Reading Reviews for Heaven Can Wait
  
171 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Noturavggurl Confrontations (Part I)

11th July 2013:
This is the best-written chapter in the whole story. The scene between James and Theodore is poignant and emotional.

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Review #2, by halska Confrontations (Part I)

11th July 2013:
I think you sholud quickly upload the second part and then next chapter and later one after that. in my opinion this story is pretty cool and it's really hard to wait so long.
I want to say that I really like your James. he's not like in others stories, when all he can say is "will you go out with me, Evans". it's good that you're making a human of him, not just a pretty boy, but a real man, who can not just admire woman but also have other - not quite positive - feelings for her. :)
but to be honest I must say that I hope the action between Lily and James will move faster. call me perv but... yeah, I really like when they "have the moments". oh, all this fire! :)


greetings from Poland! :)

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Review #3, by Navera Confrontations (Part I)

29th June 2013:
This has been awesome to read! Just the right mix of humor mixed with drama which is what I personally love to read. I really like the build up of the relationship between James and Lily and seeing the changes they are going through. How they are finally starting to see each other as more than what was on the surface. The bi-polar elements of their attitudes seems spot on for the age that they are.

I really liked the exchange between James and Theodore. It was a good reminder to James (and us readers) that not all Slytherins are bad and that the first war with Voldemort is at its opening stages.

Thanks so much for writing! Keep it up!

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Review #4, by celestialbattlefield Confrontations (Part I)

27th June 2013:
wow, that was amazing
i know ppl r usually extra nice to the author even if the writing is crap, but tbh this is not a lie
ive read alot of lilly and james fiction lately, some ultra long and depressing
but i think yours has got to be the best ( read against the odds )
i like the dialogues between james and lilly, they seem so real and vivd in my mind
Jus get them together quick will you!

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Review #5, by Corinna Confrontations (Part I)

23rd June 2013:
Ah I love it. Write more how James teases lily. :)

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Review #6, by lovethepotters Confrontations (Part I)

19th June 2013:
I was meant to be studying for exams, then I started reading this and couldn't resist!

It's interesting how you keep swapping POVs between the characters, I feel like I'm getting to know each one a little better :)

I love the inclusion of James and Teddy's relationship - I've never seen anything like it. It reminds me that James probably would have known other pure-blood children besides Sirius, we just haven't been told about them by JKR!

You've kept the tension simmering between Lily and James, which is lovely to see! I know they get together in seventh year but I kind of want them to get together already haha!

Well done on this story again :)

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Review #7, by Siriusly89 Reflections

9th May 2013:
Hello, Siriusy89 here with your criminally late review, for which I am so sorry!

Anyway, I’m here, and ready to review!

Oh! This is from Lily’s point of view! I like I, I like it very much. The subtle beginning, just her talking about her summer flowed nicely into her talking about her relationship with Severus, something I really like!

She sort of see’s Severus as the innocent person in all this, in the sense that she seems to think that Severus didn’t know what the others were capable of, and then again maybe he didn’t, but I just think its Lily’s way of justifying her staying friends with Severus despite it all.

The memories were such a nice touch. I loved the one about James and the grapes! Or then Severus protecting Lily from Petunia (because lets face it, Petunia was a nasty piece of work!) Then, when the cracks begin to show in the relationship, and you can see them both floundering to try and salvage it, when really there’s nothing they can do.

Sorry, I just have to mention it, the memory of James and Lily in the library, priceless!

Severus probing around in Lily’s mind was beyond creepy. If it had been me, I would’ve run a mile, but I suppose she was his best friend and all that jazz . . . still. . .

Urgh, Petunia. She just needs to get over herself! But hey, at least Lily’s meeting up with Alice, so that might take her mind off of Severus and what a rubbish friend he is!

And we’re back to James’ point of view! I love Tibbs, and him/her giving poor old Sirius a mini heart attack. The banter between Sirius and James is something I always enjoy, but especially in this story, as you seem to have gotten their relationship balance just right! Gah!

Oh? James is a right brainiac isn’t he? I like that he didn’t just get ‘Out standing’s’ in everything, and I felt as if you really had taught out everything! I love well-planned things! Yay!

And I will bet you anything they’re going to run into Lily in Diagon Alley!

And back to Lily’s point of view! I like Alice, she seems like a very level-headed individual, and she didn’t sympathise with Lily, telling her that her actions towards James were right considering how upset she was, she told it like it was, and I greatly respect her for that!

I can’t wait to see what she says to James!

Another great chapter, feel free to re-request!

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Review #8, by malfoygirl101 Confrontations (Part I)

6th May 2013:
This is great! Looking forward to the next bit :)

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Review #9, by hpluvr719 Forgive and Forget

30th April 2013:
WRONG WINDOW, DURSLEY!! Haha love it! This is really good! The part with Lily's dream was great. You had me believing it was real for a while there! I like the descriptiveness and the creativity in this chapter especially. In my opinion, it could be moving along a little faster though...
but I am enjoying it a lot :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for enjoying the chapter. I know the story runs slower but I don't want to rush the characters, hopefully you'll keep reading though :) Thanks again.

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Review #10, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Reflections

30th April 2013:
Hi, Elphaba here again! :)

Once again, I really like the descriptive details you include, such as this visualization of Lily and Severus's tree: "Its leaves often formed a trellis that filtered the sunlight into small patches of gold while we would sit in the cool shade reading..." I'd love to see other senses worked into the story. What do they hear? Smell? Taste?

I caught one sentence fragment that I might fix: "It was a long time before he realised this and when he did. A few weeks before our OWL exams began he confronted me about us..." I think on this case I would join the two sentences together.

I really like the confrontation between Lily and Severus, especially: "he tried to put a small coy smile upon his face hiding the rest safely behind a mask he'd recently adopted." Could this be a reference to him learning occlumency?

There was one spot in the dialog that seemed out of character for Severus: "Cos I've been dying to tell you about this new spell-" To me, "Cos" just seems too casual for him, even when he's talking to Lily. I think he would pronounce the entire word.

I love that you worked Petunia into the story. She's so rarely mentioned, yet is important to Lily's development. This line is especially funny: "We both hated the holidays for the exact same reason. Each other."

There was one aspect about Lily's POV that I question: "The guilt I felt was threatening to overpower me." I understand that Lily would regret being so harsh to James after he'd helped her, but considering all the bullying he'd done over the years, I think her feelings about the whole situation would be more conflicted.

The chance encounter between her and James at the end has me interested to keep reading and find out what will happen between them next. :)

Author's Response: Hey again!
So sorry for the late response. Wow I really love this review :) Thank you so much.
I am trying to work in more sensory detail into the chapters but keep editting them out because it just seems so long and distracting. I'll try to find a balance though! Thanks.

Thanks for pointing out the kinks, I will try to iron those out with my next edit.

Haha thanks, I think Petunia is a great character and we shouldn't let our personal feelings about her get in the way of her getting interaction in the story because her past is largely unexplored and it would be interesting to see how she got from Lily's childhood best friend to Harry's horrible aunt. :S At least I think so.

Thanks so much for this wonderful review! I shall return hopefully to your review thread soon :)


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Review #11, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Turning Point

29th April 2013:
Hello, Elphaba here with your requested review.

The first thing I noticed in this chapter is your great use of descriptive words, especially the sense of touch: "My finger trailed along the vane of my quill letting the barbs brush past. The Anti-cheating quills provided were always very scratchy and blunt." I love to see sensory details like this. :)

There are also some occasional moments with awkward phrasing that I might change, like this one: "My mind wandered boundless." Is his mind boundless? Or is its wandering boundless? I might rephrase this as "My boundless mind wandered..." or "My mind wandered boundlessly."

Here is another example of something I might tweak: "Falling back into boredom I returned to my parchment sitting in front of me wondering how slow time moved."
I think commas or a period could be used to break this thought up, and instead of "... how slow time moved" I might try "...how time could move so slowly."

In the scene at the lake, I really enjoyed your description of James with the snitch, "like a giant holding a tiny little person." It's something that I never would have thought of, and it is entirely fitting.

My favorite scene in this chapter is James and Lily studying together in the common room. Your describe the setting in way that I could clearly picture it, and their dialog feels natural. I think this is the most well-written section of the chapter.

"If you didn't exist, he'd still be my friend." -- Wow, I wasn't expecting Lily's anger at the end, but I like that she didn't give in to his charms so easily, even after studying together all night. :)

Sorry for my tardiness with this review! I will definitely be back to review more chapters very soon. :)

Author's Response: Hi dear! Thank you so much for coming by to review! I'm so sorry about taking forever to respond. I just needed the time to sit down and type out a thanks.
Firstly I'm really thrilled that you like the sensory detail. It's hard to get the balance between just enough and overzealous, so thank you for that! And also thank you for all the tips on sentence construction, I shall be mindful of it in the future.
I'm really glad you liked their 'studying scene', I wanted it to be a little heartfelt.
Thanks again for the review :) I'm glad you liked it.


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Review #12, by Emma Confrontations (Part I)

27th April 2013:
AAARGH! James and Lily need to get together!!! I can't wait for the next chapter :D

Author's Response: Oh my! Don't you worry it's canon and therefore will happen :P Please let me know what you think of the rest of the chapters when you return! Thank you so much.

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Review #13, by Siriusly89 Turning Point

25th April 2013:
Hello there, Siriusly89 with your very, very late requested review. I am so sorry about the wait, and hopefully, should you choose to request again, it won’t take quite as long!

Anyway, I’m here, ready as ever to review!

I like that you showed us this specific scene through James eyes. To be honest, I never really understood how Harry didn’t get what ‘L.E’ stood for in OOTP. Now come on, really?

One thing I really liked was that you made sure to describe James’ fascination with Lily in a way typical to teenage boys. I don’t care what anyone says, no fifteen year old can be in love, yes it can grow into love when they get older, but it’s just not possible. And then sometimes you read these stories where James is professing his undying love for Lily, without even explaining how he came to feel like this about her and it just annoys me. Whereas in this, while it is obvious James likes Lily a lot, it’s because she’s a pretty girl whom he annoys to get her attention, but who he secretly likes. The end.

Poor James’ conscience finally seems to be catching up with him. Lily’s competitive side is also very endearing, because sometimes she’s painted as a bit of a saint-like figure, you know, loved by all, hated by none, whereas in my mind at least, she’s a bit like Hermione. You know, can’t really handle not being the best at something, and if she’s rubbish at something, she writes it off as a waste of time.

James is a secret smarty! I loved their discussion on the Transfiguration question, in a way, it was sort of him showing Lily that he’s not the worst person in the world through a common interest. And it was just one of those ‘awh’ moments.

Gah! Well Lily’s mood has done a 360 turn around, hasn’t it? I know that, theoretically, it is sort of James’ fault, but in all fairness it did show her what type of person Severus really was. I can understand her being mad at James, but her last comment was just harsh.

I am now very intrigued!

Feel free to re-request!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank so very much for coming by to review my story.
I'm really glad you liked James's point of view and his thoughts towards Lily and I really love that you enjoyed the Transfiguration moment.

I do really hope you wouldn't mind my requesting again! I would really love to hear of your opinion for the next chapters as well :)
Thank you so much once again


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Review #14, by AllisonFayeLovesHarryPotter Confrontations (Part I)

25th April 2013:
LOVE IT! When is part two coming! I like the fact that James is friends with a Slytherin.. kind of.. And that he will eventually get close to Lily too. (Enough to cry all evening about them as told to Sirius in a letter in book 7) Of course you all ready know that!!! **Excited to hear rest of the story**

Author's Response: Hi :) Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I'm currently writing part II so I can't unfortunately predict a date but I will try to get it out sooner than last time :P Hopefully you'll enjoy the rest. :)

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Review #15, by Courtney Dark Turning Point

21st April 2013:
Tag!

Oooh, I really liked this first chapter! I actually loved that you included that whole scene from the books, from James' point of view because, for me, it somehow made this whole chapter seem a lot more real.

Your characterizations are great, especially of James and Sirius, and Lily has just the right amount of sweet and sour.

Nice first chapter!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for the review :) I'm really glad you liked James's POV of the Mudblood Scene, it was interesting to write :)
Thank you so much again!


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Review #16, by Carolynn Confrontations (Part I)

19th April 2013:
I'm here with a requested review!

I really liked this chapter! I loved the fight between James and Lily, what she said was well writtened.

You kinda left a cliffhanger since the chapter titile has 'part one' so the reader is into the story. Good writing!

Author's Response: Hey Carolynn,

Thank you so much for all the reviews :) I'm glad you like the characters and where the plot is heading. I hope other readers will be equally happy with the update. Thanks again for taking your time to review.


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Review #17, by Carolynn Alpha Dogs

19th April 2013:
I'm here with a requested review!

Good chapter, it was intersting to read in a new point of veiw. It gives the reader new veiws on the story when the author changes point of veiws.

It adds alot of drama. So I suggest you do this often, it works good in a love story. Good writing!

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Review #18, by Carolynn The Welcoming

19th April 2013:
I'm here with a requested review!

I liked the chapter, a bit of a filler, but still good. I liked the prank.

I also like how you're protraying James, he seems a little shy since he said 'err.' He seemed very confindent with what we saw in the books so good job making him have a shy kind of personality! Good writing!

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Review #19, by Carolynn Corridor Affairs

19th April 2013:
I'm here with a review!

I thought 'the moment' was good. It's always nice to have the furture couple talk while you know that they'll get together. Good writing!

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Review #20, by Amira Confrontations (Part I)

19th April 2013:
You're update was like a gift to me.^^ I had just finished my last university exam, switched on the computer and there it was. :D
Today I finally had the time to read it and I really like it!
This time, it is not the meetings of James and Lily that I like best, but the way you make James think over his attitudes and his behavior. You manage to describe it very authentically. Particularly the encounter with Teddy is very interesting.
And it's cute that Lily somehow always remarks that James looks good.^^
I really can't wait for the next update. It's unnerving if reviewers write that but your story is the one I check for updates most frequently - it's my favorite at the moment. If there wasn't any word count, I wouldn't believe that this part is as long as the last ones. I was done reading far too quickly. :)
I hope you take delight in writing on. ;)
Amira ;)

Author's Response: Ah my dear, you always make my day with your reviews! I hope your exam went well.
I love that this is one of your favourites! I can hardly believe it but wow it's amazing to hear that it is! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter love, and I hope you keep reading!
Thank you so much for coming back :)


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Review #21, by Carolynn Forgive and Forget

19th April 2013:
I'm here with a review! Just for a heads up, I didn't get a good sleep last night so forgive me if I missed anything.

On to the chapter, this one had some drama in it which good because it keeps the reader intersted. That all I have to say since this chapter is a bit of a filler. Good writing!

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Review #22, by twins1994 Confrontations (Part I)

18th April 2013:
I love this story and I was really happy when you posted this chapter! I can't wait for more!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much love, I'm glad you liked it :)

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Review #23, by Carolynn Reflections

18th April 2013:
I'm here with a requested review!

I liked the first bit of Lily's point of view, it was intersting reading about their friendship. Good writing!

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Review #24, by Carolynn Turning Point

18th April 2013:
I'm here with a requested review!

I love the detail! I don't see that often. Expressily in first person!

I like the characters, very much like the books

And, I like that you put some lines from the book to. Good writing!

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Review #25, by sal Confrontations (Part I)

14th April 2013:
AH-MAZING CHAPTER! such a good update, i completely loved all of the lily/james drama :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much dear :) Much appreciated!

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