Reading Reviews for To Die For
37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alicia and anne Bad Moods

18th January 2014:
I really want Tristan to get rid of Bonnie and start going out with Roxanne, but I know I'll have to wait for that to happen. I'm so impatient!

Poor Tristan, having Bonnie following him around. But I agree with Aidan, it's hilarious!

I am loving the interaction between Tristan and the others, and how they're saving him from Bonnie. I can see them all being life long friends! Or just friends for a long time. :P

OOoo who is this mysterious number 2? And it's a tracker, very interesting!

And why is he not going for Tristan? That's weird if he knows where he is?

Oh no! How is he going to get the stone now? That's not good at all.:S

Hahaha Potters always getting in the way, brilliant! :D And they really are :P

EEK! It's getting awesome!!! Can't wait for more! :D

Author's Response: Be patient, it may be a while yet, before Tristan is with Roxanne (if he ends up with Roxanne ;)). BUT he'll leave Bonnie sooner. :P

Aidan is very much right, it's hilarious for everyone else. But also sad for Tristan. Poor boy.

There's definitely a bond between them, I think they'll be friends for a long time, too. :)

Ah, number two. They won't be here for a while yet either. He's happy to stay in the background and watch... for now.

It's not good, we should hope he has another plan.

Haha, Potters are always getting in the way. ;)

Thank you for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #2, by lookatthatfanfiction Bad Moods

3rd January 2014:
This is such an interesting story I love the idea! Can't wait for the next chapter, need to find out how tristen was turned and his goal in collecting the stones

Author's Response: You will find out how Tristan was turned and the stones very soon (well, when I get back to the story on my list). :)

I'm glad you like the idea. Thank you so much for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #3, by alicia and anne Hunger

25th July 2013:
I kinda want christmas to be here now because of the start of this chapter! :P I think that they'll be allowed to open a present early. :P
I don't want him to be scared, I want him to be calm!

Aidan knows!! :O I hope that they can be friends and that Aidan helps Tristan find what he's looking for? :D

Roxanne and Tristan are talking! They're getting closer! :P Tristan she stares because she loves you!!! She wants you!

Do I spy some Roxanne/Tristan flirting? I love it! I shall take any moment I can get, even if it's just elbow nudging! :P

Tristan wants her! That's made me so happy!

I can't wait to read more! Loved this chapter! I wonder if he'll find what he's looking for in Hogsmeade? Although where would he look down there?

Author's Response: How doesn't love Christmas? I don't think they'll open a present early, though...

Oh, he has to be scared right now.

Yes, Aidan know. And they're gonna be good friends. :)

Haha, she loves him. He loves her. They just don't know it yet. ;)

Haha, I spy Roxanne/Tristan flirting, too. I wonder where it will lead. :P

Thank you so much for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #4, by navyfail Reminiscence

24th July 2013:
So he is a vampire. That makes sense about how he can live so long. 1612? That means he is over 400 years old, right? I like that you introduced what he is after: the jewels/gems. Though I still wonder why he is after them. Him being a vampire makes him seem more intimidating than he is already. And he is one of the ones that feed on people not animals. :O

Now that you introduced Henry, a person from Tristan's past, I have a couple questions: Is Henry still alive? Will we see him in the later chapters? Did they never meet again?

The plots is coming along. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: Yeah, he's a vampire. He was born in the 1400s, which makes him nearly 600 years old. Very old to some, young to others. Spooky thought. :P

A means to an end, why will come eventually. :)

Henry is still alive. You will see him again. They met again a few years after the Ministry break in and stayed in touch ever since. :)

Thank you so much for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #5, by navyfail Worth the Trouble

24th July 2013:
First chapter and I am already hooked. When I clicked on this story, I did not expect Tristan to be a criminal that was supposedly hung and then escaped. :P I actually like his character a lot already. The bad boy thing and shady past has always been interesting to me. The jewel I am guessing is going to play an important factor in the story since he went out of his way to get his hands on it. And I have a feeling we are going to see his smirk more often.

Great chapter.

Author's Response: Yep. He's a very naughty boy, but one with a purpose. I'm glad you like him, I'm very excited about him. He's one of my favorites to write. :)

The jewels will come back and his smirk will be around for a while. :D

Thank you so much for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #6, by marcisam Hunger

23rd July 2013:
Great story!!! Cant wait for the next update

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I glad you like it and I hope you continue to! :D


 Report Review

Review #7, by GirlOnTheSidelines Jealousy

6th May 2013:
Great chapter, definitely looking forward to more. Naughty Tristan though... As stupid as Bonnie is, I hope she doesn't get too hurt as she doesn't seem like a particularly nasty person. That Skander kid sounds interesting, I hope we get to see more of him too and Hugo. I love Aidan. I don't really know why, I just do.

Anyway, well done and update soon!

GirlOnTheSidelines x

Author's Response: Tristan is definitely naughty, he has no boundaries and he doesn't care about right and wrong.

You'll see that Bonnie is as dumb as she maybe pretends to be. ;) But, no, she's not nasty. I guess we'll see what happens to her.

You'll see a bit more of Skander and Hugo, but they pop up together a lot in my stories (he's a recurring character), so you can know more.

Everyone should love Aidan, he's very lovable. I'm glad you like him. He is also a character who likes to pop up... Actually, I have a few. :D

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you so much for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #8, by Casper Jealousy

2nd May 2013:
Great chapter! I'm interested to see what a jealous Roxanne will do..

Author's Response: More jealous Roxy in the next chapter. Thank you so much for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #9, by alicia and anne Jealousy

27th April 2013:
I like that he's going against the norm and sitting at other tables.

I am also loving Roxannes talk with Tristan about Hugo and Skander. The way that she described Hugo is so true!!

Tristan and Bonnie aye? He definately doesn't have any self control at all! And he bit her! Glad he covered that up :D And Roxanne is definately jealous of them.

Wonderful chapter! I can't wait to

Author's Response: Norms are over-rated in Tristan's eyes. Who needs norms when you can be an awesome vampire? :P

It so is. He's just so... Not good, but awesome at the same time. It's why we love him. :D

Yep, Tristan and Bonnie. Lets see where it goes. ;) Self control is not on his mind right now. And, yes, she so is. :P

Thank you for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #10, by alicia and anne Be Careful

20th March 2013:
I love how you've portrayed Roxanne and having her knowing everything about everyone, and how she loves to gain knowledge on people.
I love that Tristan has a fridge of blood in the kitchens, that's really good that the house elves don't mind, but they're probably too scared to do anything.
It's amazing that Tristan can sense werewolfs, I wonder too if Aidan can sense something different with Tristan?
Ahhh they're talking about Vampires and there is one right there! :D Brilliant!
I think that Tristan is going to ace that class and probably correct the teacher.
I can't wait for Aidan to find out what Tristan is :D and I think that Roxanne will definately find out a lot more about Tristan.
Brilliant chapter! I am seriously in love with all of your characters and stories :D

Operation: Green with Envy

Author's Response: I love this version of Roxanne. She's very aware, you don't want her knowing your business. ;)

They do mind, they're just terrified of him. That's why they won't say anything, even though he's promised he's not there to hurt them.

It's because of their sense of smell. Aidan can sense that there's something different about him, but doesn't know what because he's never met a vampire.

Probably. :D

Roxanne won't know yet.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #11, by alicia and anne Secrets, Lies and New Students

20th March 2013:
I really want a Tristan and Roxanne relationship to happen right away haha, as nice as Aidan may be :D
Ah they're friends with benefits, like you just said :D That makes me happier.
Oh he's a werewolf? Is she going to be caught in the middle of a Vampire/werewolf romance?
Ah Tristan will just be 'trasnfering' I had images of him trying to hide in the school haha, skulking around corners and sleeping in the cupboards :D
Ahh the love has started with them staring at each other and Tristan winking at her! :D
I am really liking Tristan, I think he's up there with one of my favourite characters from your stories, although in fairness all of your characters are my favourites :D

Author's Response: Haha! Ooh, not yet. But don't worry, Aidan won't be a rival (not in this story anyway).

OMG, that would have been so amazing and hilarious. I wish I'd written that.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #12, by alicia and anne Talents

20th March 2013:
Wow he is really old! I can't even work out how old he is (I probably could if I wasn't being so lazy :p)
I know that the Founders created Hogwarts a very very long time ago, but it's still crazy to imagine people went to Hogwarts and Hogsmeade that long ago.
Oooo I wonder who that guy was?
Has Tristian pretended to transfer to the school or is he just going to 'break in'?
I love that Fred glued Hermione and Ron together! That's so funny! :D
Yay! You included Hugo being a theif :D
This is definately another one of your stories that I've favourited :D I think I've favourited every story that more then a one shot I think? If not I'm going to be :D

Author's Response: He's... very old. :P

I know! Me too.

Aww, you so amazing.

Thank you so much for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #13, by alicia and anne Reminiscence

20th March 2013:
So he's going to Hogwarts? :D
I wonder what the different stones and gems could mean? what is he going to do? I need to know! haha
I am really loving that he's a vampire and seeing the flashbacks of him getting the stone and the hurt he went through to get it. I hope that it's worth it.
The vampire diaries is so good! I love it! (Although I've only seen up to season 3)

Author's Response: He's going to Hogwarts!

The stones are a very important means to Tristan's end. You'll find out why soon enough. ;)

Thank you so much for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #14, by alicia and anne Worth the Trouble

20th March 2013:
He survived that hanging? He's got to be supernatural!
That was a very good and interesting first chapter! I have so many questions, how old is he? Is he a vampire? I'm going for vampire because of the whole draining someone of blood thing, What is the jem for? And how is he going to be involved with ROxanne?
I can't wait to find out more!

Author's Response: He is supernatural. You'll find out what spin the next chapter. :D

All of your questions will be answered as the story continues. Thank you so much for leaving a review!


 Report Review

Review #15, by ChaosWednesday Worth the Trouble

11th December 2012:
Hey, it's Whiskey from Holiday Review Swap!

I liked the beginning of this story very much! You didn't waste any time or space on superfluous description because late 19th century London is a setting we all know very well.Nor did you try to delve much into the character's mind, leaving him to remain a mystery for a while longer. It was quite gripping.

If I could offer some advice, then it would be to limit the amount of times you used the word "he". Try replacing it with "the fugitive", "the prisoner", "the man" etc. Or try rephrasing the sentences into a bit more complicated format so that you don't need to use it at all.

Also, some more setting description of the boat might have added to the excitement of the last part of the chapter. It seemed a bit rushed to me ...

Happy writing!
Cheers :D

Author's Response: Hey!

I'm really glad you like the beginning. He's a very mysterious character; even when you know more than the other characters, you won't know everything. That's what I love about mysteries. :)

Thank you so much for leaving a review and for the critique, I'll be reading over my story again. :D


 Report Review

Review #16, by gingersnape Worth the Trouble

11th December 2012:

So mysterious and elegant and in such a wonderful time period! My, my, my and an inconceivable escape? What could be better?


I felt like I was really there the whole time, my eyes glued to the screen as I didn't know what on earth was going on, but at the same time I felt like I could feel the characters breathe you had such vivid descriptions.

His wit when he was being hung was brilliantly done - I don't know who on earth he is, but I like him a lot and you've done a brilliant job with characterization in just a few words. I kind of got the Moriarty vibe in his last words, elegant and under control, even when it looked like he had no way out AND THEN BOOM. MAGICAL ESCAPE. AHHH PLOT TWIST.

His change in identity at the end also really added to him as a whole. The quick response for the new name and the pitiful story to win some sympathy worked so well with his desperate words.

He is quite the trouble maker too, now isn't he? Running amuck and committing some pretty hefty crimes for... the philosopher's stone? Something else? I can't wait to see!

I'm also excited to see where Roxanne comes into this, especially as he is going to America in 1872? So much untold, ahh it's so exciting!

:wub: You're fantastic and so is that CI and the banner and your everything!


Haha! All is not as it seems in this chapter. ;)

WILD SAM. That is so cool.

Aww, thank you. I always think my descriptions suck.

Oh, he's totally Moriarty-esque, especially in this chapter. And he's got mad skills. :P

He's been planning his escape for a long time coming, knows exactly what to say does Tristan.

Not the Philosopher's Stone, no, but something very valuable to someone he knows.

I hope you like how Roxanne ends up in this.

Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #17, by slytherinchica08 Worth the Trouble

7th December 2012:
A rather interesting beginning! I think you've set up your original character rather well and have made this first chapter a great start! This chapter brought up questions about who this boy is, what he has to do with Dom and what is going to happen now that he has left England. And what exactly is that red gem that was so important for him to take? I guess only reading on will tell me. This story is so different from what I usually read (basically just romance) so this one caught my eye right away! I can't really say much though about how you are doing on the other genres as I dont have much experience with them but I would say that so far you have set up the mystery/action/adventure part of the story rather well. I think that this is a great beginning to your story and leaves your readers wanting to know more! Great Job!


Author's Response: Yay. I'm glad. I like when readers have questions, though do you mean Roxanne, not Dom? All questions shall be answered.

There will be romance in this story, a little. I don't think it's enough to put it as a genre, but I always write a little. But i'm glad you read it anyway, this is one of my favorite stories to write, with two of my favorite genres - horror and mystery. :D

Thank you so much for choosing to read this story. I hope you stay for more. :)


 Report Review

Review #18, by ILOVEMRMEN Talents

24th July 2012:
*Screaming* I loved this chapter and hell yes do I want it to be more frequent please update soon I already a completely in LOVE with it :)

Author's Response: I hope to update again really soon. Thank you. :)

 Report Review

Review #19, by ILOVEMRMEN Reminiscence

24th July 2012:
I think that this story is brilliant! Honestly I love the way you have structured your story it just makes you want to read more. I cant wait to read the next part... upload soon I cant wait!:)

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm really glad you like it because I love this story and I've recently started to continue. :)

 Report Review

Review #20, by AC_rules Worth the Trouble

20th June 2012:
Hey Sam! So, remember at some point in... oh, February you requested a review from me on this story? Well guess who's finally got to it? Yup, that would be slightly ashamed old me who hates to admit that it's taken her this long but it has... so my excuse is exams and general life taking it's effect. But, to make up for the four month delay I'm going to be going overly in depth and as constructively critical as I can possibly be. Like betaing in a way (just remembered I have loads of chapters of yours to beta; gosh, I'm terrible). OKAY.

So, the first sentence is so grabbing and ACK that I'm very excited by this whole thing (reading whilst reviewing, for the win). It was such a crisp clear line. One of those grabbing the reader by their hair and pulling them along sort of things. It's awesome :D

The crowd stared in stunned silence at his indifference to the fact he was going to die and his answer This line felt a tad awkward to me. I think it was the 'and his answer' bit at the and. Maybe 'at both his indifference...'

"Time to go," he said to no one and was gone before the officials could reach the street corner. This bit of dialogue should finish with a full stop. Also, I think it might work slightly better as two sentences? "Time to go." He said to no one. He was gone before the officials could reach the street corner. Just a thought! As always, feel free to ignore.

Just, another point, I think you should have highlighted his persona change a little more. The mental process of forgoing his slightly crazed, adventurer type attitude to a boy who needs help. The change felt too sudden, which is kind of good I suppose, but I thought it would be nicer to have more description behind the motivation behind the manipulation, if you see what I mean.

OKAY. Now, onto the fun stuff. You asked abut description, flow and characterisation.

So, starting with flow. I really liked the way you structured this with the small snippets which made everything feel really fast paced and urgent. It definitely suited your writing style to have it so concise and precise and spread out like that. I really liked it. It was all shiny and what not. As usual, your writing flows really quite well - but you should know that by now. You have a nice way of writing that makes readability both easy and pleasurably, which is quite a talent.

Description. Well, I think that you're writing style doesn't lend itself to vast amounts of description. Personally, I like a little more description about the depths of the characters and such, but as a first chapter you didn't really need much of that and it worked really well with the amount, and of course, the quality that you had.

Characterisation - well, I like Tristan Chase plenty. He has that attractive sort of you're-bad-but-you're-also-hot sort of air to him which I can tell is going to be really fabulous when this story gets going a lot more.

As a first chapter it was definitely entertaining and exciting and definitely leads me to wanting to read plenty more and such! Thanks for requesting and feel free to do so again if you want :)


Author's Response: Hey, Helen. So, wow. Sorry this has taken so long...

That first line was literally the basis for this story - I had no idea how I was going to start it (was he back in time? Was he with Roxanne? etc), but as I was thinking of this, I had this little vision of this happening to him and I had to use it. So, I'm glad it drew you in. :D

(Editing as I read) Thank you for pointing out those suggestions, I've gladly added them. :)

Thank you! That's an amazing compliment from you, Helen!

Description I'm still working on, even now, but it's something I'd like to think I'm getting better at.

I'm so glad you like Tristan - he's definitely all of what you said. He uses it all to his advantage. ;)

Thank you so much for leaving this review, Helen. It's really helped me!


 Report Review

Review #21, by HiddenFace Reminiscence

23rd May 2012:
This is a really great start, I am already enthralled and I hope you keep going. This is unlike most of the other stories I've read here and I'm really eager to see where it is going so please update soon,

Author's Response: This will be continued, don't worry. The next chapter is almost finished, so it should be posted soon. :)

 Report Review

Review #22, by Cirque Du Freak Reminiscence

19th April 2012:
I'll start with the critique again. :)

"his Armani [sunglesses] up" -- typo, sunglasses.
"to trace [it's] whereabouts" -- here you need to change it's to its as it otherwise reads as "to trace it is whereabouts".

"his hands through it one [to] many times" -- too.

"What is ... stones that would [would] willingly travel the world to find them[.]" -- extra would and this sentence doesn't make sense unless you add a pronoun in the place of the extra would.
This sentence starts with 'what' so therefore a question mark is needed instead of the full stop.

"his list of [priorites]" -- typo, priorities.
"Henry scoffed [halfheartedly]." -- typo, there needs to be a dash/space between half-heartedly.

"had [obvivously] believed" -- typo, obviously.
"him to stop[,] then a spell" -- either remove the comma or add 'and' after the comma.

"out at [arms] length" -- need to add an apostrophe here, arm's.

On to the story!

I really enjoyed this chapter, because of all the time jumps everywhere. Its very interesting to read two different eras in one chapter - to see that nothing about Tristan has changed very much, his goal and mannerisms are the same. I think you've done really well in the consistency of his character. :)

I'm glad you alluded to what Tristan is rather than just outright saying it, because it gives the reader the chance to come up with theories on what he could be. I had guessed as much from the last chapter that he was a Vampire (lots of reading & episodes of TVD does to that to you ;D).

You've really made me interested in what he wants the gems for exactly and what he has to go through now to get the final one seeing as from the time jumps its taking him quite long to retrieve them all.

I didn't find the name changes particularly confusing, but its good you pointed out seeing as some other readers might. :)

Anyway, its a really good chapter - I enjoyed it!


Author's Response: Hey.

I'll get to those errors, thank you. :)

Yeah, Tristan only has one goal in mind and it has taken him a long time, but we'll get to why that is as the story continues. :) And, yes, he's a Vampire. I agree, TVD does that. :P

Thank you. :)


 Report Review

Review #23, by Cirque Du Freak Worth the Trouble

18th April 2012:
Hiya! Its HopelessRomanticx from the Forums with your review!

I found this really interesting as a first chapter, but just some nitpicky things (most suggestions and just me ahah, feel free to ignore!)

"He rubbed at the rope bound around his wrists, [itching him,]" -- here I feel like this sentence is quite awkward so I would word it as "He rubbed at the itching rope bound around his wrists".

"and looked up to the [judge]" -- capitalise Judge.

"he was going to die and [his answer]" -- this seemed like it was an afterthought rather than an important attachment. I think you need to add an adjective before 'answer' like 'absurd' or 'uncouth'.

"to the [judge] standing" capitalise Judge.
"red [jem] and held it up" -- spelt as 'gem'.

As for the broken speech of the old man - I think you need to tone it up a little to really emphasise his voice so instead of ""What are you doin' back here?"" rid of the 'you' so its a bit rougher.

""An' who gave you permission to come aboard me boat." -- "An' 'oo gave you permisstion t'come aboard me boat?"

That sort of thing. :)

On to your story!

I love the idea of this alreayd - the mystery of this character, how does he get away with not dying, is he really just a Wizard, why would he want a jewel, how often does he do this, how old is he? All those lovely thought-provoking question makes my inside squee in pleasure. :D

I think you've really got an interesting premise and to use such easy language with the time period is also very important and really encourages readers to try out older time periods and not find it hard/boring.

I think I might have liked a little more description/monologe of Tristan at the beginning of this chapter, but otherwise it was perfect and I enjoyed this very much!


Author's Response: Hey, sorry it's taken so long to respond...

I shall be going through those errors soon, thank you for pointing them out to me. :)

I love that you have these questions, It'll make it interesting when you figure out what he is... :P

Thank you so much for the review.


 Report Review

Review #24, by Cassius Alcinder Reminiscence

7th March 2012:
Review tag!

So i really enjoyed the first chapter of this story, and now I'm back and pleased to see that the second chapter did not disapoint!

I;m really enjoying the variety of setting in the story so far. Victorian London, futuristic NYC and 1600's Paris are all so fascinating, and you made good use of them.

I loved the amount of suspense that has ocurred so far. The plot is movingalong really quickly, and I'm anxious to find out the significance of the stone and why he's going to such lengths to obtain it.

And wow he's a vampire. Its nice to read a story about vampires that's actually good, unlike a certain other series that I won't mention.

Great job so far, I'd love to read more when you write it!

Author's Response: Yay! There are a few shifts in time like that, so I'm glad you're enjoying that.

Ah, the stones. Their significance will be known soon enough. :)

YES! I love vampires, so I love that Tristan is one in this story. And thank you, but we will never mention that series...

I've almost finished the next chapter. Thanks for the review.


 Report Review

Review #25, by academica Worth the Trouble

19th February 2012:
Hi! Thanks for the swap :)

Ooh, neat! A very intriguing beginning. I can see hints of Jack Sparrow, Sherlock Holmes and others in Tristan, and I already like his devil-may-care characterization, though of course it will be helpful if more depth is added to him later on in the tale.

As for critique, the action here did seem to go a bit fast, and I think you could have benefited from a bit more description. I think you could paint the scene a little without giving away too much of the plot if you're careful, just to make the reader feel more involved in the story and relate to your character.

Great job! :)


Author's Response: I think hints of Jack and Sherlock were happy coincidences. I never planned Tristan to be like them, but I have no doubt they were on my mind, being two of my favorite people. And Tristan is awesome like them. :P

You will know more about Tristan as the story continues, definitely. His whole "mission" is based on his past. :)

I must say, I tend to avoid action because I'm terrible. LOL. Thank you for the critique.


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>