"Holiday Review Extravaganza Event Two"
Hello! This was a nice little one-shot. I liked the insight into Ginny's mind, on how she felt about Harry, and how she missed him so. Her intentions for his birthday "gift" were nicely weaved into what actually happened in canon. I do think though that if she had intended to do what she did, she'd have locked her room door, lol.
But anyway, this was a sweet little fic. I liked reading it. I didn't spot any grammar or spelling mistakes either, so good job!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, it would have been a good idea to lock the door, wouldn't it? ;-) Report Review
I really, really liked that you put more behind what we read in the books with this sense. At first I was wondering if you'd change it, and make this some unknown thing that happened behind the scenes, but then when her brother interrupted them I felt myself giggle about how perfectly you tied it all together.
Ginny's sense of determination throughout, her mixture of loving Harry, wanting Harry, regretting what he has to do but understanding why, and thinking through her own feelings.. all that felt very right to me. I don't understand Ginny. I never loved her in the books, and I think she's one of those characters that I feel like I can't put a personality too. But you gave her a sort of strong patience and wonderful self confidence without making it seem unrealistic, and I absolutely adored that. I also liked that she was nervous, because who wouldn't be? Regardless of those nerves, she knew what she wanted.
You make it clear through this that she isn't moping about what happened. She's upset that she's had to miss him, that she'll continue having to miss him, but she is so stable and I can feel her commitment to him even here. And I think that went miles in taking away some of the whiny girl tendencies I seem to get from her.
There are a few parts that feel over formal, I think adding some more contractions would help clear that up. And I kind of caught myself imagining a blank room, so maybe while she's thinking on how she's waiting in her room for him to wake up, you could slip some details about her room to give me an idea of where she's sitting, what she sees... Both of those are very small critiques obviously, but I thought I'd throw them out!
This is a really heart warming piece, and a pleasure to read!Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely review! I'm sorry that it took me so long to respond to it.
Ginny is really one of my favourite charachters, and I have thought a lot about how she probably felt during HBP and DH. I'm glad that you liked this story even if you are not very fond of Ginny.
Thank you for pointing out some things that could be improved. This story was among the first I wrote, and it is un-beta'ed which I guess shows in the language.
Thanks! :-) Report Review
Would've been awkward if Ron walked in 5 minutes later! I wish I could write as well as you do! :DAuthor's Response: Thank you for your kind words! :-) Report Review
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room.
This was really sweet and touching, from start to finish. I thought you did a terrific job of capturing Ginny's feelings for Harry, both in terms of the obsession that she's had with him since she was very young and the very real need to be with him that she's developed over the years. This embodied the full range of her desire, from the very immature all the way through to a more grown up sort of connection.
The way you continuously repeat the words "love him" and "miss him" really helped to reinforce the single-mindedness of her purpose. By the end, it made perfect sense why she was set on doing what she was planning to do.
As far as constructive criticism, I'll start with a small thing:
"There was times this spring when we got close..." - should be "There were..."
Aside from that, I think it would have been interesting for you to explore more of Ginny's feelings aside from just the way that she misses and loves Harry. She says that she needs him, specifically that she needs him to survive. I thought you could have expanded on that quite a bit. What does she see in her own future? What are her fears and anxieties? And where does Harry fit in all of that? How does her decision to "take him" help her with this uncertain future?
Overall, I thought this was very nicely written. Even though it was short, you captured a very poignant moment from the books and even managed to end it on a note of dry humor.Author's Response: Thank you for a thoughtful and lovely review!
I'm glad that you appreciated how I tried to piture Ginny both as a very young and naive girl, and as a mature and determined young woman.
I'm happy to get some cc on this fic too. I guess I could elaborate more about her feelings.
Thank your for pointing out that grammar mistake too! (It's just the kind of mistake I frequently tend to make, since I'm not a native English speaker...) Report Review
hahaha that was so amazing! you are so talented! keep on writing Author's Response: Thank you! :-) Report Review
This was an awesome story! I really felt for Ginny and loved how you kept repeating "I miss him." You did a great job using some of the lines from the 7th book while creating your own at the kissing part.Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words! I am glad you liked it! Report Review
aw!! that was sooo cute and very intresting i wish you would have carried it on a bit you know gone a little deeper with the kiss or cut it short with an introuption by ron or if you had gone really far into the kiss maybe got introupted by Mrs Weasley any way great story :-DAuthor's Response: Well, maybe I will... I'll think about it. Thanks! Report Review
Ooh I like this :) Poor Ginny! I wish you'd carried on a bit though. I'm wondering what happened afterwards - whether Ron interrupts like he does in the book or if they manage to stay undetected. Did you think of continuing it? It's still nice, regardless :)Author's Response: I think Ron interrupts... But it would be nice with a "what if..?"-story where he doesn't... Report Review
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