I love this idea. It's cool to see a fic about characters that aren't really mentioned after the Battle of Hogwarts. It would be really cool of you would continue this fic. I know I would read it!Author's Response: Aw, thank you! :) Right now I have a lot of WIPs, but once I finish some of them up, maybe I'll revisit the dragons - I'd definitely like to at some point! Report Review
Hello again! This is prize review #2 for winning my challenge :)
What an interesting concept! Dragon research would definitely be a fascinating job, albeit more than a little dangerous. (Also, the idea of someone transferring over to Werewolf Capture instead tells me that this job is definitely not for the faint of heart!) I liked the way you described Padma going about her work; you used just enough detail not to drag me down into the technicalities but so that I got the gist of what a normal workday is like for her. The little joke at the end of the first section was pretty cute, too :)
I really liked the attention you paid to the minor characters here. All too often, I read a story about former students and next-geners working at the Ministry and it's like, "Look, I ran into Hermione! Look, there are five Weasleys over there!" It's nice to see you paying attention to people like Dean and Lavender, especially since you tied in the unfortunate incident with Greyback from canon and made it an important part.
The end of this was funny, and I like that I can see clear personality differences between the sisters. It did seem a teensy bit abrupt; I think I would have liked to see Padma give Parvati a piece of her mind before the story ended, or at least make some last comment about yet another reason for staying as far away from the Ministry as possible. As is, though, it's not bad, and the story overall was great!
Wonderful job :)
-AmandaAuthor's Response: Sorry for taking forever. :(
I'm glad you think it's a fun concept! My Dominique ends up in dragon research, and while eventually I'm going to write a story about that, this popped into my head and I figured that I might as well lay the foundation for it beforehand. (I love making all my stories tie in with each other. It's kind of an obsession.) I also really like minor characters, and I like the lives I've mapped out for a lot of Harry's year.
... I have a spreadsheet. I've been told I'm a little crazy.
I'm glad you liked the joke! I had to work a dig in at Madrid somehow... (Real Madrid's home jerseys are always white. I figured that Catalonian Fireballs would probably hold a grudge. :P)
I definitely see what you mean about the end of the story - I'll look into making it a little smoother. :)
Thank you so much for your reviews. I really appreciate the detail and thought you put into them. ♥ Report Review
Just reviewing for the 'Harry's Missing Year' Challenge - sorry for the delay, I extended the deadline because of the queue closure and then RL got in the way. But anyway, the chapter!
I really liked this chapter; I love how you've portrayed Padma as an adult and working with the Dragons. I really enjoyed how much detail you put into the dragons and how much research you've done on the different breeds (I'm not sure whether you created the breeds or you've read J.K's Beat book - which I'm desperate to read!).
Padma's characterisation is brilliant; we don't really learn much about her at Hogwarts except the assumptions that she is intelligent and probably brave due to her twin sister being a Gryffindor. This really came across well and I liked her hesitantsy (I don't really think that's a word.. but oh well!) at approaching the dragon due to not being completely sure about the dosage of sleeping potion.
It was the small details like how different dragons have different dosages of potion, and how people are trying to figure it out, and then also the pro's and con's of a stunning spell, that made this really realistic for me. Padma's interaction with her co-workers was believable (loved the Ravenclaw domination as I feel that this would have happened in many places!) and I like the easy joking going in between them.
It's understadable why Padma would prefer to be outside rather than in the ministry and I really liked how she was married to Dean whilst Parvati was with Seamus.
We both know that I'm not brilliant with grammar, so I'm not going to even try what I'm sure is amazing anyway. The only thing that I saw was that you've forgotten to put a full stop (or period) at the end of the first paragraph. But that's all really :)
I would be very interested in a story about Drag
on Pox, as even though you only mentioned it a couple times, by brain was going 'oooh? What's this?' and looking for more clues. You've really left this open so you can carry on if you wanted to and I really enjoyed it!
Keira7794Author's Response: Oh, I'm really glad you liked it!
Some of the dragon breeds I got out of Fantastic Beasts, and others I created. :) I'm really glad you liked all the details - I'm really starting to consider writing a dragon pox fic, because I got really into just the little bit in this story. :)
Thank you so much for your review, and I'm really glad you enjoyed my entry! Report Review
I'm here with your review!
It's always interesting to find out more about the Patil twins, especillay Padma since I'm pretty sure the Yule Ball is the only scene in the books/movies she even has any lines in. I kind of like the idea of Seamus and Dean ending up with the twins, it lets them become related to each other the same as Harry and Ron.
I enjoyed the descriptions in the beginning, we could get a real sense of the danger presented by the dragon, and there was a shroud of mystery around the dragon pox that would definetely make for an interesting story if you chose to write more about it. Overall I just enjoy how much detail you've put into these various ministry departments, rather than just showing everybody have the same jobs.
I didn't see any problems with the flow, and I did not find it confusing. There was a build up of suspense as we wondered what the letter was about, and then it ended up being a huge let down at the end, which I'm sure is what you were going for. I wonder if they will go with a traditional Indian name or something more western.Author's Response: Oh, I'm really glad you like the idea of the twins ending up with Seamus and Dean - I was afraid that some people might find that annoying. (Well, some people might... but I'm glad that you're not one of them! :P)
Thank you so much for the review. That's definitely exactly how I wanted it to come across, and I'm feeling a little more confident that that's how it did come across now. :) Report Review
This took a different direction then I thought it would. The ending really made me laugh because I thought it was something urgent, something dragon related and not having to do with naming a baby. Reminds me of my sister! She's pregnant now and is constantly texting me, calling me down to her room and speeding through names after names that I can't even pronounce. I would like to see a follow up story about the dragon pox though because that really intrigued me.
Two quick things. I'm not sure if you were using it as a nickname but you kept switching from 'Sue' to 'Su' and I'm not sure if you meant it because that would be a perfectly alright nickname for someone named Sue. Also, there was one sentence:
She did not wand to spend a second longer in this place than she had to.
'Wand' should be 'want'
See you later Beeezie! :DAuthor's Response: Whoops! Thank you so much for those catches - I always manage to miss a couple typos. Blegh.
Thank you so much for your review! I really appreciate your feedback (as always), and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
A dragon pox fic is eating at my brain... I'm going to force myself to finish two WIPs before I start any more, though! :P Report Review
I thought it was great! I love the characters you used in here, because overall on this site they are very underused, and I think you wrote them very vividly. I have a horrible tendency to veer off mid-chapter and go and find something else, but you have such a descriptive and imaginative way of writing that I really did want to read the whole thing and more!
Also I think it'd be great if you continued the story and wrote more about Padma's dragon research or the Wizarding World being thrown into a big Dragon Pox epidemic!
Keep writing, you're doing great :)
HBAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for coming over and reviewing this for me! I haven't ever written Padma before, and I was afraid that the one-shot would come off as disjointed or awkward to people who aren't me and aren't all that familiar with my characters, you know?
Now I'm definitely mulling around more dragon research fics (that's actually where my Dominique ends up as well, and I love her) or dragon pox fics. That was real potential to be a lot of fun!
Thank you for reviewing this for me. I really appreciate it. *hearts; Report Review
Hahah! That was so funny! I thought it was something...alarming, between life and death! I was so into the story and I could not believe that it was all because of baby names. I can't stop laughing!
The way you set the emotions in the story was really great. It was just really funny and as you get to the end you think 'what's happening now?' and all that confusion and you read that its just about baby names. I was also, before I saw the end, going to say that this story doesn't have humour in it so why was it in that category and I saw the end and I'm like 'OH! That's why.'
I think you really had enough, or more than enough, description in the story to really get the whole story going. I found the dragons rather interesting and I would definitely would want to hear more about them!
Funny story you got,
CloakAuror9 xxAuthor's Response: Oh, I'm glad you didn't feel like it was underwhelming - I was afraid that it would come off as, "Seriously, Beeezie? That was not a fulfilling ending!" I mean, I liked it, but that's not necessarily saying much. :P
I'm really glad that you found the dragons interesting! I'm really into the Beasts Division thing, so I'm thinking I will jump back into the dragons at some point. Hmm.
Thank you so much for your (really quick) helpful review. :) Report Review
Heya! I really liked this story - it was a different idea and I appreciated the use of more minor characters - Padma, Parvati, Dean, Seamus - and the careers you've put them in. Would definitely be interested in a longer story using these characters! Lavender's trauma and scarring was a nice touch - really good to see the lasting effects of the battle on the war generation. Your characterisation and scene setting was very good - you introduced everything very thoroughly and in a short space of time. A very nice little piece, and I hope to see something more come of it soon :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for coming and looking this over for me - I really, really appreciate the feedback, because I really wasn't sure whether it would come off as awkward or strange or undeveloped to people who weren't me, you know? I'm really glad it didn't and that you're interested in seeing more about the characters!
I actually have a post-Hogwarts WIP fic that focuses on Lavender (and Seamus and Parvati) posted called "Ghost in the Machine," on the off-chance that you're interested in it. :)
Thank you again. I really, really appreciate it. Report Review
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