Reading Reviews for White Fire
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SiriusPotterhead The Baby

18th April 2013:
First lemme start by saying this story had a lost of promise when I read the summary and there was a lot of room to develop all the characters which I don't think you made the most of. It was very rushed, so much so that I had to keep going back to re-read what had already happened so I didn't get too confused. It seemed as though you didn't actually read what you had written as there were spelling and grammatical errors throughout the whole story which meant I had to rely on my own interpretations of what you were trying to say. The jumps in time were not signposted enough and I found it difficult to keep up with the time frame. The battle in the last chapter was seriously confusing; there were too many POVs and too much information for one chapter.
The idea of the different elements was a good twist but could have been explained and developed a lot better.
Overall, the idea of the story was very creative x

Author's Response: Thank you, this was one of the first stories i ever wrote and looking back on it now i completely agree im writing another at the moment and it will be a lot easier to understand. This story helped develop my way of writing so i love the constructive reviews thank you xxx

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Review #2, by Jasmine Then I knew

1st April 2012:
You have to write more!!! It's getting do good, i can't stop reading, I'm addicted. You have an amazing talent and I'm glad I found this story :)

Author's Response: Thank you! That makes me want to wrie even more! It's getting hard though because i have to think about what to write next and i've set my self a goal of 3000 word per chapter so this next one might take a while. I also am trying to juggle school work at the same time and work so :) :) xx Lauren

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Review #3, by Fawkes_the_Pheonix I Love you...

27th February 2012:
I like this so far. Update soon. Thanks!
-Fawkes

Author's Response: Thanks i really want this stroy to work but i need to write faster!! :) :)

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Review #4, by Blackkat13 I Love you...

25th February 2012:
I really like your plot here. Things go a little fast though... But in a good way... I feel like if you had dragged this out I might have stopped reading. Anyway~ Really good!!

Please write more and up-date REALLY SOON!

Author's Response: haha i know i really think i should slow it down a bit and i think i will later in the story!! Thanks though if you think i should change a few thing to make it better please tell me!! :)

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Review #5, by jos Run...

24th February 2012:
I really love this story! Please keep writing it!!! :)

Author's Response: thank you its the first one i've written so i hope it works! :)


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