You have no need to be nervous, this was a really good start! I love the way you wrote Draco, how he didn't immediately like a muggle, because that would be unrealistic for a Malfoy. Olivia is adorable, too. Please update as soon as possible (: xAuthor's Response: Thank you for such a nice review :)
I've been awful at updating this. I've had so much on my plate this past year - it's been beyond hetic. I've finally got time to look at my drafts of the other chapters and work on them. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon.
Thank you again!
xxx Report Review
Hello there. I decided to check out your story when I saw that you had favorited my Delilah story and Winds of Azkaban. I saw your name again on TDA in the banner request queue. And since you now have a story... I thought I would check it out. :)
This was actually really cute. I love that you used the mysterious Stonehenge and the theme of the eyes... the color, the windows, the staring. I really liked it and hope you continue it.
My favorite line was... 'he could always obliviate her if things didn't go well.' Haha! That made me smile because I wish I had that power! There are many things I have said that I wished the person that heard it would not remember! Good job putting that in there.
I love how you incorporated his set, strict beliefs about how 'stupid' Muggles are and how he would never touch one... and here he was shaking hands with one of them. XD So good on his character and upbringing.
And lastly, I loved the last line. "I've gone mad." LOL!
Great job for your first fic... way to be brave and try it. I'm proud of you for doing it. Best wishes on your stories. I want to encourage you as you take that step to being an author. It's exciting, I know!
One more thing about your story... this could truly be a stand alone one-shot. You've done a really good job at showing us exactly what Draco would do if he met a Muggle!
Dark WhisperAuthor's Response: Hii Dark Whisper!
Firstly, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! Lol, yes, I'm a sucker for a good Dramione and yours are brilliant.
Ohh, cute is good. I just wanted it to be sort of innocent and sweet, so yeah cute is really good :D
I absolutely love Stonehenge, which is why I used its setting. I used to live quite a distance away from my Grandparents and we'd always go past Stonehenge travelling back and for. I used to tell my little sister that it was built using magic and it was where they'd do all their spells and rituals! Haha. I just find it really interesting, especially given how long it's been there. So for me it made sense to use it, because Olivia could have the same sort of childlike, fairy tale views as what I held when I was younger and then Draco would know that it really was connected to magic and such.
Yeah, I'm with you there on wishing I had that power. I don't think before I speak a lot of the time, so it would be so handy!
I'm sooo glad you think I've stuck to his character and beliefs! I like writing about Draco because I feel like there's loads of room for him to grow and change as a character. But it's hard and unrealistic to see him just getting along with a muggle swimmingly when he's never spoken to one before.
As with the one shot idea, I did think about that and I still do now! I have an idea where I want to go with this but it's taking me ages due to humungous amounts of uni work, so I might just leave it like this. We'll have to see lol.
Thanks again! It means so much, as I'm sure you know (:
I think it is really, really good, especially for your first one! Actually, even if you had written hundreds I would think it is really good...
Olivia is really cool, her character is chatty but not ditsy, and she is nice but not a doormat. I love the way Draco describes her eyes and the way she is in awe of nature and seems so innocent.
At the start I was thinking that Draco wouldnt actually think of muggles that way, but then I remebered that he had never talked to them and his parents were death eaters, so it actually makes sense.
I cant wait to see where this is going, and just so you know, I think that this story deserves a lot more praise and reviews than you have got so far! So keep going and good luck.
-Kerryn xxAuthor's Response: Hello, Kerryn. Thank you so much, it really means a lot :)
I'm glad you thought Olivia was cool. I wanted her to sort of be the opposite of Draco, if you get what I mean? She's innocent and just like a fresh of breath air hahaa.
Yeah, I tried to make it realistic to Draco's character as possible. But obviously he can't be too mean otherwise it wouldn't work lol
But thank you again, I really really really appreciate it :D
Very nicely written. I liked the story, the nature of Olivia and Draco.Author's Response: Thank you! :) x Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection