Here I am once again with review 9! I apologize if your sick of me at this point ;)
This was a very sweet story! I loved how the mountain was like Draco's escape from everything, and how he was saved by Luna!
I also loved the last line, I thought it was very fitting and sweet. :3
Well done! Lucy :)Author's Response: Haha no I'm not sick of you ;) Your reviews are lovely :)
Aww thanks :) I'm glad you loved it!
Thank you, I'm glad you thought so :D
Thanks! Caitlin :) Report Review
i luv this one shot. u have paired up my two fav. characters. thanks.
the last line showed typical luna...
10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I'm glad you thought it was typical of her! :) Thank you so much for this review! *mad flailing* :D Report Review
Hey I think this is great a good way for the two to meet up and a steady paced story for sure!Author's Response: Aaah thank you so much! :D Report Review
I absoloutely love this. Fantastic Pairing and though I couldn't see Draco saying some og those things, every time Luna spoke I could actually hear her voice saying it. Fantastic job!Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I'm so happy you were able to think of Luna like that! She's a toughie to write! Draco's tricky as well, thanks for letting me know what you thought :) Thank you for the lovely review! Report Review
I love your descriptive language and imagery in this! It captured everything so daintily. i can tell you really thought this through.
But one thing I didn't particularly like was that most of the story seemed to be focused upon the mountain. And while I said about the lovely descriptions, it can become a little TOO overwhelming! It would be nice to have a longer taste of Luna/Draco action, one that didn't just seem rushed/squeezed in.
Speaking of Luna, wow I thought you characterised her so well! She's always a tricky one because you have to be careful not to go overboard on the airy fairy crumple-horned snorckacks. But I think you've done really nicely.
Draco was done well too. The mountain concept was interesting, I like to imagine him hiking up one. I love mountains too. They're so fresh! And this story did seem really fresh. Very fitting for a mountain.
I really enjoyed it!
LWG :)Author's Response: Hey!
I'm terrible at dialogue and somehow human contact as well so I definitely need to work on that! That's probably why the Luna/Draco parts went so quick :/ But thank you for letting me know what you didn't like about it!
Aaah thank you! Luna is definitely a tricky one. I'm glad you thought she was okay.
Thanks! I was given action/adventure for this challenge and hiking up a mountain was what I thought of...kind of random, but that's what I did :P
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)
Caitie :) Report Review
Hey, dobbys_socks here.
I thought you did very well with this ship. I've actually never read a Draco/Luna before and you really captured what I thought it would be: Luna still fairy-like and dreamy and you allowed Draco to be himself, which you don't often read.
I liked this story very much and will get back to you on the results.
dobbys_socksAuthor's Response: Thank you so much!! I'm glad I captured what you thought it would be! Thanks :) Report Review
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your 2/2 reviews for your participation in the Seven Deadly Sins challenge!
I'm not quite sure what I think of this one.
Draco's reaction is definitely in character, but I wasn't sure whether his hiking was, and I was also a little confused about the sequence of events. Why on earth was Luna up there in the first place? How did she get him home?
I guess I felt like the characters' reactions were in-character, but their actions were a little out-of-character, if that makes any sense at all. Draco's distaste at the idea of relying on someone else and Luna's insight were both great - it was just the thing that brought them together that gave me pause.
I do hope that you continue to write, because you're already quite good, especially for someone just starting out! I'd also recommend requesting reviews on the forums, because people can be super helpful - some of my favourite reviewers are SilentConfession, apocalypse, Cloak Auror, and Roots in Water. They can be really helpful with pointing out what's good in your story and what could use some work. :)Author's Response: Well hiking was the first thing I thought of when I was given the genre action/adventure. I have absolutely no idea where it came from! So I suppose that's why it wasn't exactly in character.
I think I was too vague in my description of why Luna was there, but it was because she was searching for creatures that only live up high. They didn't actually leave the mountain in what I wrote of the story - so they weren't even going home yet :)
It makes perfect sense :) I'm glad you thought their reactions were in character though...next time I'll make sure the situation works as well!
Thank you! :) I'll definitely request some reviews! Thanks for the tips on who to ask :)
Thanks again :) Report Review
This is actually really good! :DAuthor's Response: Aww thank you so much! :D Report Review
How did Luna actually get up the mountain anyway? Your explanation doesn't quite cover that part.
Draco's situation is quite believable. The part about being controlled is well in character.
Overall, nice job. Keep it upAuthor's Response: Thank you :)
Hmm good point, I might edit that and clear it up.
I'm so glad you think Draco's situation is believable, I was a bit worried about writing him!
Thanks! This is actually only a one shot at the moment though :) Report Review
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