I really liked that chapter, usually I don't like it when a character gets pregnant in school or early in the story, but I'm really enjoying it here! Jay seems like a really cute mum and Sirius is so adorable in this chapter! Keep it coming
10/10
Annabel

Author's Response: Thank you! I really like Sirius' cuteness in this chapter. I'll be sure to update soon, I have it all written it's just hard to find time to get on and upload. :)

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Ok, i really like the idea:) but, the punctuation, is very bad and therefore it is hard to read. Your over use of brackets is extremely annoying too..
Sorry if im being crude its just i really liked your idea and if you just read over it, it would be so much better. x

Author's Response: Thanks for the tips, I'll try to be better about reading it over.

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The grammar is terrible. You should indent when each character speaks. It would make it much easier to read. Try saying don't, they're, couldn't, etc. And capitalizing I's and putting spaces between each sentence and word. And there's no need for putting random capitalized words in the middle of sentences. Otherwise I'd be willing to read it. I hope this doesn't come off as rude, it's just some suggestions and tips.

Author's Response: I realize that the grammar isn't the best in this chapter, it was the first one I'd posted and the first fan fiction I'd written. I have gotten better in my editing since, there are still mistakes here and there but sometimes while typing and editing i miss them which is understandable. thank you for the suggestion.

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I really like your story! I know that there's some grammar errors but there isn't that many that it becomes a distraction to the story like some other stories so thank you for that! Also your story is really well written and i'm excited to read the next chapter. Update soon! :)

Author's Response: That makes me so happy, Thank you. I'll try to fix the grammar mistakes im a fast typer and dont notice them sometimes i'll be sure to update soon :)

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