I thought this was a really sweet little one-shot. You captured George perfectly - he was still the George we know and love from the books but he seems that bit wiser which is great. When Louis tells him he wants fireworks and George says 'I'm not that irresponsible' I don't know why but that just made me laugh so much. It was perfect for George to say.
I love how smart Louis is, especially when he was making a deal with George at the end. It was great that he was so stubborn too - making him a lot like Bill or Ginny. Freddie was just too cute. Him and George together are absolutely perfect and I'd love to read more of them together!
Well done on such a terrific one-shot!
Lauren Report Review
Oh my gosh, I love this! I'm sure I reviewed this before, but never mind - I'm here now! :P
George is perfect! He seems so much like the George we know from canon, just older and (slightly) wiser and everything. Also, I love how you brought out his more manipulative side with the bribery and the cookies in the kitchen. Shows he's actually intelligent, not just good at making things explode :D
Louis is adorable! He is so cute - I want to take him home and cuddle him! The way you describe him reminds me of my cousin, lol. He really seems like an actual child, which I know is so hard to do - so well done for that!
Freddie is equally cute. So sweet - unusually sweet for George and Angie's kid, particularly when he went to sleep, but you made it work so well.
Eh, it was just perfect! Perfect length, perfect style, perfect characterisation... I can't find anything to point out... in fact, I'm sort of running out of things to say. It was so, so good. I'm going to go and add this to my favourites now ;)
Loved it! Must restrain self from stealing mini!Louis.. :D
Aph xxAuthor's Response: I was the most nervous about writing George, as I've never written him before, so thank you for that. :D
I love Louis, too. He's definitely my favorite. I too just want to cuddle him! He is actually inspired by my little brother. :D
I've read lots of prankster/player/cool Freddie. We needed to see a younf, adorably cute Freddie! :P
Thank you so much!
Sam. Report Review
I loved this. It was so adorable! Little Louis and Little Fred made me say "aww" every time they spoke.
I think you wrote George very well, and very in character, so great job for that. His interactions with little Fred were really sweet. The line at the end "but I'm better." was perfect George. Great job!!Author's Response: Thank you! They are just so adorable, aren't they?
I agree; it is very George! :D Report Review
I really enjoyed this one shot, you wrote it very well and it was very interesting.
I like the way you wrote Louis, especially his stubborness and the way that George has commented on how he's like Bill.
You wrote the characters incredibly well and I love how Louis has learnt to be somewhat suspicious of George just like Bill was, like father like son aye? hehe
A very wonderful read and I'm glad that George finally managed to get Louis to eat the yoghurt after a helpful hint by Fred. :-DAuthor's Response: Yes, Louis is very much like Bill. As Fred is very much like George. :D
Thank you. :) Report Review
For the thing on the forums? :)
Oh, this was awesome! It's great to read something family-orientated rather than romance and humour all the time (although it was very funny. Fred is clearly a genius). Its beautifully written and clever. So glad I picked this one; the summary just leaped out at me!
10/10 :)Author's Response: Fred is definitely a genius, just like his dad and namesake. :D
Thank you so very much! :)
Sam. Report Review
I loved it! I think you did a great job at capturing each of the characters. I remember the first time I tried to write George, and it was hard at first, but after awhile it kind of started flowing. This is great.Author's Response: Thank you. :) Report Review
Oh my gosh, I loved your story! I've had this problem with my own son. Oh and you did a great job with George!Author's Response: Thank you! :) Report Review
Hey, here with your first of five reviews! :)
This was a really cute story, and I thought that you absolutely did them justice. George in particular was perfect in this; you really showed how clever he is, rather than just depicting him as being over-the-top goofy and ridiculous (which is a bit of a pet peeve of mine when it comes to fanfiction about the twins). I thought that his immediate reaction to the basis of Bill and Fleur's war with Louis was great, as was his bribery.
Oh, and Louis and Fred II... perfect. A lot of people have trouble capturing children in fics - the kids just come off either sounding too much like adults or just unrealistic, but you've done a really good job at keeping them sounding like little kids. Louis's stubbornness and pouting and Fred's interpretation of the situation were especially terrific.
This was such a fun read. I'm glad that it was one of your choices! :)Author's Response: Hey!
Oh good. I've never written George before, so yay! Though, I have read some, so I know exactly what you mean; it gets a little annoying sometimes.
I don't write kids often, but I have younger siblings and cousins (I'm the oldest) with varying ages, so I kind of just base the kids in fics on them. LOL.
Thank you so much! This is one of my favorite fics to write, so I'm glad you liked it. :D
Sam. Report Review
I never liked yogurt...and probable never will. I should get an uncle like George who'll give me fireworks for my birthday but I won't trade yogurt for it. :P
Your story was very enjoyable, I really liked it. Very cute as well, I couldn't stop smiling while I was reading the story. This story was 'cuteness' written all over it. 9/10.
~TheUnknownSlytherinReviewerAuthor's Response: Nah, I love yogurt. Always have. But we should alll definitely have an uncle like George!
Thank you so much for reviewing. :D Report Review
This was really cute! I have to say that I did not like yogurt either as a kid, but I grew into it, especially the lime and orange stuff. LOL!
I think George's fireworks would definately make me try something new... especially if it is one of those dragons they did at Hogwarts, but I'd even settle for the big "W" just to see it in person.
This was really creative and I would think, very challenging to come up with a story about yogurt. Great job!
I have to say that I have been checking your author page, searching for a story that is non-slash. Sorry, I can't read those and I hope that you understand and forgive my lack of reviews for your stories. I haven't forgotten about you and I feel that I owe you. I'm so sorry.
Really cute one...
Love that you mentioned Ginny's stubborness. :)
Dark WhisperAuthor's Response: Dark Whisper!
I love yogurt. Always have. My favorites are toffee and chocolate and vanilla. :D
They definitely would! I would love to see Weasley fireworks!
It was quite challenging. It took me ages to figure out what to write for this, there wasn't long left for the challenge when I finally had this. But I like it!
No worries. Slash isn't for everyone. You don't owe me. But I have and will always have non-slash too. :D (Amidst the Ashes, The Rose, Hidden in the Dark, The Collector, for example ^.^)
Don't apologise for not reading slash. I totally understand! :)
Thanks for leaving a review.
Very cute. I love stories with kids in them.
Louis loves fireworks? That's new. *shifty eyes*
Good job with staying in tense, I know it's hard as heck to stay in present tense for a long period of time when you're not used to it, cause I know you typically write in past tense. And the same goes for first person, cause I know you typically write in third person as well.
--JennaAuthor's Response: The fireworks? I just needed a reason for Louis to say 'bang' and I could hear fireworks from my window (cause some peopld don't know when holidays are over. >. Report Review
Very sweet and cute!
Fred is really the smart one :)
But I think you wrote 'Angela' instead of Angelina...
Well however, I really liked this oneshot !Author's Response: Hey.
Fred is the smart one. I love Fred.
Thank you for pointing that out, I'll fix that now. :) Report Review
Waaah, quickly reviewing before this thing logs out xD Little Louis is so adorable! And did I spot a very, very lovely M-Dom? WAS THERE SUDDENLY M-DOM! Or didn't I read it right...
I love your George and the whole yogurt-thing. How much trouble one person can have with that... but I agree with Louis: it looks disgusting! (which why I've never eaten it... maybe for fireworks). But the whole tricking was such fun and your George seems spot on! Woot!
I looove this Author's Response: Yay!
YES! There was M-Dom! It's always M-Dom! we will never change that!
It was fun to write! I feel I must write more George!
Thank you! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection