bit. It's not often that I see a serious Ron piece, and this is probably the kind of story I'd write about Ron, so you know I totally ate up every word.
I love your use of the color green! It's easy to see that it really does represent everything evil in Ron's life: the Killing Curse, Slytherin, that stupid locket, and the reminder that he will always be second to The Boy Who Lived in every story.
I really liked the raw emotion here, too. Finally, Ron gets decently angry about the fact that Harry is sneaking off with his baby sister! I liked the reference to his jealousy about Hermione, too, because I thought that was an interesting point that I didn't consider fully until I saw Deathly Hallows I. You can really feel the pain when he's talking about being the one who gets all the hand-me-downs, both in possessions and glory. It makes it much easier to understand why he'd want to set off on his own in the middle of the Horcrux hunt. It's especially powerful to see that having Harry's good qualities isn't enough for Ron; he wants something of his own, too.
This was fantastic! You packed so much into such a short piece, which is a marvel in and of itself. Best of luck :)
AmandaAuthor's Response: Amanda, you beautiful soul. ♥ Thanks so much for taking the time to swing by this! And you know, I sort of wish I'd thought of the locket idea -- it fits very well. :D I think the world needs more serious Ron pieces, because, as he so pointedly says here, he's not just the guy around for comic relief.
I've always thought it was so interesting that green represents so much evil in the series -- the Killing Curse and Slytherins, as you say -- and yet, Harry's eyes are quite obviously a bright green. I'd actually set out to do a piece involving mirrors, and then I was thinking about colors, and this hit me. Add in the fact that green is also a color for jealousy, and I couldn't say no.
These emotions come from a very real place, and I'm really glad they've translated so well. :) I love these short pieces, because for some reason unknown to me they always end up being some of the stuff I like best on my author's page. No idea why. But anyway -- thanks so much, as always! You really have no idea how much it means to me that you came by. And please let me know just as soon as your own entry is up, because I definitely owe you a review on that! Report Review
I love ron and so had to read this. I really enjoyed the voice of it (even though it pained me to see Ron so bitter and despondent). It was strong and didn't change courses midway. It was a bit like an angry steam train just plugging along on it's course of hatred of all things green. I loved the slight, cynical humour with the killing curse. Ron always was a bit sardonic with his funny comments and that passage worked brilliantly. I don't know how you did this in 500 words. That's like what, half a sentance for you? I kid, I kid... but seriously, I think the length of this one-shot is what gave the words their power. He said what he needed to say and fin.
Loved it, as always.
MelissaAuthor's Response: I love Ron, too! No wayyy. :D Seriously, though, thanks so much for coming by, Mel! I just don't even know how to tell you in words that don't sound, well, a bit lame. (And I'm glad you caught the humour in this, by the way -- very caustic and deeply buried, but I tried to put it in!)
You. You are just fantastic. ♥ Your friendship means so much to me and I am so, so grateful that you took the time out of your writing schedule to come by and leave me this! It means a lot to me. :) Report Review
Aww, Ronnikin, always thinking so low of himself (does that make sense or is it a very bad direct translation?).
No matter how much this made my heart ache and howmuch I wanted to scream at the screen that he was wrong and shouldn't think things like that, well, I liked it. It felt real and true and honest. So very honest that this is what made it so painful.
We all feel like that at times and when I read this, I couldn't help but remember how much I secretly hated my best friends back in high school becaues they were so smart and so popular and pretty and here I was, plain and funny. So, no thanks for taking me back to that horrible time, alright? :)
Seriously, it was very well written and although I wouldn't think that Ron, as an adult, would still feel that strongly about it (we all grow out of it at some point, otherwise, the sour feeling becomes overwhelming) I did like this story a lot. It was just long enough to make a strong impression and not drag. Great work!!Author's Response: Makes sense to me! :) All the emotions in this story were coming from a very real place, so I'm very glad they translated well. I think it's a bit depressing, but at the same time, not totally implausible, if that makes sense.
Another reason I decided to make this into an EWC entry was for the reason you mentioned -- so it wouldn't drag and get repetitive. I'm glad you appreciated it, and thanks so much for taking the time to read and review, Akussa! Report Review
Poor Ron! You make my heart ache for him! That was a fantastic look at Ron and Harry's less-than-best-mate relationship, which we experience a tad in Goblet of Fire, but not much. Thank you for voicing those uncomfortable moments that we tend to gloss over. I know I wouldn't have been able to write them this beautifully.
This was another wonderful story of yours that I have read. The list just goes on and on... I also want you to know that I've favorited you as an author! I think it's about time! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: I thought this one-shot might have been a bit too angsty and depressing to post -- not in terms of breaking rules, but simply because I hate posting such sad things! -- but I'm glad I did. :) I know exactly what it's like to have to be constantly associated with and compared to someone, so these emotions were definitely being written from very real places.
Thanks so much, Cassie, although you've heard it a million and one times by now. ♥ Your reviews really do mean so much to me! Report Review
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