Reading Reviews for The Deal
37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lobellia Sackville-Baggins The Date (Among Other Things)

22nd March 2014:
Hey there!
Wow. Can I just say how much I LOVE this story? Well, I suppose I just did, so I have no idea why I asked permission, but I LOVE THIS STORY!
You deserve an award. You really do.
If you've ever seen any of my reviews on other stories before, you'll probably already know that I'm prone to ranting, babbling incoherently, and writing very, very, VERY long reviews, unless I have some pressing matter to attend to.
I absolutely adore Maya's musicality, as well as her no-nonsense attitude and her stubbornness and sarcasm. I love watching this story unfold, and how well James and Maya complement each other. I can't wait for your next update!
Lobellia Sackville-Baggins
(yes, I'm using a Lord of the Rings psuedonym on an hpff website. So sue me)

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Review #2, by ashleym15 The Date (Among Other Things)

29th January 2012:
brill chapter :) lol girl code rules... there are soo many of them! my fav has to be to tell horrendous lies to ex boyfriends of your bestfriend about how well she's doing and her mega fit new boyfriend. especially when its not true! girl power and all that :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Ooh, that's a good one. I might use it later. Thanks again!

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Review #3, by HarryandGinnyForEver The Date (Among Other Things)

16th January 2012:
Can't WAIT for the next chapter:D

Author's Response: HAHA, me neither. Thanks for reviewing. (;

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Review #4, by XoXmaximumcullenXoX The Date (Among Other Things)

14th January 2012:
I really love this story!
please update more!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm working on it, so stay tuned! (:

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Review #5, by M_K Trophy Boyfriend-Girlfriend

13th January 2012:
"Hogwarts should just be renamed the Potter-Weasley School for Witchcraft and Wizardry" is officially my favorite line of this chapter. xD

Author's Response: HAHA, it's so true though! Thanks (:

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Review #6, by ILoveYouWood The Date (Among Other Things)

13th January 2012:
I loved it! loved it loved it loved it!
this chapter is totally gourges! (as all the others where and are, accually).
And a girl code?the most-ever-important girl code is never, never ever never, come to a party with the dress your BFF came with after she was planning on it and telling you about the dress for a fu**ing year!(that's a no-no. this kind of stuff can ruin a frendship from childhood. Never even think of doing it).
hope it helped you (in some way), and am allready waiting for next chapter to be published! I'm sure it would be just as lovely :)

Author's Response: Aww thanks! HAHAH good rule, but make sure to keep the comments clean! (even if you put asterisks!) I'll consider using that sometime in a chapter later. Hopefully it's equally lovely!

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Review #7, by Crescent Moon  The Date (Among Other Things)

12th January 2012:
Great chapter, I loved it!!
I loved Al, are we going to have more of him later?
Also I'm a little bit confused about what happened with Maya in the toilet? Was she just crying or was it part of a bigger plot that's going to be explained later?
Anyway, I can't wait to read the next chapter, please update as soon as you can.

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, I do believe I'll bring in Al later on as well. It's part of a bigger plot. She threw up, if that wasn't apparent. I'll try! (:

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Review #8, by BlameItOnTheNargles  The Date (Among Other Things)

12th January 2012:
Oh I love your story and this chapter is amazing! James is kissing her to shut her up XD Haha! It's awesome when guys do that :D
So Stella cares about Maya...thats one good thing! =) Hopefully she will dump Nathaniel and then he gets a good old slap XD
I love James in this story! He is such a sweetheart in his own way!
Can't wait to see what happens next update soon! :}


Author's Response: I think it's absolutely adorable! Haha don't I wish?! But alas, things don't go according to how we want them so, you'll have to wait and see what happens. Thanks! (:

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Review #9, by Tori The Date (Among Other Things)

12th January 2012:
one word - manthatwassuchagreatchapter :)

Author's Response: one word - thankyousomuchyouaresokind! (: HAHAH.

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Review #10, by Lillylover22 The Date (Among Other Things)

12th January 2012:
So maya has bulimia?? Update please 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Does she? You'll have to wait to read what she thinks about it. Thank you! (:

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Review #11, by Lillylover22 Trophy Boyfriend-Girlfriend

12th January 2012:
I love the potter clan. Mayas answers to freds questions were funny 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Potter-Weasley clan is so much fun to write. (: And Freddie love forever! Haha thanks!

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Review #12, by Lillylover22 Prologue

12th January 2012:
This sounds great. So far i like maya hate stella 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Haha, no one seems to like Stella! Which is totally understandable. Even Maya dislikes her. Thank you!

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Review #13, by Miss Muggle The Date (Among Other Things)

11th January 2012:
Whoa! James kissed Maya! I can think of two logical explanations. 1) he's madly in love with her and has been for all these years or 2) Stella or Nathaniel just walked up behind her and he's trying to convince them they're dating.
Funny date. Loved Alana. It is always fun writing that type of character, isn't it?
Great job!

Author's Response: HAHA interesting reasons. We'll see, won't we? (; So much fun. I might bring back Alana later. Who knows?! Thanks! (:

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Review #14, by Miss Muggle Trophy Boyfriend-Girlfriend

11th January 2012:
Hilarious! The Weasley-Potters were absolutely hilarious! My favorite line: "Hogwarts should just be renamed Potter-Weasley School for Witchcraft and Wizardry." It really should.
I like that James has his motives too so it isn't weird at all. Well, not weird in a bad way anyway.
Hate Stella more for not even apologizing.
And onto the next chapter!

Author's Response: Aww thank you! Yeah, I figured it would be odd if James agreed out of the good of his heart (not that he isn't good haha!). Oh Stella. Hopefully you like her in the next chapter a wee bit more!

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Review #15, by Miss Muggle Prologue

11th January 2012:
This is a great first chapter!
Maya=like and I really like the name Maya. It's sooo pretty...
James=love because he's James Potter II and he actually played along. That was awesome.
Stella/Nathaniel=hate for obvious reasons
I like the idea for this story. It's original. Also well written and intriguing.

Author's Response: Thanks! I love the name Maya too. (: And oh James. I love James Potter Sr. & James Sirius Potter! Haha. Hopefully you get to learn more about Stella/Nathaniel in later chapters. You might even change your mind. (; Thank you so much!

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Review #16, by baletgir The Date (Among Other Things)

11th January 2012:
This chapter really developed the story a lot. It kept a great pace and has kept the story interesting. I am very excited to hopefully read more soon!


Author's Response: I'm glad! That was the point of the story. Thank you so much! (:

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Review #17, by baletgir Prologue

11th January 2012:
Hahaha, that was really cute! Super cute and fun in fact! I think this is a really good start on a possibly interesting story, though it is a tiny bit cliche. But that's what cliches are for, they are proven, good story lines!

By the way, JasperHaleForever, if you're gonna ask for reviews, you should start leaving some yourself! I see from your author's page you've been on HPFF for over 3 years and you've left 3 reviews!! That's pretty bad. No offense! (It might also be your username that set me off! Haha)

But anyways. Your wording every so often is slightly awkward and isn't as clean as it could be. (And I don't mean swearing). I mean that your vocabulary is somewhat lacking and the arrangement of some sentences could be changed around to better make your point. But your grammar is fine as is your spelling.

I think you've got a good story ahead of you, and it seems to be fairly planned out already which is great.


Author's Response: Thanks so much firstly. (:

I know, but I think there was no avoiding that cliche. Hopefully it gets less so in the future.

I am a hypocrite through and through. HAHHA. I'll try to be better about it. It took me a while to get into the swing of HPFF, though. And yes my username. -_- unfortunate really. I made this when I had first read Twilight. The first book honestly wasn't THAT bad. But the movies...well, let's not go there. But sorry if it offends you (and anyone LOL).

Alright! I'll work on making the words a bit less awkward. Thank you so much for the critiques! I'll try to incorporate changes into the fourth chapter.

Thanks again!

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Review #18, by GryffindorPride7 Trophy Boyfriend-Girlfriend

11th January 2012:
WOOT. SHE'S A SINGER. YAY. I NOW LOVE THIS STORY A LOT MORE. I'm a choir girl, music = life, so that's really cool to me xD


Author's Response: HAHAH Personally, I'm a dancer but I felt that a singer would be more appropriate. Thanks girl! (:

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Review #19, by Saffy Trophy Boyfriend-Girlfriend

8th January 2012:
Really liking your story, love the characters and the plot line you have going on. One thing I would say is that it is very fast paced. Completely ignore my comment if you find it offensive,

Please keep updating!

Author's Response: No, you're right. It's going a bit too fast. Hopefully the next chapter is better (though I fear it isn't haha!). Thank you!

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Review #20, by Dizzy73 Trophy Boyfriend-Girlfriend

7th January 2012:
Hahah! James's Keeper!
Can't wait for next chapterr

Author's Response: Oh Freddie. (: Haha, well it's up! Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #21, by AJ101 Trophy Boyfriend-Girlfriend

24th December 2011:
This looks really good :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! (:

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Review #22, by Loony_Scorpy Trophy Boyfriend-Girlfriend

19th December 2011:
Eee this is going to be good! I love that she already put down Fred! She's already part of the family ;P I can't wait to see what happens next :D Oooh and when they have to kiss ;) (which I'm assuming is inevitable :P)

Author's Response: I seriously love Freddie, haha! I'm kind of excited for the kiss scene. Shall be fun to write. (; Of course it's inevitable!

Thank you! (:

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Review #23, by laura Trophy Boyfriend-Girlfriend

19th December 2011:
i like it.A LOT only thing is..i dont get the whole cousin fred and dominique thing..could you replace them with rose and hugo? also, is stella mayas bff who kissed nathaniel? might want to make that a little clearer. Please keep writing though..its very good

Author's Response: Thank you! (: I don't really see how switching Fred & Dominique with Rose & Hugo will make a difference, but you're entitled to your opinions (as I've said). I don't think I'm going to change them, but I might introduce Rose/Hugo later. I just really like Fred & Dom.

Yes, Stella is Maya's best friend who kissed Nathaniel. Sorry if that wasn't clear enough!

Thanks again!

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Review #24, by LeliOranges Trophy Boyfriend-Girlfriend

17th December 2011:
i like this! It's super interesting and pretty unique. Here's what I think is going to happen: James will start falling for Maya but he'll hide it really well. Then Maya will fall in love with James but he won't know cause he's been trying to convince himself that he's not in love with her because he's certain that she doesn't love him. Then James will break it off because he can't stand being with her but not actually and then Maya will be like "don't leave I love you" and they'll live happily ever after!

Author's Response: Everyone's entitled to their opinions. I like that you have an idea of what's going to happen. It'll make the story all the more interesting if it does/doesn't meet your storyline.

But will it match your idea? Stay tuned to find out. (;

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Review #25, by RachelleSnape Trophy Boyfriend-Girlfriend

16th December 2011:
great story line thus far! I'm liking this a lot. Please update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'll update ASAP. (:

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