Hey there! Seems like it's been forever since I've seen you around the forums and such! Probably because I just started coming back recently lol. Anyway, I decided to come creep on your author's page and this story caught my eye!
I actually haven't read very many Minerva stories but the idea of Tom/Minerva/Alastor love triangle was incredibly tempting. I just had to read it. I think it's a really interesting and unique set up. So far you seem to have Minerva very much in character and I like the way you've portrayed a more youthful Alastor. That's definitely very intriguing. I've never really thought about what he would have been like as a younger man. I like what you've done with him because you've portrayed him a bit softer than he is when we know him in the books, which truly makes all kinds of sense because you know, he hasn't 'been there, done that' yet in life. It seems reasonable that he would have been just like this when he was at Hogwarts, because you can still see the shades of the Moody we all know from the books, but it's definitely a characterization that makes sense for a younger version of him.
Also, you get a million points for using a Frank Sinatra song as the title inspiration. I love Sinatra. So much. Makes me wish I had been alive during his day. Sigh.
Anyway, I'm really excited to see where you go with this story! I hope you update soon! (:
Erica.Author's Response: Erica! We haven't spoken in what seems like forever! I am so glad you came to check out my author's page and that this story caught your eye. I'm glad the ship tempted you to read this as it tempted me to write it haha. I'm glad that you think my portrayal of the younger Minerva is in character, I see a tad of myself in her but then I want to show what JK saw in her. I think he had to be a bit softer because as this story goes on he'll learn that you have to be tough to survive.
I had to use Frank Sinatra because he's my favourite singer from that era and this is one of my favourite songs.
I'll try to update as soon as possible!!
Thank you and I hope we get to talk over at the forums soon,
Bex Report Review
First of all can I say that yours is probably one of my first Minerva/Alastor pairings I've read!
I liked the way you flicked between two different era's, first with her being so young and then the next with her going into the 7th year. It gives a contrast to how much she has changed but at the same time it shows that little things such as a strong can transport her to have the same feelings that she did before.
I also like the way you've connected the title as being the song that's significant in this song as it really does show how important the song was to Minerva when she was younger.
Making Alastor one of her best friends is a nice idea because then you can have the love triangle with her, the bad boy (Tom Riddle) and the best friend. Mentioning Tom in the first chapter was also a nice touch as it adds an aire of mystery and intrigue as to where you're going to go with the rest of the story.
A couple of things I noticed which I've mentioned to you already is the paragraphing structure. Please break it down. It looks really imposing to the prospective reader and even I wanted to run away screaming! I also noticed that in the 2nd paragraph somewhere you've repeated the word 'record' twice.
As for the rest of the story... I don't have a clue. Maybe make Tom and Minerva meet in the corridors and have a little bit of an eye contact motion? But the rest is up to you!Author's Response: Summer! Well originally I was meaning to scrap that beginning because at first I wanted to make this a one shot but then I got all these ideas and it worried me about fitting them in. So now it will hopefully become a multi chaptered fic if the creative juices come back! Eventually I decided its one of the most descriptive openings I've ever done so I thought to myself I can try to work round it and if the readers don't like it I'll get rid.
With the song, I wanted it to be based round a song from the 40's because that's the time she grew up in and recently becoming aware of her family background I knew how to tie it in. I immediately went to Frank Sinatra because he's the most famous singer from that time (to my knowledge anyway), and then I had to pick one precisely from 1941 just to get the dates right and out of the ones I found that was the song I fell in love with and I knew it could tie in perfectly!
Alastor is a character I haven't looked at before so I thought maybe I'll just make him a little like Minerva and like how JKR portrays him, so then people aren't doubting their friendship. Whereas Tom, he couldn't be too involved in the chapter, if he had been then the atmosphere would've changed completely.
Finally, paragraphing is something I can forget to do so I know they must be really long. I forget about the breaks and how readers need to be able to scream and not get lost in those words so I'll fix it up at some point, promise!
I think for the next chapter Tom & Minerva will meet and I'll probably make this Minerva's pov all the way through now.or maybe not I haven't definitely decided on it yet.
Thank you for the review and I hope that this response is long enough :D :D lol
Bex Report Review
Hey Bex! I finally got a chance to read your first chapter :)
So I really like the premise of this story. I think young Minerva is a really interesting character, and I love the idea of her involved in a romance with Tom Riddle -- seems very forbidden, but the drama doesn't seem as contrived as, say, Dramione. (Sorry if you're a fan. It's just not my thing.) Moody was a little bit of a surprise, because I always thought he was a little younger than Minerva, but I kind of like the idea of him as a romantic figure for her as well. You've set up an interesting picture of two very strong but very different male personalities dueling for the attention of a woman.
I don't remember if you asked for a beta for this story or not, but if not, it may be something you want to consider. While this is a great story overall, you've got quite a few fragmented sentences and some other technical mistakes in there, and those tend to be a little distracting for the reader. The only other thing is that the beginning is a bit wordy. You spent a lot of time catching us up to the point you're starting from, and I wish you had given us those details in smaller chunks, perhaps as passing thoughts and memories for Minerva. The big paragraphs can be sort of daunting.
I did love your imagery -- you really took every opportunity to use metaphors and visual description to your advantage. It makes the story just that much more interesting and makes it easy for the reader to follow the plot and engage with the characters' actions and dialogue.
Good job! Looking forward to chapter two :)
academicaAuthor's Response: Dramione?? NO thanks :) I sort of liked it for a teensy bit and then saw that to me there are too many plot holes for it to even begin to work. Anyway, with Moody I could always picture him older for some strange reason but I had to adjust my ideas to fit the ship of my dreams! Updates are coming slower than expected seeing as I've lost my work AGAIN O_O but they will come- eventually. I've recently gotten a Beta and I knew from the start I needed one because I know what I'm like with grammar and sentence structure. Thanks for taking the time to review!
Bex Report Review
aw! This is such a good story! :)
The description is beautifal, the characterisation is spot-on and I wanted to read more!
You can really see Moody's personality within this, yet still slightly innocent as he is still at Hogwarts. I also liked the mention about Tom Riddle, it would make sense for the three of them to go to school together. Is there a possible love-triangle?
I hope you carry on with this, and look forward to readign more :)Author's Response: Thank you! You have no idea how much I've wanted to get Moody spot on in this chapter, he is very hard to write. His complicated personality meant I had to just write based on what others had written and JK herself of course. This is a love triange, it says so in the sig. I am definitely carrying this on, I have chapter 2 & half of chapter 3 written but I want to get some chapters written before submitting, hitting writers block and then giving up.
Bex Report Review
Hi! *waves enthusiastically*
I've never read a Tom/Minerva AND Alastor story before (although i've heard of it), I honestly never thought that Minerva would really even be friends with Alastor, but this story kinda convinced me otherwise :)
This is a brilliant story so far! The imagery at the start was spectacular and I think you captured the characters perfectly! Can't to see where this goes!
I think it's fair to say that you made a shipper out of me, haha :)
JazAuthor's Response: Hi! *waves back* I honestly don't think that there are any of those sort of stories (correct me if I'm wrong though.). I've always imagined a connection between Minerva and Alastor, even if it wasn't a romantic one because they seem similar in a lot of ways but as we know they can also differ. They have the same morals and goals but just different ways in which they achieve them so that would be (in my POV) how they would clash. The imagery at the start! Completely forgot about that. This story was first designed as a one shot, I'd written up a chapter but I looked at it and realised there were plot holes and too many unanswered quesitons so I got rid of all but that descriptive bit and wrote from there. I'm glad I've converted you, Tom/Minerva is a really great ship and the more people who appreciate it, the better! Report Review
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