I really thought this story was sensual. Yes I know a weird way to describe a story but in my eyes it was really sensual . Both characters were still in character but you could still notice they were young and not yet the characters they would grow into ( if that doesn’t make any sense just ignore it). I like this ship when it’s done realistic and not OOC and clichéd, which wasn’t the case. You wrote in a way that it could have been possible so that’s a very good thing. Next to that I loved when you said something alike the loveless couple in your story ( but I’m not too sure what the exact wording was but what I do know that it really hit the mark ). Well done!Author's Response: Really? Thank you so much. So do I, so often this ship is overlooked because it's "too OOC" but Violet's and LilyPotterFan123's stories converted me (you should check them out) thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it :D Report Review
Oh I'm not a Tom/Minerva person in fact I'm truly not crazy about the idea, and sometimes I think it sounds weird.BUT oh my gosh this story was so, so, so, so, so, amazing!
I really liked it by the end you had me shipping Tom/Minerva, and I'm truly amazed by this story, this story is so good, why do you have to be such a brilliant author?
This was amazing...just saying.
LizzieAuthor's Response: OH MY GOSH REALLY!!! I love making people consider new ships (just like you made me consider Harry&Ginny)
Thank you! Your reviews made my crappy day so much better!!
Jaz Report Review
I've never read a Tom/Minerva piece before so this is foreign to me and to be honest...I think I found myself a new ship! I LOVED this. It was angsty and normally I don't read angst (because I can't write angst). I just...you painted such a vivid picture of their relationship. I could literally see a young version of McGonagall running away from this life of hers, searching for something to feel a void. I thought you captured Tom perfectly, he was very spoiled, very angry. All the things you would expect from him at that age.
Just one thing:
'she welcome his touch'
welcome should be 'welcomed.'
Other than that, absolutely brilliant.Author's Response: YES! *CELEBRATORY DANCE!*
I love getting people into new ships. If you want some good Tom/Minerva stories to read check out 'Violet Gryfindor' and 'lilypotterfan123' they write amazing stories and first introduced me to this shipping!!!
Haha, I love writing angst! Don't know why but I find it hard to write a happy story :)
I just had someone beta my story so hopefully all those little mistakes will be gone :D
Jaz Report Review
Hey there! I'm here with your review :)
First up, have you had this beta'd? I'd be happy to beta it for you if you haven't. I offer because 1) I actually like the story and 2) because to point out the grammar errors etc. of this sorta took up way too much room in the review.
Anyway, onto the other stuff. :D
I loved this. Angst is wonderful, and this was perfect. Never having read a Tom/Minerva, i might have to go and hunt some good ones out, because this was inspiring :P
One-shot, so there wasn't much to the plot, but what there was, was brilliant.
Pacing was good, flow also.
Description was wonderful and characterisation was well done.
The only things i'd have a look at are the formatting and the grammar/punctuation. But as I said, you can get a beta for that (and I'm happy to help out if you want, just shoot me a PM.)
Anyway, well done. I saw this was for a challenge and I hope you do great! Keep up the amazing writing,
- Adele :)Author's Response: Sorry for the last response!
No, I do not have a beta for this story and I would be so grateful if you could beta this story *scurries off to send you a PM*
I love writing Tom/Minerva! I always love the idea that Tom used to love once; before he became Voldemort.
The results, unfortunately, never came out for the challenge but thank you anyway for such an amazing review!
I shall send you a PM now!!
Jaz Report Review
Hello, this is fauxthefox from the forums with your requested review!
This was definitely not something I would usually lean toward, but you did pretty well with it. McGonagall's character was very good. I like her longing and nostalgia, and the way that - even in the first scene - she's learning to bottle herself up.
I really can't see Tom loving anybody, because that's his thing, right? That's my only issue with this.
FauxAuthor's Response: Hi!
Yeah, Tom/Minerva is a very particular ship; only a few people really like it, but thanks for reading anyway :)
Thanks for the review anyway; it' been really helpful :D
Jaz Report Review
This is quite angsty, you were right. :) But it's also quite good (I use the word quite too much don't I?), I thought you captured Tom quite nicely, as a nasty little boy at heart. And the sentence where you said 'the loveless couple' was quite epic really, because that would be any relationship Tom was in.
Loveless.Author's Response: Thank you and don't worry I use the world 'cool' way too much haha, thanks :) yay for using epic-stuff!! :D Thanks for reading this! x Report Review
I've never read a Tom/Minerva before but I've always been interested, so I'm glad that I read this.
I really enjoyed reading this. I think that you did a great job of portraying the hopelessness of the situation. I really felt for Minerva- she had expected him to still love her, but he had changed. In this story he acted like the Voldemort we know from the series, but it was interesting to see that in Minerva's memories it looked as though he loved her- or, at the very least, treasured her and treated her like a princess.
I liked the way you used the idea of running in this story. It really helped to give me an idea of Minerva at this point in her life- she's been scared of many things and so she ran- and now she can't go back, no matter how much she desires to do so, and so she has to keep on running. It's a very interesting idea that, at the end of the story, after she emptied her red box, she will still be running, even though she won't know why. I think that a lot of us are continually running from something, only we aren't quite aware of the fact that we are.
I did notice one or two small little typos as I was reading (feel free to ignore these corrections). In the phrase "his gaze not lingering from Minerva’s face", did you mean "not lingering on" or "lingering on"? I had a little trouble understanding it- I think that you mean that he couldn't stop looking at her? As well, "He eoched", it should be "echoed" and "started deep" should be "stared".
What I find the most interesting about this story is that at the end of it you can see the hints of her future character starting to shine through. She's stubborn with a hidden grief that will make her stronger.
All in all I really enjoyed this story and I think that I definitely will look up some more Tom/Minerva stories.Author's Response: Tom/Minerva is defiantly an under loved ship in the shipping world.
Thank you! I tried to make this as realistic as possible and I'm glad that you think that I did a real job.
Woops, I'm terrible with typos. I'll fix them asap, thanks for pointing them out :) Check out Violet Gryffindor and Lilypotterfan123 for brilliant Tom/Minerva stories! They are the reasons that I started shipping them in the first place
Jaz, x Report Review
I love MM/TR. It's such an interesting pair with tones of DM/HG (Ugh! Druna 4ever!) but there's something about the pairing and this piece that changes all of the charecter's light. Normaly MM is a strict but kind which and TR is usualy evil, but here we have MM falling for evil and TR, defying Dumbledore by Loving.
Do you know anyother good 15+ MM/TR stories? It's so hard to find one...Author's Response: Yay someone else who loves Tom/Minerva!! I'm glad you like it, it's a fun shipping to write because there are no rules and no cliche's which is one of the main reasons why I love it so much.
Search Tom/Minerva in the search settings and some will come up, also search up 'lilypotterfan123' and 'Violet Gryffindor' they write some amazing Tom/Minerva stories! Report Review
it was somewhat confusing and the pairing disturbs me but the banner was nice ;]Author's Response: If you don't like the story then please don't read it. Tom/Minerva are one of my otp's and you can personally critize them all you want but don't say it to the author.
How in any way was this confusing?
Next time, just don't read it if you don't like it, okay? Report Review
It's me from the forums here with your review!
You did a really good job of capturing the dark, angsty feel to the story. The descriptions were very good, and even though it was a romance, there was a dark, very creepy feel to it.
The characterization seemed accurate, we could see how they were both really smart and ambitous, but they have completly different concepts of right and wrong and their lives are being pulled in opposite directions.
Tom threatening to kill her was pretty scary and totaly in character from what we know of him. Since we don't see Minerva's romantic life at all in the books, it might make sense that she had a traumatic experience like this at a young age.
Overall a very effective and very angsty storyAuthor's Response: Hi!
Thanks. This was suppose to be a light-hearted story when it first started but that didn't work out as well as it should have haha.
I'm glad I got the characterisation of Tom right because he has definite personality.
Thanks again :) x Report Review
Hey thanks for the review swap!
This is the first Tom/Minerva fic I've read but I think you've managed to write a difficult pairing really well. This pairing to me seemed quite unlikely because of obviously the major differing views of good and evil but after this I think I'm won round a little bit.
I love the way you started it with Minerva going back to Tom rather than the other way round as it made it seem more believable. The fact that he emphasises how powerful he is by saying he could break her makes the story more angsty which I think you were going for.
I love how Tom offered her a position to join him as it proved how much Minerva really did have to resist him because she loved him but also knew what he was doing was wrong.
The statement of 'It was always you' makes the ending of the story so powerful.
Well done on this.
Merry Christmas!Author's Response: Yay for reviews swaps!
To each his own; I used to think that but as I began to write them I began to see them in a new light :D
Glad you liked it and Merry Christmas to you too!! x Report Review
You know how beautiful this story is? It's so beautiful that it has brought tears to my eyes. No story has ever done that, ever. I've always considered myself a tough cookie when it comes to reading sad and angsty fics. But now here I am wiping tears from my eyes as that final sentence got me. How is it you can capture Minerva's personality so well? This has to be your OTP, you write it like it is! You know when people love the ship so much they put their heart and soul into it? Well that's what it seems you've done. We have to collaborate on a Tomerva fic sometime, its a challenge I'd love to try :D
Bex :')Author's Response: awww, thank you! *hands tissues* I think that Tomerva has defiantly become one of my OTPs and that's all thanks to your challenge :) Collaborating would be fun, I've never done it before but it would be a fun challenge :)
Thank you again for reading this and introducing me to this amazing shipping :D
Jaz x Report Review
It's amazing, truly. Sad y'know but it makes sense who would want to remember that they lost a monster?
IndiAuthor's Response: I'm glad you like it :) This is by far the angstiest story i've ever written, so i'm glad it's sad :D
*jaz Report Review
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