Hello there! (:
A story like no other. I haven't seen anything like this around HPFF. It's an original idea, you could say.
You almost killed me when you didn't tell us what the speaker's name was. At the start, I assumed it was Minerva McGonagall but about halfway down, I got the sense that it wasn't her. When she started talking about Tom starting to become mean, with that particular time when he hanged up a cat, and the speaker didn't really think much of it, that's when I knew it wasn't her. To me, Minerva wouldnt' really tolerate that behaviour. And, I have no idea where I was going with that. Ugh. O.o Sorry.
The story was really consistent and it flowed really well. And you really kept an atmosphere of mystery when you didn't tell us right away why Lucy was the reason that he died until the end. That was a nice touch to the story. :D
41st review out of 100Author's Response: Aww thank you for the lovely review! I'm glad you thought it was original :)
I've gotten a lot of comments about how people thought it was going to be McGonagall, but like you said, it really never fit with her character, to me. McGonagall was always strict by the rules and good and for her to have ever been friends with Tom Riddle... I don't know it just never occurred to me, and it still doesn't, that that would happen.
Thank you for the lovely review!
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This was a really interesting idea. You exicuted it really well. It took me a moment to realize what the unbreakable vow was because the part were he throws her against the wall wasn't as emphasized as it could have been. That might have just been me being slow though. Anyway you did a really good job :)Author's Response: Was it confusing? I'll have to look into that.
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it!
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Hi! magnolia_magic here from the forums :)
I think you've got a really unique idea here. I've never heard of a story like this, and it's an interesting change from the usual :)
I enjoyed the way you set the scene at the beginning, and I really loved the plot throughout the whole thing. You have good attention to detail, and you do a great job of explaining everything so it's clear and convincing. Event though this story is so different from the story we read in the last HP book, I totally believed that it could have happened.
I think that you could really improve a lot on your characterization in this. I liked reading from Lucy's perspective, but I really didn't feel like I got to know her as a character. What kind of person was she in school, and afterwards? What did she and Tom like about each other? Just little details about those kinds of things would be a great addition. I wanted to know more about the friendship between Lucy and Tom, and more detail about her emotions when the friendship ended. So just a sentence here and there describing those things would help a lot :)
This plot made me want to read more! I liked the way you built some suspense throughout. Telling us right off the top that Lucy was the real reason for Tom's death, but waiting till the end to say why...that was a really nice touch, and a great way to keep a reader's attention. :)
Thanks so much for the request! I really enjoyed this oneshot overall--it's a very intriguing read. Keep up the good work!
--MaggieAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review!
I definitely see what you mean about characterization. I wrote this in about forty-five minutes and so I didn't really take the time to get to know Lucy or make a special effort to include specific details. I was basically just writing down facts.
I'll definitely take what you said into consideration. Thanks so much for the compliments, too, and and again for the review!
~cb ") Report Review
Here with your review! :D
This story is really sad. Good, but sad. This story was very original, I mean, I've read stories where Tom Riddle falls in love but chooses power over love (*raises hand*) but never anything like this.
I loved it how you didn't tell us the name of the character until the end, it made me thinking throughout the story who it was (honestly, I thought it was Minerva). I also liked how you didn't really give any flashbacks, you just stated the truth. There was no grey; only black and white.
I did pick up a few errors, but nothing big enough to turn me off the story.
Congratulations on keeping me entertained throughout the story even though it was written in 2nd person (for some reason those stories turn me off them) this one managed to keep me entertained throughout.
Your emotion was portrayed really well - especially the last scene with Harry and Lucy's grave.
All in all, brilliant story :) Off topic: but I love the banner as well
*Jaz 9/10Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it and thanks for letting me know that there were some mistakes ")
And hahaha that banner is my favourite, too.
~cb Report Review
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