I love this story! I love James/Lily stories and this is one of my top favorite. I love how you make the characters and how you make all of them act. It is all just very amazing. Anyway please update soon!Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I've been a bit swamped lately, but hopefully I'll be back updating by June. :) Report Review
Ho, ho, ho! This is your Holiday Review Swap Extravaganza Thingee review! It's been such a long time since I read and reviewed anything of yours. I figured I'd try something of intermediate length.
I really, really liked your James and Lily in this. There was an easy quality to their interaction, perfectly natural to two people who've known each other for a long time and gradually come to an understanding about one another. James was the gallant knight in shining armor, come to rescue his princess from, er, well rain. It was a pretty big deal to him, I'm sure. Lily, of course, is no ordinary damsel in distress. She may fancy James, but she's still not going to let him get the best of her.
I love the gradual game of one-upmanship that the two of them play. James is probing to see where her tolerance for his advances will end and she's looking for new and interesting ways to push his buttons. All in all, it seems pretty evenly matched. She has so many arrows in the quiver, so many little ways that she can step out of the mold of "prim and proper Head Girl Lily Evans" and shock him while he's just incorrigible.
Suggestions? I think it would have been fun if she'd played a little harder to get, once she realizes that he isn't going to turn her down. Granted, she's already compromised her position, but I think a clever girl like her could overcome that disadvantage. When he starts to act full of himself or move that hand a little lower, she could have pulled away... taking his umbrella with her, of course. It's just a thought. Honestly, this is lovely exactly the way you wrote it.
James and Lily are one of my favorite romantic pairings in the series, and this was a very warm, funny, happy take on the two of them. I enjoyed reading it. Happy holidays!Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it and felt like their relationship was both funny and natural. I'm not sure I'm going to change the umbrella scene here in the way you suggested, but I love the suggestion and will definitely keep it in mind for a future chapter, because that's definitely something I can see her doing.
Thank you so much for your lovely review, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond! Report Review
Hello, dear! It's Holiday Review Swap time!
*sigh* This is just so lovely ♥ I've actually read this a very long time ago, but I was such a bad person and didn't review /: But I'm fixing that now!
First off, James and Lily! My OTP! I love them so much and I think you've done such a wonderful job with them! Especially James and his little Hero-comment in the end there, he was perfect (:
I've always had this image that it was Lily who eventually asked James out, so it was really nice seeing you use that. And I think you handled it really well! They both were so cute ♥ I loved the part where James just stopped, not even noticing he was getting wet because he was too shocked d:
As always, I just love your writing and those little details and descriptions you manage to slip everywhere. I could easily paint the picture in my head.
Lovely job, dear! You're a fabulous writer!Author's Response: Aw, you're never a bad person. ♥
I've never been a fan of the whole Lily-hates-James bit, honestly - love/hate relationships aren't much fun when there's really hatred. Even Pride and Prejudice wasn't a proper love/hate relationship, just Lizzie being prideful and frustrated and Darcy being uncomfortable and clueless. I've always seen Lily as someone who found James to be kind of attractive, especially once he calmed down a bit, and the idea that she'd ask him out really appealed to me on a lot of levels.
♥ I'm so glad you liked this. Thank you for the swap! Report Review
Hullo it's Ali for the Holiday Review Swap!
This was so cute! I absolutely loved it and it makes me want to go on a Jily spree! For you're first Jily fic, it was extremely well-written. I liked how James is nice and cheeky and his little hero comment at the end of the chapter.
One thing to improve on would be to give more background on why they started becoming friends/ Lily started liking him/ James deflated his head. I know it's a short story collection but it would definitely be nice to read your take on why.
I laughed when you said how Lily had said no to James out of habit when he'd asked her out the first week after term started. It was a great way to stress all the times she'd turned him down and very funny!
classicblackAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you! :) I'm glad you liked it so much!
When I finish some of my current WIPs, I might just write a story about how Lily started liking James and how he deflated his head. I have a lot of plunnies, but that one is starting to take hold. :P
Thank you so much for your lovely review! :) Report Review
Hello, here for the holiday review swap.
I totally had to read this, because it has James/Lily and the Smiths (I put the song on when I read this and it was awesome). I loved that she asked him out, it added a wonderful freshness and uniqueness to the story. And along with the song, I could picture the entire scene of raining and everything. Their conversation was just lovely and I believed it. Although the way she all of a sudden just confessed her love for him was a little weird. I'm not even sure if she had really meant it or was still joking? I would even have liked the kiss more if it were innocent and kind of spontaneous without the love confession before, but that's just me. :) I'll be sure to check out more of this story either through the swap or even just like that. I really really liked it. I am still actually hearing the song in my ears and the rain and can picture James and Lily under the umbrella and just ah! Loved it. :)Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. :)
The declaration of love was sarcasm, not Lily being genuine - I tried to indicate that by mentioning that she was using a very dramatic voice, but when I get the chance I'll go back and see if I can make it a bit more clear.
Thank you for the swap! :) Report Review
I absolutely adored this story! You have done such an amazing job with all the characters. I love Lily and James so much and you have made them adorable!
I also love what you did with Petunia. You made her a really likeable character, something I haven't really read or thought about before. I am really curious as to what happened between Vernon and James... any chance you are going to fill that in?? I really hope so!
So yeah, amazing job and I can't wait to read more!!
~FredWeasleyIsMyKingAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I'm especially glad you like my Petunia - she wasn't my favorite character in the books, but I felt like she's really ended up with a bad reputation that isn't necessarily fair - things weren't easy for her, but I think that she loved her sister a lot.
I'm probably not going to fill in Vernon and James, though I might change my mind. I feel like that might be the sort of thing left better to the imagination. :P
Thank you so much for the review! I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible. Report Review
Sorry I meant to review this earlier but one thing led to another but here I am! Adorable chapter. I always love your writing. It was interesting to reread that chapter again, like using a Time Turner. Hehe anyway I can't wait for the next part! Post more soon! :)Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm glad you liked this, and thank you so much for the review! Report Review
LOVE this story!! Seriously its soo so cute! Thanks for the good reads and hope to see more soon :)
God Bless xAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you! :) I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I'll get more up as soon as I can! Report Review
sweet mother of all things cute!Author's Response: Haha, aw, I'm glad you feel that way! I was definitely going for the "Could they get any more adorable?" vibe. :P Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
You have absolutely made my life by writing Petunia as a likable character. Its almost impossible to find an author who takes the time to flesh her out. To me, that detail made this chapter fantastic. It should be noted, that I have absolutely LOVED every other chapter, too. All the characters are great, and I loved how you described James as being unsure of himself once Lily actually decided to go out with him. Fantastic job--keep it up :)Author's Response: Aw, yay! I do think that Petunia often gets treated pretty poorly by fanon, which I don't love - she wasn't my favourite character by a long shot in the books, but I do think that there's a lot of depth to her, and I really can't see her as a villain.
She had a very hard life, IMO - she had so much jealousy and love and very conflicted feelings toward her sister, and then she lost both her sister and her parents at a very young age and ended up stuck with a constant reminder of everything she'd lost. I wanted to show Petunia as someone with a little more subtlety than just the awful sister nobody likes, you know? I'm glad you see her that way, too. :)
Thank you so much for the review, and I'm glad that you're liking the story thus far! Report Review
Great chapter! Very cute :DAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you! :) Report Review
Hey there! It's Molly from TGS, here with your requested review!
First things first: can I just say how much I love your characterizations of Lily and James? Because I do. I adore them. James reminded me very much of a puppy in this - he was excited and wide-eyed and just all around adorable. And your Lily! Gah, she was flawless, with her sweet and gentle demeanor. They're both exactly how I always imagined them being, so great job there. Fantastic even!
I also really enjoyed all of the subtle in this, mainly when you were describing how James and Lily had grown closer over the course of the last year and so. It felt so natural, not at all forced. I particularly loved the bit where it mentioned Petunia asking Lily why she was so happy after she spent the day in the company of Remus and James. It's just so nice and different to see a James and Lily story where things evolve naturally. There's no external forces pushing them together (except the rain, but shh) and there's no dramatic circumstances that, again, are forcing them to "endure" one another's presence. It's just so organic, and you captured it beautifully.
I know I keep mentioning all of the things I liked, but that's because there are just so many things that are great about this chapter. The dialogue was realistic, the pacing are just right, and there were some very pretty descriptions in here, but you didn't let them overwhelm the chapter or take away from the main focus of the chapter, which is lovely.
Just an all-around great job! I know you wanted me to take a look at Chapter 2 as well, so I'll go do that now. I just thought I'd leave this here because you should know how much I enjoyed this.Author's Response: Hey! I am so sorry it's taken me so long to answer this - I have a bit of a backup, but I thought I had gotten to this. :( I'm sorry. I am kind of lame sometimes.
I'm really glad you liked my James and Lily! They're two of my favourite characters to write, and I'm glad they lived up to your standards. :) I definitely wanted to show a natural evolution to them - I feel like often James/Lily stories can get a little artificial. Like, "Loud fighting, I hate you, well I hate you, oh no we have to patrol together, tada we're in love." And I just have always thought of it as developing more naturally and gradually than that, you know?
Thank you so much for the review, and I'm really glad that thus far this works for you. :) Report Review
Oh, lovely as always. I was confused at first by this being out of order, but I actually really love how you've gone back in time. This story isn't so much about advancing the plot (because we all know what happens, ultimately) but rather about appreciating all the moments. And we really have to appreciate them given they have so little time left. :'(
And you make it very easy to appreciate them, I must say, as they are written so beautifully. Thank you!Author's Response: Yeah, I was a bit worried that people would get confused, but it just jumped into my head, and it seemed silly to make it its own one-shot when it goes with this story. :P Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
Fantastic story!! I really, really love it!! James and Lily are the most adorable couple ever!!Author's Response: Totally agree. James and Lily are one of my favourite couples in lit. So adorable.
Thank you for the review! :) Report Review
Sorry, I've just realised I'd read this a while ago and never reviewed.
I really liked Snape in this chapter, not liked him like him, but you made him every true to how I imagine him to act when he was that age.
I loved this chapter as always and I can't wait to see what's going to happen next. Please update as soon as you can.Author's Response: Aww, no worries! :) Thank you for your review! Report Review
Loved it :D I have to admit I was never really into reading Marauders fics like that -I generally don't read fics like that at all- but this is just too great to resist for long. I actually think you made me want to read more of this kind, which is rather weird for me. Anyway, this is awesome! Lily and James are SO perfect together... Author's Response: Oh, I'm really glad you like it so much, especially if this sort of story isn't usually your thing. :) Thank you for the review! Report Review
N'aaawww, how cute! :D Loved their interaction here! I love fics where Lily actually asks James out and this was one of the best of the kind... Loved it!Author's Response: One of the best of the kind? *blush* Thank you so much! I'm really glad you like it! Report Review
James is delicious. (Although I'm sure I've mentioned that before.)
This was wonderful and I loved that Peter was included. The confrontation with Severus (to me, anyway) tied in nicely from the previous chapter. All in all, it was great to see more into James and Lily's relationship, particularly that it wasn't always perfect.
While I certainly am not a Snape fan, I liked how you wrote him here. It gave his character more depth and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.
Anywho, another marvelous chapter, Branwen, and I can't wait for the next update. (Hopefully I won't miss it like I did these two D:)
P.S. I just realised how lousy this review is, but I really can't say anything other than I love James and Lily like it's nobody's business, so I suppose I'll just leave it at that and hope you forgive me.Author's Response: You have, I think, but strangely I don't tire of hearing it! :P And don't be silly about your review being lousy - nothing you do is lousy. ♥ I'm just glad you like the story so much! Report Review
What. Do. You. Mean. I. Missed. TWO. Updates? >_< Not cool.
But better late than never, right?
Branwen, I just have a lot of feelings about your writing. I just feel you should know that, because it's true. You leave me feeling so warm and fuzzy inside when the characters are happy, and so upset and torn when they're angry. It's a beautiful talent and one I will openly admit that I envy.
You've helped me so much as an author and I've learned so many things from you since I started here on HPFF. My writing is the best it's ever been, and I have you to thank for that. The fact that you not only helped me with improving, but that you write such lovely stories leaves me in awe of you (and your patience. I'm a terrible learner.)
I loved this, as I do all your stories. Thank you for posting it for us all to enjoy.
- Adele. xxAuthor's Response: Of course better late than never! I miss things all the time, I don't fault you for it. :P
You are not a terrible learner at all - you learn really quickly! You also kind of remind me of me - most of the things you've needed to improve on are things I needed to improve on at one point, too.
I'm really glad you liked this chapter. *hug* Thank you for the review. Report Review
I like that you made James be so rotten at Potions. A lot of authors write him as completely brilliant and not having to work at school, so I thought it was refreshing that this James does have to work at something academically.
I thought you did a nice job of writing the fight between Lily and James. I think it makes sense that this would be an issue that they would argue about. And I thought it was nice how they resolved it.
I also liked the inclusion of Peter in this chapter. I think it's much more likely that while at Hogwarts, the four boys were still close and that Peter started drifting away after Hogwarts when he didn't have his friends around all of the time.
I completely agree with you about Snape. I think what he did for Harry was the right thing to do and good of him to do, but he did it for all of the wrong reasons. I don't see him as much loving Lily as being creepily obsessed by her. I also agree that people romanticize him and it just weirds me out. I mean, he would have seen been fine with seeing Lily's husband and son killed and didn't care? What part of that is remotely romantic??? Lily clearly chose James and loved him very much.
Yay for Gryffindor winning the Quidditch match! Great chapter! :)Author's Response: Ha, yeah, I've noticed that too, and it never made sense to me. I'm sure he was excellent at Transfiguration and likely quite good at DADA, but there's no reason to think he'd be a genius at everything else. I liked the idea that he signed up for Potions because Lily did, and that he's kind of regretted it since. :P
Ugh. Snape. Don't get me started. He was definitely more obsessed than in love - if you love someone, you do not wish the people they love dead. You just don't. And after 10, 15 years? Get over it enough to have other motivations for your actions!
Thank you for the review! :) I'm really glad you liked this chapter, and I'll get the next one up soon! Report Review
This story just makes me smile - every chapter! Snape's reaction while a little surprising is certainly possible (and fortunate for James and Lily). Thanks for the update. I really enjoy this fic.Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) I'm glad you like the story so much - I have a lot of fun with it! Report Review
I love this chapter. You have a great story and i can't wait to read the next chapter. :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'll get it up as soon as possible! :) Report Review
I love these little stories! They always make me laugh and are very well written. I liked Snape being the good guy at the end of this chapter, because that side of him is rarely shown. Keep up the great writing! I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) I'll update as soon as I can! Report Review
WHOO a new chapter:D I reeeally liked the interaction between Snape and Lily, yet again. The way you write them is really believable, and I quite like reading it!
Sooo, good chapter, and I can't wait for the next one!Author's Response: Oh, I'm really glad you thought so! :) I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can. Thank you so much for the review! Report Review
FINALLY! Hehehe:P brilliant chapter!! Update soon! :)Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! :) I'll update as soon as I can - I do have RL to deal with, too. ;) Report Review
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