Reading Reviews for Of Love & Chocolate
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ClawBabe Of Love & Chocolate

20th December 2011:
OMR. 4 reviews?! I expected at least, um, I dunno, a 100 more?
Humor fics are usually just nonsensical, unbelievable endeavors, with the author not thinking out things properly and just writing their hearts out. Which gets confusing for us poor mortals. =_=
Anyway, on to the review, Moony completely stole my heart away(not that there was any left) ALL.OVER.AGAIN. MEEH.
Rem having a crush on Lils is, like, utterly believable.
And Prongsie and Paddy being the immature(but freaking adoable) jerks they are, is, too.
The Love Potion bit almost made me cry with laughter. *wipes tear* Especially Lils' reaction to it.
LOBED MARY!!! MARY MCDONALD FTW! ♥♥ I would kill for those cat-eyes. -_-
Overall, absolutely awesome. Other than a few minor errors( but we're humans), it was paarrrfect. :D

I don't usually review unless I absolutely LURVE the story, y'know :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! It made my day! I'm glad you enjoyed the story and thought it was funny, cuz, well, that was my intention ;) annnd I have started a little continuation of this that will hopefully have an equally cute (and awkward) remus and a crazy and fun mary :) so that won't be up incredibly soon, but its on the way! Thanks again for the review!!

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Review #2, by deathlyhallowsmaster24 Of Love & Chocolate

14th December 2011:
This is shabdabdingdong with your requested review!

The story is good, but there are some things you will want to fix.

1. You might want to start your story differently. You might like putting, 'I never imagined I'd have a crush on Lily Evans' or 'I've got a crush on Lily Evans. Call me crazy, but I do,' or something like that.

2. "Hey, Evans," James said when he'd reached her.

She glanced up and raised her eyebrows expectantly. "Potter…"

"So, I was wondering…" One hand flew to the back of his head and he rubbed at his nose with the other—Sirius was practically falling down with laughter. "I was wondering if you want to go out with me sometime."

I realized I was holding my breath and quickly let it out. No need to get worked up over this; there's no way she'll say yes, I told myself.

"You're asking me out?" she asked, and it looked as though she was restraining a laugh.


I thought this was probably a good sign, but she hadn't flatly rejected him, either.

James actually rolled his eyes at her. "Well, duh."

Even though I wanted her to turn him down, I felt a pang of embarrassment for my friend.


"But you're always making fun of me," she pointed out.

"Well… yeah," James said, nervously fidgeting with his wand, twirling it between his fingers.

"But now you're asking me out."

I suggest that you put when James calls to Lily that she replies, "What is it Potter?"

3. You might want to get a beta. Other than that, you are completly fine!

- shabdabdingdong

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

I was struggling with how to begin this story, so thanks for the advice! I'll work on it :)

I might get a beta someday... it's probably a good idea :P Thanks again for the review, it's greatly appreciated!


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Review #3, by miss_k_lestrange Of Love & Chocolate

10th December 2011:
This is really good! Wow. I really like how it is written and the whole idea of Remus liking Lily is interesting but I think you did an awesome job writing this. I am actually very impressed how you wrote everyone, they stayed in their character very well. I actually really liked how you wrote Peter, it was very believable and funny. James and Sirius were also very much themselves. I also really liked the end, it was sort of a twist but it was excellent. If you made this into a short story I would defiantly read it. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Your lovely review has got me beaming ;) I'm glad you think I portrayed the characters correctly because that's what I always put the most attention into.

I have started writing a continuation and, though I'm not too far yet, I will post it eventually! Thanks again :)


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Review #4, by rj_sunshine Of Love & Chocolate

8th December 2011:
'she probably digs werewolves'
great line - loved it.
i could imagine that the love potion thing would happen if james found out.
great fic 9/10

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

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