Reading Reviews for Iris
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CambAngst Fred Weasley

19th December 2013:
Hi, Joop! I'm on your last chapter, so you know what you need to do. ;)

Everything is always at least a little bit sad where Fred is concerned. I accepted that a long time ago. It's just part of the experience. In this chapter, however, you balanced the sadness really well with lovely moments of excitement and optimism and happiness. That's always a great thing to have.

I liked the way that you drew out some differences between Fred and George. It's annoyingly cliche when authors act as though there were no differences whatsoever between the two of them aside from their names. The twins were two individuals who happened to share an incredible life bond.

I liked the mention of how Ginny's own children have been corrupted in a way by the products from WWW. As this story has gone along, it feels like you've gradually aged Ginny in a way. You focused so much on the time when she was a little girl in Bill and Charlie's sections, then gradually brought her along toward adulthood as you get to her younger siblings. By bringing James, Albus and Lily into the narrative, it gives us even more of a sense that we're getting Ginny's adult perspective on events that took place many years previous.

You captured a lot of raw energy in the scene where Fred shares his dreams for the joke shop with Ginny by the Black Lake. His enthusiasm sort of radiates off of the page. It was a really striking contrast to...

Whimper. The really horrible scene in the Great Hall. As sad as this part is, I loved what you did with it. The idea that Ginny was thankful that she never had to look into Fred's lifeless eyes, yet those eyes haunt her in her dreams. That was really deep and meaningful to me. Your ending to this chapter was absolutely beautiful. It's the sort of sentiment that I think Fred would have appreciated, even as he made fun of you for being such a sap.

Excellent writing! I couldn't find a single typo or grammatical problem. Can't wait to find out about George, Ron and possibly Harry and Hermione. :)

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Review #2, by CambAngst Percy Weasley

14th December 2013:
Oh, Percy, Percy... I can't imagine how awful it must have been to be the closest Weasley sibling to Fred at the moment of the explosion. I concur completely with where you went with this. Percy is such a perfectionist and a control freak. I'm confident that he spent countless hours wondering "what if". It's just his personality.

I like what you did with making the first post-war wedding a major inflection point in the family's healing process. It's difficult to focus on the bad things during a wedding. Well, unless the bride or one of the mothers is being a complete basket case, but let's assume that wasn't the case here. It's a day that's all about the future.

I adored the scene you painted with Ginny and Percy watching the sun set while he pours his heart out to her.

Though he had hurt me and the family terribly when he had walked away from us, he was still my older brother. He was still the boy who had sat with patiently with me night after night as I struggled over the longer words in my favourite storybooks when I had first begun to read. He was still the boy who had pushed his pride aside and braided my hair for me when Mum had been too busy to do it herself. -- That's a lovely sentiment. It just sounds like the sorts of things Percy would have done for Ginny. In some ways, he was actually a lot less image-conscious than his brothers.

The simplicity of the sentiment as she watches Percy overcome the pain of the past and find pure happiness with Audrey felt really apropos.

As far as suggestions go, I thought this line was a little confusing:

A few weeks after Fred's funeral, I found Percy sitting outside the Burrow staring into space as the first rays of the sun begun to set, a red haze slowly setting over the horizon. -- Maybe say "the last rays of the sun"? "First rays" sounds more like sunrise.

Great job!

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Review #3, by CambAngst Charlie Weasley

14th December 2013:
Hi, there! See, I did manage to overcome real life for a few minutes.

This has got to be one of my favorite characterizations of Charlie Weasley that I've read. He isn't nurturing (Molly and Arthur) or a role model (Bill). He doesn't psychoanalyze Ginny (Percy) or try to make her laugh (Fred and George). He isn't trying to be her friend (Ron). He's just there for her. He has a quiet strength and a presence that combines perfectly with his no nonsense attitude. All traits that would be perfect for a dragon wrangler. Dragons don't care much for nurturing, role models, psychoanalysis, laughter or friendship, I'm assuming.

The idea that Ginny would be so attached to her birthday as being something solely and uniquely hers made a lot of sense for the youngest of so many children. Everyone needs some things to indulge themselves in, after all. It's horrible to imagine Tom Riddle's diary ruining even that most wonderful thing for her.

I felt kind of curious whether there was more to the ring than just Charlie being annoying that his baby sister was trying to get into his things. I kept expecting you to drop some additional bit of significance to it, but I guess a cigar is just a cigar here.

The ending was a perfect continuation of the character you set up the whole way. No coddling or rationalizing or telling her everything was going to be alright. Just his strong, constant, reassuring presence. He didn't tell her things were going to be alright, he showed her.

I noticed one thing that I think might be a typo as I was reading:

Yes, I understood that I had moped around a little far too much during our visit to Egypt. -- Not sure whether you mean to say "a little" or "far too much" or if this is some clever play on words that I'm just not clever enough to understand, but it stuck out at me.

Nice job! On to Percy...

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Review #4, by CambAngst Bill Weasley

24th July 2013:
OK, one more and then I really, really have to get back to work. ;)

This one was perfect to me. This is exactly how I've always imagined Bill and Ginny's relationship. He seems exactly like the type of older brother who would be super-protective of his "baby sister" and dote on her. And Ginny, being the youngest and probably somewhat starved for attention at times, would definitely eat it up.

Every reaction makes perfect sense. From the way that she was devastated when Bill left to work in Egypt to the way that she bottled that anger up inside and suddenly allowed it to explode during one of the most stressful moments of her life. But then they found one another again as they tried to come to grips with Fred's death and all was forgiven. On both sides, it seems.

I saw a couple of small typos -- at least I think they're typos -- in the second-to-last paragraph:

He still offers to carry heavy things if he sees me struggling, still offers to hex Harry if he is ever being a git and always checked up on more than anyone else when Harry was out on Auror missions, but I donít hate him for it. Rather, I love him for it. He is still the older brother that took care of me when I just a little girl, small enough to be blown away with a gush of wind, and I know it is just as big a part of him as the three freckles on the very tip of his nose. -- I think you meant to say, "... always checked up on me more than..." and possibly "... a gust of wind..."

Another awesome chapter! Seriously, such an under-appreciated story!

Author's Response: Sigh. Work. It always gets in the way, doesn't it? :P

You saying that this is "perfect" - you, just... how am I supposed to respond to that? I don't know what to say other than you're ridiculously kind and I can't stop smiling!

I'm glad that you liked my take on their relationship. It's also how I have always imagined their relationship to be!

It's funny. Siblings are strange in that respect. You love them so much, you're so close to them, but it's also so easy to be angry at them and just let it explode. But because they're your sibling, you know that they will still always love you, no matter what. I think that's a bit of what happened with Bill and Ginny in this.

Thanks for pointing out those typos! Typos will forever be the curse of me. I will edit them, I promise! I have a very long list of typos that have been pointed out to me across all my stories (some of them are, embarrassingly, years old) and I will get around to them one day, I swear!

Thanks so much for your kind words!

Jasmine :)


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Review #5, by CambAngst Arthur Weasley

24th July 2013:
Wow! That was not at all what I was expecting. I've read any number of takes on what changed in Ginny's life after she was possessed by Tom Riddle. This is far and away the most unique. Well, except for that one where she instantly falls in love with Draco Malfoy, but let's leave that aside. ;)

First off, I'm back! I couldn't resist checking that little "proceed to next chapter" box before I submitted my review for the first one.

I guess it's hard for me to completely agree with your take on Arthur's reaction, but that's not the point. You have a premise and you did something really interesting and compelling with it. I'm sure Ginny was immensely sorry for everything that happened when she opened the Chamber, but if she thought that her father blamed her for allowing Tom Riddle to gain control over her then that's a whole other level of regret.

I thought your opening idea was brilliant. I'm sure that Arthur was thrilled in a completely different way when he and Molly finally had a daughter. The idea made perfect sense and that very special connection that Ginny shared with her father, being the youngest of seven, must have meant the world to her. The way you set that revelation up and delivered it was beautifully done.

Then to lose that special twinkle -- or to feel as though you've lost it, at any rate -- must have been especially devastating. I can't even imagine how that must have wounded her!

HOW does this story not have more reviews??? I am seriously blown away that it could have gone unnoticed by so many! It's a fantastic piece of writing and you deserve a lot of credit and much more attention!

Author's Response: This is unique? Oh, wow. That is such a huge compliment. I have read a lot of stories from Ginny's point of view and I never really thought that this was anything special, more of "just another" story describing Ginny after her encounter with Tom Riddle.

I like that you don't agree with Arthur's reaction with this. It means that I challenged you and you're challenging me and that's always a good thing. Now that I think about it, I do understand what you mean. It is hard to think of the kind-hearted Arthur that we all know and love being even the slightest bit disappointed with Ginny. But, having said that, I'm glad that it didn't deter you from this.

I can't imagine it, either. I just know that having your parents being disappointed in you has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. Poor Ginny!

You really are too kind, you know that? When I first came up with this, I never kidded myself into thinking that it would be immensely popular. But I'm okay with that. I write for myself, I write so that the stories in my head are out in the world, and it's reviews like this that make it all worth it.

Thanks so much!

Jasmine :)


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Review #6, by CambAngst Prologue

24th July 2013:
Hi there! I saw your link and couldn't resist!

So I'm not entirely sure where this story is heading based on the description and the chapter titles, but I really like what I've read so far. You got so deep into Ginny and Molly's relationship. I think it would have been really difficult to write this if you weren't female. Not impossible, but really difficult. You did a great job of capturing the duality that she feels being a girl who grows up looking up to her six older brothers. Not trying to put words in your mouth, but it seems like she initially feels like her mother limits her while her brothers give her something to reach for. Then gradually, as she grows older, she begins to realize that what she got from her mother meant a lot more than just "girl chores" and awkward chats about how her body was changing. Molly gave her a very important part of her sense of self. The foundation of the woman and mother that she would become.

Your writing was really beautiful in this. Aside from the fact that I couldn't find a thing wrong with it -- no typos, spelling or grammar problems -- it all flowed really nicely. The chapter was paced really well and all of your descriptions were vivid and easy to picture. The narrator's voice really sounded like Ginny, that distinctive mix of irreverent and sentimental that I always think of with her.

I really loved the last section about the eyes being the windows to the soul. It was lovely and poignant and very true.

Great job!

Author's Response: Oh, wow, there you go. Apparently self promotion does work. I still can't believe that you clicked on the link - but thank you so much for doing so!

It's interesting that you say this would be hard to write if I were not female. I never really thought of it that way! But I suppose I see what you mean. And, no, you didn't put words in my mouth at all - what you described is exactly what I was hoping would come across!

Thank you so much for saying that you thought that I got Ginny's voice right. She's a tough character to write but she also comes very naturally to me, if that makes sense. I think I just found a voice and went with it and it fits the Ginny that I have in my mind, so it's always nice when someone tells me that they like her.

Thanks so much for this review!

Jasmine :)


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Review #7, by Melvin Percy Weasley

24th February 2013:
Please continue this. It is the best fanfiction I've read in a while! Thank you for sharing it.

Author's Response: Oh, wow, that is such an amazing compliment! I definitely do have plans to continue this. I've mapped out the future chapters and have a fair idea of what I want from them so updates should definitely be coming.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

Jasmine :)


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Review #8, by ValWitch21 Percy Weasley

24th February 2013:
The way you move through time with this story is done amazingly well, which isn't something seen in every fic.

I loved your portrayal of Percy. You steered clear from the 'Percy is a pompous idiot' stereotype, but also from the 'angst melodrama angst' portrayal that is seen just as often. I think this was one of my favourite chapters so far (I say this every time, don't I?), because I really felt like you took a difficult character, kept him in canon while making him your own, and made him realistic and broken and likeable.

Brilliant job!

Author's Response: It's interesting that you bring up time in this. As I was writing this chapter, I was thinking about how I have almost disregarded time while planning this. Because each chapter is focused on a character, the story as a whole will probably not be linear. Future chapters may well go back before the final battle. But I'm digressing. Thanks for saying that you thought the movement through time works! It is a relief since I sometimes feel like this story is a bit all over the place.

I adore Percy. I'm glad that you liked my portrayal of him in this! I agree that he does get the two stereotypes that you mentioned. But I wonder that if he was able to find love and have two children then we should never let that be taken away from him. He deserves to be happy and I wanted to give him that in this. I also think that he needs to be a bit more 'humanised' for want of a better word. I hope I did that in this.

Thank you so much for your review!
Jasmine :)


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Review #9, by ValWitch21 Charlie Weasley

16th February 2013:
Yes, I am reading this! Thank you, actually, for updating this story :)

So far, this was my favourite chapter. Charlie is usually an overlooked character, and you portrayed him brilliantly. I've always imagined him to be the gruffest, most seemingly-emotional-range-of-a-teaspoon Weasley brother, bluntly honest, yet actually very understanding and kind, so it's great to see my headcannon in someone else's writing!

Anyway. Beautiful chapter -- particularly because no one has ever bothered to mention the consequences of Ginny's first year, as if she had gone back to being bright and chirpy. This was my favourite quote:

But, as I had learnt all too well in the last year, the night time is very different to the daytime.

Dare I expect more of this soon?

Author's Response: Don't thank me for updating, thank yourself for letting me know that people out there are waiting for updates to this! It's easy to forget in the grand scheme of things and I needed that nudge from you. I took a screen-shot of it and I have looked it over the last few months and it's been gnawing in the back of my mind. So thank you for giving me the push to write. I have forgotten just how much I love writing this.

Your headcanon Charlie is my headcanon Charlie! That is exactly how I see him, too. And I tried to portray that the best that I could in this so I'm glad that the way I think of Charlie is the way you think of him! I adore his character so much and I agree that he is overlooked. He has a whole story in my head (if you're interested, I do have a ridiculously long one-shot on my author page) and I absolutely adore him.

I think Ginny's first year is overlooked. It's surprising because an eleven-year-old would never really be able to bounce back from it the way that Ginny did in both the books and fanfiction. I like the idea that it stays with her for the rest of her life because I think it makes her the strong character that I know and love.

Yay, a favourite quote! I think that type of thing resonates really true with me. I always find myself very introspective during the night because there is little to distract you from your thoughts.

You should expect more of this! I do definitely want to finish this story this year and there are so many more characters to explore. I can't say when because I am very busy at the moment, but I definitely am going to work hard on this.

Thanks so much for your review!

Jasmine :)


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Review #10, by teh tarik Prologue

20th October 2012:
Hello! I love the story. It's a beautifully written introspective piece with a great prologue so far. I love that it explores the mother-daughter relationship between Ginny and Molly. You add so much depth and detail to the characters and the relationship dynamics!

And there are some very lovely lines embedded in your prose as well. My favourite would be:

'There were seven of us, one for every day of the week. But Fred and George were born on the same day so we had an extra day of rest.'

Lovely! I was smiling so hard at those couple of sentences.

And I think you did well to build on that old cliche of 'eyes are the window to a person's soul'. The last couple of paragraphs were wonderful.

Anyway, I'll be reading the next chapters. I'm quite a slow reader so it'll take time...but they sound promising (I'm assuming the next chapters will focus on developing Ginny's relationships with various members of her family).

Great work! Keep it up.

Author's Response: This is the only chapter which will have the relationship between Ginny and a woman. I was thinking hard about all the people in Ginny's life and realised that the majority of them were men. And that is what I wanted to explore with this. But I couldn't pass up the chance to explore her relationship with Molly and that is where the prologue was born.

Thank you for saying you liked the prose! This type of writing is a bit different from what I normally do and it's nice that you liked it.

The next chapters do develop Ginny's relationship with other people in her life. There aren't many posted up at the moment, but I hope that will change soon!

Thank you so much for this review, it really brightened my day.
Jasmine.


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Review #11, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Prologue

3rd March 2012:
Hi there. Once again, you've demonstrated that you really know how to take a common occurrence, such as a mother-daughter relationship, and make it feel warm and new. This chapter caught the multiple sides both Ginny and Molly have: the energy, temper, adventurous trait, mothering quality, tenderness, and exasperation I've seen in both of them at various points in the books. You took all that on in a short chapter, and certainly got it across.

The details were by far what I liked best about this chapter, which makes sense, because in describing an everyday relationship the details you choose are what will make it extraordinary. The idea that one needs to match a knitting spell with the correct needle is brilliant, and you'd think that everyone would stumble across the the line "sooner fly on a broom than use it to sweep" all over hpff, yet I've never seen it before and it makes perfect sense. It takes talent to take an idea like that and make it seem both new and also so right you're surprised you've never encountered it.

At first I was disappointed that you were painting Molly to be the sort of mother that wants nothing more than to dress her daughter up and use her like a doll, but that evaporated quickly. I can definitely believe that thanks to Molly, Ginny already knew how to tickle the pear when she got to Hogwarts, and it speaks a lot about how Molly lived her life. And all that from one sentence! Amazing.

Another line I adored was this: "I can't help but think that it was the Weasley in him that made him leave but the Prewett part of him which brought him home." Wow :D It's a strong statement, and again, totally believable. There's no doubt that Weasleys have an issue coming back once they've left (Ron in DH, anyone?) and I can see that they'd get that from Molly. Arthur's a bit gentler, sweeter, perhaps easier to mislead, so it has to be Molly that brings that strength to bow your head and admit your wrongs.

I'll pause in my praise to point out this typo: "Molly Weasley either has eyes in the back of her head and can smell a lie a mile away." It looks like that "and" should be an "or," otherwise the "either" is unnecessary. ;)

Finally, as it went on I grew wary that you were focusing so much on Ginny and Molly's relationship, considering your summary indicates a story about the men in Ginny's life. But I should not have doubted you, because you transitioned perfectly into reading the eyes of the one you love, and I couldn't agree more. One could argue that you might want to hint at that earlier, and I'm sure you could, but it worked either way. Above all, you made this prologue work beautifully: it set up Ginny's background and how you want us to see her, yet it obviously ties in with the rest of the story, so we'll know where you're coming from. It's rare to see one of those.

I'll continue onto future chapters when I get a moment. I was not at all surprised that this was a well-written start to a story: it's why I dropped by your page in the first place.

Author's Response: Wow, you leave the most gorgeous reviews, you know that? I would expect such a detailed review if I requested one on the forums (if I was lucky), but to get one like this out of the blue is a real surprise. And a lovely one ,at that!

Thank you for saying that you liked the little details in this! Some of them were hard to come up with because we aren't really given a whole lot about the relationship between Ginny and Molly so I had to make a lot of guesses as to the things that they would have in common and the things they would disagree across. So for you to think that this worked well with the books is a huge compliment.

I don't think that Molly was simple a mother hen. Yes, that was a huge part of her but I think that we were only really shown her motherly concern because of the circumstances the books were written in. She had seven children and there was a war so of course she would have been worried and concerned about her family's safety. However, I think that there is more about her which is why I tried to show the other side of her with how she told Ginny about the pear. I'm glad you liked that!

I'm blushing at how much you liked the Weasley/Prewett sentence. I honestly didn't think it was anything really that special but the way you are going on about it would make anyone smile, so thank you!

Thank you for also pointing out that typo! I completely missed it and I will edit it in once I get around to editing. I'm horrible with editing (I still have typos to fix that were pointed out to me years ago in some of my other stories) but I promise I will get around to it!

The rest of this story will focus on the men in Ginny's life and I understand what you mean about me hinting about the eyes earlier and I will have a think about it! I think part of me wanted to make sure that, yes, I do have the eyes of people you love as a theme to the story but not make it glaringly obvious. I want it more as an undercurrent than an in-your-face theme so I was hesitant at putting too much in the prologue. I will think about what you have said, though!

Thank you so much for all your praise, this review really picked me up and put a huge smile on my face.

Joop.


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Review #12, by Secret Santa *hands you a candy cane* Prologue

24th December 2011:
This is your Secret Santa! Hey blue! :D I'm back again my friend!


Though they may try their best to hide, the ones who love you not only wear their hearts on their sleeves, they wear them in their eyes.

Oh wow, that line. It was beautiful, as always the entire piece was beautiful but what wisdom! You really took a different turn, I think, with this. It was interesting to show the bond between Ginny and Molly. Molly of course is the ideal mother and it's wonderful to show the admiration and respect that Ginny has for her. Her mother's teachings has clearly molded her into the person she is today which of course is not a bad thing.

You know it would be interesting to see if the boys actually agree with what Ginny thinks. Do they really not have this connection with their Mother? Because I feel like they were such a close knit family that they might but they are boys so they probably acted like they didn't just for the sake of it, you know?

I just can't get over your writing. I feel like with every one-shot I read or every story it just gets better and better from there. You're really able to tug at my heart strings and get into my mind so I'm thinking of things at a deeper level.

Author's Response: Wisdom, you say? That is such a compliment, considering the fact that I don't think I'm particularly full of wisdom, by any means. I do think that Molly is, though, and I tried my best to show that in this.

I loved writing the bond between Ginny and Molly and I'm glad that you liked it, too!

I think that the Weasley boys do definitely have a connection with their mum. Molly is an amazing mother and would definitely connect with all her children, but I think that the bond is different between the son and daughter. And there is, of course, the manly obligation to never admit just how close you are to your mother, haha.

That last thing you said is just... wow. I can only ever hope to really touch someone with my writing and when I actually manage to do it, I'm always in a bit of disbelief, but I'm always absolutely ecstatic and humbled.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Joop.


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Review #13, by Pacific Wizard Prologue

21st December 2011:
Blue: Awesome story and so full of wisdom. Molly is the quintessential mother and Ginny blossomed because of it. I like the narrative from Ginny's POV. It's engaging and moves along at a nice pace. You are a gifted story teller. Well done. PW

Author's Response: I have always adored Molly's character and this the first time I have really delved into her character. It means a lot that you described her as 'the quintessential mother' because I feel exactly the same way and tried very hard to make her that way!

It's a relief that you like Ginny's POV. This is the first story I have written in first person and Ginny was a surprisingly easy character to write. I was initially scared that there must be something off if I was able to engage with Ginny so easily, so it's nice that you thought it worked.

Your review has really renewed my confidence for this story, I can't wait to get started on the next part, so thank you so much!

Joop.


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Review #14, by weasley23 Prologue

11th December 2011:
I love this! Your story really portray's a deep bond between Ginny and her mother, and gives in sight to how the Weasley household was and what the Potter household will come to be. I like your details to give depth. Keep on writing! Please read/review mine:)

Author's Response: Thank you very much for saying that!

The next chapters are going go to focus more on the other people in Ginny's life, mainly all the men, but I thought of having the prologue with its focus on Molly. I enjoyed writing her bond with her mother and I'm glad that you thought it was strong!

I will definitely keep on writing, I am about a third of the way through the next chapter and hope to have it up very soon.

Thanks for your review!
Joop.


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