I like the way it's written, and how everyone is unnamed yet it's never confusing! Great Job!Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad that you enjoyed the story! Report Review
Hello there! I REALLY enjoyed this! Your entire idea was AWESOME! I mean really, just...the way you kept everyone unnamed for a whole chapter was just really.:)Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm so glad that you enjoyed both this chapter and the idea behind it. I'm especially glad that you liked the fact that no one was ever named. It's like that in the second chapter as well. :) Report Review
Very solid two-shot.
I thought that you did an excellent job with your characterization of Blaise here as well. You really made him his own person - I've often seen him written as one of Malfoy's closest friends or one of Malfoy's cronies, and you went for a different interpretation. It was original, it was intriguing, and I really enjoyed reading it. I also thought that you did a great job of portraying the sin, and the results of it.
Excellent job. I really enjoyed reading this a lot.Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing again! I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story the whole way through and that you think I made Blaise his own person. I don't really see him as close to anyone, which really came out in this piece.
I'm so pleased that you enjoyed both Blaise's and the sin's portrayal in this story! Report Review
Hey! Here to review!
So I really, really love this. I always found Blaise to be an interesting character, and so far, I really like what you're doing with him. I have no difficulty at all connecting this Blaise to the Blaise we know in the books - he seems perfectly in character to me, with a lot of depth added on. Your prose is also excellent, and fits the standoffish vibe he always gave off (to me, at least) absolutely beautifully.
I also thought that your portrayal of pride was excellent. You didn't go with the easiest and most obvious ways to show it, which would probably have involved more interaction with other people. However, that subtlety was an asset in my mind, not a liability, especially since you're characterizing a child.
Great job. :) Onto chapter 2!Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm so glad that you enjoyed reading it and that you felt that it characterised Blaise well. Blaise was such a minor character in the books that I had more freedom to choose his actions and thoughts without them seeming weird or out of place.
I'm so pleased that you liked the way I displayed pride- it was the idea I immediately came up with when you gave me the sin and accompanying House and I'm glad that it turned out well. Report Review
You made such a good point in pride that I can't even begin, but I think I'll try...
First off, marvelous job at putting a lonely boy too attatched to his momma. It was, simply put, beautifully sad. Many writers strive for those adjetives in one story; only few achieve it. Well done!
His personality was believable enough, and I nearly felt myself ache along with him. I would, however, have liked you to put more input into his Hogwarts years, and expanded it further. Goodness, I hardly wanted it to end!
In fact, I think you're worth quite a bit more than fanfiction. Have you ever considered getting published...?
I mean what I say. Incredible work. Keep going, and I hope to read your other works soon!!Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing again! I'm so happy that you liked the way I included pride in this story.
I'm so glad that you enjoyed my characterization of Blaise. As the idea was forming in my head I was wondering about his relationship with his mother- and this is what came out of that line of thought. And I'm so pleased that you thought his personality was believable.
I will think about including more about his years at Hogwarts, though as of yet I wouldn't know what else to include.
Thanks so much for the compliment!
If you're interested, I have several other stories already up on the archive.
Thanks once again for leaving such wonderful reviews! Report Review
Your writing style is very good, formal, and descriptive; in other words, very beautiful and dark.
As for pride, it was in the very back of my mind until you mentioned it. Why? It is better, I believe, for the reader to think through the story. They don't need a push, just a few hints and tricks of the mind, which you had provided well enough. More subtility (If I spelled the word right.)
It is very fantastic, and I sense foreshadowing that keeps me biting my fingernails! Keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review! I'm so glad that you liked my writing style.
Thanks for the comment about pride. I'll definitely think about it- I do agree that it is better if readers figure things out for their own. Report Review
I love it. Your portrayal is great. I just hope he finds a little bit of happiness. Hopefully with good friends like Draco, it could help him get to happiness. I like how you painted his mother and his house. Good luck can't wait to read more.
~SAuthor's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review. I'm so glad that you liked the portrayal in the story- the second part shall be up soon. Report Review
Hey! I haven't stopped by to review your stuff in a while, which is a shame, because you've written yet another wonderful piece. I saw this on the Recently Added list and couldn't resist :)
What an intricate look at Blaise! I really like what you've done with pride -- was the character your choice? If so, I have to applaud you. I think Blaise is very interesting because his background does hold some measure of shame that he never addresses in canon, making it seem like he does keep his head up and continue to think well of himself and his mother. Draco would have been an obvious choice, and while I like his character, I don't think it would have made an interesting piece because it's so overdone and obvious. This one, I loved.
Your imagery here was lovely, as it always is. I especially liked the point at the beginning, about how his home looked like a Muggle haunted house, and the description of the spiders burning in the firelight. I also liked how you interspersed in the comments from the other society women. Blaise's reaction to those opinions was really interesting.
I did notice one little typo - when Blaise's mother is talking to him while he sleeps, and you write "his emotions, his awakeness", the word after that should be "were" (plural), not "was". A tiny mistake, but I thought I'd point it out because some authors want to know every little thing :)
The piece as a whole was very enjoyable. Good luck in the challenge!
academicaAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I was sad when I noticed that you locked your review thread but I understand why you did it.
I'm so glad that you enjoyed this. Yes, Blaise was my choice- the House and sin weren't. I'm really happy that the pride worked well within this part of the story. When I got the House and sin, I immediately thought of Blaise- no thoughts towards Draco and I'm glad that you liked the character choice.
I'm really glad that you liked the imagery because that was one thing I was trying to focus one in this piece, to try and describe Blaise's life and his reactions to it.
Thanks for pointing out that little mistake- I'll fix it as soon as I have the time (so many other things to go into the queue...).
Thanks once again for reviewing! Report Review
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