Hello, I wanted to finish the rest of the stroy so I'm reviewing this chapter. I'm confused about Nagini, she's a snake but you made her into human. I think you should try to explain that a little bit more.Author's Response: Hey Carolynn, thanks for that, I'm glad you're enjoying it enough to keep on reading it without me needing to request it. thanks for that, really appreciate it :) I will definitely explain that in future chapters - Take it, for now, that she's not a snake. It will make sense as the story progresses, I promise! :) Bobby xx Report Review
Here's me again with a review!
Good chapter, you captured the personalites of the characters that most of the fanfiction I read from a different website doesn't, but I'm a little confused with the plot of the story, will it come later in the story or the next chapter? Keep up with the good writingAuthor's Response: Hi again, thanks for the review, glad you enjoyed it again. The plot is definitely a different one and will be explained over the course of the story - It's kind of a thinking outside the box AU story, and definitely different :) thanks for the review! Bobby xx Report Review
Hello, it's Carolynn with one of your requested reveiws!
This got me hooked from the minute I started! I didn't lose focus with reading it at all! Even though I was watching an movie with good jokes. Back to the point, It was really good and I enjoyed it.Author's Response: hi Carolynn, thanks for stopping by to review and thanks very much for your kind words, glad you enjoyed it! I definitely tried doing something different with this one, and trust me, it's gunna be VERY different lol. Thanks again for the review! Bobby xx Report Review
This is the most interesting Snape/OC I have read in a long while and it's only three chapters, disappointingly enough. The twist on Nagini is brilliant and I love the dark atmosphere. The writing doesn't leave me unsatisfied, as most fanfic does. I will eagerly await updates.Author's Response: Thanks KatMan, much appreciated! I dunno where this plot bunny came from. I think it was more of a strange insight into animangi one day when I was really thinking about it. I'll hopefully have more chapters up soon. Real life is taking over that's for sure! I'm glad you're enjoying this, Hopefully have the next one out very soon, thanks! Bobby xx Report Review
Oooer, that was brill. I really love the setup for the setting. I think the Muggle PoV really gives it something extra creepy and ominous. Strange how a little bit at the beginning about Travis endeared me to him so quickly. When Bellatrix showed up, I was glued to the screen -- HE CAN'T DIE, oh no no no, and then ;_; alas.
Perhaps a bit overzealous with the adjectives at some points, but otherwise, I really adored your description. I could see it all clearly in my head, and felt the same fear that he did. You used the rain and lightning quite creatively for something that's easily overdone and just thrown in for the heck of it to create mood, so thumbs up for that too. I love how you connected it all to the darkness, and how he could only see Fenrir (I imagine) at brief flashes, and then finally, how it highlights Bellatrix (and then I knew he was doomed ;_;)
Great beginning! :)Author's Response: Lol yea... sometimes I do get lost in words and over explain everything, definitely agree. It's a lot worse BEFORE I edit it to try and reduce it lmao! But regardless, I'm glad that it created a very clear image in your head to go off and you picked up on little details like Fenrir (as quite rightly, Travis didn't know his name or what he was etc) and then BAM! Bellatrix in your face... No one deserves that, god I'm horrible to my characters sometimes... :/
I'm so glad you liked Travis though! I thought it was a different way to go about starting off a story, which quite rightly has nothing to do with Travis whatsoever, but moreso the town of Little Hangleton where Voldemort's fathers house was; that's where the fun begins... :P
Thank you so much for your review, really nice of you and I hope you stick around to read the following chapters if you enjoyed this one so much - they're also sadistic and evil, mwhahaha. *glomps* x Report Review
This is an awesome beginning to your story! I want to know more! It's dark and mysterious and it draws you in to it's words. I felt like I was in a creepy, stormy village, and it's only the first chapter. That's a very good sign. Keep going!Author's Response: Thanks so much hun! Will be updating it again very shortly so I hope you stick around to enjoy the evilness that is yet to come! lol *hugs* Report Review
I find it amusing that Chapter 1's title is xi which also means 11. Maybe it's just me.but anyway, onto your review...
I really liked the story so far. It's a strong and engaging chapter that really kept me reading. The was a real darkness about it, from the weather to the setting and the thunder and lightening, and then to the final paragraph. Poor Travis. I like you're brief history of the town at the beginning and about the Riddle manor. Many years on and it's still just as creepy a place as it was the day the Riddles died.
I imagine that the women was Bellatrix, but regardless, you characterised her insanity beautifully and I could sense Travis's fear, but also confusion about the Giant and the wand. She is so cold and that resonated in how you described her, in her words and that horrible laugh.
My only critique is that sometimes the metaphor's seem a little forced, or the description a bit overdone. There were a number of times I had to stop and re-read because the story seem to get lost within the details, or the flow was hindered. The one comparing the thunder to Giants was the one that really got me.
Overall though, well done on the first chapter. Grammar and spelling were really good. There was a nice pace and the story flowed well. Its a very good introduction and set such a dark tone.Author's Response: Lol that is amusing... thanks for pointing that out, silly me. Thanks for your review, I really appreciate it, just sorry it's taken me such a long time to reply to it.
I'm delighted to hear that you enjoyed this and the characterisation, pacing and tone of the story, glad it came across that way. The imagery was very strong, I'll agree, as I was trying to really convey the strong image that was in my head at the time of writing it. I could see it as if it were on the tv screen, so maybe that's why it came across like that? I dunno lol. Thanks for the review, Bobby xx Report Review
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