Reading Reviews for All I Want For Christmas
  
17 Reviews Found

Review #1, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing A Winter Wonderland

15th December 2013:
Hello!

So yeah, I'm still kind of annoyed at Lily for accepting the date to annoy James but I've still got all my fingers and toes crossed that it's James! You've got me dying to know who it is!

She's being so mean to him! My heart was positively melting when she was speaking to him and yet she kept forcing herself to hate him, I'm here wondering how I can make her realise how daft she's being!

And yet again you show us how sweet Mr Potter is! Bless him, wanting to check on her but being worried that someone might think they, well you know! But after Lilys ready for her date and he runs up to his dormitory... I've got to be right? Surely?

Okay, so I was wrong. Eugh, Lestrange? Really? But I'm glad James went down and they shared such a lovely moment. I was just imagining the whole thing as you wrote it and it was a really beautiful Lily/James moment. I was kind of gutted Sirius interrupted but hopefully the moment between them will only spur James on, I'm so excited to read more!

The only CC I would give is that you do change perspective quite a lot within one section and it can get a tad confusing! The section at the end which was just James was fine but there are times when you change within a section. An example being:

"Naomi smirked to herself, but Lily had already reached the common room, and walked past James without giving him even a passing glance." Here this changes to Naomi's POV. To include her smirk you could say Lily walked out ignoring her the smirk on Naomi's face or something. You do it a little with James and Lily too!

A few quick typos for you:

"because Alice is going to come up here any moment now to brush her hair, or either Naomi will come up to fix her makeup." This didn't quite make sense, I think it should be something like: "because Alice is going to come up here any moment now to brush her hair, either that or Naomi will come up to fix her makeup."

"Down the corridor to the girls' lavatory where she slammed the stall shut and leaned heavily against the door before suddenly bursting into uncontrollable tears." I think you need Lily somewhere in this sentence... something like, "Lily flew down the corridor to the girls' lavatory where she slammed the stall shut and leaned heavily against the door before suddenly bursting into uncontrollable tears."

Again, great chapter and I'm really enjoying reading it!

Lauren :)

 Report Review

Review #2, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing If You Believe Me

15th December 2013:
Hello!

I've finally made it! I saw James and Lily on your page and I just couldn't resist. I'm a sucker for a James/Lily story!

So the beginning... it set the scene really well! We start with Lily still against James but with the looks of it she's coming around. She's calling him James rather than Potter and also her friends are now on James's side which was fun to see!

I loved James, he was very full of life and similar to the James I imagined! I loved that even though he kept get knocked back by Lily he was still as keen as ever, it's clear to see how much he really does love her!

So, what are Alice and Naomi talking about all hush hush?

Of course we find out! James wouldn't have let Sirius not tell him. I love how you wrote Lily slowly coming around to James, when she melted into him, my heart warmed. Gah, I love James Potter!

But... what? I didn't see this coming! Lily's been asked on a blind date and she was being pretty cruel to James about it! I have a secret hope that it's actually James and everything is going to work out well because it's clear she's falling for him, she just needs to admit it to herself!

A few things for you:

"who was obviously more pleased with the arrangement than was Lily" I feel this would flow better if it was "who was obviously more pleased with the arrangement than Lily was "

I found this line a little odd: "For a moment, James considered being hurt, or disappointed, but then he thought, "She believes me now...and, we were so close. Soon, maybe...soon maybe she will be mine." The whole time we've been in Lily's head and you suddenly change to James for this section, it felt a little out of place.

This was a great start though and you've definitely got me keen to read more! Well done on a great chapter!

Lauren :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by 942lily110 I'd Do Anything

10th December 2013:
I really really really liked it!
I cant wait for the next chapter, please have it as soon as you can!
I can feel the emotion building between them! ^^

Author's Response: Thank you, I am glad you are liking it!
The next chapter is about 80% done, so I hope to have it posted before Christmas if all goes well.
Thank you so much for your lovely review!
-Kelsi


 Report Review

Review #4, by Hope F Moore A Winter Wonderland

15th October 2013:
Dude, seriously, please update. You're a really good
writer and the characters are written really well.
Even if your muse, what/whom that may be/have been,
doesn't really return, remember what it was like
when you had it, and write from there

Author's Response: Aw thank you so freaking much! I will try, and hopefully something good will come of it. You're awesome.

 Report Review

Review #5, by rebakahgranger A Winter Wonderland

26th March 2013:
Please, please, please update soon! This is a wonderful story, and they're both staying very true to their characters.

~Rebecca

Author's Response: Thanks, I really do appreciate the encouragement, because this story is giving me the hardest time of any of them, but maybe I will get my muse for it back soon. Thank you so much for reviewing!!

 Report Review

Review #6, by angel_speaks A Winter Wonderland

12th December 2012:
Another awesome chapter! I'm loving how the characters are turning out. A lot of their personalities are more emphasized in this chapter. I think that your really doing a good job with the character elements. As for the story/plot development, I think it coming out quite nicely, just a few revisions here and there and it would be perfect.

I really admire how persistent and patient James is towards stubborn ol' Lily. I think that makes him a really worthy male character as he's really not afraid to display his affections to her, despite her "rejections".

Keep on going :) I'm really loving this story!

Holiday Review Extravaganza Event Two

Author's Response: Thanks again! I am so glad you like it so far :) I haven't really had much time lately but hopefully after the Christmas rush I can get back on track. Thank you so much for your review!

 Report Review

Review #7, by angel_speaks If You Believe Me

12th December 2012:
I find this chapter really cute :) It's so adorable how a part of Lily believes that James could really be in love with her, while her other half remains pretty stubborn and skeptical. I can't wait to see her give into her feelings >_< or at least, I hope she does.

I think the chapter could have gone a lot smoother with a few added transition sentences. Other than that, grammar seems pretty good as well as spelling. Good job! I love your creativity!

Holiday Review Extravaganza Event Two

Author's Response: Thank you so much! The reason for any roughness in the story would be because it was done last year when I was just starting on HPFF so I probably need to go in and do some rewriting, but thank you! I really appreciate your review!

 Report Review

Review #8, by Grace3 A Winter Wonderland

12th December 2012:
Another great chapter awww james is so sweat towards lily. I melted when he told her all he wanted for christmas was her. Then Sirius had to go and ruin it all way to have bad timing Sirius. But at least they shared a beautiful moment and was happy that it had stayed between them both.

Author's Response: Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!! All of your reviews have really brightened my day! I am so glad you liked the story :) and thank you for reviewing!!!

 Report Review

Review #9, by Grace3 If You Believe Me

12th December 2012:
Oh lily is living in denial but its normal for her since she is lily and she is so used to not liking james but after she believed that he really does love her, her opinon on him started to change :). Very nicely done great story to read :)

Author's Response: Thank you!! So glad you liked it! This story was one I was more nervous about and have been conflicted on how to follow the plot after the second chapter, but I am glad you liked it!

 Report Review

Review #10, by Smarties421 A Winter Wonderland

4th November 2012:
Update soon! This is really good, I would like to know what happens.

Author's Response: Thanks, hopefully I will get another chapter done soon...

 Report Review

Review #11, by Lily less_than_three If You Believe Me

15th February 2012:
Really liking this story! Please continue to write more :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I haven't abandoned it, just so you know I just have a few other challenges to do, and a couple of other things, but it will be updated after that :)

Thanks for your review!!


 Report Review

Review #12, by Fawkes_the_Pheonix A Winter Wonderland

11th January 2012:
Please update soon. I like your story. Thanks!
-Fawkes

Author's Response: Thank you! I intend to update it sometime soon, but I am currently splitting time between this and two other projects, so.hopefully soon.

Thanks for your review, and I'm glad you enjoy it!


 Report Review

Review #13, by harrypotterfan98 A Winter Wonderland

24th December 2011:
I cant wait for the other chapters to come out! I really liked the 2 chapters that are already out! keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Aw thank you! So glad you enjoyed them, and I hope the rest will be as well received whenever I get them posted (after the queue reopens, I suppose). Happy holidays and thank you for your review!

 Report Review

Review #14, by dracoscorpius If You Believe Me

17th December 2011:
Excellent story, I can't wait until you post the next chapter! x

Author's Response: Oh thank you! I have just submitted the second chapter for validation, so if it doesn't fall into the queue closure, it should be up soon. I hope you enjoy!

Thanks so much for your review, and happy holidays!


 Report Review

Review #15, by hallie If You Believe Me

17th December 2011:
i like it its different

Author's Response: Why thank you, the secnd chapter has just been submitted and I hope it can be validated before the queue closure. Hope you enjoy it, and Happy Holidays!

 Report Review

Review #16, by ms4aisa If You Believe Me

12th December 2011:
good chapter :) I already really like it and I'm looking forward to the next chapter to see what's going to happen :)
great work! :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm working on the next chapter right now, actually, so your review is very encouraging and inspiring! I hope you enjoy the entire story :)

 Report Review

Review #17, by GryffindorFan19 If You Believe Me

11th December 2011:
This story is AMAZING! Is there going to be a next chapter?

Author's Response: Thanks, and yes, this is going to be multi-chptered, but it definitely won't be finished by Christmas. Silly me started it too late for that...

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login