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Review #1, by Sjm Chapter 30: Intervening

14th April 2014:
I am so crazy about this fanfic
Never do I ever read a fan fic if it's incomplete however I stumbled across this one and fell

Sorry I havent reviewed before
I don't have an account so I didn't think I could

Keep up the good work :)

Author's Response: I'm so flattered! Thank you so much I hope to hear more of you :)

-Sarita x


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Review #2, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 17: Bombshell

7th April 2014:
Almost as thin as one of Chelsea Oxford's tiny shirts. Even in the depths of despair I can make myself laugh at her. God I hate her. I wish I could just take my pencil and drive it right through her thick skull and kill the one brain cell I can hear rattling around up there when she walks...

"Rose!?" Dom said, snapping me out of my psychopathic daydream.

"What?"

"You're holding your pencil like a sword and grinding your teeth like an old sheep." Dom said conversationally.

I love your writing and your characterisation and the humour in adversity you manage to convey.

The scans coming up, good a crucial plot point. James and Sarah were obviously always going to go but the inclusion of Scorpius is great. It should be a little nod to Scorpius about the status of the baby's paternity, but I'm sure it is too subtle for him (or maybe he just doesn't dare to hope). He is just glad that he can be there for the girl he loves. The pack always stands by it's own

Amy and Chelsea. Both are being bitchy but there are some reasons. Chelsea because she is but Amy has some more confusing issues. She still keeps getting under Sarah's skin which is a big mistake - it is not going to endear her to James, or the group and will just hurt herself in the long run.

"Oooh. Touchy subject is it?" Chelsea asked, eyebrows raised and looking at Amy like she'd struck gold.
Hmm, skirting too close to the truth.

"I will get you out of Scorpius' life for good, you bi___. His money is mine now. And if I manage to get any dirt on you, Weasley, rest assured that I will use it to break you." Chelsea hissed in my ear in a quiet, deadly voice.
OK, here we have Chelsea's true motivations - money. She truly is a money-grubbing wh___. From her comment though, she knows that Rose means something to Scorpius - she wants to get her out of his life. So part of her motivation is nastiness towards Rose; it is actually personal to Chelsea. We don't know if she has any feelings at all for Scorpius (beyond a desire for his money) but we know she hates Rose.

In St Mungos.

'Sarah smiled encouragingly at me, taking the baby from James without looking and putting it on the table.' It's this sort of naturalness around each other that gives one the greatest hope that the two will eventually come back together.

You can slip in some very important dialogue into the most unlikely of places - there are some very pertinent things said whilst waiting for the scan.
Scorpius asks again about the father - only contempt for whoever it is because they are not there. This and his reaction to seeing the fetus are good signs for Rose that his paternity of her child will be a serious, desirous thing for him. She doesn't really have the mental space to process the subtleties at the moment particularly when she sees her unborn child for the first time.
It's good that Sarah comments upon Scorpius and his, bad, relationship with Chelsea. Her and his comments are enlightening and would have gone further but they are interrupted by the baby scan.

And there is a good bit of characterisation to round out the end of the chapter - Sarah/James, Rose being close to the limit, etc and ...

Lilly.

Ok it's good she knows but now the secret has slipped beyond the boundaries of the pack. Even though it hasn't traveled very far - Hugo and Lilly could almost be considered 'pack-lite' especially with the revelations of latter chapters. But the secret is becoming less secret and it really scares Rose because it brings it back to her that it is a secret that cannot be kept quiet forever.

The stalwart knight of the Rose.

Author's Response: The pack will always make sure Scorpius is included, as subtly as they can.

Amy does keep trying to take on the alpha female, and in doing so enrages the female members of the pack. She is not going about anything the right way.

Chelsea however is going about it the right way - she picks a fight with Rose, who is more inclined to keep it to herself.

Rose is missing the subtleties at the moment as you've said. James scowling at Scorpius' snide remark says more than any words. Scorpius is fighting feelings of hatred for the supposed 'other man' while James is protecting his beta female. Sarah quickly jumps in to prevent anymore awkwardness.

Lily and Hugo are definitely "pack lite" haha what a brilliant way to put it. Regardless, Rose is panicking quite a lot through the secret leaking out.

Thanks as ever for the review.

-Sarita x


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Review #3, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 16: Dear Matron

1st April 2014:
"Ah I knew I wasn't a good actor. I keep trying to stop feeling this way about her but I just don't want to and it's really hard-"

"Yeah we know just how hard it is, Jay. The other day when you were wearing tight jeans and Sarah brushed a leaf off your jacket it really didn't leave anything to the imagination for us." Becky interrupted calmly. Dom laughed. The two of them seemed to have come up to us very quietly.

I like how you use Dom and Becky. They are almost background characters, or should I say that they are secondary characters whose story happens almost in the background. How you use them here though is in the classic sense of comic relief. Like the comicals Shakespeare employs (such as in Much Ado About Nothing or the gravedigger scene in Hamlet). They traipse on into a scene, say something witty - diffusing the tension - then can say something poignant or to the point - to throw the focus straight back onto the protagonists. Such as her later remark -
"Oh yeah, because a damp dark tunnel is every girl's dream." Becky said sarcastically.

From Rose - 'Everywhere I looked it seemed it wasn't just me who was lying, either to themselves or to everyone else.' A fairly accurate summation of the story so far ;)

Rose does the math and realises something is off. James admits she's correct and tells her about the ending of their relationship. She knows the end end, but the lead-up where Sarah supposedly falls out of love with James she does not. So it would appear that Sarah fell out of love with James and had to end it. Hmm, I cannot talk more about this here without massive spoilers, I'll talk more about it in a later review.

We have a nice glimpse into pre-pregnancy Rose. Such a help-mate to everyone - she is in so many ways the glue that binds the pack together. She comforts Sarah without judging even though Sarah tells her she is to blame for the break up - "I had to do it." She squeaked. But her main concern is the comfort of James and here we see how important Rose is, her strength and intelligence. He can let down any macho barriers around Rose and let her see him for what he is.

Rose (about Scorpius)- 'I knew he was still pissed off about the kiss, but as far as I'm concerned nothing happened.' OK, you really were oblivious to what he meant by the kiss - oh well, guess we'll just have to read more story before you fully comprehend his and your feelings (as if that's a hardship having to read more of this excellent story).

Rose has helped the pack and now it is time for the pack to help her. They almost have to drag her along to get her first scan. It's like she was pretending that it wasn't really happening if there wasn't official proof? I think this is exactly what she was thinking.

The exchanges between the pack members going to the scan are great - just the right amount of comedy, very enjoyable. James realises his role perfectly - Rose doesn't need a leader now making it all seem too serious, what she needs is to lighten her burden, and James does this perfectly. Albus is serious enough for them all and James lets him take charge (it's a great, subtle bit of older-brother-empowering-younger-brother). James does become serious when he has to though how long he can stay serious ("Nah. Been busy poking alligators in the eye and setting fire to sloths, you know how it is.") is anyone's guess.

So an adult finally knows.
It's good to see that Madam Pomfrey has finally retired. But I would have thought that the headmaster/headmistress would have had to be informed of the pregnancy. It's a different take on the situation than other stories but I can understand the logic and more importantly the story logic behind your decision not to have the head involved yet. Especially what she has to do once she does find out in a later chapter.

Sarah, James and Scorpius will all be with her. Scorpius holds her hand giving her all the support he can.

Welcome distractions have prevented Castle Rose bowing under the weight of her burden ...
when he is needed though, the Knight of the Rose will always stand by her.

Author's Response: Thanks, I try to make Dom and Becky significant but not invasive. They are always there, but not always lending any real depth to the story, until another character bounces off them.

Rose doing the maths and figuring out James heartbreak is important here, but for the sake of spoilers, I think it's best not to touch upon it. I do look forward to the point where you do get into it though!

Rose is pushed out of her denial by the pack. There was no scan = there was no reality, you are dead right. But she gets hit in the face with the reality, and it comes as another blow to her. James passes on an opportunity to be a leader and instead acts as a cousin and friend... I wanted to emphasise that his position in the pack is so strong that he can pass his torch to Albus for a while and just be one of the guys before snapping back into his position.

The Knight of the Rose can swallow his feelings for a while. Castle Rose needs strength and he cannot deny her anything.


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Review #4, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 30: Intervening

30th March 2014:
On the day I finish my projects (a crocheted Dalek, Tardis and Doctor - check) a handful of my favourite fics update. Hooray! It's like a sign.
I just have to comment upon this chapter before I go back and do more of the old ones. So on we go.

After the tumultuous events of the last chapter, we need a breather so, thankfully, Sarita provides us with a kinder, fluffier gentler one.

Scorpius is not talking to Rose.
That's not right, its wrong. Scorpius should be at least happy if not overjoyed - the love of his life is bearing his child. I know she didn't tell him, but she didn't lie either. If he'd only not been so gutless and asked her straight out this drama (his paternity and probably most of the story) would have been over by chapter 12.

Being abandoned by Scorpius Rose goes alone to the scan. Again this is very wrong. Scorpius and/or James and/or Sarah has been with her through everything up until now. Somebody should have gone with her, but there was no one - no friends, no family, and no father/partner.
This is the point of course. At this point in time Rose has reached her nadir - there nowhere further down she can go. Scorpius hasn't talked to her for weeks; the whole world knows; she dreads her father's reaction; adrift and seemingly friendless she goes to the scan alone. It is telling that Ginny is the first to see her out of all the adults in her family and not her mother.
And yet she's not so upset as she has been in the past. We are witnessing Rose becoming stronger.

Oh I get it now. Scorpius had his head so full of emotions and thoughts he couldn't talk to Rose, he wasn't abandoning her. I'm reminded of the last chapter where he complains that he had to tell his parents with only a few hours of mental preparation. I forgive you Sarita, it actually makes perfect sense.

And he only starts to talk to Rose because of Chelsea.
Ah Chelsea, what a wonderful foil, such a useful villain. She does nearly exactly what is required of her every time.

A heartfelt apology from Rose that finally ... FINALLY! ... is the honest truth said (out loud) in front of Scorpius. Scorpius consoles her (poorly) but her true fears bubble to the surface, "... it shouldn't have happened?"
Scorpius replies "I'm glad it happened." "just because it was an accident doesn't mean it was a mistake," beautifully put, lovely stuff with a promise that things will improve.

Dom's absence explained - good for her she has a guy.

Made peace with Freddy, good and that's probably a full stop to the Freddy/Rose situation. Freddy will still be around, he's on the team of course, but that's it as far as Rose is concerned (unless something untoward and drastic happens). She is at peace with him and he's at peace with loosing Rose(as good as he can possibly be with loosing one of the best things to ever happen to him that is).

Rose and Scorpius hold hands. Yay!

And then along comes Astoria.
Help? From such an unlikely source? (at least for Rose that is). The whole Astoria scene is great. It is exactly how I think Astoria would be. She is the first of the Parents (grandparents to be) to embrace the future and hence embrace Rose.
Astoria is happy. Her son is going to be a father; there is a grandchild on the way. That some girl could love her son is a vindication of her dreams and efforts on the behalf of her family. I believe Astoria would have had a, if not difficult time, then at least a challenging one with Draco. Draco was always going to have a hard time putting his past behind him. Wanting/hoping to have his son shed the negative associations of his family name. I believe Astoria knows how Scorpius feels about Rose. So to her this situation is wonderful. It's a bit earlier than she would have wished and the circumstances could have been a lot better, but what she sees is a beloved son happy with the girl of his dreams and the promise of one grandchild on the way if not more to come. This is exactly how I imagined and wanted an Astoria of one of these Pregnant-Rose-stories to react.

Rose accepts Astoria's attentions in the spirit in which they were meant. One Grandparent on side, three more to go.

The intervention.

It's a bit of fluffy nonsense and a little bit too much ... too much. I understand it's purpose though - it's another grounding of the pack.

The spark that starts it off is Sarah being mobbed by boys. I thought it was a bit too forced until I remembered her Veela-ness. This is it isn't it? She sometimes forgets/is not aware of her allure. She stretches, she smiles, she says something inflammatory - Bang, they are onto her like snakes onto a hot rock.

And Becky snaps, but in the nicest way , by defending Sarah. A perfect fit with her nature, well done.

I'm not sure how much I liked the physical stagyness of the 'intervention' (especially Scorpius' part), but it is another nod to their animal natures. Words are not enough, they must show the animus of their natures to the pack. And it works, Becky is put back onto the right path. Sure of her welcome in the pack and, more importantly, some members of the pack *cough especially Albus cough* are reminded of her importance to the pack.

It also shows the strength of Rose. With all that's happened/happening to her she still has so much time for her friends. She truly is the driving force behind the pack. She has reached the bottom, there is nowhere to go but up especially with Scorpius at her side. Yes there will be trials (talking with Scorpius), some hurdles (Ron and her schooling) and even some potential pitfalls (the actual birth) we know now she has the strength to come through it all.

The Knight of the Rose wanders the wasteland in disarray.
Castle Rose cries out to him in her distress - he knows now there is a path back ...
will he be able to shoulder his duties?

Author's Response: Firstly, well done on your crocheting.

Secondly, oh how I have missed your reviews!

The story definitely could have been cut down to less than the 44 chapters, as it stands now. I believe I have finished it! I wanted to write a long fic to prove to myself I could do it, but in doing so I believe I lost half my readers along the way with too many side-plots, endless frustration and twists. Silly Sarita!

I wanted to make Rose's progression to an adult quite an upward curve here. She goes to her scan alone 'out of choice' - I quote that because I tried to impress upon the reader the decision to become stronger - she has an endless supply of friends and family and decided to go alone. However, it is not just out of strength that she goes alone. Rose is punishing herself in a warped way for (although not outright lying) being dishonest to Scorpius. She cannot bear the idea that somewhere inside her lives a coward and that part of her had control for the last few months.She throws herself into her usual life with courage this time. I don't know how well I actually managed to put that across!

Chelsea pops up just when I need her. A villain truly is a perfect tool for the reaction of other characters.

Rose finally lays it al out for Scorpius and apologises, and in doing so she takes away any anger he may have still harboured, and his true feelings being to rise to the surface. He can see no earthly reason any more why the two of them should be apart.

I had to add Freddie in. He is a loose end I could not bear to go untied. He needed a happy ending as he really was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It was so important to me to get Astoria right. She needed to be strong and capable and independent, as well as understanding and kind and warm. She understands her son, really understands him, and in doing so, she understands Rose. She sees echoes of herself in this girl - a scared pregnant young woman who feels alone. She also recognises the love these two teens have for one another - they are willing but not always able; keen but insecure and above all, sure but definitely scared.

It is always about the pack. It always comes back to the pack, because when one falls, they are weakened as a collective. Rose was supported when she needed it, and needs to give it back to Becky, who is a bit of a lone wolf at times.

Yes, Sarah is, in the nicest possible way, a Veela mongrel. She is not stick thin, has jet black hair instead of silvery blonde and is unaware of her charms. She is the outlying factor, the runt of the litter of otherwise Pedigree creatures. I thought this was important to her development as a character - she is impervious to the attention of men, although those around her cannot escape it. Her whole being is intimidating, throwing off all but the most determined who wish to be close to her. It is another way of me trying to show Rose's ability to befriend those who need it, and another way to show James' tenacity in the face of adversity.

I knew the actual intervention would be hit or miss. But the chapter needed to let in some light on the dark situation and this was the only way which incorporated all the themes. Dom's insight into her friend is important - she understands Becky but deliberately does not get involved until needed.

Above all, this chapter was the strength of Rose, her future family (Astoria) her friends and their bond.

The Knight is disorientated by the bombshell that has thrown him from his post, but is shown the way back home with the calls of his love. Castle Rose has strong defences, but her foundation will crumble without her protector.


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Review #5, by Lina Chapter 30: Intervening

29th March 2014:
No it was to short :(

Author's Response: Sorry! More updates soon.

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Review #6, by ScoroseOTP Chapter 30: Intervening

28th March 2014:
YAY! You updated!
Poor Rose! Her emotions are all over the place! I love that everyone's all there for her. I really do.
I was a tad disappointed Scorpius didn't talk to her for a while, but so glad he said it wasn't a mistake. That made me smile!
I'm glad Freddie and Rose worked it out.
Astoria is gorgeous! I love her! This could be interesting having her in at the next scan but she is so sweet and she cares so much about her family. And her son which makes may heart swell.
Have I mentioned how much I love Sarah. Because I do. A lot. She's hilarious. And honestly. I know Sarcasm is lost on boys... most of them anyway!
I love how blunt Dom is though! So great!
An intervention! What a fantastic idea! And it worked?! I love how typical their insecuritys are and how much they love each other despite all of this and all the rubbish that is going on!
Of course Astoria is right! She seems like an intelligent woman!
Another great chapter! Keep them coming!
ScoroseOTP xxx

Author's Response: Yay, I sure did :)

Scorpius needed time to process everything, and he thankfully came to the conclusion that his feelings for Rose hadn't changed.

I really tried to make Astoria a mother figure to Scorpius as well as Rose, who she supports recognising her fear and pain.

Hahahaha I'm so glad you love Sarah, she is a fun character to play with when it comes to boys! Dom's bluntness is a real strong point for her- she never minces her words!

Awww thank you so much I'm glad you found the intervention as fun to read as it was for me to write!

Thank you as ever for your continued support, I really appreciate it! :)

-Sarita xxx


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Review #7, by potterfan310 Chapter 30: Intervening

28th March 2014:
Hi, Hi, Hi!!

I am very excited right, if you haven't of guessed, either that or I'm just cold :p

I love that Astoria wants to meet up with Rose and so far I love how you've characterised her as a kind, caring, loving person rather than some frosty, evil person.

Dom dating, well that's new! Is there where Dom was/with when everything kicked off?

Scorpius standing up to Chelsea = happy me. Good on him and poor Rosie for having to deal with her. Although did you mean Amy as you said Chelsea got suspended? Either way I'm happy he stood up for Rose.

Pfft, haha. Go Sarah, lol. Teenage boys, so predicable. Love the way she went about it.

One thing - try writing the numbers instead of putting the number.

Aww, Rose is certainly lucky to have them all. I have conflicted feelings about Scorpius right now, on one hand he does need to think about everything but on the other I want him and Rose together!!

Feels everywhere!!

Can't wait for the next chapter.

*Squishy hugs*

- Potterfan310

Soph xx

Author's Response: Hi hi hi!

I like to make Astoria friendly and warm... Draco changed after the war and grew up and I wanted his choice in a mate to support that :)

Yes, that is where Dom was when everything kicked off, the one time she decides to date and it all kicks off!

Chelsea got suspended and maybe I didn't make it clear for how long, although three weeks have passed by the time the second paragraph rolls around. Sorry for the confusion!

Oh yes, teenage boys and their hormones, almost as important to the story as the teenage girls and their hormones!

I keep forgetting to write the numbers out fully. it's such a bad habit!

Scorpius is a conflicted character right now... his feelings are there, but so is the feeling of betrayal and hurt.

SO MANY FEELS.

*Squishy hugs right back*

-Sarita :) xxx


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Review #8, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 15: What Hurts The Most

16th March 2014:
It's telling isn't it that it's always Scorpius-centric dreams?

Sarah ...
doesn't know what to think.

She starts to get pulled out of her funk by Rose and James. Mostly by James but not due to James' intent but as a reaction against the things he's saying. He is forcing her into defensive mode where she is obliged to defend her current boyfriend.
Yeah, real smooth James; make the girl defensive and now embarrassed, that'l really bring her around. Then you push it even further still and force her over the line into outright anger.

Becky/Rich only get a sentence and not even in each chapter, but it is enough. The decline of their relationship and the burgeoning of Becky + (spoilers) is wonderfully subtle stuff. We don't need the blow-by-blow, a little bit here and there is enough to know she's over it and he's oblivious.

Danny appears and acts like a real 'bloke' bragging about his conquest of the previous night. Good characterisation, even though James is doing the wrong thing, Danny telling the whole group about sex with Sarah makes him far less sympathetic in our eyes (and Rich too for his reaction). These men are not really worthy of whom their with.

We switch to James' POV; good, we need to see a little from his perspective. We couldn't the night before, it would have been too visceral. Now that he's calmed down we need to know his thoughts. We already know his feelings - they are obvious - but we need to find out what conclusions he's drawn, what decision he's taking. Especially when he runs across Sarah again.

Sarah : "You're acting weird."

Oh oh.

After James asks "Do you miss me?"

Sarah : "What do you mean, Jay?"

*indrawn breath* oh dear me. These are all bad signs for James but she finishes it off with a corker.

Sarah : "Oh James, you do know how to cheer me up." and "I bet you make Amy really happy."

Poor James, I don't know if he truly gets what just happened to him. He knows that he is worse off than he was the night before.

We suddenly know what Sarah has been thinking. Being with James still means a lot to her but now she's with Danny. By hanging onto the good feelings associated with the past (James) is she somehow being unfaithful to Danny? By being with Danny is she betraying the great times she had with James?
Very conflicted.
Until James tries it on again. In talking with James she sees nothing underhanded in his behavior. He has her best intentions to heart and is just trying to cheer her up. 'Good on you James' she thinks, 'what a good friend you are to me'. Because to interpret his behavior in any other way could only make him appear to be a massively jealous douche. It is not just the cluelessness that your characters have towards their significant others raising it's head again. No, if she saw what his actions really were, she would be disgusted. This is especially true, and heartrendingly poignant, when you later reveal the reasons why they broke up.

Instead she construes the best possible interpretation of his actions and the result casts James firmly back into the friend zone. She can now happily close the door on the past.

I say again, poor James.

Quiet for a time is Castle Rose,
there is trouble raging in a neighbouring kingdom.


PS. I may have to halt the reviews for a bit as I have to finish crocheting a Dalek, two Doctors and a Tardis in the next two weeks.

Author's Response: Oh no, Rose cannot run away from her subconscious.

Yes, James and Sarah. In pushing her into defensive territory she implies (in James' mind at least) that Danny is better for her than he is... in more ways than one. In James' mind the most significant problem is her ignorance to his feelings and her physical relationship with another man. As an alpha he is undermined as his alpha female has somehow found an Alpha Plus... Danny is somehow higher on the food chain than he is... which confuses him also, and he will not stop beating himself up over the past.

Becky and Rich only have a background commentary, but it is placed with absolute care... I couldn't let it be said that the signs of their ending relationship weren't there... they were!

Danny (and Rich's) reaction to the events of the previous night are very telling. Rose is disgusted, Becky is furious... James even more so.

Yes, the POV of James was important. The feelings were apparent but the thoughts running through his head were not. Sarah's appearance just confuses and upsets him more... but her proximity elates him.

You have hit Sarah's conflict perfectly. I tried to make James' pain obvious and sympathy-evoking but as time goes by we realise the full scale of Sarah's suffering in a side-blow to the head and hopefully realise that they are both victims of each other.

I am glad to see your thoughts written out so beautifully on how Sarah would react to James' true intentions... the truth is that she is hiding his intentions from herself. James hurt her so badly that it is easier for her to think he is trying to cheer her up than allow herself to believe he still loves her. Remembering this piece of information is hugely important to understanding their relationship... and Scorpius/Rose's at times too. As you said, Sarah compartmentalises James' feelings in a little box and ignores them steadfastly. I don't know whether she would be disgusted with James for his jealousy and overprotection... I'd say she'd be eventually happy to realise his feelings (as Scorpius is when HE finally learns the truth.)

You can tell I'm a huge fan of echoing other characters in each other, can't you? :P

Castle Rose watches and waits for calmer times... and her Knight watches her just as constantly.

P.S. No worries, I'm just glad you've not given up reviewing... I LOVE THEM.

Thank you, as ever.

-Sarita x


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Review #9, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 14: Confusion

11th March 2014:
Rose is saved from thinking by having to puke. She even brushes Freddy off. Her immediate reaction after the kiss was to run and she's still running.

She pauses, maybe she'll stop to think ... no, because another part of your little drama unfolds, distracting Rose further.

Sarah and James

Sarah and Danny

I'm glad we didn't switch to James' point of view. We needed that slight distancing of understanding that comes from someone witnessing his emotions from outside - one step removed. James' emotions go way up only to crash back down, then speed one way, screech to a halt, reverse back up ... we shouldn't see this from the immediacy of his POV.

Dom and Becky scamper, they will leave it to the higher ups in the pack. Using the pack analogy for the whole story is such an insightful device, it provides such a beautiful way to pick meaning from the story. Dom and Becky reveal a fresh kill, but they will leave the alphas and betas of the pack to fight over the carcass. They will slink back to pick over the remains once things have calmed down.

The pack analogy also helps us to understand the relationship between Sarah and James. James loves her from both aspects - as her pack alpha male and as a person. Sarah doesn't which causes the problem in the love triangle. Her affections as a person have moved on from James to Danny. But her pack loyalty (even love) is still firmly with James. Danny doesn't really understand the pack, hence his problems. James is getting mixed signals - she loves me she doesn't love me - hence his problems (being an obtuse boy doesn't help).

James is a bit of an emotional coward sometimes - he doesn't face up to the consequences of his emotional actions enough.
It breaks his heart to see her with someone else, he turns away before she can see but she pulls him back and witnesses it. 'What am I seeing?' - she didn't/doesn't actually know. Then he kisses her and he's happy he's done it because, "My ball is in her court now." He said. "She knows how I feel."
James, how emotionally disfunctional can you be? She knows nothing of the sort, she only has glimmerings of an idea.

Rose is exasperated with him and rightfully so. She knows full well where the kiss came from - the months of unrequited love followed by this roller-coaster of an evening. And she also knows what James meant by it too, but cannot convince him that Sarah hasn't fully understood the full import of the kiss.

Hey wait a sec Rose, you know perfectly well what that boy meant when he kissed that girl? Back up a chapter and apply it to yourself. She looks around in confusion not knowing what we mean. AAARRGGHH - every character is so clueless about the people and emotions that should be the most important to them.
Rose says of Sarah "And secondly, you just kissed her - that means nothing! She has no bloody clue how you still feel!" - that goes for you too sister!

From your comments to my last review, I hadn't really spelt it out so clearly to myself - the James v Scorpius juxtaposition. James tries too hard to get the woman he loves whereas Scorpius doesn't try hard enough.

The Knight of the Rose's advances are rebuffed?
Castle Rose has no time for him as other crises must be averted.

Author's Response: Seeing things unravel from James' point of view would have been too much too fast. Even looking at it from the outside is confusing enough. He wants her back... he wants the past and present to not have happened/not be happening. Exactly as Scorpius does. Despite Albus being James' brother, Scorpius is James' beta male. He has such parallels to Scorpius that it could never be Albus, who has never experienced love of the kind that his brother and best friend have. Despite James' ill concealed irrational anger at Scorpius for getting Rose into the situation she's in, they have a common ground in both Sarah and Rose. While Rose gives James advice and guidance, we find out that years before this fic there was a similar situation between two other characters. Sorry to tease with a spoiler!

We also later find out the true depth of Sarah's feelings for James as a person and the reasons for her continuing affection. We don't get much of a glimpse of her feelings until much later, but they make this part of the story incredibly poignant.

Perhaps a distracted Rose is subconsciously being deliberately dull to her situation and the kiss.

These kids, eh?

The advances of The Knight of the Rose have been noted and put to one side. Castle Rose must divert her attention to Fort Sarah and her defender - The Alpha Knight. In doing so, she must try to distract her own Knight as well.


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Review #10, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 13: Forgiveness

10th March 2014:
Phew! back from reviewing the latest chapter (as of this posting Chapter 29). I had to skip forward to it because something GREAT HAPPENS in it - read on fair viewers, read on.

So back to reviewing in order and to this chapter, which is a bit of a pause-and-catch-your-breath type of chapter; quite necessary to let information sink in and allow the reader to digest what is happening.

Some nice happy scenes with most of the pack, with one glaring omission. Most the pack KNOW (or have worked it out) but they respect Rose's wishes and promise not to tell Scorpius.
Dom's reactions last chapter and her apology in this one are the first times we really start to connect with Dom. We start to see her character a little better and hopefully she will improve with time.

A few good digs in against Chelsea are always appreciated. "Ha-ha! Like the dog she is!" Ha! Being in Australia we use both meanings of fags (though we use the term more to label cigarettes than gay men) which can lead to some amusing misunderstandings.

Rose reaches out and reconnects with Scorpius. She needs that emotional center now more than ever (the other elements are in harmony but she needs the heart back). Scorpius is put on the spot "Can't you just... be there for me?". At least he does have enough sense/presence of mind to a_sure (cannot type in a s s !?) Rose he will be there for her until the bitter end.
When forced; when Rose summons up the pluck to straight out ask Scorpius how he feels ...
it was a good idea to switch the POV to Scorpius.

How can he put all his feelings into mere words. As much as he's feeling for her, he's got Chelsea hanging around like lint and Freddie hanging around Rose. Even worse, Freddie who Scorpius fears is more than likely the father. Scorpius' basic honor and decency will not let him intrude where he thinks he doesn't belong, if it is Freddie's baby ...

Rose keeps pushing him, "How do you feel about me? I need to know."
if he answered her properly she would have told him then and there. It is what holds her back from telling him when all the rest of the pack know. He is the one she could stand to lose the least because of her feelings for him and that he is actually the father.

It all gets too much, and like the adolescent he is, he kisses the girl. He hopes physicality will communicate more efficiently/effectively than him stumbling over words will. Rose feels sick at just the wrong time - *sigh* the path of true romance never runs smooth.

The Knight of the Rose is sought out,
Castle rose cannot lose it's protector.

Author's Response: Yes, Dom is usually seen as an airhead/brat and I tried to put that over onto the readers at first, with her softening up and maturing without anyone really noticing until (like you,) they re-read it.

Rose, in a rare moment of courage and sheer frustration, reaches out and emotionally grabs Scorpius by the lapels, giving him a serious shake.

Scorpius, as you've said, cannot bring himself to push his way in where he feels is not wanted - again I wanted a parallel to James who IS pushing quite strongly to Sarah to ensure she does not forget him. As an alpha this is his perogative, but Scorpius cannot get away with the same behaviour, and has to sit by. Like true animals with prey, the alpha male eats first and the others sit around until he is finished with the kill. Scorpius sees Rose as Freddie's - through her own choice, which hurts more.

Rose's thinking is much more human... she is not the property of anyone and refuses to have her decisions made for her. If she knew the way Scorpius felt about her - that Freddie had somehow 'claimed' her - she would definitely not be happy and would almost certainly break her bonds with Freddie to prove her independence.

You have hit the nail on the head - if he told her his feelings then and there she would have broken things off with Freddie, told him the truth and this whole thing could have been condensed down. I didn't want to do that - I wanted there to be more odds to fight against to prove that Rose, despite the vulnerable-pregnant persona, has some real steel inside her. I have had a lot of fun in later chapters (currently unpublished) with them voicing some regrets and actually getting to know each other without the fear of any rejection.

Rambling I know, but I loved your review.

Castle Rose, afraid of losing it's defender, lowers the drawbridge and the Knight of the Rose charges at the gate in pure delight that he is finally granted entry, albeit small.


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Review #11, by Lj Chapter 29: Facing Feelings

9th March 2014:
Omg yay I've been waiting for this for ages

So good
Although I would have expected Ron to jump Scorp the minute he walkd through the doors

Author's Response: Thanks!

I couldn't have Ron jump Scorpius - the gruesome death of Scorpius would definitely have cut the story short :P

Hope to hear from you again soon,

-Sarita x


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Review #12, by WVGirl Chapter 29: Facing Feelings

7th March 2014:
Hi, New here but enjoying this story! Looking forward to reading more!

Author's Response: Thank you very much, I love hearing from people, I hope to see more of you :)

-Sarita x


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Review #13, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 29: Facing Feelings

6th March 2014:
This is the chapter I have been waiting for. While doing so I decided to go back and review each chapter in turn. I was glad to do so because further re-reading has only strengthened my love for this story - prompting me to post reviews that were the best I could make them. At the time of this posting I am only a third of the way through.

This is the chapter I have been waiting for since a little bird told me in the authors notes of what was to be revealed in chapter 29. I got the numbering wrong, thinking #29 was going to be chapter 29, causing a lot of hair-pulling.

This is the chapter we all have been waiting for since the revelation of the pregnancy. The chapter wherein the father-to-be is told that the baby is his. Rose finally tells Scorpius.

This is the chapter I'm having having difficulty typing because I have to do so one-handed. My other hand is clutching my head to stop it from exploding.

The chapter opens innocently enough - as innocently as it can after that biatch Chelsea dropped the bomb for the whole world to see. The Rose/Scorpius relationship has been travelling along so well recently. The Kiss at New Years; the lovely little banter here. Scorpius' humor inittally takes a bit of the sting out of how dire everything is ... a little bit ... for a short time ... until ...

Scorpius asks the Question.

and Rose answers.

to quote pottterfan310 'asdfghjkl;'

He throws it all back at Rose, 'Why didn't you tell me? ...', well perhaps she thought you might react just like this. He externalizes his anger at what his actions have led to. Poor Rose takes it all onto herself "I'm so selfish ...", um no Rose you're not.
Why didn't she tell you? because she cares about you, loves you. If it had been anyone else (even Freddie) she would have told them straight away because she wouldn't have given two sh...ts if they had shot through. You Scorpius and her mum and dad, the ones she loves the most, she has been too afraid to tell because you have the power to truly hurt her if you abandon her.
"You let me come to the scan ... you let me see it ... you made a decision to keep it without consulting me first ... without respecting me enough to ask my opinion!" um, actually I think she has involved you in most of the stuff to do with the pregnancy for most of the time. All these things are good things and he knows it but they are just bubbling to the surface with the rest of his anger - he is too close to it, he cannot see the bigger (happier) picture yet.
The one thing and the one thing only he should be upset about is the fact that everyone else in the pack knew he was the father before he did. The knowledge of this snaps him and he has to leave her presence.

Chelsea.
We all knew she was vindictive, underhanded, smug, venomous - the whole tableau that Scorpius realises when she confronts him with her actions. But I didn't realise she was also so stupid; she basically cuts off her nose to spite her face. It was only a short while ago she was telling Rose she had her hooks into Scorpius' money and wouldn't let go. She clearly only wants Scorpius for his money, name and prestige (does she even like him at all?). It shows her as the perfect counterpoint to Rose, as Rose doesn't care about anything else except Scorpius himself. So Chelsea has acted so spitefully even though she knows doing so will drive Scorpius away irrevocably; laughing madly all the way! What a fool.

Amy though, she knows she's done wrong. She knows she may have stepped over a line, but she's been forced into a position of desperation by the weakness of James. We still feel a little bit sorry for her. Especially when we know that her part in this affair will come to light, not in the least because Chelsea is the sort to throw somebody under the bus before herself.


The Parents arrive and their reactions are pretty much as expected. A nice touch having Draco take him home - Draco would not wish to air his dirty laundry in public anymore than he had to. Ron is angry, of course, but less so when he finds out it is not Freddie's baby. He's more shocked than angry when Scorpius is revealed to be the dad. The beautifully handled interaction between Hermione and Draco shows that there is hope for the future - I don't think Rose and Scorpius will find themselves on the street disowned by all.
Astoria I could kiss you. I agree with potterfan310, she ships Rose and Scorpius so hard. She has always been more of the confidant of Scorpius than his father. She would always have been far more in-tune with Scorpius' hopes/dreams/loves/etc. I believe out of all the parents she would know of Scorpius' feelings for Rose.
I know it's selfish of me, but I would have liked to have seen in the Parents-get-the-news scene:- Draco and Scorpius precede her through the fire. Pausing at the grate, she quickly turns and moves back to Rose. Placing one hand on her shoulder she cups Rose's cheek/face with the other hand. She'd look into Rose's eyes and give her a kiss on the forehead before rushing back to the fire. *sigh* (if you had actually put that in my head would really have actually exploded).
I think Astoria will be the first of the parents to be happy about the pregnancy. With one sentence and a bit of back-story from Astoria, you have humanised Draco for me more than seven books by JK ever did.

The blame for the peril that threatens Castle Rose lies at his feet.
It was his actions that endangered his charge.
Scorpius, Knight of the Rose is angry (more at himself than anything else) ... but ...
... dare he hope?

Author's Response: I'm glad that you were generally pleased with the way this chapter progressed. The next one delves a little deeper into the feelings surrounding Rose and Scorpius. I am so glad you liked Astoria. I wanted to make her firmly on their side. I also wanted to point out that Draco chose a woman for his wife who wasn't snarky and superior, but down to earth and quite grounding for him. I wanted to emphasise that his morals and values had changed a lot since he was that angry teenager. This is (hopefully) reflected in Astoria, who is Scorpius' biggest ally, always fighting in his corner.

I'm sorry I couldn't put any Astoria/Rose glimpses into this chapter. I'm afraid you'll have to wait until the next one ;) I couldn't have Astoria turn to Rose during the last scene in the office. She had to protect her son from Draco's wrath and disappointment and trusted that Rose would have been granted the same protection from Hermione. I tried to subtly echo Lily (the first) in this way... mothers who are sacrificing their own emotions and dreams and hopes in order to adapt to a change. Protecting their babies against someone who would point out their shortcomings when they were vulnerable.

Astoria reaches out to Rose in the next chapter, and shows her feelings for the girl who is to become her family. The parents and their emotions do make a few more appearances.

Scorpius tries to adapt to an idea that he has never allowed to let himself flirt with. Rose tries to take all the blame for the whole situation and in doing so, finds a way to ingratiate herself back into the centre of the pack, where she finds it easy to help and be helped with her friends.

Thank you so much for your review, as ever.

-Sarita x


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Review #14, by ScoroseOTP Chapter 29: Facing Feelings

6th March 2014:
First off- James is being adorable with his silent dog hug. That's perfect cousin mode- love it.
SHE TOLD HIM! Because she had too but still!
Oh dear though... I was sort of hoping for a happy reaction. I don't know how that could ever have happened though... I'd be seriously annoyed if my best friend was pregnant with my baby and I thought it was someone else and I almost hated her for it but realised I could never do that because I love her. That would be a stressful... annoyed situation.
Scorpius... I feel sorry for him- a lot. That's a lot to just hit him in the face. And he's had to deal with Chelsea- I HATE HER. SO MUCH. But I suppose it's a good job because he wouldn't know he was a Dad without her. (that really was a great way you thought up- you really are great at this writing thing!) I also love his description of Rose because he's right and I reckon that helped him a lot, vent it all out. That's good.
Sarah's okay! Yay! Love it!

Poor poor Ron- He has every right to act the way he did but it's a good job Hermione's there to make sure he didn't actually kill anyone! She seems really supportive which is exactly what I like to see!
Draco also deserved to act that way I think. It was what I'd expected. Which is honestly great. Astoria- I LOVE that woman. She just seems so great and understanding, it's perfect and her little story is wonderful, really sweet.
I HOPE THEY BOTH LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

Thank you for another amazing chapter. Until next time... ScoroseOTP xxx

Author's Response: Yes, it really is a stressful, annoyed situation.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I do love reading your favourite bits.

I'm glad you liked the parents reaction - I tried to make it realistic- nobody would be exactly over the moon...but there is a way to be supportive.

Thank you, dear reader, for your continued support :)

-Sarita x


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Review #15, by potterfan310 Chapter 29: Facing Feelings

6th March 2014:
HI!

"Well you're very pretty and you are pressing up against me.." - Are you trying to kill me with the ScoRose innuendo because it's working.

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! :O

HE KNOWS!

I REPEAT SCORPIUS KNOWS AND ASFGHJKL!!

I'm not surprised he reacted like that, I mean everyone but him knew and I mean it was pretty darn obvious whose baby it was. But STILL OH MY GOD!

He best come back to Rose because I will.

What? FREDDIE WAS THE ONE WHO SOLD ROSE OUT? This just gets more scandalous by the second!!

I am so glad Scorpius stood up to Chelsea, the evil cow. But at least he admits he loves her.

Yes! Sarah is back and just in time by the seems of it, especially as Ron and Hermione are coming. And now the Malfoy's man oh man. I think Hermione is spot on and so is Ron, even if he did want to go on a man hunt.

Wait does Astoria ship ScoRose? asdghjkl!

WHAT? NO, NO, NO, DON'T LEAVE IT THERE. I NEED TO SEE HIM TELL ROSE HE LOVES HER SO IT WILL ALL BE PERFECT AND THEY WILL (hopefully) LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND ASDFHGJKHL.

I am both happy and emotional with this chapter and just asfghjkl is my feelings right now. Hence the capitals, oops. I really hope Chelsea gets what is coming to her. Dom's still not back which is worrying me, is she okay?

My only thing would be the large gaps, but it's easily sorted :)

I swear every time there's a new update my favourite chapter always changes but there is a p[art of me which loves this for obvious reasons ♥ (well at least I think they're obvious)

Crazy ScoRose shipping love from me ♥

10/10 billion xx

Update soon!!!

-Potterfan310
Soph ♥

Author's Response: YOUR EXCITEMENT IS MAKING ME EXCITED!

Scorpius has gone rogue, running off to defend himself and Rose at the same time. Astoria doesn't necessarily ship ScoRose, but she wants her son to be happy...so yes, I suppose she does kind of ship them :P

Yes, the formatting went berserk as I had to copy it in from a different destination! I will fix!

There are lots more chapters coming... It isn't all cuddles and rainbows yet :P

Thank you so much, I love hearing your thoughts! :D

P.S. Dom's absence will be explained and Chelsea most certainly gets her just desserts. Though not quickly.

Thanks again :D

-Sarita x


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Review #16, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 12: Heartache Tonight

5th March 2014:
Time slips on and Rose herself slips into a routine. She doesn't really want to think about it so she focuses upon symptoms and schoolwork to take her mind off the underlying problem.

I like when the core group comes together - things happen. When all the elements are combined together you get power and it leads to strong characterization or storytelling or plot point resolutions or action or ...
In this case we have a major plot point - the pregnancy is revealed to the group. Once again we can see it as the interaction of all the elements.
Scorpius (Heart) brings up the change in Rose as it is closest to his heart. Becky (Water) has worked it out without being told, being sensitive to the group as a whole. She has been a bit too calm and cannot straight out put it into words so it has to be Scorpius who first voices it to the group, "You think she's pregnant?!". Dom (Air) blows off, we all know that once she cools down she'll blow right back again.

There is such a good group dynamic here, the conversation plays out as it should. Becky being conciliatory, James and Sarah loyal, Dom feeling a bit betrayed. Albus picking things up, his place in the elemental scheme of things is the Wild Card - the random factor which can switch the balance where it is most needed or least expected. Rose is an emotional wreck by the end and Scorpius ... well he has to leave quickly because his head is in danger of exploding.

Scorpius asks a few pertinent questions but cannot go the step further and ask the burning, glaring, obvious question - the one he cannot bear to hear the wrong (to him) answer to. A milder question slips out past his defenses, "Is it Freddie's?" Rose put on the spot prevaricates, which to Scorpius in his emotionally charged state is almost as good as an affirmative.

A crisis rocks the very foundations of Castle Rose
and Scorpius, in a moment of weakness, may abandon his post ...
perhaps forever?

Author's Response: I like playing with the group as a whole. Together they are worth more than the sum of their parts, although those parts are priceless. Yes, Becky is water with her intuition. Dom is air, capable of blowing off at any moment. Rose is earth - almost predictable in her stability for others...until now. Sarah is Castle Rose's main defence mechanism - wildfire, the heat of which can permanently scar all who try to breach her defences. James is the leader of the unruly pack, the brains of the operation. Albus is the wild card indeed. You never quite know what he's going to do. And Scorpius, the heart... his rhythmic heartbeat is what Rose orbits, and the others are sucked into the gravitational pull.

Castle Rose is breached by Air, Water and a Wild card. The Knight of the Rose stands outside, wondering whether to rip down her walls or slink off to lick his wounds.


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Review #17, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 11: Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

3rd March 2014:
It's good to see this story from the point of view of someone else for a change. James is, funnily enough the perfect person to choose for the change of view, even though this is a Rose and Scorpius story. James is really like an older brother to Rose as well as being her pack leader. Also, because he's so obsessed, we are really only treated to lovesick thoughts about Sarah and paternalish thoughts about Rose. It's good that it doesn't stray too far into other territory, it could have been jarring.

The same being true for the story being from Sarah's point of view. Just highlighting some of her experiences and her view on Rose's problems (almost the least of which is the actual pregnancy). These thoughts would have been hard to reveal through Rose's narrative so easily and succinctly, so switching the POV was well done.

I like fortune telling in stories, it's such a cheat ;) The Author can make them as accurate as they like, with meaning revealed to any, all or no characters (just the audience if the author so wishes). Here James and Rose full well know the import of everything presented to them. Will James, though, heed the warning of the Ace of Swords and take it slowly? It was a brilliant move to have the card reading scene back to Rose's POV, as we didn't need any more insight into James' reactions to/understanding of the cards meaning than the expressions he showed Rose.
Yet again though, the person who most needs to understand and heed the lesson of the cards is almost willfully ignorant of their message. 'Amy', says Sarah. *exasperated sigh* After the reading the POV switched to Sarah, so we know she remained oblivious to the reading, or was there something subliminal going through her mind? Because, while all her conscious thoughts were about Rose (as related to the reader) she did initially think:-
" ... but mainly I was focusing on the two other people who were probably, if not definitely, thinking over the same situation as I.

Rose and James."

The Best Friend and The Captain wait upon Castle Rose.

Author's Response: Thank you very much. Sarah and James were obvious choices for a POV switch as they are close enough to Rose to see what she can't.

Yes, fortune telling was a bit of a cheat. But I wanted another way to show Sarah's willingness to remain oblivious. Her reasoning becomes more apparent further on in the story.

Although we have few moments to glance into Sarah's thoughts, it is clear that James is always on her mind in some way or another. And that is very important. Also, Rose is never far from her mind or actions.

Scorpius watches as the Alpha Male and Female knock upon the front door of castle Rose and sighs with mingled relief and frustration that they are granted entry almost immediately...

-Sarita x


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Review #18, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 10: Mental

3rd March 2014:
There is not that much to talk about with this chapter, it's just a party and a bit of fluffy filler. Not that I mean anything too pejorative by that. It is very fun, some of the dialogue sparkles. All the girls have quite distinct voices which is very well done. The main four could come across as the mean girls - if they were to use their power for evil. They protect their own and that's as far as it goes,thankfully they don't try to push themselves onto the student population otherwise they could be quite unlikable.

Nothing much going on except for the elemental corollaries drawn between the natures of the main four. I had noticed but this is the first time the fact was overtly mentioned, so here is where I comment upon it. Yet again this is strong writing, and another way to view the characters. I am constantly surprised by the level of writing quality and sophistication I find in the Harry Potter fan-fics. Having a core group of people with opposing elemental natures in harmony makes for strong character combinations and powerful personality interactions. James fits in by being the head of the group. He is the 'brains' (not meaning that in the intelligence way, sorry James) that guides the four along. Scorpius is the heart, because we are viewing the story through the eyes of one particular member of the four.

Mind full of the Siren's Song,
Scorpius fails to notice he is being noticed.

Author's Response: Yes, not much really happens except more of a glimpse into everyone's characters, hopefully! James is the defensive, jealous leader. Albus is popular with the ladies but doesn't appear to reciprocate any feelings for them, or does he just not notice? Sarah is a bit of a loose canon when it comes to defending those she loves. Rose is witty and short tempered, Dom bolshy and snappy. Becky is the quiet one who tries to deal with her problems on her own. Scorpius of course is the sweet one with Rose's best interest at heart.

Thankfully the girls are on the defence rather than the offensive. I tried to put across that they were victims as much as they were villains: Becky is struggling with a heartbreaking situation (coming up in chapter 20 as you know) Dom has had to deal with continuous rejection through Sean Finnegan, who used her. Sarah and Rose had their hearts broken by those they loved the most, while also knowing deep, deep down that they are the cause of heartache in others.

In this sense, the boys are all victims of sorts as well. James made a huge mistake which he will regret until the end of his days, breaking his heart. Albus can't see past his own feelings to find that there is someone out there who really wants him to love her. And Scorpius finally plucked up the courage to flirt with Rose and it ended better than he could have hoped... until she woke up the next morning and shattered his dreams.

Rambling a bit, I know. But your reviews are so thought-provoking!

-Sarita x


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Review #19, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 9: Friends and Rivals

2nd March 2014:
"My mind was an emotional whirlwind. How could Scorpius do this to me? It sounded so selfish ..."
- yes it does.
Though, Rose is due a bit of emotional selfishness at the moment. All her thoughts racing around in her head: what Scorpius has done to her; what her family will think about her; how she and her friends aren't so biatchy anymore. Casting around, almost desperately, for someone, anyone to blame? or at least to distract herself from her own real problems.
And in the midst of it one true thought pops up - she likes Scorpius. She goes to have a bath to 'wash away her sins' her body betrays her and she breaks down and cries - her body being more honest than her mind.

She comes out of her selfish haze when she realizes what she is doing to those around her she cares about, especially Sarah. She gets a grip, she might be letting things get ahead of her, "Sarah, my very best friend, was suffering for my stupid mistakes, my weaknesses, my problems. Maybe I was being melodramatic"

Amy tries another plan. She wouldn't have to resort to such biatchy tactics if James would just be honest with her.

Chelsea is TOLD, in no uncertain terms.

I laughed at "I saw my father's angry face and then myself crying over Scorpius' grave and watching my dad being carted off to Azkaban for murder." - yes Rose, that's being melodramatic.
"It's being so cheerful that keeps me going, I think." Ha!

The Quidditch match, and here you show us you can also write action. Though a small C.C. if I may. There are a few times during this scene where the action becomes muddy. I know you are hampered by relating most of it to us through a dialogue, ie. the commentary, but in a couple of places I was unsure of what had actually happened (in the snitch catching scene and especially the Steve/Dom/Cynthia being carted off/Rose in goals). Up until now my c.c.'s have been fairly trivial, but if you were going to do any edits then I think this section needs a bit of a polish (only a little bit though). Like Scorpius' grumpy face becoming him. Correct me if I'm wrong but, I think you meant to convey that his grumpy face is all Rose has been seeing recently. The 'something becomes him' phrase usually means that the something would make him look better or more handsome.

The Quidditch match, action as emotional catharsis. All the things building up within Rose burst forth as she sublimates her feelings into catching and chasing and goal scoring and flying and ...
I initially didn't like the almost preemptive strike against Chelsea. It is slightly out of character for Rose except she's already a bit out of sorts and sees a moment of opportunity. Also, Rose has to make up for all the points Chelsea made against her last chapter. But Chelsea immediately strikes back with 'I'll get dirt on you' Using my tennis analogy from last comments, that's game to Chelsea and she has the serve. Rose knows she has won a tiny victory (getting the Quaffle) but the ball is now in Chelsea's court and she's looking dangerous.

The conversation at the end of the Quidditch match between Scorpius and Rose - perhaps it's because the adrenaline is running high, or because they are both exhausted after the physical exercise, but they have probably the most honest conversation they have had yet.
Rose - "It's not any of your business either way. And you wouldn't believe me whatever I told you."
Scorpius - "That's true."

Scorpius tries to approach Castle Rose,
- he is denied as long as the Curse of the Siren lies upon him.

Author's Response: es, while Rose sees she is being selfish, she cannot shake the emotional agony and find some honesty in her own mind.

Chelsea and Rose definitely seem to be riding a kind of seesaw... Rose falls down and on the other side Chelsea rises up, and vice versa.

I will most certainly be polishing the Quidditch scenes when I begin editing. They can be very scattered. Thank you for the c.c. as ever!

Yes, the most honest conversations appear to come out of nowhere but Rose uses her adrenaline to finally tell Scorpius that she is very annoyed with him. Oh no... she doesn't. She just implies it, heavily.

Poor Scorpius, his Rose banner flapping in the breeze, tries anything to shake off the bonds of the Siren... but wait, a face appears at a window high in the tower. Rose watches his fledgling relationship beadily.

The Knight of the Rose finally has her attention, through the affections of another.

The stand-off continues.


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Review #20, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 9: Friends and Rivals

2nd March 2014:
"My mind was an emotional whirlwind. How could Scorpius do this to me? It sounded so selfish ..."
- yes it does.
Though, Rose is due a bit of emotional selfishness at the moment. All her thoughts racing around in her head: what Scorpius has done to her; what her family will think about her; how she and her friends aren't so biatchy anymore. Casting around, almost desperately, for someone, anyone to blame? or at least to distract herself from her own real problems.
And in the midst of it one true thought pops up - she likes Scorpius. She goes to have a bath to 'wash away her sins' her body betrays her and she breaks down and cries - her body being more honest than her mind.

She comes out of her selfish haze when she realizes what she is doing to those around her she cares about, especially Sarah. She gets a grip, she might be letting things get ahead of her, "Sarah, my very best friend, was suffering for my stupid mistakes, my weaknesses, my problems. Maybe I was being melodramatic"

Amy tries another plan. She wouldn't have to resort to such biatchy tactics if James would just be honest with her.

Chelsea is TOLD, in no uncertain terms.

I laughed at "I saw my father's angry face and then myself crying over Scorpius' grave and watching my dad being carted off to Azkaban for murder." - yes Rose, that's being melodramatic.
"It's being so cheerful that keeps me going, I think." Ha!

The Quidditch match, and here you show us you can also write action. Though a small C.C. if I may. There are a few times during this scene where the action becomes muddy. I know you are hampered by relating most of it to us through a dialogue, ie. the commentary, but in a couple of places I was unsure of what had actually happened (in the snitch catching scene and especially the Steve/Dom/Cynthia being carted off/Rose in goals). Up until now my c.c.'s have been fairly trivial, but if you were going to do any edits then I think this section needs a bit of a polish (only a little bit though). Like Scorpius' grumpy face becoming him. Correct me if I'm wrong but, I think you meant to convey that his grumpy face is all Rose has been seeing recently. The 'something becomes him' phrase usually means that the something would make him look better or more handsome.

The Quidditch match, action as emotional catharsis. All the things building up within Rose burst forth as she sublimates her feelings into catching and chasing and goal scoring and flying and ...
I initially didn't like the almost preemptive strike against Chelsea. It is slightly out of character for Rose except she's already a bit out of sorts and sees a moment of opportunity. Also, Rose has to make up for all the points Chelsea made against her last chapter. But Chelsea immediately strikes back with 'I'll get dirt on you' Using my tennis analogy from last comments, that's game to Chelsea and she has the serve. Rose knows she has won a tiny victory (getting the Quaffle) but the ball is now in Chelsea's court and she's looking dangerous.

The conversation at the end of the Quidditch match between Scorpius and Rose - perhaps it's because the adrenaline is running high, or because they are both exhausted after the physical exercise, but they have probably the most honest conversation they have had yet.
Rose - "It's not any of your business either way. And you wouldn't believe me whatever I told you."
Scorpius - "That's true."

Scorpius tries to approach Castle Rose,
- he is denied as long as the Curse of the Siren lies upon him.

Author's Response: Yes, while Rose sees she is being selfish, she cannot shake the emotional agony and find some honesty in her own mind.

Chelsea and Rose definitely seem to be riding a kind of seesaw... Rose falls down and on the other side Chelsea rises up, and vice versa.

I will most certainly be polishing the Quidditch scenes when I begin editing. They can be very scattered. Thank you for the c.c. as ever!

Yes, the most honest conversations appear to come out of nowhere but Rose uses her adrenaline to finally tell Scorpius that she is very annoyed with him. Oh no... she doesn't. She just implies it, heavily.

Poor Scorpius, his Rose banner flapping in the breeze, tries anything to shake off the bonds of the Siren... but wait, a face appears at a window high in the tower. Rose watches his fledgling relationship beadily.

The Knight of the Rose finally has her attention, through the affections of another.

The stand-off continues.


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Review #21, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 8: Hindsight

28th February 2014:
In your last comments you posited, "In this sense, Freddie is Rose's fox-form prey."
I hadn't even considered this aspect; of viewing the story through this prism. It's not so much that their animagus nature influences their human nature, rather that their animagus forms are an expression of their true nature. The whole animagi sub-plot then becomes an allegory for the whole story (like I'm doing, in a much smaller way of course, with my brief snippets of Scorpius, Knight of the Rose).
I've said it before, but this is wonderful writing.

Based on that analysis, this whole chapter can be seen as 'pack maintenance'.
James protective of Rose - will the strains of Quidditch be too much?
Rose protecting James from the worst of Sarah/Danny.
Dom sniffing around Rose, sensing somethings wrong.
Rose going to break things up with Freddie ... of course she was.

Rose : "I didn't know what I was going to say to Freddie. It's not like I had come any closer to making my decision."
You tell yourself that Rose, but we all know you went there to break it off. Your actions later in the conversation speak louder than your internal monologue. Freddie's obvious reactions to your tone and body language confirm your original intent. Everyone can see it until ... Chelsea Oxford.

It's like this is her opening move in a sweeping game of evil intent. She's started to capture Scorpius' affections. That Rose was there to witness the opening gambit, she couldn't have asked for better. If only it had been revealed to Rose minutes later she wouldn't have knee-jerked back to Freddie, icing on the cake as far as Chelsea is concerned. First point, second point, third point - 40/love Chelsea Oxford.

on my reviews "... impatiently await the next one." I'm trying to do one review per day, I post them in the afternoon and read your comments the next morning (you're in the UK and I'm in OZ). I don't post the next review until I've seen your comments just in case I want to comment upon your comments about my comments ;)

In a moment of weakness Scorpius is lured away from his true path by a siren's call.
But what's that noise behind ...
... he turns in horror to see the castle gates locked and barred against him, perhaps forever.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I always wanted their animagus forms to be revealing in some way. James paying homage to Sirius and Lily paying homage to their grandparents being a doe. The girls were foxes,a pack animal, a carnivorous animal. Scorpius being a red wolf... in a lot of ways a stronger version of a fox, but showing a touch of sentimentality taking on her colouring, as Sarah did becoming a black fox to match James' black dog. And of course, Albus, the 'lone feline' - happy alone but still a member of the pack.

I think in a way the whole story is pack maintenance - James is disappointed and worried and angry and scared for his little red fox, defensive and possessive over his alpha female black fox and ever concerned for the dynamic of their friendships and welfare for them as a whole and individually.

Yes, Rose was going to do the right thing, but like so many of us, resorted to pettiness when hurt. She lashes back out at Scorpius and hard as she feels she's been betrayed. The fact that it is Chelsea Oxford really touches a nerve though.

Chelsea is a fun character to play with... she's like a nasty kid pulling the wings off flies... there's no real reasons to her nastiness other than that she enjoys it. As the chapters go on it becomes more apparent that enemy and friend alike, nobody is safe from her spite.

Ah, I love the fact that you read back my comments. It's amazing to learn that little titbits throughout the story are not lost on everyone. I think re-reading it definitely helps, as you said. BUT I am impatient for a reason... I cannot wait to read your thoughts on the events of each chapter.

An update is in the works. Thank you so much, as ever.

-Sarita x


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Review #22, by oldershouldknowbetter 7: That Bloody Party

26th February 2014:
So here is where James shows us his true worth as the leader of their pack. Initially he is angry because one of his charges does something stupid which not only effects them but jeopardizes the welfare of the whole pack. Then he calms down and proves his worth, nurturing, supporting his pack. It's members will not be threatened by anything that he can help to ameliorate.

All the little interactions that happen scattered thought the background of your story are wonderful. You replied to me once "I try to touch base with all the other characters in most chapters" and you see it in even the most innocuous of moments. Re-reading the story does help to make some of the more subtle moments pop out.

SPOILERS

Like the cooling of Becky's feelings for Rich and her burgeoning atttchment to Albus. We saw a bit of the cooling last chapter in the scene where they were all gathering to go to Hogsmeade. The begining of Beckys feelings for Al we see here with nothing more than a laugh. Subtle, wonderful stuff - as of chapter 29 *ahem* chapter 28 I mean *arrgh, pulls out hair* this relationship has come nowhere near to being resolved (I don't think Al actually has any clue that it's even something). You are prepared to play the long game and have all these threads running through your narrative. This is fantastic writing.

END SPOILERS

Rose put on the spot by Freddie does the first thing that comes to her mind - runs away from the problem, 'I'll think about it'. Your first reaction is often the most honest Rose, there is someone else you want to be with more - no matter the comfort you might find in the arms of anyone, and I mean anyone, else. Freddie is a handsome, comforting presence and we get the feeling it could have been supplied by any warm body that had been in the right place. James even subverts Freddie's rightful place almost straight away - the comforting, nurturing embracing hug that James supplies should have been by Freddie if she truly cared for him.

MORE SPOILERS

About if Scorpius is the father - 'Further reading does not prove you wrong - Rose couldn't stand to lie to Scorpius, but she could stand to mislead him.'
I'm glad my memory proved to be correct, this is a superb piece of storytelling on your part. He hasn't actually asked "Am I the father?". Why not? Is it because he's been obtuse and hasn't actually asked the right question? Maybe. Is it because he couldn't stand to hear the answer no? Probably. Is it because he asumes Rose would tell him if he was? Possibly. Or, is it a mixture of all three?
And there is Rose happily (cowardly?) hiding behind the truth and not saying anything.
(oh, and asume was misspelt deliberately because apparently I cannot use the syllable a s s *frustrated sigh*)

On Scorpius finding out - "Cue happy, ecstatic stunned Scorpius? Indeed. But he has a few other choice emotions to run through first!"
Yeah, yeah *waves dismissive hand at Sarita* he might go through some trivial emotions, like, possibly ... maybe ... anger, betrayal, and other small inconsequentialities, but really he would at heart be overjoyed that he was the Father.

END MORE SPOILERS

Scorpius can only watch in disbelief
- the Invader may be welcomed, where he is not?

Author's Response: I am so glad you like the subtly interweaved threads of the characters. They might not cross paths on a daily or even weekly basis, but they are bound together by more than circumstance.

I do so enjoy playing with Albus in the background. He understands Scorpius. He understands his brother. He even understands Rose. But Becky baffles him completely. *sigh!*

Freddie is exactly that... a warm body. He is non-threatening enough that she feels free having him around. He doesn't invade enough on the peripheral vision of her life to threaten her secrets or make her slam the portcullis down around Castle Rose.

In this sense, Freddie is Rose's fox-form prey. He is a warm-blooded creature who gives off a scent of homeliness and peace which she so craves. So she puts her nose to the ground again and sniffs him out. She uses him for comfort when James is too scary and Scorpius too prickly.

Scorpius' reasoning is a mix of all three. Rose, in a fit of fear and cowardice, hides behind the fact that he would never corner her into making her reveal her secrets. He thinks her too flighty, too likely to reject him. And the idea of it terrifies him.

He cannot ask her outright. He is far too frightened of the response... what if she says yes? WHAT IF SHE SAYS NO?! He is trapped very firmly between a rock and a hard place and out of a similar fear to Rose's, he keeps his mouth shut, just like she does.

Ahh, all his feelings will be bared in the next few chapters.

As always, your reviews are a pleasure to read and I rather impatiently await the next one.

-Sarita x


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Review #23, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 6: The Ugly Truth

25th February 2014:
Is it just me or is Freddie being a little too friendly sometimes?

Of course they wouldn't want to go to Rose's Dad's bar - too much potential for 'embarrassing dad moments'; though they would have been fun to watch.

I initially thought that the inclusion of James amongst the first people to discover Rose's secret was a misstep. Yeah her best friend, of course. Any of her friends who you've written as being perceptive will soon know, fine, but James? Then I remembered what James is. It's not because he's the oldest, or that he's any better friends with Rose than anybody else. No it's because he is the leader of their pack, he is the animagus alpha male. It is only right that he knows that one of his b!tches is pregnant (The word I'm not allowed to write in this review used in the proper sense as they are all female canines).


The other sh0e drops (I'm not allowed to write s h o e because it has the word h o e in it! This system is ridiculous for reviewing stories that are 17+ *exasperated sigh* *ends rant*). Rose now has incontrovertible proof.

"4 wks Pregnant

Mother: Rose Weasley, 17 years old.

Father: Scorpius Malfoy, 17 years old."

Nice device, I've read a lot of 'pregnant Rose' stories and I think this is the best pregnancy test I've seen. I have a wonderful little scene roaming around my head inspired by the little parchment pregnancy result for when Rose finally does tell Scorpius. She's like "I've known since the beginning; it matches with my timing; it could only be him". Scorpius for the first time actually asking who the father is because from my memory he hasn't - he's asked 'Does the Father know?' and stuff like that. All questions Rose hasn't had to out and out lie to him, which I've thought was quite fun of you to do (I hope further reading doesn't prove me wrong). Anyway, after Scorpius straight out asks, the scene revolves around Rose looking straight into Scorpius' eyes and silently handing him this parchment. The parchment that she's been carrying around ever since too afraid to show him, too precious to let it go. He takes it from her, never breaking eye contact until he has to flick his eyes down to the paper where he freezes in happy, stunned disbelief. cue happy Scorpius, cue overjoyed Scorpius, cue ecstatic Scorpius.

Scorpius watches his Captain and The Best Friend breach the defenses, it is right that they should be allowed in where even he is not.

Author's Response: Oh yes, so many opportunities for embarrassing dad moments, any teenage girl would be mortified.

James was always, always going to be one of the first to know. He is constantly keeping an eye on his pack... and Rose is very special to him, as she was always there for him. Somehow her knowing that he wasn't always a strong alpha male made him love her just that little bit more. Rose is nothing if not persistent.

What a ridiculous system... imagine not allowing you to write S H O E. Stupid!

Ah, Rose always knew. She knew before she took the test... she knew from the first morning that it was a huge deal for a reason. Only she doesn't listen to her inner voice and instead shuts it down and proceeds to try and protect everyone else around her. Further reading does not prove you wrong - Rose couldn't stand to lie to Scorpius, but she could stand to mislead him.

Cue happy, ecstatic stunned Scorpius? Indeed. But he has a few other choice emotions to run through first!

-Sarita x


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Review #24, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 5: Maybe

25th February 2014:
In the last chapters you've revealed all your quirks - all the things which will differentiate your story from others - all your O.C.s, the main characters anamagi nature, Ron's pub. Now the reveals start to settle down and we begin the simple grind of your story (though that makes it sound far more pejorative than I meant it to). There are always little pieces of information to be gleaned on the way like Sarah's veela ancestry, but largely the scene has been set.

Amy is very nasty here, but with some good reason - her supposed 'boyfriend' has eyes for another girl who not only happens to be his ex but also still his best friend. Yeah she's not nice to Sarah and the main characters certainly don't support her. One senses that she might know (or at least sense) that James doesn't love her (doesn't even like her much) and this makes her very insecure. When he admits as much to Rose later on, we should lose a bit of sympathy for his position, if not him. He deserves some of the hurt he is feeling for what he's deliberately doing to an innocent girl. Innocent? Is she? As it stands yes, but what about the look between her and Danny - mentioned once again here *aaarrrghh* what is it*

James and his problems; Rose taking charge; explaining things to Albus. Rose you are so good with everyone else's problems, everyone's, except for the two who matter most: yours and Scorpius'.
You replied to me "Yes, I did definitely try to spin the characters a little bit so that it was the guys who were in touch with their feelings and it was the girls who were oblivious!"
I would refine this a bit to say that most of the boys are in touch with their own feelings but not anyone else's. The girls on the other-hand are actually fairly savvy except for certain glaring omissions - usually where it should concern them the most (Rose with Scorpius, Sarah with James, etc).

Oh did I say all the big reveals have been made, no here we have the biggest reveal of all, well at least as far as Rose is concerned (we have all read the title so we know what's coming). Rose may just possibly be pregnant. So it's part six (5 chapters and a prologue - glares at Sarita - 29!! *aarrgghh, pulls out hair*) and we are only just now getting to the pregnancy.

Good.

We needed chapters for establishing this particular world. We needed to see the 'normal Rose' (as normal as she gets anyways). If we didn't the changes in her life which are just about to rock-her-world wouldn't mean as much to the readers.

Who comes to Rose with comfort and victuals, not her boyfriend but Scorpius. The level of intimacy and familiarity you have to have with someone to eat the food off their plate, to help them when they are helpless is very great indeed. Still Rose cannot see it.
Poor Scorpius, he sees Rose so helpless and in need of help, it touches him so deeply that it breaks his resolve. He is so in control of himself, however, that all he allows to slip out is "It wasn't a mistake for me. I hope you know that."
Wonderful stuff.


He lays out his tributes.
He performs his chivalrous acts.
He professes his undying, eternal devotion,
Yet still he casts himself out, back into the wasteland goes Scorpius, Knight of the Rose.

Author's Response: Oh yes, here while James puts on a veneer of being a pseudo-supportive boyfriend, he still only has eyes for the girl who broke his heart. Sympathy lost for him or at least his position? Yes, somewhat. The more we look into Amy's character, the more we feel sorry for her and at the same time, the more we continue to mistrust her. With good reason on both parts.

You are totally right... the guys are good at introspectively analysing their own feelings but can't see past said feelings to clearly see anyone else's. The girls are fairly savvy, except where it really matters, all of which set to infuriate!

I'm so glad you understand my weird little thought-process. I needed to set the scene for the readers to understand the inter-relational dynamics and how each character affects another. This was very important to me and I have had criticism for it taking so long... but if people didn't care about the story, why would they care about the length it was taking to get to the 'drama'.

The way you put everything is beautiful. Rose takes Scorpius for granted, half-expecting him to always be there as the alternative has never crossed her mind, because she knows she will always be there for him. She oversimplifies his feelings, and her own.

Oh yes, our poor Knight of the Rose has been cast out since his Night with the Rose. He seems vampiric in the way that he needs to be invited in, doesn't he?

My eternal thanks,

-Sarita x


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Review #25, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 4: Kiss The Girl

24th February 2014:
In your comment to my last review you said that Rose has always held a candle for Scorpius.
I don't believe your Rose consciously knows what it is she has with Scorpius.
In her mind/experience what is Scorpius to her? He's always been there for her, reading with her, studying with her, (both established in later chapters), he probably shares the same sense of humor as her, same outlook on life. She respects, values him and cherishes him more than nearly anyone else. She has no (outward) idea that true love is also based upon the deepest of friendships. Yeah I know Sarah is her best girl-friend and James is her 'big brother'/leader, but Scorpius is her go-to-guy.

Scorpius on the other-hand, even though he feels the same way knows that what he feels for Rose is nothing less than true love - maybe because he is a boy and sex/love is closer to the surface for him but I think he knows mainly because he is far more in touch with his feelings than Rose is.
She doesn't. She has no clue, hence her reaction when she finds she's slept with him 'friends shouldn't do this' that's why she panics she knows that's true, friends should just be friends. Rose, what you have with Scorpius is a deep down abiding love, it is not mere friendship. You esteem his good opinion of you more than any others; you know he would do anything for you, anything. Doesn't that tell you something?

The romantic model you've chosen is that of EMMA by Jane Austen. I keep going back to Miss Austen who with her major works gave us the template for nearly every romance since. The Emma plot is "What you want may be right under your nose the whole time." Or "the person who has been a true friend/big brother figure turns out to be the right one for you". This fits Scorpius and her to a T - shocks and tribulations will reveal all to her in time.

Oh well, she was starting to feel sick in Honeydukes? Ahh, one order of rude awakening for Rose Weasley coming right up.

This starts off as a fairly girly chapter - always serves to deepen/reinforce our understanding of the group, if nothing else. This is one of the reasons I enjoy your story so much, is this group of friends. They are so well drawn and likable, I want to follow their lives.

I like the Pub. It's a very warm, homey thing borne out of the reaction that the now adults had to the hatred/bigotry/injustice which surrounded the wizarding war. I could see either Harry or Ron doing it but I do believe Ron is the stronger choice. Both for the purposes of your story but also because ... it's hard to put in words without sounding disloyal to Ron .. but because he's not Harry Potter. Don't get me wrong, I think he'd make a fine Auror but just not in the same league as Harry. He'd be fine with that, but a pub, that would be his own thing. He's a joking, warm-hearted man and as a Landlord of a pub he would be able to share that warmth and cheer (even if only part time). It makes a lot of sense and it's just another little thing that elevates your story, for me, above a lot of the other 'teen pregnant Rose' stories.

I like the thawing of tension between the Malfoys and the Potter/Weasleys. I've always believed that the adult Harry would have forgiven him a long time ago. I wonder how rosy (no pun intended - well maybe a little bit), ahem, how rosy the relationship will stay once the Weasleys find out a certain Master Malfoy has been more than just good friends with a certain Miss Weasly?

Scorpius looking on as Rose kisses Freddie, not once but twice!

A foreign invader has breached the defences!
What is that howling in the wasteland?
Scorpius rages, rages at the walls of castle Rose, which have never seemed so impenetrable to him as they do now.

Author's Response: No, in later chapters it is explained that she never allowed herself to consider him as anything more than a friend out of fear. But she does have that niggling feeling that, like you said, true love comes from deep friendship.

Yes, I did definately try to spin the characters a little bit so that it was the guys who were in touch with their feelings and it was the girls who were oblivious!

I never realised I was channeling Miss Austen in the romantic side - it just goes to show that romance really is fairly simple, despite the whistles and bells.

Thank you so much - I try to touch base with all the other characters in most chapters - I think it reinforces the fact that Rose isn't on her own and that despite the world having stopped for her, it went on turning for everyone else.

Your ideas on the pub are dead on... I did consider Harry but quickly dismissed it... Harry truly cares about defending against dark arts whereas I always saw Ron's involvement as a means to an end - he studied defence because he needed to, and now he has chosen to do something (yes, part time) which fits his personality and who he is now, rather than who he was when he was a scared teenager.

Yes, I agree. I always believed that after the war, with so many dead and injured and lost, that Harry would have seen past any petty lingering aminosity. Ron, as always, has to follow suit rather than go up against both his wife and his best friend!

Oh my god. I love your last sentences... Scorpius pawing at the portcullis while Rose entertains an invading enemy. Poor old Scorpius...

-Sarita x


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